In order for this to make sense, you have to read this post first.

Don’t worry, I’ll wait.

Done?

Okay.

So, that plan didn’t quite work out. I shouldn’t have expected it to.

Let me back up a moment.

I’ve been in terrible pain for so long that I cannot remember when I wasn’t. I’ve had daily migraines since Amelia was born, something that I’d had off and on before that. I take a drug called Topamax (I lovingly call it “The Max,” when I’m feeling especially jaunty) to treat them, but it leaves me feeling a bit blurry.

The muscles spasms I have in my back, neck and shoulders are relatively new, and they trigger the migraines that The Max once blurrily held at bay. Through a mixture of muscle relaxants, pain medication, and daily chiropractic appointments, I’ve managed to keep them decently under control.

The pain has made me excruciatingly depressed. It makes me feel broken that “something is always wrong” with me. My friends tease me about it. I hate it because deep inside, I fear that they’re right. I’m irrevocably broken.

Because nothing can go according to plan, it’s no surprise that the surgeon took one look at my breasts and said that while they were, in fact, large, the insurance company would deny my reduction. It wouldn’t be enough tissue removed to meet their arbitrary criteria. I could, of course, fight it, appeal it, and in the end, perhaps get it covered. But, he also warned, I’d also probably want a lift and restructuring of the breast as well, not just a removal of tissue.

I saw dollar signs add up and I knew he was right.

I’d also gone in to talk about an abdominoplasty, which, in non-medical terms is a full tummy tuck. I’d heard you Pranksters talk about having both done at once and figured that I might as well, since I was going in for a reduction that I was certain insurance would pay for, see about having that done at the same time. Or really, just see what that was about.

We all have Those Things that we hate about ourselves. Maybe you hate your hair or your nose or your feet. I hate my gut. Always have. I was blessed with a pot belly and I’ve always planned to have it removed…eventually. No matter how skinny I become, I can’t lose it from there. Drives me bonkers.

The surgeon palpated my abdomen and discovered that the three babies that gestated in my short torso had done a number on my abdominal muscles. I’d suffered diastasis recti, or the separation of the abdominal muscles, which was weakening the core muscles of my body.

It made sense.

The surgeon wasn’t pushy about the surgery at all. He didn’t promise a miracle cure or that somehow my symptoms would miraculously improve overnight. But between what he said, my nursing/anatomical knowledge, and my symptoms, I felt that it made sense. Yes, it will be partially fulfilling my lifelong dream of having a tummy tuck, but also, and it’s a shot at me trying to get better.

I’m having surgery next week on Wednesday. I’ll be having the full abdominoplasty, not simply the outpatient cosmetic one, which means I’ll be in the hospital overnight.

Frankly, Pranksters, I didn’t want to post about this.

I’m nervous about the procedure and I know that there will be enough people reading this who don’t agree with what I’m doing. Whenever you open up about some health-related thing on The Internet, there’s some faction of people who are all, “YOU SHOULDN’T DO THAT, YOU SELFISH HEATHEN,” and really, I don’t need to hear it. This is my decision and my body.

To those of you who feel it’s important to come and attack me for my choices: I don’t have to ask permission. If you do not like what I am doing, that is absolutely fine. I don’t ask that you like it. I ask that you respect it as my choice.

But as my Pranksters, I know that you deserve the truth.

The Internet Mole People that will invariably come and shit all over me can suck it.

And to the person who said that I am proof that bad things happen to bad people? You can eat a bowl of hot dicks, baby.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

228 Responses to Imperfect Shiny and New

  • You are and will continue to be beautiful. You’ll just be a healthier you. I just hope that doctor doesn’t suck out your whore mouth.

  • MFA Mama says:

    It’s your body. The end.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

  • caroline says:

    GET IT, GIRL!

  • avasmommy says:

    Oh honey. Fuck the haters.

    You don’t need anyone’s blessing, permission or approval. Go forth and make yourself even more awesomer. Is so a word. :P

  • magpie says:

    Ouch. Heal well, babe.

    (I asked my OB if she would take out my gall bladder while she was taking out my baby – she declined. Then, when I did have the gall bladder out, I asked the surgeon for a tummy tuck. No dice. What is it with these doctors?)

  • Paige says:

    You kidding? I’m jealous!!! Good luck,girl! It will be great.

  • Paige says:

    You kidding? I’m jealous!!! Good luck,girl! It will be great.

  • E3
    Twitter: e3writing
    says:

    Good for you! Don’t let anyone say you don’t deserve to feel better about your body, your health, and yourself. You are worth it. Go kick that surgery’s ass :)

  • Best of luck, lady.

    & if you’re serious about the reduction down the road, shoot me an email. I had the same reaction from my surgeon & although it took me four years, I did get my insurance company to cover mine. Best decision I ever made.

  • Ofthesea says:

    Good luck with that, lady! I have also hated my gut my whole life, and also intend to have it tucked and restructured once I’m done with the puppy farm. Hope all goes well with you and that you enjoy your new abdomen AND feel better about those migraines!

  • You are going to be so glad you did this for yourself.

    The haters can suck it.

  • Becky says:

    I really hope it works to relieve some of your pain. And if not, you still are getting the cosmetic benefits that you wanted! I have a friend who has the same issue and says the same thing (“When I’m done having kids I’m getting a tummy tuck!”), and I’m sending her this post so she can see she’s not the only one.
    Also, I second avasmommy. Fuck the haters.

  • dana says:

    I have a massive diastasis – we’re talking like three and a half inches. It’s a giant crater in my belly (suffered after a twin birth) and I’m going to have it repaired one day too. So, no hate here. I hope you recover quickly and I’m seriously interested to hear your experience. No hate here. Also, I was told by the general surgeon (whom I was referred to because they originally thought I had a hernia too) that insurance would not cover the diastasis. Have you found otherwise?

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      I’m paying out of pocket. It’s not as exorbitant as I’d thought. Email me if you want to talk.

    • Hey, I have a 4+ incher (I commented about it below). Someone told me insurance would pay for it, because it was dangerous to walk around like this (um, been doing it for 8 years now…) Thought I might get around to that repair next year. Guess I better find out if I’ve been living in a dream world or not.

      I’ve never “met” anyone with a huge diastasis like mine before – when you try to do a sit up, does your middle bulge out like the scene from “Alien” where the alien baby erupts from the dude’s stomach, too?

  • Kristin says:

    I’m sorry you can’t have it all done at once. But here’s to hoping that your surgery goes well, and it helps with the pain.
    And as you said it’s your body NO ONE has a right to tell you what to do with it.And to the asshole who said that bad things happen to bad people. Obviously you’re living proof you’re parents were horrible people.

  • Right on sister. You have way more guts than I do because I’m too much of a scaredy cat to even talk to a doctor. Bravo for your choice because it’s yours and belongs to NO ONE ELSE. Not even Internet Mole People who think they’re right about everything.

  • Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:

    You know what my mama always said about cosmetic surgery?

    That that’s what god invented checkbooks for.

    A year ago, before I remarried, I had work done on my chin. Genetic double chin – didn’t matter how thin I got. My mom dealt with hers, I decided to deal with mine. Why? Because I could.

    I’m aware of the horrible things that bad imagery does to our body images. And I would like the fashion and cosmetic industry to just knock that shit off.

    But sometimes there’s just something about our bodies that we long to be different, despite having made peace with, or even having come to love, our other features.

    And I really can’t find anything wrong with that.

  • Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points says:

    You know what my mama always said about cosmetic surgery?

    That that’s what god invented checkbooks for.

    A year ago, before I remarried, I had work done on my chin. Genetic double chin – didn’t matter how thin I got. My mom dealt with hers, I decided to deal with mine. Why? Because I could.

    I’m aware of the horrible things that bad imagery does to our body images. And I would like the fashion and cosmetic industry to just knock that shit off.

    But sometimes there’s just something about our bodies that we long to be different, despite having made peace with, or even having come to love, our other features.

    And I really can’t find anything wrong with that.

  • dana says:

    Should have proofread that one… sorry.

  • Sweet honey baby doll….let me tell you something. YOU DO YOU !!! I cannot imagine being in daily excruciating pain, finding out there is something you can do to help it and then having to worry about people judging your decisions. No one walks in your shoes, lives your life or has one iota of right to say something about it. You are not only taking care of something that is hurting your body, you are taking care of a body image issue that is hurting your spirit and that oozes awesome sauce for you, your family and everyone around you. If I was anywhere near ya I would come over, love up your babies and make chicken parm for everyone so you could worry about nothing but feeling better. I would then pass out from the allergy attack I would have because of your animals but THAT is beside the point. You go take care of my Aunt Becky and anyone with a problem, you tell them to kiss your whole asshole. Or send em to me so I can cuss them out. Or both. Obviously.

  • Good luck Becky! I hope it makes you feel better once it’s all said and done. My friend had a tummy tuck this summer – it was a rough & long recovery, but the results are awesome.

  • Bobbi says:

    OK – people who want you to be in pain are not your friends. But you know that. I say have fun with this. I’m having a hysterectomy in 2 weeks and the best part is watching the male of the species squirm every time I say what’s happening. I mention the word “uterus” and suddenly every guy needs to be somewhere else – NOW!!! Guys are more than happy to use girly parts – they just don’t want to have to think or talk about them. So explain to them in graphic detail about what’s happening using the word “breasts” every time. Boobs makes them giggle, breasts make them cringe. “Removal of breast tissue” and “nipple relocation” are guaranteed to make them cringe. It’s more fun than making them discuss Oprah. And whatever you do don’t smile. Practice on The Daver.

    • txjennk says:

      Good luck on the surgery and hope it helps the migraines. I agree about insurance people, they suck. We have to argue with the insurance company about whether a wheelchair is a medical necessity for my paraplegic husband. Um…he can’t walk, what else is he going to use? And for the haters…screw them. It’s your body, your health, your choice.

      • txjennk says:

        Okay, this wasn’t where this was supposed to go. Crap. My reply that I wanted to give to you was that I love freaking men out with girl parts talk. I’ve had my uterus and both ovaries removed in three separate surgeries and I loved telling my bosses where I was going. The response was usually…”oh, okay, um, feel better?”

        • Bobbi says:

          I have horrified almost every guy I work with. Poor Jay, he seems to be in the area every time it gets brought up. So I feel compelled to make him squirm and blush. I’ve done it so often I think I’ve run out of things to describe. It can get to be difficult to work the word uterus into a sentence.

  • christine says:

    I’m proud of you!

    My Mom waited about 10 years too long to do it and her view of self worth suffered lots. She finally had it done about 2 years ago… and while it didn’t make her Barbie (thats not what she wanted anyways), it did make her so much more confident. Enough, that she left her craptastic job and found a new one.

  • James says:

    ya shou8ld do what ever makes happy and healthy life wouldn’t be the same without aunt becky where would i get all my laughs from :P

  • Mary says:

    It’s unbelievable that you can be in intense pain and the insurance company will not cover the procedure that you need to cure it. That is BULLSHIT! Even if they cover the reduction and you pay for the lift, that would be a help.
    As far as bad things happening to bad people, you should have a life of rainbows and sparkles. Compared to the assholes who criticize you, you are Saint Aunt Becky, IMHO.

  • Becky says:

    I want to say good for you on the tummy tuck, I too have wanted one for oh like forever especially since my little monkeys graced me with their presence 8 and almost 4 year ago. I also know all to well the pain and aggravation of migraines. I’ve had them since I was in my early teens and have gone through every drug imaginable, I now take a lovely cocktail of Topamax and flexaril every night and if the damn migraine sneaks through anyway I try chasing it away with maxalt. Every once in awhile I end up having to go in and get a couple of shots straight to the cranium. That’s always pleasant. I really hope the surgery ends up helping I wouldn’t wish the kind of pain I go though on my worst enemy, ok maybe I would but I like you so for you sake I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  • Shin Ae says:

    So, wait: are you still getting the boobs done, too? Or just the abdominal thing? I’m sorry to ask for any more explanation. And whatever the answer is, it doesn’t change what I want to say: I hope so hard this does the trick. I hate the thought of you being in pain all the time. I’m in pain a lot, too, because of my back problems, and I understand the depression and “I’m broken” feeling involved. And there are loads more ways that having chronic pain is horrible, but whatever. I’m just saying…I want you to feel better. I’ll be praying for you and the surgery.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      No boobs yet. Too expensive for me to pay out of pocket. I’ll do it…eventually. Starting somewhere because I cannot wait for one more thing.

      • Shin Ae says:

        Okay. That makes sense. I mean, not the insurance company not paying part, but the not waiting for one more thing part.

        You know, you are doing it because you WANT to, but I can tell you b/c I have had dr.’s and PT’s telling me for years that core muscle strength is so important. That’s part of the problem I am having with my back, actually. As well as some other, much more hilarious and YET NOT, lack of muscle strengths.

      • tell says:

        This isn’t a very practical solution – but have you considered moving up to Canada? My cousin’s reduction was fully covered with very little effort (besides the constant back/neck pain) on her part. I’d be more than ok with some of my tax dollars going to help you out!!

  • DirtyKSmama - Nikki says:

    Go for it!

    As a fellow short-torsoed SAHM/nurse with 3 kiddos, I also sport, and hate, a stretched-beyond-help, deflated kangaroo pouch of skin. I didn’t gain a lot of weight during the pregnancies, I drank water, lotioned, exercised, etc. and it still happened. And I’d love to get rid of it. Someday.

    So go for it! And if I wasn’t in Kansas, I’d be there in no time to run the house for you, so you could feel like a pretty pampered princess while you recover. You deserve it.

  • Stephanie says:

    I wish you the best of luck and a speedy recovery. You are doing the right thing FOR YOU. A healthy mommy is a better mommy. Bravo for having the guts to do it! (No pun intended) LOL!

    We look forward to having you back as soon as you feel up to it!

  • steph gas says:

    aunt motherfucking becky, i have to echo the FUCK THE HATERS sentiment. you just keep on being you, and if you have to make your outside match your insides, then go for it. i have punched holes through parts of my body to stick metal through and covered parts in tattoos – that’s me, making my outside match my inside.

    re: trying to get doctors to cover interesting things, when i was 19 my arms would go numb for no reason. doctors figured out it was stress in my shoulders causing it. i asked what i could do. they said ‘take a break’. i asked if i could get a cruise covered by my insurance company.

    didn’t work. bastards.

  • Amelia says:

    No matter your reason, so long as you’re doing it for you, feel good about it!! Hopefully it will bring you the relief you need, on whatever level you need it!

  • Sam says:

    Way to go Aunt Becky! I ditto what everyone else has beat me to saying, “Fuck the haters”. I’m glad you made a decision about YOUR body that will make YOU happy. Screw everyone else (not literally, obviously).

    I wish you a successful surgery and a speedy recovery.

    *hugs*
    Sam

  • pixiemama says:

    Frankly, I’m outta my mind happy for you. I call my gut my “flap.” Four babies, and I’m left with a flap. You, my friend, deserve this for yourself. Way better than a shiny toilet any day!

  • Good for you for taking control of your life and doing what is going to make you feel your best. I would love to get a tummy tuck but I’m just too damn chicken to voluntarily go under the knife. I’d also like liposuction and a boob lift. Most likely not going to happen.

  • jennifer says:

    Screw the haters!
    Your pranksters will still love you, even without the ginourmous rack!

  • Betty M says:

    You go for it. I bet you will look great.

  • mommabird2345 says:

    Wishing you a speedy recovery. It’s not fair, now you are going to be HOTTER! Rock on with your hard body. :)

  • Anna Marie says:

    I’m glad you are getting to do this. I hope the surgery is a breeze and that your recovery is simple and quick. And that you get a lot of vicoden to take home with you!

    Hugs to you and a big eff you to the haters.

  • Teisha says:

    Bummer about the boobies.

    Hooray for a new belly!

  • Rebecca says:

    If I had the money, there are TONS of things I’d have surgery fix. TONS

  • Momma Chaos says:

    Good for you! Who cares what anyone else thinks? It’s your body, you should do what makes you happy (and eases the pain). I’ve been planning a tummy tuck for years, I just keep putting it off to make sure no one kiddos want to occupy it before I go get cut. I’d hate to do it & then decide to do another surrogacy.. And now my dear I’m off to email you because I’m totally nosy on the costs.. lol :)

  • Kadye says:

    I do hope this will help with your issues. And also, who cares if you get a tummy tuck? It’s your body and it’s not like you’re going all Michael Jackson on us (too soon?). I hope you have a speedy recovery. If I lived closer (stupid Memphis) I’d totally come watch your crotch parasites.

  • Skinny Sushi says:

    I am fully jealous of your soon-to-be-perfect(er) tummy, but glad you’ll finally be out of pain!

  • Good for you. Fuck the haters and serve up some more dicks.

  • Nakai says:

    I hope your recovery goes well and you aren’t in a lot of pain afterwards. Good for you for doing something to make yourself feel better. You are right, its your body and your choice. :)

  • Karen says:

    I think it awesome! You are empowering yourself to look better and feel better. Nothing wrong with that. I will send positive vibes for a quick recovery.

  • Mystern says:

    At least you have a medical reason to get it done. I’m shelling out 8 grand for my wife to get it done for no reason whatsoever other than she wants it.

  • TrillianM says:

    Good for you! Have you ever had a surgery before? I just had surgery on my shoulder and I just want to say find someone (even if it’s on the internet…or maybe especially someone on the internet) and ask them every open ended question you can think of. I didn’t do enough research to ask the right questions about mine and am now learning what I’m in for the hard way. Most of all ask how long you’ll have pain for during recovery. Good luck!

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      I’ve had a couple of surgeries before. I’m really most upset about having to be in the hospital for a night. It’s the same one I had my daughter at, and I’m not happy to be going back. But I’m trying to focus on the GOOD things.

      Shoulder surgery is a HUGE deal. Are you okay? How’s the recovery going?

      • TrillianM says:

        Oh yeah I’m doing well. Found some support for post surgery support over at http://www.SLAPtear.com so that’s really helping. Seems like I’m not the only one that gets a weird nagging depressed feeling around 2 months post surgery… I’m pretty sure you can count on that crappy broken feeling not going away until you’re 100% recovered from a surgery. Four months to go for me just gotta keep my eye on the prize. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your recovery goes smooth and quick!

  • JoJo says:

    You freakin rock! Here’s to a quick and healthy recovery! As a fellow large breasticly endowed migraine sufferer I hope that everything works out as perfectly as it can for you.

  • Melissa says:

    I dont think you are going to get any haters! Good for you, perhaps when they fix your muscles you wont even NEED a boob job, and you can keep your bodacious tatas!

  • Sam says:

    First off, I’m toasting an imaginary daiquiri’s worth of rum to your BALLS Aunt Becky. You have a pair and thank God you use ‘em. I’ve been fighting a TOTAL ASSHOLE of a medical problem for months now and haven’t written. Bored friends and family to tears? Yes. Written, no. So right there, you’re invisible balls are swinging low my friend.

    And secondly; a close family member (who ps has just FINE self image thanks) had the tuck-age done years ago, mainly to be rid of an old-school surgical scar and loose skin. She loved it. She wore bikinis. She bared her balls to the haters, too.

    Good luck, recover fast, and kick more ass on the way.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      I hate talking about my medical problems. I’m dead tired of thinking about them, truthfully. This is me, telling you to talk about it if you want to. Fuck the haters.

  • mari says:

    wow e wow how lucky, how did you get your insurance to cover such a thing. i had 4 children 3 c sections a broken muscle still look 7 months preggo and also have a hernia and noe they will not do any surgery at all. how did you get past it all. i was just denied last month.

    good luck and congrats, let us all know about everything.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      Oh, my insurance isn’t covering it. They’d laugh if I tried to get them to. I’m going out of pocket. It’s actually cheaper than the boobs (WEIRD).

      Insurance companies can suck it. I’m sorry.

  • qcmama says:

    I am so jealous! I have wanted a tummy tuck since oh well forever! I even tried to convince my OB to just cut out some extra skin during my last csection. She said no. :( I would love to have a reduction (i went from a good solic C to a DDD!) and a tummy tuck but cannot afford it just now so it is still on my dream list. :) Good luck and we will be thinking of you down here in the QC! ((HUG))

  • HereWeGoAJen says:

    I’ve always kind of wondered what the giant backlash against cosmetic surgery is all about. I mean, obviously people can go to extremes, but if there is something about you that has always bothered you, what is the problem? I mean, if I decide I want to wear makeup, no one tells me that I should be happy with my face the way it already is.

    My sister had a deviated septum in her nose fixed. We paid out of pocket to get her nose done at the same time and it made her a much happier person. It changed something that she had always disliked about herself.

  • Tracey says:

    I would really like to know what the so called “haters” problem is? What makes them feel like they have the right to insult someone that they honestly don’t even know. I think they are just jealous! I have had four kids, I work out constantly and I can’t get rid of my extra skin. It hangs over all of my pants, it lays beside me like a pet when I sleep—it is gross! I can get a tummy tuck done if I want to pay for it and I haven’t yet—but that doesn’t mean I would ever begrudge someone else who is willing to have it done—even if it is not medically necessary and it is only cosmetic. To make a long story short—well, I can’t say it, but I think you get the drift :)”F” the haters.

  • Mama Mary says:

    Good luck with the surgery girl! And…”bowl of hot dicks”? Dying!

  • Hey, Aunt Becky (it still gives me the giggles to call someone decades younger than me “Aunt”) I will someday be following you in this surgery, for I too have a whopping diastasis recti. Full-term twins will do that to a body. Mine is so bad that my (post-partum recovery) physical therapist asked if she could use me to demonstrate to her student then called him over and said “feel this! at 4+ inches it’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen” and invited him to basically stick his hand into my abdomen through my tear. Thanks, lady.

    I am waiting until I lose the baby weight before I have the abdominal muscle reconstruction because then they can get rid of the excess skin (free tummy tuck!) at the same time. What, it’s only been 8 years. Sigh. I’d lost 20 with 10 more to go, but then gained it back in the stress of this last awful year.

    Anyway, what I want to say is: Good luck and we support you 100%. Fuck the haters. Also the core weakness caused by the abdominal tear is surely contributing to the back/neck pain. Once your core is back to full strength everything will probably improve (hope so).

    Will be thinking of you next Wednesday.

  • Kim says:

    I get it. I too have had a pot belly since I came out my mother’s uterus. It is the one thing that always reminds me that I’m not as attractive as I could be. Always. I also have enormous breasts and this last baby (five months ago) only made them bigger. I wear a bra at all times and although I probably have enough fat around me to support the weight I can completely understand the pain you are suffering. Good for you and I’m glad you posted about it.

  • Alyssa says:

    As so many have posted before me said and I agree.. Fuck the haters. You are doing this for you and you alone. If you wanted to get a freaking ear attached to the tip of your nose, so you can listen to your steak moo while you eat it, then do it because you want to do it. Most children have to grow into their ears or feet and I (because I am always the exception to the rule, as my family says) grew into my boobs. By the time I was in 6th grade I was poping out of a D cup. So now at almost 30 and although I have never had kids my boobs are saggy and have no.. strechy tissue I guess?.. to hold them up. So while the professional booby/bra finding lady says I have a FF cup, because of the sagtasticness of my boobs and my tiny band size, not only do I look like I have a C cup, they pull down and hurt my shoulders and neck muscles as well. Add that to the heritaty of shoulder and neck problems and I can understand your pain all to well. So tummy or titties.. either way, if you come out in the end looking how you wanted and feeling better then it’s worth it.

  • Paula says:

    No hating or judgment from here! I’m proud of you for doing something to help YOU. Moms always put everyone else first and themselves on the back burner. Doing this to help yourself feel better will help your whole family. I’ll be praying for your recovery next week!

  • Laura says:

    You know what’s bullshit? Pain is bullshit.

    You know what else is bullshit? That the internet seems to give assholes license to be assholes. Screw those bastards.

    I hope your surgery goes well and that you recover quickly and get your ass back on the internet where you belong.

  • Kelly says:

    Good for you. Sorry the insurance people are a-holes about the tatas though….

    Here’s to a surgery with no complications and a quick recovery!

    And to anyone that has a problem with it? They can suck it.

  • Anna says:

    Thanks to losing my gall bladder, all my weight is in my belly no matter what I do. And if I had more than $12.73 (I just checked) in my checking account, I’d be your surgery buddy and do it too.

    At the end of the day if you aren’t happy with yourself, then who (or what) are you happy with?

  • Sarah says:

    After having my twins, I had the separation of stomach muscles happen. And mine isn’t “bad” according to the doc, so insurance won’t cover surgery to fix it. I’m stuck with my pain/issues, but am glad that you are getting things done to make yourself feel better about yourself. Good luck next Wednesday! Hope you have a speedy recovery!

  • Maria says:

    A) You are awesome and
    B) I am totally jealous.

    I want details on just how bad it was when it is done.

    We can barely afford the encessities so it’s a long way off for me. I’ve had 2 kids and my stomach looks like I had octuplets. I do not have elastic skin at all. 5′ tall on a tall day, my second baby was abotu 8 lbs and I got so big in the belleh people thought it was at least twins at 40w6d. I’m 105 lbs now, a little mroe than I was pre-preg, but the skin still hangs and the boobs sway. Blech.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      People with elastic skin make me SO jealous. And I’ll give you deets. No worries. But no before and after shots. I’ll cry.

      • Maria says:

        Like my mother-in-law who has made it a point several times to rub in that she got ZERO stretch marks? I should be allowed to slap people who tell me things like that.

        • mel says:

          HELL YA!!! After 2 kids, 7 years apart, I have more stretch marks than regular skin below my belly button! People who gloat about their lack of stretch marks can suck on Aunt Becky’s bowl of hot dick.

  • Maria says:

    OK now see? I commented a long-ish comment again and it isn’t here. What the hay?

  • sam says:

    Do what you need to do in order to feel better. The End.

  • Mel says:

    You know, if anyone gives you crap you can just use my Dad’s words of wisdom. Opinions are like assholes, we all got ‘em, but you don’t need to be one.

    Keep us posted!

  • Shawna says:

    Oh Boy! I never even noticed my belly until I got these shiny, perky, wonderful little boobs.
    The whole world consisted of boobs before my reduction, I didn’t even know I had knees. I envy your tummy-fix, I’m still tossing pennies in the piggy bank to pay for mine.
    Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for it, cause “If Momma ain’t happy, then NOBODY happy” (translation, you will be a better wife, mommy and all around happier person if you like what you see in the mirror)

  • good for you! our bodies are put through SO much with childbirth and the whole bit. kudos to you for doing something that can help you feel better mentally and physically. good luck to you and a speedy recovery!!

    also: I, too, get the upper back constant strain, chronic and recurring pain from heavy boobs thing. my dr. did not suggest a reduction but did give me a lot of exercises to do to strengthen the counter muscles in the upper back. not sure what you’ve already tried, but when you’re all healed up from the tummy ordeal, you might look into physical therapy rather than surgery. keep the girls intact, feel better… win win? (though to be clear, I’m not a surgery naysayer if that’s what it comes to!)

  • Heal quickly darlin’ you’re doing the right thing ;)

  • Amy says:

    Aunt Beck- Haters fuck up everything. And i also very much love to tell people to eat a hot bowl of dicks. When they deserve it, of course. A hot bowl of dicks isn’t the kind of thing one would dish up all willy-nilly. (HA!) Thank you for sharing your struggles with us. And I appreciate that you chose to do so knowing that some shitbird might come and lay some bullshit nonsense on here that might begin to cause you doubt or distress. I hope those assholes leave you alone and you receive nothing but love and support and relief. I also kind of hope we all get that, regardless of the specifics of each of our struggles.

  • I hope this is the key to helping you. I bet the weakness in your core is adding stress to your back, shoulders and neck. It makes sense, right? And finally after how ever many years… they’re TIRED. And protesting. I’m hoping this is the ticket.

    And as for the mean-spirited people… if they show up… direct them to the post I wrote last night. It’s all about women on women hate and criticism over the interwebs. And really? They can suck it. Be you. You’re awesome.

  • Juli says:

    Congratulations! I’m really excited for you…I’d looove a tummy tuck, and if I did that I’d go for the double whammy and get a breast augmentation too. I hope you have a quick recovery-and here’s a big fat mushroom print for the insurance company :) We’ll all be thinking of you!

  • amber says:

    I hope it helps. You’ve got to do what’s best for you – to hell with what the rest of the world thinks. If nothing else, you’ll get some good drugs and an excuse to lay around in bed for a while (I’m trying to put a good face on that surgery thing).

  • Tracie says:

    No judgment here. If I had the cash I’d look like a contestant on The Swan.

    Wishing you a speedy recovery and lots of help taking care of your kiddos during said recovery.

  • Gen says:

    Harumph. I won’t judge you for getting the surgery. But if I see you in Target with your three kids and your flat belly, I might. Because I will be SO FUCKING JEALOUS. I’ll be the one walking by with two kids, a huge belly sagging down to the ground and a huge ass Mocha to lift my spirits.

  • a says:

    I have a genetic pot belly. And a hernia. So, I say you shouldn’t do it, you selfish heathen! You should pack up all that money and send it to me, so I can do it! ;)

    Actually, um, if you spend all your time hunched over to protect your intestines from busting through your abdominal wall, it may be contributing to the problem. Maybe being able to strengthen your core, and thus maintain better posture, will help with the neck spasms and migraines. It’s a complex system – who knows? Then maybe you could retain your porn breasts.

    Also, get on the phone and harass your insurance company for coverage every day. Write letters (you like to write, don’t you?). Write letters for your doctors to sign. Annoy them until they agree just to shut you up. (Also, give your benefits handbook a thorough read…it always helps to throw their own words back at them. And your plastic surgeon may not know their exact specs on what determines an adequate amount of tissue, so try to find that out too.)

    Good luck, Aunt Becky. I hope this helps. And I hope you can get your un-boob job soon (with insurance coverage!)

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      Maybe our pot bellies should hang out. And yeah, my core? FUCKED. Heh. That sounded rad.

      • Maria too says:

        “a” is seconded. Write, and read.
        Your migrain pain doc, and your chiropractor, and your tummy hole sealing doc, and everyone you meet, should list the reasons for this *medical* breast reduction.
        It’s certainly not *cosmetic*, it just happens to be made by a plastic surgeon.
        Can a Swedish prankster help in any way?

        • Your Aunt Becky
          Twitter: mommywantsvodka
          says:

          You can just make me laugh. That’s good enough for me.

          Getting the augmentation is next on my list. AFTER I stalk my insurance company. They won’t know what hit them. Heh.

  • Sarah says:

    Hey Becky! Omg, I am sooo jealous! I wouldn’t worry about what anyone says about a tummy-tuck! Soooo many women get them, I don’t see anyone getting on you about doing it also :) I really want to have one done, but I just had my first child 10 months ago, and the weight is yet to come off…and although I can’t see myself having ANOTHER baby….you never know how you are gonna feel in a few years..sigh. :) Sooo, I guess it’s to the gym I go.
    Good luck with the surgery lady, Take before and after pics! You will be amazed wit the results a year from now! :D

  • Hey, you do what you need to do to take care of yourself. Your health is the most important. Screw what the haters. Your Pranksters gotcha yo back!

    Lots of hugs and a speedy recovery!

  • melanie says:

    good luck and speedy recovery… no hate coming from me (more like envy of the pocketbook variety–would love to have some work done)!

  • SassyPantsV says:

    Tell the asshats of the world where they can put their comments. I applaud you for being honest and doing what is best for your body and sanity.

  • Val says:

    To be all motherly, are you going to have someone come and help you once you get home? Relative, trained monkey, whatever. That is a slow surgery to recover from. :-(

  • YOU make the choices for your own life. No one else. YOU do what’s best for you. Best of luck with everything! ~~Marie

  • Bitter Betty says:

    Go for it Aunt Becky! I want to hear all about it too since I plan on having the same thing after number 2 is born! Screw the negative assholes!

  • Bitter Betty says:

    Go for it Aunt Becky! I want to hear all about it too since I plan on having the same thing after number 2 is born! Screw the negative assholes!

  • Lauren says:

    Fuck the haters! You do whatever the fuck you want to do, Aunt Becky! I think it’s great that you’re doing something for yourself.

  • Holly B says:

    You know what? Fuck the mole people. You do what you need to do to feel good both inside and out and to hell with what people think! More power to you. Positive thoughts coming your way.

  • Sara R. says:

    Good for you! Take Aunt Becky back! Good luck, and I hope it goes smoothly and easily for you!

  • Leo Thompson says:

    Dude, I feel ya, about the tummy thing. Ever since I had my daughter, those last 15 lbs refuse to leave my body. In short, if I push my abdomen together from the sides, it looks like a giant wrinkly ass. I hate it and wish soooo much that I could afford some plastic surgery on that thing. Cause excersising and diet? DOESN’T DO SHIT aside from making me a little healthier. Wishing you the best of luck.

  • Camille says:

    My mantra for life. What ever is standing in the way of your health or well being – and if there is any way possible to correct it – then you go fix that mother fucker. I don’t give a good god-damn what anyone else thinks or says. That’s it sweetie. You go get that surgery and start to feel better soon. You’re in my prayers.

  • Kristin
    Twitter: dragondream
    says:

    Becky, if it makes you happy, it makes me happy. Hope the surgery goes smoothly, the recovery is speedy, and you are 100% soon.

    Love you chica.

  • Just Jenn says:

    I will be praying for you, Aunt Becky!

    If any asshole wants to attack you, send them my way, and The Royals and I will have a field day with them!

    ? your face!!

  • KPMRSE says:

    Let me be another to echo the “fuck the haters” sentiment. Good for you for taking care of business! A tummy tuck and boob job are already on the agenda as soon as I’m finished with this pregnancy and subsequent breast feeding. It won’t come soon enough for me, and I’m not going it for any reason other than an attempt to get my pre-kids mid 20s body back.

    Best wishes for a speedy recovery, pain free days and a hotter bod to boot!

  • Maggy says:

    Fuck the haters is right! Are you kidding me???? I would kill for a flat belly. Please include me in the “Inherited Pot Belly Party.” I will bring the drinks. I also know the joys of the migraines – since the age of 4. Unfortunately I cannot blame my large rack on them. Although that would have been pretty damn funny to see in pre-school. I bet naptime would have been totally different. Good luck and here’s to an easy recovery.

  • Caron says:

    Just be happy and get well quickly! You rock.

  • Anjali says:

    Best of luck with the surgery!

    I think that’s terrible that you can’t get the boob reduction. So, your insurance company would rather pay for years of migraine meds? And chiropractor visits? And whatever else pain you endure?

    Assholes.

  • Chantel says:

    Do what you need to do for yourself. Vanity, health or otherwise. It’s your body! Fuck the naysayers!

  • You’ve got to do what is best for you, and screw the rest. Best of luck with the surgery and the recovery!

    Any chance of before and after pictures?

  • Barbara says:

    Who cares what anyone else thinks? If it’s going to make you happy, do it.

  • Choleesa says:

    You do what you gotta do Aunt Becky!!!!
    If it makes you happier and with less pain, then more power to you.

  • I am so sorry to hear about your health issue. You will be in my prayers and I hope for a speedy recovery. What an awful thing for that person to say that. I would be happy to tie their dick in a knot for you. People are ASSHOLES!

  • Deidra says:

    Good luck! :) Hope all goes well and you feel better soon!

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  • Julie says:

    Good luck, you’ll be happy that you did it. I had a pot belly no matter how great and in shape I was, and forked over the cash in my mid-twenties for liposuction. Best decision ever.

    Unfortunately, baby #2 weighed in at 10lbs, and left me with that lovely excess skin fold that makes me ill to look at. YUCK! I’m so on my way to a tummy tuck as soon as I can stash the cash.

    Good for you!

  • Regina says:

    Shit, if I had money, that would be the first thing I do. Fuck people who want to tell you you’re wrong- let them get their own blog. Best of luck, and heal well.

  • Jen says:

    Life is way to damn short to live it in pain. If there is a chance this will help then you have every right in the world to do it. Even if it was purely cosmetic if it will make you a happier person then F all the naysayers. I wish you a speedy recovery! xoxo

  • Fox says:

    Ummm….I didn’t read all the comments but I imagine a few of them would be something along: What the fuck would anyone give you grief over a abdominoplasty for??
    If you’re core muscles are shot that will fuck up your back forever! (Example: ME). Get it fixed and take care of yourself! (Having rage blackout just for the thought of anyone giving you shit about this GRRRRRRRRRR!)

  • Lisa says:

    Hey Aunt Becky! I am a new prankster and couldn’t be more thrilled for you. There are several surgeries I would have if given the chance, even though others would look at me like I was crazy – they can all suck it . . . HARD.
    BTW – I agree with the poster that said if you still need the reduction, to harass your insurance company and get your docs to write letters (copy everything to you.)You might also try getting a lawyer to help you write a couple of “fuck you insurance company” letters. My dad is an ambulance chaser (one of the good guys) and sometimes just a little force is needed to get those assholes to pay up. Like when they didn’t want to pay my baby’s NICU bill. Don’t get me started . . .
    Swift recovery sweetie!!

  • mumma boo says:

    Good luck, love! I’m glad you’re taking care of yourself and hope that this goes a long way in helping with the muscle spasms and migraines. Holler loud if you need anything – we’ll come running.

  • TheBeerLady
    Twitter: TheBeerLady
    says:

    Wow, most everyone has always said it so eloquently, but I’m just dying to say this to the internet, so fuck the haters! (Heh heh…I dropped an f-bomb on the whole internet. I am so cool.) Life is full of assholes who feel that it’s their duty to rain on your parade. They seem to congregate in vast numbers on the internet and revel in the ability to take an anonymous shit on total strangers.

    But for every one of those assholes that shows up, just remember that there’s a dozen people who are cheering for you and will support you no matter what. Even if you want to follow one of the earlier suggestions and have an ear attached to the end of your nose. Your friends will be here to suggest running to the mall to get that bad boy triple pierced.

  • Bren says:

    Hey – girl – it’s your bod – do what you want and screw ‘em all who say you shouldn’t. They’re probably all jealous and shit…..

    Talk to your insurance company before you give up on your breast reduction. With your history of treatment for resultant problems, they very well MAY approve the procedure. Don’t just go on the doc’s say so…. Present all your documentation and have at ‘em.

  • AuntieEmBabes says:

    Recover fast!! Hope to HELL that this helps you. We’re all here for support and lurvs.

    P to the S. I’ve now read every single word on this site, where is my gloriously tacky bedazzled prize and or autographed picture of your beautiful kisser?

  • Kelley says:

    One of the things I most love about your blog is you tell it like it is…with humor…with compassion. Thanks for sharing about your surgery. May all go perfectly for you!

  • Amanda says:

    Okay, honestly?! WTF! Why would people feel like they have the right to talk about YOUR body?! Whether its for medical reasons or the fact that you just have the right to feel good in your own skin. It’s no ones business. My mom has had 4 c-sections….my fault since I weighed 10 pounds 8 ounces and she just couldn’t fit a size 8 in size 2 jeans. Ya feel me? Anywho since then she’s had to birth my siblings via c-section as well. I would pretty much do anything to be able to help her get her tummy back. She lost 150 lbs and looks great but has LOTS of scar tissue and extra skin. You do you Aunt Becky! Congrats!! I’m so happy for you. You’re proof that GOOD things happen to GOOD people..:-)

  • Janet M says:

    I just got home from a regular appointment with my pain management doctor and told my husband how much I want to do a breast reduction so I can reduce the six to eight vicodin I take daily. On top of a torn rotator cuff and three bulging disk, I wear a size 42H bra…I say do whatever you need/want and fuck whoever doesn’t like it!

  • Patti says:

    I had a tummy tuck done in 2003. While it was the most difficult surgery I’ve ever had done and the recuperation was tough, it was truly the best thing I have ever done for myself.

    I felt healthier, back pain was gone and you know what? Fitting back into size 10 jeans made me feel like a million bucks.

    Go for it!!!!!!!

    xoxoxoxoxo Patti

  • This is about the time where I wish I lived closer so I could help you out for a couple of days with the kids, dinner, whatever. Good luck, my friend! You’re gorgeous as it is, but I hope this helps you feel even better physically and emotionally! xoxo.

  • Alicia says:

    You rock on girl!! You do what makes YOU feel better!!! I think once the surgery is compete and you have recovered you will be amazed at how awesome you feel! Pain and depression go hand and hand. So once the pain gone the depression should be gone as well!!

    Who cares what other people say! Take care of you!
    Xo!

  • CatPS says:

    I have what my husband lovingly refers to as “The Pouch.” Mom & Grams have The Pouch too… hooray for genetics. It’s just a flabby spot right below my bellybutton that has always been there, even when I was SKINNY. So, I feel your pain, and I’m here to say YOU GO GIRL for getting your surgerizing on! As soon as I’ve popped out my own brood, I’ll be doing the exact same thing!

  • Andra says:

    What the fuck? I dont, for the life of me, get why the insurance companies are so willing to pay for trip after trip to the Urgent Care, and for the drugs, that obviously are not helping, but the bastards wont pay for the root cause. What a bunch of dicks.

    I think that you having this surgery is awesome! Ok, and, I might be jealous. But since we are trying (for 8 years now… ) to get pregnant again, I think it would be pointless for me, at this time. But still, jealous. I hate the stretch marks and extra skin from my first pregnancy. I gained over 100 pounds. Everything from the neck down has stretch marks….. grrrr….

    The internet mole people ( I dont think those ignorant bastards deserve the capitalization) can go fuck off… Anyone who is going to put you down for making this choice, doesnt count…. Its YOUR choice. It isnt affecting them….. bastards….

  • Jenn says:

    I say “You go Girl!” To hell with anyone who doesn’t like it. It’s YOUR body. I have the same problem with my tummy after an emergency C/S. I went to an F cup when I was pregnant. Had been a D since I was 12. I have full plans for a tummy tuck and reduction on my 40th birthday as a gift to myself for the same painful reasons you do. I hope all goes well with your surgery, and that you FINALLY get some relief.

  • MXW says:

    I grew up with a mother who suffers incredible daily pain. (No doubt at least partially related to her own three “crotch parasites”, one of those being yours truly.) Shortly after I was born, she developed agonizing neck spasms that were greatly worsened by an accident she was in at work. Funnily enough, she’s also a nurse.

    I’ve grown up actually being accustomed to the sound of my own mother screaming in pain and there being absolutely nothing I can do about it. She’s also seen multiple doctors, tried pain relievers, physical therapy, acupuncture, heat/cold, and TENS units. Nothing has helped, and this last year to go with her fabulous neck pain, she developed herniated disc lower in her back that is now causing her incredible sciatica pain as well. Cue more agonizing screams I can’t do anything about.

    Basically, I completely agree with you that screw what anyone says. If there is a chance you can resolve this pain and go back to living your life, you do whatever it takes. I have definitely seen the alternative, and it’s not pretty. Good luck!

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      Your poor mother. And you, you poor thing. I really worry that my children are going to grow up seeing me in pain like this. I’m so afraid of what I’m doing to them.

  • Katie G says:

    hey babe, it’s all you! As long as The Daver is supportive, who cares if anyone else does? Also, I’ve recently heard that Botox can help with migraines. I don’t suffer from them (thankfully) so I haven’t looked into it, but you might check that out and see if there’s any truth to that.

  • Melanie says:

    Aunt Becky, you are the fucking bomb.com. Just so you know. Shiny, good, happy karma your way.

  • katrina says:

    Fuck the insurance companies…THEY get to decide what is medically necessary…fuck ‘em and serve ‘em a hot bowl of dicks. And fuck the haters! They are just small stupid people not worthy of your attention. Just focus on you and positive healing thoughts….I’m hoping this helps your pain and that you have an easy recovery. If i didn’t live in oregon i’d be over there in a heartbeat to help with your munchkins.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      I wish you were closer. Mostly because you’d be here cracking my shit up.

      • katrina says:

        FUCK YEAH!!
        Also, I am still really mad about this and i need to know, who said that you are proof that bad things happen to bad people….??? They are a waste of space and breath…God, let me at them!! I can make that a self-fulfilling prophecy when i bash their tiny brains in….

        • Your Aunt Becky
          Twitter: mommywantsvodka
          says:

          Bwahahahaha! She’s a fuckbag. She was pissed about something I said about my puppy back in the day. Asshole. Also: deleted her comment. Because really, who needs that filth?

  • Jeannine says:

    I think you’re wonderful Aunt Becky!
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery

    The internet mole people can go suck a couple hairy nuts.

  • I hear you on the pot belly thing. I have been asked when I am due for many years. Even before I had children. Not cool. I have, however, used it to my advantage a few times. Cutting in bathroom lines, seats on buses, etc. I figure if they are going to be rude and presumptuous enough to say something I can deal with the guilt of peeing first.

    Good luck with your surgery. Hopefully it will fix you all up and I will be following you in a few years.

  • beenthere says:

    Dearest Aunt Becky,

    Thank you for your bravery and your honesty about what you are doing and why– I know people who have actually had the same things done and then moved when “horror” someone found out. Seriously. Anyway, I wish you the best doctors, the best nurses, and the easiest recovery possible for this procedure. Know that if I were your nurse, I would feel honored to be a part of your care, and though I do my best to give my all to every patient, I would make sure you had EVERY DAMN THING you needed.

    Here’s to a speedy recovery and results that make you happy!!

    Much love,

    Beenthere

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      People can be horrible sometimes. It’s bad. NORMALLY, my Mole People attack me about my dog. Why? WHOTHEFUCKKNOWS.

      I wish you were my nurse. Seriously. I’m terrified of going to this hospital. I’ve had abysmal care in their Mother/Baby unit. But this is Med/Surg. Or, as I like to call it, the Ass/Butts floor.

  • Samantha says:

    Please, please, please, please, please post before-and-after pictures!!!!!

    I want one too, when I’m done having kids.

  • beta dad says:

    Good luck, lady! Who would have the audacity to judge you for getting a tummy tuck. My wife talks about doing it too (full-term twins in a 100 lb. frame), and I’m all for it if it makes her feel better about herself.

    There must be a way you can increase your boob size to the extent that there is enough excess tissue to satisfy the insurance stooges. An eating rampage? A discount Tijuana breast enhancement? Both? Both my sisters got reductions on the government’s tab when my dad was in the army, and it made life much better for them. I hope your upcoming surgery is the magic bullet though. Maybe you can lose the pain and keep the rack.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      Bwahahahahahaha!

      I think the insurance companies are going to rue the day I realized their corporate offices were in Chicago. HEH.

      Anyway. People can be judgey-McAsswads about these things. I’m just waiting. It’s all good. If your wife wants to talk about it with someone who has done it, let me know.

  • A bowl of hot dicks. Holy shit I love you!
    As for the surgery…good for you. I pray with all my heart that it provides the relief from the pain that you need & deserve. Because, girl…if anyone deserves it, it is you. Fucking Internet Moles be damned!

  • tracy says:

    you go get tucked and screw the internet mole people. you KNOW you’re better than them. and bravo for your honesty ~ you’re awesome.

    xoxo

  • Halala Mama says:

    R.I.P. Ginormous Rack. Hello better days!

  • melinda says:

    I’m jealous. I had a ceserean and two pregnancies after that stretched me in such a way that I have a permanent ledge that makes me look like a freak…say goodbye to anything but granny panties.

  • You forgot the shout-out to “OMG YOU ARE GOING TO GET SEPSIS AND DIE ON THE TABLE IT HAPPENED TO MY COUSIN” crowd.

    Go for yours, Aunt Becky. I wish you a smooth procedure and a quick recovery.

  • Kat says:

    It’s your body and your health. You have to do what you can to take care of it.

  • KaraB says:

    Go on with your bad self Aunt Becky!! I have the pot belly too, even when I was all athletic and shit, waaay back in the day. I’m thinking of naming mine, since it sure as hell isn’t going anywhere! Congrats on teh surgery, I hope it goes swimmingly!

  • Dang. Looks like we’ll need to start calling you HOT Aunt Becky from now on.

  • Dang. Looks like we’ll need to start calling you HOT Aunt Becky from now on.

  • Tammy says:

    Saying prayers for an uneventful surgery and recovery as quick and painless as possible.

    I had 2 c-sections 19 months apart… my abs are a mess. I would have a tummy tuck in a minute if we could afford it. Apparently depression, lack of self-esteem, and general unhappiness with appearance are not enough reasons for insurance to cover even a fraction of the cost. My husband, bless him, loves me and accepts me and finds me sexy as I am, and my kids think I am pretty… I’d still have surgery if I could…

  • Ms. Moon says:

    Why would you even CARE what people have to say about this matter? Do you what you need to, girl.
    Seriously.

  • Katya says:

    Your honesty and bravery in talking about all of this seriously inspires me and makes me feel a tad bit stronger.

    I will be sending happy healthy vibes to you from the Northwest throughout this ordeal and hoping your recovery goes smoothly.

    ***HUGS***

  • MannyRee says:

    No hating here, Aunt Beck, other than the jealous kind. Well, surgery is a bummer, flat tummy, though…it’s been awhile. Hoping you have a quick recovery!

  • Lauren says:

    I know the feeling of being constantly unwell and feeling pathetic and broken because of it.

    Fuck the haters (not literally, vaginas are too good for haters) and do what you want. I hope the abdominoplasty works and makes you heaps healthier and happier and unpainful, and I hope it helps you with your pot belly too :)

    Good luck babe!

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  • Mwa says:

    Well, I say go you! I went into my first pregnancy telling my husband I WOULD have surgery to fix stuff if I didn’t like the way I came out. I reckon it’s just a repair job, and you’re perfectly entitled. It is about your health, dammit. Good luck in the hospital and see you back here soon!

  • Sarah P says:

    OK. WHAT? So, all these back and shoulder problems could be because of my weakened core muscles from my gigantic twin children?!

    Maybe I’m an idiot, but I never actually thought of that. This is a revelation.

    I wish you the best! The surgery will go well, and hopefully, it will take care of your pain. (Also, bikini WHAT?)

  • JennJenn says:

    Aaahhhh… you should come to South Africa – apparently it’s cheaper to fly out here for a holiday, get your plastic surgery, and fly back home than to have the op there!!!

    HOWEVER… I earn Rands so I’m still saving for my boob op – I was ‘blessed’ with an ironing board! I’d like a leettllleee bit more padding, thanks… like something that fits in a B cup.

  • it’s your body, you don’t have to explain anything to anyone! I love your last sentence “And to the person who said that I am proof that bad things happen to bad people? You can eat a bowl of hot dicks, baby.”
    really :) I almost fell out of my chair laughing, that was the best thing I have read in weeks, best of luck!

  • Melissa the Librarian says:

    You do what you need to do to be healthier and happier. Good luck. You know your Pranksters support and love you. And to the person who told you you’re proof that bad things happen to bad people, I’d like to see their band of loyal pranksters. What a bullshit thing to say.

  • JJ says:

    Good luck and heal well. The haters should shut their traps. People need to be able to do whatever they need to do to get through life.
    Sending love!

  • Roccie says:

    $50 says you get hopped up on meds and ask for a third tit.

  • Sara Breeggemann says:

    I had a reduction after finished nursing my last & it was the best thing I’ve ever done! I would do it over & over again, if needed. I wish I had gotten the abdominalplasty too, as I also suffer from “The Gut”. Good for you & I can’t wait to hear how it turns out! You’ll feel like a whole new woman. :)

  • Dora says:

    Hey, hon. Really hope this helps with the ‘graines. They are BULLSHIT! Hope your recovery is easy and being in that hospital isn’t too traumatic. I would have Amelia stay with me while you recover, except I live too far away, and, as much as I love her, Amelia kind of scares me. :-O

    As for the boob job, have the chiro, etc. document the hell out of your back, shoulder, and neck pain. The botox idea is not a bad one. I had it done a couple of times years ago with some success. In addition to the shoulder trigger points, they should inject the base of your skull. Good times.

  • TeDiouS says:

    I really, truly hope that this surgery helps you with your muscle spasms and pain. This is coming from someone who understands. In a big way.

    I have had severe chronic pain for fifteen years now, with intermittent pain almost my entire life before that. At this point, i have no recollection of what a day without pain is like. I take morphine and fentanyl just to be functional, just to not be screaming my throat bloody in a corner somewhere. It in no way takes the pain away. Ever. Not for a second. If there was a surgery i could have that would give me even a one percent chance of having the pain go away one day a week…? I would be jumping all over that, no matter what else anyone thought. So you go for it.

    Also….if you want to talk about it, want to spill your guts to someone who has been through the pain and understands, I am here. I may not be able to make the pain better, but i might be able to help with some coping mechanisms. Or just let you talk to someone else who knows where you are and gets the frustration and the tiredness that comes along with being in pain every day. Email me (I assume that as the site owner you can see my email addy)if you want an ear and a shoulder. My shoulders aren’t much good after eight surgeries, but they still work for that. ;o)

  • Alison says:

    I really hope the surgery helps you! I used to suffer migraines all the time and they SUCK. Hard. Also, Mole People gonna mole. I like your attitude towards them. Good luck!

  • Kacey says:

    I really hope it helps, migraines suck.

  • Kacey says:

    I really hope it helps, migraines suck.

  • Delicia says:

    I echo the sentiments expressed in earlier comments. I hope all goes well with the surgery, and it helps with the pain. If you get back into bikini shape too, then that’s a bonus! I’m trying NOT to be jealous because frankly I wouldn’t want the daily migraines/constant pain you’ve been going through (nor would I wish it on anyone, I’m sorry hon :( ). Insurance companies can suck it.

  • All Adither says:

    Woo-hoo! That’s so exciting and definitely a big move. I’m so sorry about all the pain you’ve had to suffer. That sounds absolutely horrendous. I have been reading lately about how removing belly fat can improve a person’s overall health, so that’s good news.

    I’m a Blogher blogger, too. But I also work part time for a website called http://www.RealSelf.com. If you’d consider it, wander on over and post your story. You’ll get tons of support and be able to read lots of other women’s tummy tuck stories too.

    Good luck! Truly. I’ll be back to check in on you. :)

  • Nancy P says:

    Not sure if anyone has mentioned this but if you are going to be in the hospital overnight…well god bless those nurses… :)

    Seriously I hope your pain gets a good ass kicking right out of there.

    I say next Wednesday the whole damn internet wishes you best of luck.

  • Emily says:

    AW Aunt Becky…. you poor girl. Fuck the haters. It’s YOUR body and this is a decision that is right for YOU and your life. Hope you are pain free, and it takes a lot to write a post like this and put yourself out there. But you’ll fuck the haters. You’re AUNT BECKY, BITCH.

    Can I come over and bring lots of bacon while you sit on your ass and watch John C. Mayer videos?

  • Wombat Central
    Twitter: wombatcentral
    says:

    I’ll be thinking of you next Wed when you go get your fab new bikini belleh. ;) Wishing you minimal pain and maximum Uncrustables for your recovery.

  • Christa says:

    I am a bit behind and playing catch up. But yes, the internet mole trolls do love to throw your medical problems up in your face. Just like so many people are anti-fertility treatment and don’t think you should discuss such things.

    Best of luck and a speedy recovery!

  • Allison says:

    Fuck the haters. You don’t need a reason to spend your money (or use your health insurance) to make you happier with your body. I wish you a speedy recovery with no compliations!

  • OK, I am dying to hear how this works out for you. I read this post and it was like reading about ME. I suffer from terrible migraines, as well as the back spasms quite regularly. I take Topomax daily, and Imitrex when I get a migraine (which seems like ALL THE FREAKIN’ TIME) and I ended up quitting the chiropractor because my insurance quit paying for it this year. I have to wait until after January 1st to start going again.

    I have a Dr. appointment on Nov 3rd to get everything checked out… but I’m wondering if you and I just kindred sisters, baby.

  • Beth
    Twitter: star_momma
    says:

    As a fellow chick who has a gut no matter how much weight she loses (my mom’s the same way – she’ll look pregnant before she ever looks like her legs have gained an ounce), my only actual question is what tummy tucks run these days. lol

  • Lauren says:

    The most important thing is that you will feel better! Rock it out!

  • Katen says:

    You will be miserable for about 2 weeks. But I can tell you I had the same surgery and it has been 8 months! Best thing I ever did! Just know everyday gets a little easier.

  • bashtree says:

    knowing nothing of abdominoplasty – will it repair your core muscles? because if so…once you’re all recovered and HOTT and all, won’t a strengthened core help with the weight distribution problems? i speak in theory, of course, because mine are Ds and not DDs so I only have to go to the chiro every other week to keep functioning. seriously though, i can relate to debilitating pain. not to the migraines part, but the pain…oh my goodness, i am so sorry you’ve had to live with that, and for so long.

  • Maria says:

    I’m realising that I’m focusing on the future (boobs!) and not the issue at hand… But anyway, a question. Have you had a fitting session for boobie traps? Perhaps getting a really heavy duty, top fit bra could help you support your chesticles even better, and relieve some strain on back and neck muscles? And do send the bill to insurance company…

  • Emthe says:

    Haters gonna hate… and be stupid. They can’t help it. It’s the law. The asshole police will come arrest them if they’re not asshole-y enough. And I’m pretty sure assholes have a quota they have to fill. It’s like a factory. 200 mean comments a day… or else. I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason you get trolled, because Aunt Becky is full of the awesome and so is your decision to get this procedure done. For every asshole comment you receive, I hope there are hundreds of Pranksters writing in with comments full of rainbow-farting unicorns. Love, Emthe

  • Cynthia says:

    I don’t have any rug rats to blame my belly on, I just like to eat! I don’t eat junk either, but the belly has still appeared like magic, YIKES, where did that come from. I guess age does stuff to your body. I wish I had the money, time, and nerve to get both of these done. You go girl! I hope you have some help with the kid-o’s lined up for the first week out of the hospital. You are going to need the rest. If I lived close I would come and gossip and watch bad TV with ya! Heal quick and post pictures to inspire the rest of us with the belly!

  • PAIN SUCKS!

    Do what ya’ gotta do, Aunt Becky. You’ll make the right decision for you!

  • andygirl says:

    I am so sorry I am just now commenting. I’ve been sans computer (and thus, an insane woman).

    babycakes, good luck with your surgery! any surgery is scary, but I’ll be sending good thoughts your way.

    much love!

  • GingerB says:

    Damn, I like blinked for a day and all hell breaks loose. I fantacise about the breat reduction and tuck, but I must first lose my extra weight. I only don’t just go for it because of the child lifting required. What the hell are you going to do with getting kids in car seats and such?? Is the Daver taking time off to care for you? I want an answer . . .

  • Shelli says:

    Since I’m late to the game, I think you’ve probably already had the surgery, so I hope you are recovering well. As for the breast reduction…get a second opinion and a third and more until you get one who can figure out how to get the insurance company to pay for the damned thing. Someone should know how to rig the system.

  • Kendra says:

    I’ve been overwhelmed lately and am just now getting to reading this. Just wanted to take a second to offer you my support. Too far away to baby-sit without a plane ticket, but I know how important this is to you, physically and emotionally. I hope everything goes just beautifully and can’t wait to hear about the results. Here’s to life with less pain.

  • Kate says:

    I say GO GIRL!!! You do what YOU need to do, and I will send you all the lovin you can handle. PS Leg humping is optional.

  • Think you will like this series of posts by someone who had a tummy tuck

    http://maijasmommymoments.com/category/tummy-tuck/

  • amy d says:

    I think it’s an incredibly brave decision to have this surgery. It is always scary to go under the knife, but in the end you WILL be fine and and you WILL feel better.

    My thoughts and prayers will be with you on Wednesday honey. All my best!

    Oh, and BTW….love that extra snark at the end. Classic Aunt Becky;)

  • mommymae says:

    more power to you for having the balls to do it. i had twins & 2 more after that, so i could use a bit of a tuck, but i’m too freaked out about it. i can’t wait to see your fab abs.

    bitch.

    ;)

  • Mariposita_Obsidiana says:

    Aunt Becky, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a breast reduction. My 20 year old cousin is getting one in January. She prayed for breasts daily as a child, and, well, God played a joke on her. Her petite, 5’2″ frame developed 34E breasts. She has to have special bras, and the weight of her breasts (combined with a spinal birth defect) causes her to slump over like an old woman.

    I’d totally get a breast reduction and lift. Also, I am a big girl, and I have this little roll in the skin of my upper arms that make me feel the same way you do about your tummy. If I ever got cosmetic surgery of any sort, it would be to fix that. Nevermind the fact I’m big, I’d just like to be able to wear something sleeveless without wanting to cry (I DO NOT wear sleeveless ANYTHING, btw; or those cute little cap sleeves, or basically anything that doesn’t have sleeves down to the elbow). I bought sleeves to attach to my perfectly beautiful wedding dress because I can’t stand the thought of people staring at my hideous arms as I walk down the aisle.

    While I’m not advocating that ANYONE go all Heidi Montag, I see nothing wrong with fixing something that causes health problems or body dismorphia issues (if it’s something that’s truly an issue—some people see a freckle as a reason to lob off half of their nose). I think it’s admirable that you’re not only doing something to improve your health (let’s face it, tatas are just swinging fat bags anyway), but you’re finally doing something that might help your body image. We can all use a boost once in a while.

    Now if you come out looking like Heidi Montag, I might just have to cut a bitch.

  • I know I’m super late the the party and you’ve already had your surgery, but I just wanted to tell you that I am proud of you for posting this, Becky. I can imagine how hard it may have been, but just know that you have sooooo much love and support.

    I’m thinking of you and wish you a speedy recovery!

    Lots of love!!
    XOX

  • tash says:

    So, serves me right, I had to scroll way the hell down to find out what on earth surgery you were talkin’ bout. And I say: this is why god invented anaesthesia and the scalpel, and godbless. I wish you speedy recovery, and really hope that you lose the pain.

    You know, prior to having any babies, you know, back when I was tiny and my skin was taut (everywhere), I thought cosmetic surgery was for people with self-worth image problems. One baby later, and I was contemplating a boob job when I was done. I am still seriously contemplating. I brought this up with my husband last year, and said “What would you think about a boob job for my 45th birthday?” and he responded, “YOUR birthday?? Hell, let’s do it for MY Birthday!!!” I love this man.

    Anyway, I don’t care if you got rid of the pooch for pride or pain, no judgment here. I hate that fucking thing. Take pix of the new you when you’re up to it! xo

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