So Pranksters, it’s time for the March Edition of the BB2G: Bringing Happy Back World Tour, which is like New Years Resolutions except awesome (New Years Resolutions = Bullshit).
So get your glorious asses over there and join up. Mostly because you get that glorious badge. Which isn’t QUITE as awesome as the Best Picture on the Internet, but close.
Dear Aunt Becky,
How should I handle a little effin’ biotch who recently made my sweet angel cry at school?
My daughter is nine and has a heart of gold. Everyone she meets always compliments me on her lovely sweet personality and how she would not hurt a fly. Well yesterday, she told me about a girl at school who say behind her in assembly and made some really nasty comments about my child, calling her an ugly cry-baby with a big head!
My child just doesn’t understand this type of cruelty. She made me so sad when she looked at me confused and said “but Mommy, she doesn’t even know me!”
Please help, I’m so incensed with rage I’m trying hard not to head out and find this little shit and pinch her effin’ head off!
If there’s anything that pisses me off more than bullying, I’m not sure what it is. Do you remember when we were kids and we had kids that were total assjackets to us and the answer was pretty much a standard *shrugs* “kids will be kids?”
Or, at least, I remember my brother going through it. He’s a lot older than me and I’ll never forget watching my big brother – my strong, smart, tough big brother, who I thought the world revolved around – as he was tormented, endlessly mocked and beaten down, because he had a stutter. Oh yeah, bullies and I, we’re like peas in a pod. If peas in a pod want to watch each other burn to death in a fiery blaze of bullets.
Yeah, so back then, no one dealt with bullies. Now? The schools take bullying more seriously. AS THEY SHOULD.
My eldest was the target of a bully in Kindergarten and the school actually ended up suspending the child after the bullying continued. Ben’s emotional range isn’t quite as normal as a typical child (he’s autistic) so when he was being bullied, he was less upset and more confused by the whole situation. I, of course, was the one who was flaming pissed. Ben’s about as kind and gentle as they come.
So, what do you do about it?
Well, first, I’d try and talk to your daughter about what happened with the girl, let her know that it’s not her fault, and that you are, of course, 100% on her side. Kids don’t always know that you’re on their side unless you SAY it, and if you’re acting angry, sometimes they think that you’re angry at THEM.
Tell your daughter to talk to an adult the next time it happens. A teacher, you, another parent, a sibling, anyone. She needs to tell an adult that she’s having problems with a bully.
The second thing she can learn to do is to stand up for herself without getting upset. The bully wants to get the victim upset. Tell your daughter to not let the bully see her respond emotionally. She doesn’t have to be an asshole back to the bully, but she doesn’t have to take whatever the bully is throwing out lying down. She can respond with a joke back or a firm, “Whatever,” and then get out of the situation. If the bully doesn’t get the reaction that she wants, she’ll stop doing it.
If she can learn to do that (which is extremely hard, I know) it will do wonders to foster her self-esteem down the road.
The third thing she can learn to do is to stand up for others who may be targeted by bullies. Sometimes, you just need SOMEONE on your side. I think every single one of us understands how THAT feels.
As for you, Prankster, I’d call the school if the bullying persists and see what their policy on bullying is. I imagine that your school now has some policy on bullying in place, what with all of the proof that bullying in the early days leads to all kinds of problems in later life.
Now, I’m giving you the link to a book that an actual online friend (I have friends? WOAH) wrote about bullies. He sent me a copy which I gave to my nine-year old son, Ben (the one who’d been bullied) and Ben has read it no less than 879 times. Seriously, he loves it.
It’s called The Skinny on Bullying and it’s been heartily endorsed by my son. So, there you have it.
Now, Pranksters, I know you’re going to have a honking buttload of better information than I do to give this Prankster, so please, share away.