For the first time ever, I have had to rewrite a post, and not because I overused the word ‘fuck’ or got sued by someone (yet). In the original post, I made an unhelpful comment that started a comment thread that was unhelpful to the asker. The comment thread is important, so I left it on the post below, but I want this post to focus on the question and this Prankster.
It’s also very clear to me that we ASD people need a space to talk. I’m trying desperately to start something over at Band Back Together, so if you’re on the fence, please hop over.
The previous post is up for us to discuss our experiences with autism. This post is here to help, support and guide this Prankster.
Dear Aunt Becky,
Do you have any advice for mothers of children who have recently been diagnosed with autism? How did you figure out what was best for Ben? I feel so lost.
Oh Prankster, I’m so sorry for what happened in the last post. I tried to answer your question properly and give you some hope about your child’s condition. I wanted you to see that while you go through some of the really hard times, there are bright spots, too.
There is always hope. Special needs parenting does not always need to be as awful and overwhelming as it feels.
I’m afraid that the wealth of information of autism can sometimes overwhelm us. I did not have that when my son was born and in many ways, I am grateful. I was fortunate to have a child on the lighter end of the spectrum. I had a wonderful Early Intervention caseworker, we had some amazing therapies and putting him into a Montessori preschool full of physicists’ kids was the trick to help Ben.
Is he “cured?” Of course not. That’s not how it works. But I don’t regularly share the darker parts of autism and I didn’t figure that this would be the time to showcase it. Instead, I pointed out that my son was quirky and wonderful as he is. This is true. There are times when it has been dark and awful and hard. This is also true. As a newly diagnosed parent, you do not need to know the dark times, as your dragons will never be the same as mine.
What happened next was not what I wanted to have happen and for that I am deeply sorry. You wanted my help. I wanted to help you. I had hoped that my Pranksters could show you some resources that I did not know of to guide you in your journey. I’ve never used The Internet for autism resources. I’ve never connected with other autistic parents. I don’t have other special needs parents that I routinely talk to.
My son is older than most of the autistic parents I’ve seen online which makes it harder to connect with them.
I am trying to put together an autism resource page and get some of the autistic parents I’ve met to post over at Band Back Together so that we can form a community there. Perhaps there we can share our different perspectives and grow together. I think gathering in one place would be a good thing for all of us. I’ve never felt comfortable talking in great detail about my son here. I don’t know that I ever will. I’d be honored if you would come share with us over there.
Now, I am going to share some resources with you again.
Faces of Autism is a great resource for you.
US Asperger and Autism Association is another great source of information.
So, Pranksters, what would you tell a newly diagnosed parent?
And, if you’d like to talk about autism, I welcome in the post below, but now is the time to support this scared Prankster.