Any good books out there re. pregnancy over 40? Most of what I see deals with fertility and/or doesn’t get into the nitty-gritty (breastfeeding vs. copious sag tit, etc…). Seriously, would appreciate any advice. We can dial it down to “over 35,” if that helps.
Pranksters? I have no personal experience, Terry, so I’m going to let my Pranksters take this one.
I wish you the best of luck, mah friend. Tit sag is a BITCH.
Dear Aunt Becky,
Sooo… my older brother has been loud and proud for 15 years and I’ve always been more than supportive of him, having a blast at gay bars, going to dinner with the new flavor of the week, honestly, I don’t care (and never have cared) that he’s gay.
The thing is.. my brother is an asshole. That’s the part I don’t like. I’ve offered up my place for him to host parties and come home to find everything broken and condoms everywhere. Oh and a passport under my bed from a boy I’ve never met who had just turned 18 years old. Not fucking cool. So, no more parties. My brother has no respect for other people. He’s 32 and lives at my parents place.
Blah blah blah.. it just came to my attention that my brother’s new boyfriend of a few months used to do a lot of gay porn. I was sent the link.. it’s the new boyfriend.. and well, I mean to each their own, but I’m just not really cool with embracing a man whose images I can’t get out of my head.
No one in the family knows except for me and the family is in love with him. It looks like he’ll be around for a long time. And honestly, I don’t even know if my brother knows about his boyfriend’s past.
I have a ton of question for you.. but the main one is, how the hell do I handle this???
Thanks Aunt Becky!
If it seems like this dude is going to be around forever, I’d go ahead and try and remember all those pictures we took in Cancun, that one drunken night, then decided to repost on The Facebook. Not that porn is the same as those stupid photos of my boobs from Cancun, but you get the idear.
I know your brother is an asshole, but perhaps you can take aside his partner and make sure he’s clean. You know, free from The Crotch Rot? Because honestly, that’s the only thing I can really take issue with or worry about. I mean, if he’s still making porn, there’s prolly another discussion to be had.
Other than that, try not to picture that dude getting plowed while you pass the potatoes on Thanksgiving and remember that we all have unsavory bits in our past.
Good luck, Prankster.
Dear Aunt Becky,
Why the fuck do people wear white shirts and jeans for family portraits? Is there some special meaning or is it just a god-awful trend (using the word trend liberally)? I’m not one for professional portraits (neglectful mom) so the whole idea of any kind matching outfit or let’s-all-look-over-our-shoulders-whilst-at-the-beach is abhorrent to me.
But why THIS particular outfit? I’ve seen it before, and I’m all MORMON! but now I think it’s a THING. What is it? (Besides something insignificant that bothers me too much for no reason. AKA people dipping everything they eat into ranch dressing).
Dear Prankster Kristin,
I think that the whole matching white shirt and jeans thing is probably caused by people who are actually being held for ransom by the mafia. Like they’re taking these pictures to send a warning to friends and family, which is why they send YOU a copy (also: me). They’re saying, don’t FUCK with the mob or the MOB will fuck you BACK (by making you wear white shirts and jeans so you “match” your family, just like you’ll wear “matching” cement shoes into the river).
I cannot think of any other good reason for the uncomfortably posed, matching clothes pictures. Really, who goes and sits around a fake fireplace together, giving each other those sappy fucking grins?
PEOPLE BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT, THAT’S WHO.
Pranksters, any better idears?
As always, Pranksters, please submit your questions to Go Ask Aunt Becky and you, too, may receive a totally pointless response from me.