I was watching some Law and Order: These Kids Have It Worse Than You, So Man The Fuck Up, Aunt Becky when the holiday commercial with the Hershey’s Kisses came on. I’m sure you know it. It’s been on since I was a kid and I haven’t been a kid in a long time.
You have to know the one I’m talking about: the red and green and silver kisses play, We Wish You A Merry Christmas. It’s really sweet and festive and it always makes me happy in the pants and not because I’m all that fond of chocolate. Because while I do have a vagina, I’m not someone who orgasms at the thought of chocolate. Dexter, however…but alas, I digress.
But I sat and watched the commercial and realized how UN-happy the holidays were making me this year. I’m the last person under twelve who loves the holidays and I was sitting there on the couch moping about Christmas. The happiest time of the motherfucking year.
I couldn’t even tell you why I was moping. Certainly I had no REAL reasons to be feeling acutely sorry for myself. Of course there are things that have gone wrong for me in the past couple of weeks, but there are more things that have gone right.
So I did what I always do: I promptly bitch-slapped myself. It was time to trim my fucking tree, deck the halls and be merry and bright. If I had to use toothpicks and elaborate putty makeup to do it, I was going to slap a smile on my face and fake it ’til I made it.
I love the holidays. It’s time to start acting like it.
So here’s what I’m going to do.
FIRST, I’m going to give you a video of my daughter. Laughing. I captured the Elusive Frat Boy Amelia cracking her own ass up. It’ll make you laugh. In under two minutes, she’ll make you laugh. (ignore the crap on her face. We weren’t planning to shoot a video)
She’s my clone. I swear, I was doing the same thing a couple of weeks ago.
NOW, I’m going to add a Mr. Linky at the bottom where YOU can add a link to your own post about something that made you laugh or smile. You don’t have a post like that? WRITE IT. In fact? Why not write a new one? Write about something that makes you happy. If you don’t have a blog? Leave a comment. Write it on Band Back Together or Mushroom Printing. They’re both user-submitted blogs.
Let’s FLING GLITTER and be MERRY! Tomorrow, we’ll continue our blog carnival. Why? WHY NOT.
Don’t make me send Amelia over to fart on you. She totally will, you know.
P.S. All of my shirts (including the Shut Your Whore Mouth Shirts and everything else on the site) are 20% off with the code holiday2010.