You know what we don’t talk about enough here on Mommy Wants Vodka (I used the Royal “we” here, Pranksters, meaning YOU)? Love songs. Mostly because the greatest love I feel is for the Hamster Dance video and bacon cheeseburgers.

But I am here to tell you that this! This is simply untrue. Your Favorite Aunt Becky DOES know how to feel love! Why, the other day, I looked at the most beautiful sunset and thought, “Mmmm. That looks like cotton candy. Now I’m hungry.”

And then, because I was listening to my iPod, a love song came on. Can you believe I own a song about love? I can’t. Nonetheless, I was stunned. The love song and the sunset nearly had me doubled over, barfing, and yet, no, I stood watching it.

So I figured, it’s time for a list of Love Songs That Don’t Suck. You can play along at home, Pranksters.

1) Behold A Lady – Andre 3000. I really have to say that I loved the song a lot more when Andre 3000 wasn’t like humping his personal trainer, but you know, the song is totally sweet. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH, I CAN LIKE SWEET SHIT.

2) Bob Dylan’s – To Ramona (as sung by Sinead Lohen). Now, I’m not 100% certain this is a love song but it is probably my favorite song ever. Even more than the theme from Facts of Life. I probably shouldn’t mention that my dad sang me to sleep with this song every night and I sing my daughter to sleep with it too, because that makes it a little less romantical, but you know, when do I lie to you, Pranksters?

3) The Pretenders – “I’ll Stand By You” (as sung by Glee Cast). Okay. So this song? My television husband, Dexter, will totally sing this to me at our made-for-television wedding. I don’t care if he can’t ACTUALLY sing because I will be to busy kissing his feet. This song? The most romantical I know.

4) The Black Keys – Everlasting Light. I may just love this song because it makes me forget my migraines for awhile, but it also makes me happy in the pants.

5) The Rolling Stones – Let It Bleed. Like I could include a list of songs WITHOUT The Stones. That would be like macaroni WITHOUT the cheese.

6) G-Love and Special Sauce – Love. Dude. It’s called LOVE. What more can you ask for?
(I’d actually considered using Booty Call instead)

7) Michael Franti & Spearhead – Say Hey (I Love You). It’s not just because I heard this song first on Weeds during a fucking FLASH MOB, but the song? It’s cheerful. Like, you’ll probably fall in love with the person next to you when you watch it. So be careful.

8 ) I forget what 8 was for.

9) Journey – Faithfully (as performed by Glee Cast). Okay. If you don’t love this song, I will punch you in the teeth.

10) Cake – Love You Madly. Only the coolest song ever. You should probably marry it.

————-

Your turn, Pranksters. Gimmie some good love songs.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

47 Responses to I’ll Have To Say I Love You In A Blog

  • Kori says:

    There goes a beautiful friendship-because I HATE that goddamned Journey song so much that when I hear it-no matter WHO sings it-I want to punch my OWN self in the teeth. Just sayin.

  • I love you for the #8 reference. I didn’t love you until then. But now, I’m like, all in love with you and shit.

    My fave love songs: Otis Redding, That’s How Strong My Love Is. Band Of Horses, Nobody’s Gonna Love You. And of course THIS ONE: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRb1h989_jk

  • Beth – KISS
    Love Will Keep Us Alive – Eagles
    Why Don’t We Get Drunk – Jimmy Buffet <– A Love song from a different point of view.

    I'm not gonna judge your songs – DON'T YOU JUDGE MINE! ;-)

  • ewokmama
    Twitter: ewokmama
    says:

    There are so many…
    * Let’s Never Stop Falling in Love – Pink Martini (this song was in that terrible movie Mr & Mrs Smith – it played while they were shooting at eachother in the kitchen. It’s a fantastic song!)
    * Come Away With Me – Norah Jones
    * Open Arms – Journey (everyone has to have a Journey song)
    * I’m Stickin’ With You – Velvet Underground
    * Hey There Delilah – Plain White T’s
    * When You Say Nothing – Alison Krauss
    * Someone Like You – Adele

    There are more but I can’t think!

  • FireMom says:

    Originally by the Moldy Peaches, but this is the only one whose video does suck (from Juno, obviously). Sappy AND funny is always the best.

  • Missy says:

    I love your style aunt Becky. I fell in love with you all over again.

    Now I think you should make your own videos for each of these with cats shooting lasers out their eyes at each other in the heart – cause obvs.

  • Kathy Miranda says:

    OK folks, the list is eclectic, here you go …. “Shameless” by Garth Brooks (written by Billy Joel). “At Last” by Etta James. “You Belong With Me” by Taylor Swift.

  • Emma says:

    Erm- wherever you will go by the calling??
    Iris by the goo goo dolls??
    I miss you by incubus??
    Closer by Nine Inch Nails? ;)
    (well, maybe not the last one…)

  • Anna says:

    #8 made me laugh so hard and M&M popped out of my mouth. Thank you.

  • Choosy says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gs3fg_WsEg

    Dancing in the Mine fields/ andrew peterson

    Funny because I don’t like country or folk and I am not christian.
    But I love this song.
    Love this song.

    It’s a perfect song for older married couples. Old love. Not new love.
    Something wonderful there.

  • AngstyJen says:

    How about “Crazy Love” by Van Morrison? Or “How Sweet it is to be Loved By You,” the James Taylor version.

  • adelita says:

    Light outside – Wakey!Wakey!
    First day of my life – Bright Eyes

  • The Real Tuesday Weld – Last Words

  • leighana says:

    Rob Thomas’ cover of Time After Time…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuxCOjoFp7Y

  • nicole says:

    The Book of Love – Peter Gabriel version. A far cry from the songs I swooned over in my teens, but a better fit for how I view love after several bouts in the ring with it.

  • Christa says:

    “I believe in a Thing Called Love” by The Darkness.

    What can I say? I love the Deep V.

  • TheBeerLady
    Twitter: TheBeerLady
    says:

    OK, as much as I hate to admit it, my list is heavy on the power ballads. SO not cool, but hey, everyone needs their guilty pleasures, right? Yes, “Faithfully” is one of them. But even better, Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home,” Bon Jovi “I’ll Be There for You,” Cheap Trick “The Flame.”

    Oh, and Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight.” Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.” Peter Frampton singing “Baby, I Love Your Way” makes me weak in the knees, and of course, the King himself, Elvis – “I Can’t Help Falling In Love.”

    I’m such a goober.

  • Stand by me- The temptations

    And of course my other fav-
    the whisper song by the ying yang twins
    Because nothing says love like a song backed up by the melody of a creaking mattress!

  • Andrea says:

    Hmmm..I was a little choked up when I thought of the Pretenders song, then blown away when you blasphemed by rooting for the Glee version. Then again, I found the great song by Keane, “Somewhere only we know” after seeing it on American Idol, so I really can’t throw stones! “Thank you” by Led Zeppelin gets a nod too!

  • steph gas
    Twitter: stephgas
    says:

    well, my wedding song was ‘in your eyes’ by peter gabriel, so i really dig that one. but probably by favorites are ‘you’re my home’ by billy joel, ‘eternal flame’ by the bangles, and ‘hopeless case’ by less than jake. i know, a ska band? but really – the lyrics are just perfect.

  • KaraB says:

    I had never heard the Ramona song before, it’s so pretty! I love the song, La La Love You by the Pixies, it’s adorable and makes me want to hug everyone.

  • Karen says:

    Glad you had the Michael Franti song listed! Not many people know about him and he’s a great artist! That is a great song too and he has a lot of other great tunes too. “Sound of Sunshine” is a great album from start to finish.

  • Marta
    Twitter: marta28
    says:

    I too love me some Andre 3000.

    I know exactly which Weeds episode you’re referring to.

    I’m struggling to come up with good love songs.

    My favorite: Kissing You by Des’ree which I discovered on the Romeo and Juliet Soundtrack. Spotify it bitch.

    (lovingly yours)

  • Kim says:

    Love you Madly is fantastic! The Fragile and We’re in This Together Now by Nine Inch Nails. (Seriously. If I ever get hitched, my first dance will be to NIN, and no I’m not wearing black eyeliner or nail polish). The Luckiest by Ben Folds is also in my top 5.

  • Stacey says:

    Yay, Cake made your list! I love that song. I (gently) demanded it be played at some point during our wedding reception. I swear no one else there had ever heard it before. Obviously they’re missing out.

  • Tracie
    Twitter: fromtracie
    says:

    My mom sung me to sleep every night with Where Have All the Flowers Gone…because there is nothing like tombstones, dead soldiers and grieving girls to bring on the sweet dreams.

    I’ll Stand By You is probably the most romantic song ever.

  • LOVE HEY Ya…and I love you.

    But, best love song of all time?

    Cheap Trick “I will be the flame.”

    Go on, youtube it and see: that song comes on and every bra strap in America comes undone.

  • Suzanne says:

    Aunt Becky-
    You never cease to amaze me and this list just proves your awesomeness. May I just say you rock and can “Kiss Off!”

  • Cristi Comes says:

    LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD ;)

  • Tracy says:

    The song we danced to at our wedding was “Is this love” by Bob Marley. Sweet song.

  • Dr. Cynicism says:

    I’m a sucker for the 80s, so one of my favs just has to be “Your Love” by The Outfield. I know – super cheese factor.

  • chrisinphx says:

    Louise Hoffsten’s “Love To You” is one of my favs and Morning Wood’s “Take off Your Clothes”
    is another. However, I say the WORLDS.GREATEST.LOVE.SONG. is Nine in Nails “Closer”

  • Leonard Cohen’s “I’m your Man” I think it’s really the sexiest song ever. Here’s the lyrics
    (Imagine it in his deep rumbley, very masculine voice, please):
    If you want a lover
    I’ll do anything you ask me to
    And if you want another kind of love
    I’ll wear a mask for you
    If you want a partner
    Take my hand
    Or if you want to strike me down in anger
    Here I stand
    I’m your man

    If you want a boxer
    I will step into the ring for you
    And if you want a doctor
    I’ll examine every inch of you
    If you want a driver
    Climb inside
    Or if you want to take me for a ride
    You know you can
    I’m your man

    Ah, the moon’s too bright
    The chain’s too tight
    The beast won’t go to sleep
    I’ve been runnin’ through, these promises to you
    That I made and I could not keep
    [From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/l/leonard-cohen-lyrics/i_m-your-man-lyrics.html ]
    Ah but a man never got a woman back
    Not by beggin’ on his knees
    Or I’d crawl to you baby
    And I’d fall at your feet
    And I’d howl at your beauty
    Like a dog in heat
    And I’d claw at your heart
    And I’d tear at your sheet
    I’d say please
    I’m your man

    And if you’ve got to sleep
    A moment on the road
    I will steer for you
    And if you want to work the street alone
    I’ll disappear for you
    If you want a father for your child
    Or only wanna walk with me a while
    Across the sand
    I’m your man

  • Satan says:

    i love “Say Hey (i love you)” like my own heart!
    good one.

    although i have to add:
    “Babe, you turn me on” by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds.
    trust me.
    look it up, you won’t be sorry!

  • Andrea says:

    Oh Aunt Becky, your song list makes me want to hump your leg. Especially #8. I already have a giant song list running through my brain, but I will just list a couple. “Shelter” by Ray LaMontagne, and “Lover Lay Down,” Dave Matthews Band (I know, your favorite band, right? ha)

  • CycleNinja says:

    I still think “I remember you” by Skid Row is the best power ballad possible.

    Well, maybe “The Lumberjack” by Jackyl. Anyone remember them?

  • Aubrey says:

    Ok, I have seen every Glee ever, Or at least I thought I did. How did I miss “I’ll Stand By You” I love that song, I particularly enjoy Carrie Underwoods version. Also Glees rendition of Faithfully is my ringtone. i <3 me some Journey. Do you know I once tried out to be the lead singer in a Journey coverband. It was probably the coolest thing I have ever done. I had visions of me wearing shirts that said "I Am the Band" or "In the Band" Sadly I didn't make it. But at least my dreams of being with the band have come true thanks to you! I wear my band shirt with pride. Also I love you Aunt Becky!

  • Allie says:

    I would like to first applaud your Violent Femmes shoutout. Also, Speak Now by Taylor Swift makes me all teenager weepy.

  • Caroline says:

    Harry Connick Jr. – It had to be you (from “when Harry met Sally”) and
    Ben E. King – Stand by me (if you forget the fact that it’s supposed to be spiritual) BECAUSE….they sound awesome when sang in the shower. espacially that part: “oh darling, DARLING staaaaaaaaand by me, staaaaaaaand by me” (shampoo bottle or stick loofa highly recommanded for optimal effect)

  • Gunfighter says:

    Je t’aime moi non plus – Serger Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin.

    Serious stuff from 1969.

  • Gunfighter says:

    Ahem… that would be Serge Gainsbourg.

  • HeatherS says:

    Our wedding song (back in the year 2000) was Into the Night by Benny Mardones. My husband played it for long before we were married, still back in high school and it because our song instantly. AB, I love that you love the Stones…I started seeing them (doubtingly) with my husband when I was in college and have seen 5 outstanding shows since! Wish they had plans to tour again soon. Other great love songs not named here: Girlfriend by Matthew Sweet, You Don’t Bring Me Flowers by Neil Diamond and Barbara Streisand and I Need Love by LL Cool J from back in the day….the first rap love song and his voice makes me swoon!

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