Mommy Wants Vodka

…Or A Mail-Order Bride



Before I was fortunate enough to meet The Daver, I tended to be attracted to and date guys that were Smugly Superior. Honestly, in Becky-Land, that’s an characteristic of people I’d date: dudes who were Full Of The Rightness. Didn’t matter about what. Didn’t matter whether or not I was more schooled in whatever it was they were trying to argue with me about. They Were Right. And if They Were Right, then I Was Wrong.

If I were to remark on the lovely sky blue pink sunset (incidentally, my favorite color on the planet), each and every one of them would somehow come up with a way that the color of the sky was actually, Becky, green. (I may be colorblind, but I am positive I’ve not seen a green sky).

I’d mention that I happened to like that new Britney Spears song only to be shot down (sadly, not in a blaze of glory) about how stupid and vapid pop music was, and how what I really should be listening to is Peter Gabriel.

But nowhere was my Wrongness more clearly illustrated than in the selection of movies.

I’m not much of a movie person, this much is damn certain. I don’t know different producers, I don’t know geeky facts about obscure movies, and I only know actors because I enjoy nothing more than some time with a good gossip rag. And what’s even more offensive to some is that I DON’T EVEN CARE.

That’s right, my friends, I don’t care about movies.

My tastes run from fluffy to action movies, and at no point in time do I ever enjoy watching hard-to-find foreign films, no matter how many nekkid boobies I get to see. I’ll watch the same movie multiple times (although never in a row) and not be the slightest bit put off if I know how it ends.

I don’t need to watch a movie to feel sad about the world or to make me think and question my system of beliefs. I don’t generally want to feel like slitting my wrists after seeing a movie, I absolutely refuse to think about what the character was thinking after I’ve seen it, and I can think no more suicide inducing thought than to have to talk about the movie ad nauseum once I’ve seen it. I’ll never get most movie references without a clue-in from someone, I’m okay with never debating which version of Romeo and Juliet is best (Oliva Hussey vs. Leo DiCaprio?), and you’d probably never want to play trivia games with me. I’m oblivious at best.

I guess I like my movies like I like my one-night stands: quick, to the point, and without need to revisit them.

But my Haughty Group Of Boyfriends would insist that I did actually like movies, and in that vein, they’d drag me off to the movie store to pick up the newest French movie. Without a care that it was not subtitled and that neither of us spoke a lick of French. On the days without a Movie Agenda, I’d wander around the store while they scoured the racks, and my suggestions to rent Weekend At Bernie’s 2 were always shot down.

It’s probably safe to say that for about 10 years, I never picked out a movie to watch by myself, which sounds far more depressing than it should. When I’d say I didn’t care, it’s because I truly didn’t give a shit. Sometimes I’d sit and watch movies with my boyfriend, other times, I’d take off and do something else.

The only lasting impression that I have of the whole situation is a general dislike for sitting around and watching movies. A handful of times a year, I have an urge to watch this or that with The Daver, but overall, it’s with much teeth gnashing and nail sharpening that I agree to do so. I prefer to do pretty much anything else: watch TV, play solitaire on the computer, read books.

And I can’t really say for certain that my Smugly Superior ex’s are really and truly to blame for any of the dislike I feel, who knows if that’s the case or not?

What I do know is this: every time I tell someone this omission, I’m met with an almost unanimous “You don’t like MOVIES?” and a subsequent eye-rolling so loud that I can practically hear the pop.

So what do people scoff at that you dislike that most people do not? I know I’ve previously mentioned my hatred of all things sandwich, but I’m curious (and I have a short attention span) as to how universal this reaction is.

posted under It's Becky, Bitch
42 Comments to


  1. On September 22nd, 2008 at 5:25 pm Ginger Magnolia Says:

    How DARE you?!?!?! Just kidding. I love movies, but that’s just me. I usually find that the ones that are supposed to be “life-changing” or make you “think” are terribly BORING (see: Brokeback Mountain). Plus, I love stupid movies that high school boys usually like (see: Spaceballs, American Pie). Who knows why.

  2. On September 22nd, 2008 at 5:47 pm erin Says:

    i am like you in a sense but more so with music, i like and listen to anything & everything (country included, no harsh words on that please) but please don’t ask me the artisit, the song title or any particular lyric from said song, i probably will miss the reference, the joke or your entire point. but to answer your question, i don’t know what i dislike that people “scoff” at, i tend to find its more what i like that gets that reaction, see country music above!!

  3. On September 22nd, 2008 at 5:51 pm Jessica Says:

    I’m right there with you. However, for me it’s TV. We own a TV and pay for TV(which we’re canceling next month at the end of our contract), but we never watch TV. Movies, yes, TV, never.

    People at work can not understand how we don’t watch TV; I don’t understand how people have time to watch TV. There’s just not much on that I’m interested in wasting time with. Of course, some people get very offend that I don’t watch TV, that I can’t gossip about the latest episodes. Oh well.


  4. On September 22nd, 2008 at 5:54 pm Sarah Says:

    What Erin said, about what people scoff at me for. I’m just so damned inclusive, apparently.

    Small dogs maybe? I’m just always concerned that I’d throw one out an open window. Or a closed one. I don’t care how cute they are… and I don’t think the dislike is based in fear. *snort*

    Can’t stand the ridiculous creatures. My family seems to think owning one would be like having a cat and dog in the same tidy package… AND we could dress them up!! chimes in my 7 year old daughter. But whatever. Not on this mama’s watch.

  5. On September 22nd, 2008 at 6:46 pm SciFi Dad Says:

    In light of this new information, I believe we can no longer be friends. I’m sorry. It’s not me, it’s you.

  6. On September 22nd, 2008 at 6:58 pm Emily R Says:

    Movies, music, TV — I like them all, but I can totally do without. And have for a long time to make room for books and theater. Hey — maybe you’ve inspired another post.

  7. On September 22nd, 2008 at 7:25 pm Daddy Files Says:

    In the following order:

    1) “How can you not drink coffee??”
    2) “How can you listen to country music?”
    3) “What do you mean you’ve never seen It’s a Wonderful Life?”

    All very annoying.

  8. On September 22nd, 2008 at 7:28 pm Danielle Says:

    I’m afraid and ashamed to say this…politics *cringes* I’m sorry, but I can’t wrap my head around all the shit! Who’s lying, who isn’t..who said this who did what? Who cheated on’s worse then watching General Hospital…I believe I am too simple minded for such things. Ask me, however is some bitch’s purse is real or fake and I can totally tell you. *sigh* I know I know I KNOW!

  9. On September 22nd, 2008 at 7:32 pm The Milk Maid Says:

    I only seem to catch a movie in a theatre while heavilty pregnant. With Ava it was Cars. With Faith it was Titanic… with a 44oz Dr. Pepper (I made it to the 3 hour mark of 3 hrs 14 minutes total and said “damn the boat sinks any ways, I’m going to pee”. My ex said I ruined the movie for him). I can’t see diddling my time away with a movie. And I can’t sit still that long.

    I catch flack for not liking reggae too. Is that really that odd?

  10. On September 22nd, 2008 at 7:32 pm Anjali Says:

    Alright, this is what makes me a freak.

    I can do without movies, music, and all things television. Seriously. It’s only books and the internet that I care about. If someone were to shut down my Netflix, steal my TV, and render my car radio useless, I’d be fine. I don’t have an iPod or Tivo and never buy CDs.

  11. On September 22nd, 2008 at 7:58 pm elle michelle Says:

    I like movies and TV, but I immediately forget just about everything I see once it’s over. Why I still insist on watching these things is beyond me (actually it’s because I’m just THAT self-indulgent), but whatevs.

  12. On September 22nd, 2008 at 8:01 pm Ms. Moon Says:

    Football. Well, all sports in general. I live in an area eat UP with footballmania and in thirty-four years here, I have been to two football games and I hated both of them.
    I don’t really get patriotism either.
    Being born in one place or another is pretty random and nothing anyone can control for themselves.
    I think the sports-fan gene and the patriotism gene are one and the same and I’m just missing it.
    Please don’t send me hate mail.

  13. On September 22nd, 2008 at 8:06 pm Queen-sized funny bone Says:

    I like a good movie. But even if it is good I cannot watch it more than once. I know people ho watch over and over and even own them. Not me!

  14. On September 22nd, 2008 at 8:06 pm kat Says:

    1. coffee
    2. ice cream

    (i know!)

  15. On September 22nd, 2008 at 8:46 pm apathetic bliss Says:

    Well girlfriend…I was with you on the sandwich thing and again on the movie thing…it is not that I don’t like movies but really I just can’t be bothered with the trivia of it all…I watch movies only because they are playing reruns on the other channels or Myguy brought one home…and once again I am with you on the gossip rags, hells yes on US weekly…see we are practically separated at birth!

  16. On September 22nd, 2008 at 8:53 pm Holli Says:

    Dancing With The Stars. I think that is the dumbest show I’ve ever seen. When I tell people I don’t watch it they can’t believe me. I also hate Grey’s Anatomy. Stupid. I actually had someone ask me if I was even American, because to them those shows were as American as Apple Pie. I don’t get it.

  17. On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:01 pm Jenn Says:

    I also don’t like movies. I also have never watched, nor do I have the desire to watch, a single episode of American Idol.

  18. On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:02 pm mandy Says:

    I just want to say, I’m not a big fan of sandwiches either. I don’t even know that I have ever actually assmebled one for myself at home. Out on the town? I will eat it. (not now, on low carb though)

    Movies? I love foreign films, mostly because they are so different than anything you’ll get stateside. With two small kids, there isn’t much else we can do once the kids go to bed, so we watch a lot. I don’t care what they are. I hate picking them myself. I’ll watch most anything. I like scary ones, but am too much of a chicken to watch too many.

    I don’t know, if there was something I did or didn’t do that people would scoff at…I’m not sharing. I don’t really know though.

  19. On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:15 pm Petra Says:

    LOL, I tell ya. I am a movie lover, HOWEVER, even though I like “good” movies, I also enjoy puffy, happy movies and am not a big subtitle fan. Ultimately, I want to ENJOY my movie-going experience and don’t need it to be some deep, profound experience (although I have had some deep, profound experiences against my will).

    All I can hear in my head right now is “Welcome to Moviephone” in that guy’s deep voice.

    Was he one of your boyfriends? He sounds kinda pompous and self-righteous…

  20. On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:29 pm Heather P. Says:

    I totally despise Rap, Reggae, and Contemporary Christian.
    Pink Floyd-Seriously you have to be stoned or deaf to “get” that droning sound they male. My mom is deaf in one ear and she loves them.
    I have more, but you have given me new fodder for my blog!;0)

  21. On September 22nd, 2008 at 9:40 pm magpie Says:

    I’d rather read a book. Don’t get me wrong – there are some movies that I really really like. But generally? I’d rather read a book.

  22. On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:02 pm foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) Says:

    I think Daddy Files’ examples are precisely mine, even down to It’s A Wonderful Life!

  23. On September 22nd, 2008 at 10:12 pm heather Says:

    Soda. Diet, caffeine free, fully loaded, Sprite, Coke, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, whatever; it all tastes like piss tp me. Piss with a tiny ball of fire chasing it down. Blech. I’ve been nagged my whole life about it.

    I hate sports, too. Specifically football. And living in SEC land, graduating from a university in the SEC, and living in a college town makes this something to just be ashamed of, apparently.

  24. On September 22nd, 2008 at 11:27 pm LilSass Says:

    1. I’ve never seen Footloose, Flashdance or A Christmas Story
    2. I HATE bananas
    3. I HATE HATE HATE Disneyland and kind of, all things Disney when I think about. HE WAS A PEDOPHILE YOU GUYS!!

  25. On September 23rd, 2008 at 12:27 am Tanya Says:

    Whipping Cream, pudding, cooked apples, bananas… it’s all about the texture people… well the apples and bananas about the taste too.

    What I do like and people nag me about is the fact that I like my fruit very firm… some would say unripe.

    And hand washing. Yes, I counted the other day and in the hour and a bit from when I get up in the morning until I leave for work I washed 5 times (and had a shower). Whatever, if the worst thing anyone has to say about me is that I wash too much I’m okay with that.

  26. On September 23rd, 2008 at 12:50 am Heather Says:

    Wine, condiments (pretty much all of them gross me out) and seafood. Apparently I’m not much fun to invite over for dinner. 🙂

  27. On September 23rd, 2008 at 6:32 am Leanne Says:

    Love movies and all things sandwich, put it between two slices of bread and I’m there.

    I can’t stand reality TV, I’ve tried mostly because everyone can’t believe I don’t watch it, but it’s hopeless, everyone on screen seems to be an idiot. Seriously, if I want to watch people sleep at 2.00pm I can watch the kid take her nap.

  28. On September 23rd, 2008 at 6:58 am Michelle Says:

    I am with you on the movie thing. We have lived in our town for over 5 years and I just got a Blockbuster card last week, and only because my son wanted to see Indiana Jones. We have HBO and I can’t tell you the last time I even turned it on.
    I also do not like hard alcohol. Everyone loves a martini-but not me-I would barf immediatly!

  29. On September 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 am chris Says:

    I could careless if you line movies or not. I already like you before knowing that you hate the one thing I love in this world. But this is ok because people are more important than movies…he he he

  30. On September 23rd, 2008 at 8:42 am Ellie Says:

    Interesting. So many people say (pretend) they don’t watch tv, only movies. We don’t have tv, and we sometimes miss it, so end up watching clips on youtube, pretending it’s tv.

    But that’s not what you asked, is it?

    Ror me, it’s ketchup. I cannot for the life of me fathom how people — who have good taste buds and sophisticated palates — can eat that corn-syrup, red dye #12, all-crap stuff. And I am NOT quiet about it. 😉

  31. On September 23rd, 2008 at 8:50 am Stacey Says:

    I don’t like movies either – unless Harrison Ford is in them & even then I’ve missed more than a few.

    I don’t like onions. everyone says “You do’t like onions??? What do you eat???” Astoundingly enough you can actually just leave the onions out of whatever you are making and it still tastes just fine. And the onion police don’t come and arrest you either.

    I don’t like tomatoes either, see above.

  32. On September 23rd, 2008 at 9:11 am Marie Says:

    I don’t like to watch movies alone. I will watch with my son or husband but I will not pick out a movie and sit and watch it.

  33. On September 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 am heather Says:

    I absolutely LOVE movies. But I hate going to the theater. I rent them, or watch them on tv even if I have seen the same movie a hundred times. Movie theaters suck ass. I also don’t like pimento cheese spread. I’m not sure how rare that is, maybe no one likes it. Somebody must like it though, or they wouldn’t sell it.

  34. On September 23rd, 2008 at 9:41 am Pinhead Says:

    What Ms. Moon said, exactly, plus:
    1. mint
    2. carbonation in any form (yes, that includes water and champagne)
    3. auto racing
    4. those ottoman (upholstered) things that are supposed to double as coffee tables
    5. Beetle Bailey cartoons

  35. On September 23rd, 2008 at 11:32 am Rachel Says:

    I don’t care what anyone says….Weekend at Bernie’s (1 and 2) kicks ass. I love a stupidly hilarious movie any day.

  36. On September 23rd, 2008 at 11:39 am bee Says:

    I don’t give a red rat’s beehind about SEC football. And I think that might be considered a sin here in Alabama. It might be grounds for me to be banished.

  37. On September 23rd, 2008 at 12:32 pm Badass Geek Says:

    I know more about movies than I care to. I blame that on my wife.

  38. On September 23rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm momumo Says:

    love songs

  39. On September 23rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm Lola Says:

    I like movies, but I couldn’t win any trivia contests about them. They go in my eyes, maybe get a few laughs or tears, they end and that’s it. I’ll almost never get a movie reference either. Music, on the other hand, is my love!

    People don’t like to accept the fact that I do not enjoy reading books. They keep passing on books to me that they enjoyed, and I can start them but never finish even if I liked them. My job makes me read. I get paid to read more pages than anyone would care to, but people still keep on trying. I’m good for magazines, newspapers, blogs, but I almost never can sit down with a book. Too much of a commitment I guess.

    Oh, and people don’t understand why I loathe American Idol.

  40. On September 23rd, 2008 at 6:56 pm mumma boo Says:

    I always knew I liked you. 🙂 I have a love/hate relationship with movies – the ones I like, I really like. The rest I can do without. If it happens to be on TV and it sparks my interest, maybe I’ll rent it. But most likely I won’t. I’m considered abnormal because my life doesn’t revolve around American Idol, Dancing with the Has-beens, Grey’s Anatomy or Desperate Housewives. I’m canceling my subscription to TV Guide because they only write about the shows that I can’t stand. Oh, and I hate soda – except for ginger ale, and that’s only when I can’t keep anything else down.

  41. On September 24th, 2008 at 8:03 am Amanda Says:

    Well, I love movies, but Dr. Man can take them or leave them. As it happens the majority of people I know are mostly ambivalent about movies. However, they tend to love TV and I’m more of a take it or leave it (if it’s there I’ll watch, otherwise I’ll read or something). I can’t imagine anyone being aghast about disliking movies. Sandwiches I can understand 🙂

  42. On September 26th, 2008 at 9:52 am Candid Engineer Says:

    Oh, thank God, there is someone else out there who doesn’t like movies. Every time I tell someone that I don’t like movies, they appear as if they have been shot. I usually find them excessively boring, way too long, and way too expensive if you’re going to the theater. Also way too violent, way to stereotypical… etc, etc.

    Also, I don’t like chocolate. (I can hear the collective gasp now). It’s true. It’s just not my thing. I’d rather drown myself in cheese any day of the week.

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