Today is a landmark day for us at Casa de la Sausage. It is my husband, The Daver’s 30th birthday.

I give Dave an awfully hard time, really I do, like how I’ve called him Old Balls since we got together 5 years ago (he is, after all 2 years older than me), how I constantly feel the need to grab his ball-bag as he sits on the couch next to me, or how I scream out things like “Hey Dave, weren’t you out of DEPENDS?” or “Hey DAVE, didn’t you want that New Kids On The Block CD?” when we’re out in public.

(Hel-LO run-on sentence!)

But as anyone who truly knows me knows, the harder time I give you, the more I love you. It’d be my family mantra if having a family mantra or mission statement wasn’t the stupidest thing on the planet aside from perhaps The Wiggles. Which may be dumber.

So, Happy Birthday, The Daver.

I’d say something cornier, but I’m saving it up for our anniversary on Wednesday. Good idea, you, with putting our anniversary right near your birthday, ensuring that you will never forget the day that two became one. Yeah, that’s right. I used THE SPICE GIRLS to describe our WEDDING.



Also today, at 12:30 my son Ben will be “thinking good thoughts” for me as I go into my Big Scary Ultrasound. All by my lonesome. That’s the kicker at my OB’s office: you have to go through the first (i.e. frightening) part of it all alone (it’s policy, not because I bring an entourage with me).

My mother has been making fun of me (along with The Daver) for being so worried about this US (and the one’s I had with the other kids) and I think my friend Andria said it best when she told me yesterday something like with her third, she couldn’t believe that after two perfect little boys, that she’d be fortunate enough to have another healthy one.

I’m paraphrasing, perhaps badly, but the point is clear: like her, I don’t believe I’m lucky enough to have something good happen to me again.

Why? I have no idea. It’s sick and it’s stupid, and as yet another friend of mine, Carlynn, imparted yet another piece of wisdom onto me this weekend (they make me feel SMRT). She said, “”Why not be happy now? You can be sad later. If it’s necessary.”

They’re both right. And while I’m going to try my best to smile and appear like I’m not ready to chew off one or both of my arms, it’s gonna be hard.

Fake it ’til you make it, right?

Will you hold my hand, Internet?

42 thoughts on “I Can Haz Ativan?

  1. Good luck today, Becky. I’m sure everything will go well, at least until the tech presses too hard on your full bladder and you accidentally pee on the table, of course.

  2. I’ll be with you in mind and spirit, I know THE FEAR, I hope you walk out with nothing but good news to share about our little McBecky:)

  3. my GOD that post was aweful. You get it though right?? I need more coffee. Here it is again…I will be here waiting on the anouncement of a baby GIRL.

  4. honey, i am the queen of faking it and as a fellow female you must at least be able to fake fakin it…
    sending all sorts of good thoughts your way that the sausage is simmering along nicely.

  5. Good luck. Your friend is right. Why worry when there’s nothing to worry about (yet)? We can’t control anything anyway, so be happy for now. And I am hoping you are still happy later today.

  6. as I am sure there will be MANY people offering to hold your hand, I will be practical and hold your purse.
    It is going to be wonderful. I insist.
    Thinking of you already & beaming the universe instructions to take care of you.

  7. I guess this would be an inappropriate time to smear peanut butter on my hand before we commence hand holding, huh?

    Enjoy the eloquence of your other friends, ’cause all I can do is laugh and say, “Huh huh, she said balls.”

  8. I am holding your hand and praying this morning Dear Aunt Becky. I get it, I so get it. But I love the advice to be happy while you can and be sad later if you have to. Very practical. Hard, but practical.
    Happy birthday to the Daver! And happy Anniversary for Wednesday as well, I am thinking I won’t be around to wish you that on Wednesday. I hope to be completely wrapped up in my baby boy.
    Love ya,

  9. holding your hand… you are probably on your way to the office right now…

    and happy birthday, the daver. my hubby is 9 years older than me, and I’m not nearly as hard on him. Well, usually. 😉

  10. Happy birthday, Daver, and many happy returns!

    Meanwhile, Aunt Becky, I’m with you in spirit.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who really, truly does understand how you feel)

  11. I love the ‘Old Balls’ montage. I have a friend who told me that the dried apricots I was eating looked like old man balls. Did she seriously think that would make me stop eating them?

    Anyway, best of luck on the u/s! I’m sure you and the little processed meat product will be fine!

  12. Good luck, although you don’t need it because you’ll do just fine.

    And I love that you refer to your husband as Old Balls. Although I like the term Coin Purse a little better.

  13. let us know how it goes…which I am sure you will and everything will be great!

    also- happy birthday Old Balls.

    that one made me snortle a little

  14. Happy Birthday Daver! I hope you don’t lose the bet. Maybe… 🙂

    I see you pulled the same thing we did. Our anniversary is tomorrow, just 5 days before M.’s birthday.

  15. Good luck! And happy birthday, Daver. I’m so excited for you; I hope you rush back here and write all about your healthy little sausage. I’ll keep checking back!

  16. Did you feel the squeeze I sent? Here’s another one for you in case you didn’t. *SQUEEZE*

    Happy Birthday, Daver, you old man. Which, if 30 is old, then I’m heading towards ancient. 🙂

  17. Well, I’m late, as usual, so it sounds as if things went well and we’re having a girl. Just as I suspected. So, I’ll say happy birthday, Old Balls, and happy anniversary in case I forget.

  18. So so glad to know little baby is healthy. I bet you feel great, and you SHOULD! Pink? Did I hear someone say pink booties this time??

    I wish you well my sweet.

    miss you so

  19. Hey you. Been thinking about you lots. (In the scraaaaaaaaape on your bathroom window at 1am kind of way.)
    Happy birthday to Dave!
    It is 100% normal to feel that way. My doctor told me that (in her experience) women who have had healthy kids are MORE likely to be worried about subsequent births than women who have not had healthy babies/pregnancies. Because the women who have had bad experiences think, “What are the odds something bad will happen AGAIN?!” and women who have had good experiences think, “I can’t get lucky ALL the time.”

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