Dear Aunt Becky,
My mother in law feels the need to fill my child full of crackers just before ingesting a nutritional balanced dinner. Of course said child refused to eat said dinner because he is full of said crackers. Is it ok to skull drag her dumbass and punt her head across the yard for such a deed?
I would say that this is only an acceptable answer if you can somehow manage to capture the entire thing on video so that you can then upload it onto the Internet so that I can watch it over and over when I’m having a bad day. Because that mental image is DELICIOUS.
I had the same Epic Battle Royale over juice. My mother seemed sure that juice was the sweet, sweet nectar of the gods, which made my son decide that food was then not worth eating. Ever. Obviously, you know the rub.
If talking to gently doesn’t work (“you know that he DOES need to eat dinner, and crackers aren’t dinner…”), and if talking to your kid doesn’t work (“crackers aren’t ACTUALLY dinner…”), I’d say punting is the only option left.
And then Youtube, there you go.
If you do NOT put this on Youtube, I will hunt you down.
Hi Aunt Becky!
After reading about your struggles with sleep, and those damn siberian farting squirrels (it’s a real phenomenon, people!), I was wondering if you have any advice on approaching the topic with a doctor.
I’ve attempted to drop hints at appointments in the past, but the doctor tends to head toward the “Are you depressed? Maybe some SSRIs would help you sleep…” Path. Nope, not depressed. Slightly stabby from lack of sleep, but not depressed. I’m just an extremely light sleeper and have trouble falling asleep if there is any audible noise. Earplugs don’t help, and otc stuff like benadryl doesn’t cut it.
Thanks in advance!
‘Literally Sleepless in PA
Those fucking squirrels are everywhere. Assholes.
Man, that’s a tough conversation to have with your doctor, especially if you have one that seems convinced that you’re depressed. Which, if you’re not sleeping, dude, you know you’re just NOT SLEEPING. It’s gonna make you loopy, not depressed.
My advice is this: try to be firm and clear. Go in to the doctor SPECIFICALLY to talk about this. Arm yourself with a notepad where you’ve written yourself a simple script. I tend to get all stupid around doctors after years of having them not listen to me, so having something I can keep repeating helps me out.
If he/she doesn’t listen. Go to someone else. You’re not alone.
(Unisom works best for me, by the by)
You have my FULL BLESSING to punch the next person to suggest warm milk to you. Good luck. Let me know how it goes.
Aunt Becky, can you talk a bit about trolling? What’s your policy on responding/ ignoring/ deleting comments?
Why of course I can, Gentle Reader, because as you know, Your Aunt Becky can talk at great length about nothing at all because I am a blogger and this is what we do.
Truthfully, though, I have no such policy in place in regards to trolls.
But let’s back up for a second, shall we? An Internet Troll, for those of you not in the know, has many definitions, ranging from:
- Someone who expresses dissenting opinions “I don’t agree with what you say.”
- Someone who comes to a blog trying to cause deliberate harm, “You’re a fucking assbag and you should be put out of your misery”
- Someone who tries to pick a fight with you or your readers for the sake of being controversial, “God, you’re all a bunch of sheep” or “I hate women because they are the weaker sex.”
- Someone who is stating misinformation, “Aunt Becky can divide by zero.”
In the years that I have blogged, I will be honest with you, I can count on (barely) my two hands the trollish comments that I have gotten, which I know, wipe that look of shock off your face, I know. I’m surprised too. Really, I am.
Maybe I shouldn’t be, though. I don’t tend to court controversy, though, and I keep my nose away from most of the mommy wars because I don’t find them worth my time or effort. Besides, 50 million Ethiopian pygmies don’t give a flying shit, why should I bother getting involved?
I’d much rather pluck my leg hairs out one by ever-loving one than express my deep and meaningful opinions on the latest thing we’re polarizing about THIS week, because OBVIOUSLY.
I’ve deleted one nasty comment once, and that was the day that I got booted from my lovely three day stint in the hospital broom closet for suspected pre-eclampsia and some ass-bag calling me out for being boring just didn’t need to be published that day.
Most people, though, I’ve learned, are perfectly lovely. I treat most of the people that I have met through my blog as they are my friends and I do my best to keep up with everyone. Of the 8 or so trollish comments that I’ve had, probably 5 of them have apologized to me later on, which I’d say is a pretty decent track record.
Part of it too, though, is burying my head in the sand. I no longer have a stats program that records any incoming links and I do not have a google alert on my blog name, so if people are talking smack about me, I am not privy to it.
I think I like it better that way.
So until I see otherwise, I don’t plan on having any sort of policy on trolls. Unless they’re fucking with my people. In which case I will smack a bitch DOWN.
Gentle Internet, what is/would your policy on trolls be?
And, as always, lovies, if I’ve left anything out, please, add in what you will. Also, please don’t be afraid by the huge jump in the number of comments you see after my posts. They’re due to the threaded comments which add a comment every time *I* add a comment, which make me look impossibly cooler than I am.