The Internet is always closed on major holidays, so I didn’t bother posting for the three spambots that would be trolling to send me links to supposed pictures of “Harry Potter nude” and “David Cook nude.” But not doing so totally kicked my OCD into hyperdrive, and I felt sort of like I was missing my right arm for most of the weekend.

Therefore, I am presenting to you, my beloved Pranksters, a new set of cards (if these images are yours and you want me to remove them, please holler). Because really, how better to say the things that you’d never want to say, that through a card you would never send?

(don’t answer that)

I’ll be back tomorrow with a post with words. I’m far too self-absorbed to stay quiet for very long.

(blah, blah, blah, if you want to vote for me for funniest blog which, btw, I am TOTALLY not rocking right now, you can vote right here, once per day)

Happy Fourth of July, my Pranksters.

37 thoughts on “I Think It Was The Fourth Of July

  1. Your form gives me the autofill option of “Alex” or “Eugene O’Neill.” I would have gone with E.O’N. But I have enough identity issues already.

    These cards are as American as it gets and make me happy as I freeze in a corner of a strip-mall Panera. And if your OCD didn’t make you needlepoint these designs into throw pillows you’re okay.

  2. You don’t have to take breaks for major holidays if it hurts that much – there are lots of Canuck pranksters (Canucksters?) who are on the internet – all three of us – and are always keen to read your latest missive. Even if you didn’t make cards for Canada Day.

        1. I’m a friend of Canada as well. You might also enjoy the song “A Speculative Fiction,” by Canadian band Propagandhi. It imagines if Canada took back the land lost in the War of 1812. ;-P

  3. Hello, holidays are when most of us have time to read your blog (while not pretending to do work) so please, feel free to post any day, any time. Or maybe I’m just weird like that. I dunno.

  4. YO! Missed you, glad you are back. Love the cards–i’m stealin ’em. so is it BBQ, beer and explosives at your house today??

  5. OMG Aunt Becky, these are exactly what I needed today! LOL
    Jim’s 30th birthday would have been today (well, technically, it still IS, he’s just not going to turn 30 here on Earth) and if he were alive I totally would have just emailed him the link to this page instead of buying him some cheesy birthday card. These would have done perfectly.
    Thank you! 🙂 You rock!

  6. These cards Kick ASS!! (just like America) Thanks for entertaining me while I wait for the morning to pass so I can drink beer and eat grilled meats.

  7. Based on the above comments, I’m going to have to say that your spam bots are pretty literate, not at all what I’d expected…. 🙂

    Love the cards.

  8. I just found your blog last week, so thank you for the procrastination tool…my house didn’t need cleaned anyway, and at least some of the kids can feed themselves.

    You are awesome and totally invited for the Fourth.

  9. I vote for you HARD! 2 votes a day. Work an home.

    That said, in my hissy fit I got rid of my BlogHer tickets, and they are really hard to come by! So if someone has an extra, please contact me! I dont need hotel since I live here.

  10. Hey Aunt Becky –
    I done went and got me a blog. Now I just have to find someone to make me a webpage (Hi Daver. You are looking very handsome today). Still selling Scentsy ( and now actually selling cross stitch as well (maainly birth announcements).
    But what I wrote to tell you (besides how muscular the Daver has been looking is that miss you. Well I do. But the big news is that my little vicious pitt bull is a therapy dog – he has a vest and everything. Look for us at a hospital near you – um, once you come to Texas.
    I have a blog now – y’all can go comment. And once that handsome manly Daver puts it on my own domain I’ll be able to hang with the cool kids – well me and my dog will.

  11. I can’t edit my spelling mistakes. Crap. Now everyone knows how stupid I am and I thought it was only most of you.
    I will pay you the Daver. The next time one of you is in the hospital I’ll bring the therapy dog!! That means I am driving from TX to IL so it counts. Hey would you mind being the one in the hospital so Aunt Becky and I can go out? Oh, and watch the dog will you – because he is a CERTIFIED pet therapy dog.

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