Pranksters, we’re still pulling a John C. Mayer on the Internet and it’s beyond successful. Google John C. Mayer and look at the first couple of pages. Since we got the term “Pulling a John C. Mayer” in Urban Dictionary, the whole Pulling A John C. Mayer prank is spreading like crazy. So keep on pranking, Pranksters. We’re going to keep on keeping on. HILARIOUS.

@mommywantsvodka on Twitter if you are Pulling a John C. Mayer (also: whomever is running #Pulling A John C Mayer on Twitter is hilarious) so that I can add you to THAT list, and I’ll add more of your blogs to the list of people who have been John C Mayer-d.  Clicking those links are good for SEO. Also: if you have a Digg account (I’m Mommywantsvodka), try and go through and Digg all of the posts that have been submitted.

Okay, ONTO Go Ask John C. Mayer!

Go Ask John C Mayer

Go Ask John C. Mayer

Hi Aunt Becky- John C. Mayer,

Thank you so much for posting my question to you regarding how the hell you managed with a little one in the hospital, etc. I am overwhelmed with the outpouring of support, thoughts and prayers from you and your Pranksters. I really want everyone to know (and you, of course!) that I am truly, TRULY thankful for all of their love and support. I just can’t figure out how the hell to say it! So, “thank you!” to you and to them. You have all touched our hearts.

Also the blog is at:  prayersforjillian.blogspot.com

I did a happy dance when I got this email. Thank you Prankster for coming back! My Pranksters really are the best people on the Internet, aren’t they? Without them, I wouldn’t have made it through Amelia’s first weeks. That’s not a question. We’ll be praying for you, love, and your sweet baby Jillian.

We’d love to have you over at Band Back Together, too, if you’d like to share more over there. I think you’d really find a good home there.

Much love,

AB

Dear John C. Mayer,

I am a writer and a photographer. My first DSLR was stolen (maybe by John C. Mayer) around Christmas and my boyfriend bought me a new camera to replace it. I thought he understood that the photographs I take are not just pictures to me, they are things I create, that are part of me. They are my passion.

So, this past weekend, I took some photographs (not pictures, not snapshots, photographs) of his daughter’s birthday celebration. I have also taken photographs of his son at motor cross races this summer.

Monday morning I discover that the photographs I had taken of his children were now posted on his FB page – without giving any credit to me for them. Without asking me if he could use them. Without telling me he was using them. And without apology.

Now, I don’t care that he put them on his FB page. They are photographs of his children. I am not saying he needed my permission to use them. I would have had no problem with any of this at all if he had just given me a heads-up about it first.  My photographs; my camera.

He figures he bought the camera so he has unlimited access to the camera and everything on it without having to ask at all.  It’s his, he owns it since he paid for it. His exact text message?  “I don’t believe this shit. Fuck you. I don’t have to ask. Those were of me and my kids and again I paid for the damn thing.  Come get the rest of your shit.”

When I told him my photographs are like my writing to me, I create both, he told me “That’s just ridiculous.” I feel as if he’s calling me, my photography, and my writing all ridiculous and stupid. Now, I have no desire to ever pick up that camera ever again because he was so flip about it.

Then my blog, which I’ve had since before I met him, got brought up into it as well. He’s never said anything about it, but now apparently his “friends” are all offended at what I write about him on my blog.  So now, he’s taking that away from me as well.

My passions, my safe places, my creative outlets have been tarnished and violated and destroyed in my eyes.  I have no where to go.

Am I wrong here?  Did I overreact?  Help.

Oh Prankster, it’s hard when you feel like your safe haven is violated, which is how I feel whenever I get a internet mole person (until John C. Mayer and I tell them to shut their whore mouth), and that feeling isn’t fun.

Let me guess, your boyfriend is not a creative-type, is he? Because creative people, like John C. Mayer, might understand where you are coming from. But since he’s not creative like John C. Mayer, you’re probably not going to make him understand where you’re coming from. The best you may get is that he’ll never take your photos without asking again because that means something to you.

And if you never want to use the camera again, well, that’s your call.

It’s hard, Prankster, to get over that violation of your creative space feeling whenever it happens, but you have a few options:

a) get a new blog to write on. Sure, it’s annoying to change URL’s and be all stealthy, but you know, if knowing people who are upset with what you write are reading you prevents you from writing, that’s that.

2) Go password protected. Pass out the password to your readers and John C. Mayer ahead of time and there you have your space! Peachy!

5-9er) Pull An Aunt Becky (John C. Mayer) and realize that haters be hatin’ and sooner or later, you have to come to terms with the fact that people who actually know you (versus anonymous internet mole people) and dislike you will read your blog and think mean things about you while they read it. They make even *gasp* MOCK you while they read it, but never, ever John C. Mayer, because he is a gentleman. You get used to it, I promise.

c) Let them win and stop all creative endeavors forever and ever.

John C. Mayer and I wish you luck, Prankster.

Dear Aunt Becky, John C. Mayer,

Six years ago I went through a Very Bad breakup with my high school sweetheart during our first semester of college. His parents decided that we weren’t going to be together anymore and yanked him out of the college we were both attending to send him to a different one.  We tried to stay in touch for a while, but it just went downhill from there.  It was truly one of the darkest periods of my life (my whole identity had become wrapped up in him and us).  Shortly after breaking up with him, I met my (now) husband.  We’ve been married for two and a half years, more or less happily (thanks, recession!).

I just found out that The Ex is back at the college for grad school.  I’m still local and I actually spotted him yesterday (he didn’t see me)(I’m not a stalker, he was walking away from the restaurant we were eating at)(shut up).

So basically, I’m still pretty fucked up about how the whole breakup went down.

I’m in therapy, but practically, what do I do?  I’m not sure I can take the whole “you may bump into him” every time we go into town, living not knowing how that encounter will go (my money’s on Not Well).  Should I get in touch with him just so it’s not a surprise to anyone?  I don’t know if he knows I’m still around.  How do I not make my husband crazy by being all stupid about my ex showing up?

Thanks,
Totally Not a Stalker (Promise)

Oh Prankster, I think we all have The One That Got Away, like John C. Mayer, don’t we?

I even have the outfit picked out (a vinyl catsuit!) that I’ll be wearing when I happen to run into him! I’ll be dressed as Cat Woman, which John C. Mayer likes, and he’ll be dressed like a homeless person. In all actuality, when I run into him, I’ll be wearing track pants and a ratty t-shirt and fresh from the gym so that I’ll smell like I just rolled in dog poo.

I may actually be mistaken for dog poo by other piles of dog poo.

He’ll probably be wearing an Armani tux. Like John C Mayer!

But the thing is, I’m not actually hung up on it. I’m genuinely over it and I don’t give a shit what I look like when I run into him. Unlike, of course, John C. Mayer.

It sounds like you have unresolved issues that you need to address with your past relationship and I think you need to take a hard look at what you hope to accomplish by reaching out to him. What’s the best case scenario? And the worst? I’m all for pulling out the skeletons in your closet and making them dance, but John C. Mayer and I want to make sure that you’re not setting yourself up for some major problems in your present.

Talk to your therapist and explain that you have unresolved issues. You don’t need to be skulking around and hiding from your ex, but you do need to be ready, I absolutely agree. And your husband needs to be ready, too. Your husband is your future and with the help of your therapist, and your husband, I’d bet that you can come up with a game plan.

Maybe reaching out first is a good idea, but not without those two completely aware of what’s going on. And maybe all you need to do is make a phone call to say “hey, I’m in town, don’t be surprised to see me” and nothing more than that.

I wish you luck, Prankster. It’s hard to face up to your skeletons and John C. Mayer and I commend your bravery.

——————–

As always, Pranksters, please fill in where John C. Mayer and I left off in the comments.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

42 Responses to Go Ask John C. Mayer

  • ndnspeechmom says:

    This comment was brought to you by the desk of John C. Mayer. Not really, but that would have been funny. Your blog is a wonderland and my John C. Mayer-ing of Ralph G. Macchio was totally successful so I had to give you an award on my blog.

    Don’t forget to thank Baby John C. Mayer like all the rappers do.

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      I always thank Baby John C. Mayer for my life being full of John C. Mayer. Now I just wish I’d chosen someone douchier. Like Dave Matthews. John C. Mayer isn’t as douchy.

      • heydave says:

        Now, just hold on there, lil’ missy (piss you off yet? Unintentional, but deal with it anyhow). I would argue that both John C. Mayer and Dave Matthews are on an equal level of douchiness. Like two demigods in the pantheon of douchiness, they may have different skills, but viewed form a distance, they are both douchy. Yes, Dave Matthews and John C. Mayer are douchy.

      • beta dad says:

        Dave Matthews may be culturally irrelevant and worthy of mocking, but I don’t think he’s in the same douchosphere as John C. Mayer. Dave doesn’t (as far as I know–I don’t really follow such things) date celebs and make ridiculous and offensive statements in interviews. He’s quietly dignified in his douchiness. (I’m sure I wouldn’t defend such a wimp-rocker if I hadn’t known him when he poured drinks at my favorite bar.) Anyway, John C. Mayer.

      • Zippy Chix says:

        Zippy Chix just posted a John C Mayer, but we didn’t use John C Mayer, we used Kate I Gosselin, but we haven’t shown up on Google yet… We were so hoping to send you a screenshot with us at the top, but alas it has not happened…

        http://zippychix.com/the-buzz/kate-i-gosselin%e2%80%a6seriously/

        What are we doing wrong???? Any tips Aunt Becky? Thnx!

  • ndnspeechmom says:

    woah i made the first comment? that has never happened to me ever…it’s like you and John C. Mayer gave me an award right back!!

    John C. Mayer be praised!

  • Halala Mama says:

    Dear Photobug – Okay yes, maybe you did overreact about the photos on your bf’s facebook page and I have no idea how you framed that complaint to him BUT his reaction? “I don’t believe this shit. Fuck you. I don’t have to ask. Those were of me and my kids and again I paid for the damn thing. Come get the rest of your shit.”

    OH HELL NO!

    This idea that because he paid for the camera which was supposed to be a gift and he owns it? No.

    The idea that he can talk to you like that? No.

    The idea that he should not have to apologize for not realizing how important it is to you? NO.

    The idea that he shouldn’t offer to go back and give you credit for your work? No.

    I could go on and on and on.

  • Dr. Cynicism says:

    I’m waiting for the day when I click over to this blog and see that it has been renamed “John C. Mayer Wants Vodka.” I’m also waiting eagerly to see when he actually chimes in about this stuff…

  • If you and John C. Mayer are praying for Jillian, then so am I!

  • jana says:

    Way to go John C Mayer. I mean, uh, Aunt Becky! Prayers for Jillian and the other pranksters who need them!

  • Mel says:

    Wow. Just one thing – John C. Mayer. :)

  • “I don’t believe this shit. Fuck you. I don’t have to ask. Those were of me and my kids and again I paid for the damn thing. Come get the rest of your shit.” <—- Not cool to talk to one's SO like that, or to treat them with such disrespect. Ever. (I'll get John C. Mayer to kick some sense into him.)

  • Dear Aunt Becky and John C. Mayer,

    John C. Mayer and I are praying for baby Jillian. Also, if anyone is still looking for a candidate for pulling a John C. Mayer, John C. Mayer suggests targeting Scott V. J. Baio.

    xoxo,
    John C. Mayer and stark. raving. mad. mommy.

  • Man, that John C. Mayer’s a wise one. But then, that is what John C. Mayer is known for – his kind, intelligent, John C. Mayeresque words.

    Not that he could ever compare to David Hyde Pierce.

    David Hyde Pierce’s words are like angels singing.

    Only the fun angels who swear and pull pranks on mortals, ’cause come on, you know that’d be freaking hilarious if you were an angel.

    http://bestoffates.com/david-hyde-pierce-star-of-fraiser-curtains-and-my-heart/

  • Laura says:

    For Photobug…My two exes and their respective spouses read my blog obsessively. I’ve learned to either joke about it and call them the “I Hate the Queen of the Universe” fan club or simply ignore them.

    When people you know in real life take the time to read your blog and mock you, you should know that unlike John C. Mayer, they have very little going on in their own lives and you should feel sorry for them.

    And also…the boyfriend? The one who disrespected you and your work and spoke to you in a way John C. Mayer would ever do? Yeah, he should have an ex in front of that boyfriend title.

    BTW, Aunt Becky…you fucking rock!!

    • Your Aunt Becky
      Twitter: mommywantsvodka
      says:

      John C. Mayer would never, ever treat you that way, although John C. Mayer doesn’t date people for very long. Also, yes, getting over having people (unlike John C. Mayer) who hate your blog is just…something you have to do. Eventually.

      Like buying John C. Mayer albums.

  • heydave says:

    Photobug, do you really need someone else to add to the general consensus that your boyfriend is being Very Douchy and you should run away? Because I would add my vote to that, and I bet John C. Mayer would, also too.

  • Jenn says:

    That photograph question got me pissed off ten ways to Sunday. Honestly, that guy is an ASS and, if you haven’t left him already (I’m guessing you have?) then you should. I mean, yay, he bought you a camera. That does not mean he has any right to ANY of the photos that have been taken with it. Photographs are copyrighted material. The fact that he has posted them on FB without your permission is, technically, against the law.

    I have had people do this to me but I’ve never gotten a reaction like the one your boyfriend gave you, and I’m not always that nice about my requests. I took some pretty good photographs of my niece and nephew, my SIL (the evil one), took them without permission and posted them on FB. I asked her nicely – “Hey, I don’t care that you have my photos up there but do you mind giving me credit?” – and she gave me credit. When I ask less nicely I am usually met with stony silence but they at least take my pictures down.

    Don’t let anyone else keep you from writing or taking photographs. What would piss him off the most is if you didn’t let him bother you. Keep doing the things that make you happy – otherwise he wins and you lose. Big.

  • Jenn says:

    Got so riled up by the photograph thing that I forgot to comment on much else.

    To Not a Stalker:
    I had a boyfriend for 4 years (all 4yrs of high school) and then he cheated, and we split up. I was thinking about getting back together with him, but then he moved away. I never really stopped loving him but then I met someone else and he was (more or less) forgotten. 8 years (and one husband and 2 kids) later, the guy moved back to town, and even ended up working for my husband. Yikes! I was worried (having panic attacks, losing sleep, etc) about awkward meetings. I knew I couldn’t keep living that way so I (with my husband’s knowledge – this is IMPORTANT – don’t try to leave your husband out of the loop, this leads to bad things!) emailed the guy, got some closure, and (FINALLY) completely moved on. It was very healing. Except for the part where he and my husband got to be *shudder* friends and then I began to worry constantly about the information that they could be exchanging (I was assured by my husband that this never happened but I still have my suspicions).

    Not sure how it will work out for you, but Aunt Becky’s advice is sound. Thought you might want to know that you aren’t the only one who has felt that way. xoxo

  • badbadwebbis says:

    The doucheyness of Brett Lorenzo Favre is apparently so legendary that my wee little John C. Mayer-ing of him is buried in many other attempts to expose his douche-osity (unless you google Brett Lorenzo Favre John C. Mayer), BUT. I give you stone-cold (or maybe not) proof of the possible effects of John C. Mayer-ing….

    VOILA!

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=300919016

  • Pingback: Eminem (Marshall Bruce Mathers III) And I Are In Love « ad hoc MOM

  • MannyRee says:

    I’m sure that John C. Mayer is praying for baby Jillian, as am I.

    John C. Mayer would NOT approve of the way bf talked to Photobug…not nice at all. Bf needs a mushroom print.

    John C. Mayer is also pissed that I have been unable to fully John C. Mayer Jason F. Brown, because there is a producer, a philosopher, and a dentist all with the same name who are fighting me for number one…even though John C. Mayer and the REAL Jason F. Brown are being nice about it. What’s up with that???

    http://lifeslaundrybasket.blogspot.com/2010/09/jason-f-brown-needs-to-just-give-up.html

    Me and John C. Mayer have no really good advice for ex boyfriends, but lots of bad things to say about ex husbands…maybe some of them apply? Good luck with that situation, neither me nor John C. Mayer would want to deal with that at all.

  • Tonya says:

    I think that John C. Mayer isn’t really pulling any of his weight here in the Ask John C. Mayer column, I have a sense that Aunt Becky is helping him too much. But then, John C. Mayer can be very lazy. You need to watch him, he’s sneaky!
    Also, Eminem (Marshall Bruce Mathers III) agrees with me. He says to tell John C. Mayer: “Fuck you. I’m gonna kill you!” I hope John C. Mayer doesn’t get mad at me though, I’m just the messenger. While, Eminem (Marshall Bruce Mathers III) and I are in love, I can admit he can be a bit pushy. and grumpy. but probably not as much as John C. Mayer is lazy.

  • Holy John C. Mayer, that’s some good advice, Aunt Becky. It’s almost as if you and John C. Mayer have one mind, which you meld together to counsel the lovelorn. Andy maybe fight crime.

  • Jennifer June
    Twitter: theladyslounge
    says:

    A cat suit! Good one. My one-day-when-we-meet-again outfits always have an effortlessly hot theme but why stop there?
    Cat suit. Yep, that’s the one.

  • Sam says:

    Oh Not a Stalker – I feel your pain! And not because I’m not a stalker either (totally not) but because I really dislike it When Worlds Collide. Even if you’re the one to have pulled the trigger on a past relationship (I was), it still doesn’t mean you want to exchange awkward pleasantries at iHop. Am I right? I know I am. And honestly, whenever I return to the Mellancamp-esque Small Town (ps I’m actually FROM where he lives now – how fucking SMALL TOWN IS THAT?! Like to the 9th power.) I could throw a rock and hit someone I went to school with, or dated, or both. So really, Colliding Worlds is inevitable….but not FUN. This is why I recommend exuding uber hotness at all times (like Aunt Becky, I frequently rock a cat suit – keep mine in the trunk JUST IN CASE) and Situational Awareness – the latter so I can make a hasty retreat rather than play “How are YOU doing now?” when I really just want to eat some damned pancakes.

  • Photobug says:

    To Aunt Becky for allowing me to get outside perspective on my non-creative, clueless BF, thank you.
    To all the Pranksters who weighed in with their opinions, thank you. Some times it’s comforting to see in black and white from other people what you already think/feel in your heart.

    To Halala Mama: I saw the pictures on his FB page first thing Monday AM. I sent him a text message “I see you got into my camera” at which point he answered “Maybe”, and I explained to him that I felt he at least owed me a heads up about using the pictures. I have no problem with him using them, if I know about it before hand, and get credit for it. Neither of which happened. I don’t need to get into the whole sorrid discussion here, I just wanted to state that I prefaced the whole conversation in a calm polite manner and got F-bombed.

  • CatPS says:

    To the photography victim:

    Honey, you need pick up your camera & your pride and kick that prick to the curb. What an ass!!! In my mind, this has absolutely nothing to do with the creative impulse, ownership of photographs, etc. This is a cut-and-dry case of a complete lack of respect. If my husband (who I have been in a relationship with for over 10 years and happily married to for 3) made any sort of comments to me like that text message you got, it would be world war three and i sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping at home that night.

    You did not overreact. You underreacted. I know the dating scene is not easy, but you are much better off on your own that being with someone who completely undermines the things that are important to you and destroys your self worth. This is A BIG DEAL. Bordering on emotional abuse. Please, please TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!

  • CatPS says:

    To the photography victim:

    Honey, you need pick up your camera & your pride and kick that prick to the curb. What an ass!!! In my mind, this has absolutely nothing to do with the creative impulse, ownership of photographs, etc. This is a cut-and-dry case of a complete lack of respect. If my husband (who I have been in a relationship with for over 10 years and happily married to for 3) made any sort of comments to me like that text message you got, it would be world war three and i sure as hell wouldn’t be sleeping at home that night.

    You did not overreact. You underreacted. I know the dating scene is not easy, but you are much better off on your own that being with someone who completely undermines the things that are important to you and destroys your self worth. This is A BIG DEAL. Bordering on emotional abuse. Please, please TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!!

    (I hope this doesn’t post twice… if so, I apologize to all!)

  • Totally Not a Stalker says:

    To Jenn and Sam – thank you so much for your commiseration! I was feeling like it was just me being all stupid and immature (it’s been six years, what’s wrong with me?).

    After talking with my therapist and husband, I ended up meeting the Ex for a beer. And it was (dare I say it?)…fun! We had a blast catching up and seeing how well we’re both doing (he’s engaged now). When I came home not freaking out, my husband was happy enough to suggest that we double-date sometime (um…maybe), on the (hysterical) condition that “I get to fuck his fiancee first, just to make things fair”.

    For the first time in six years I feel like I can just be happy, without having a “and fuck them anyway” vibe underneath it.

    Thank you all for your advise and commiseration!

    -(Still) Totally Not a Stalker

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