Y’all, I need prayers. At the preliminary custody hearing they gave custody to my husband based on the lies he and his daughter told on the stand. I am heartbroken and I don’t know what to do.
Please pray for my son’s safety.
Crying real tears,
The Anonymous Asker
Dear Aunt Becky,
I tried to write this email a couple times and realized I keep including a thousand skank details that don’t matter.
How do you pick between two men who are polar opposites?
What if you’re made a pro/con list cause you’re that kind of person and Guy A makes more sense but your gut tells you Guy B and you CAN’T FIGURE OUT WHY?!
What if you can’t figure out how to break up with Guy B because his crazy ex-wife cheated on him and now he’s super super wrapped up in you and it would sort of devastate him (even though you feel conceited saying that, even anonymously-ish)?
What if you even feel silly writing this email because it makes you feel like a shallow, stupid high school girl?
Even if you don’t put this up with Go Ask Aunt Becky, I would really like to know what you think Even it’s a smack down of what an idiot I am. I don’t think my friends would tell me that, which is why they’re my friends, but I’m fairly confident you would.
– I can’t even come up with a moniker for this crap.
Prankster, while your dilemma is serious, your email had me laughing my ass off. I think I would very much like to be friends with you because you have the ability to crack me up even when I’m all Campaign of Doom on Anthropologie because I ordered a sweater on Wednesday and it’s Saturday and I have a canceled order (out of stock! They let me order it anyway!) and a depleted gift card (gift card department isn’t in over the weekend!) and nothing to show for it. They bent me over and took my monies!
HULK SMASH AUNT BECKY.
So, I see your dilemma and it’s a doozy and I found myself in that position a couple of times and here’s my best advice: go with your gut. My gut doesn’t lie. My head often skews things.
Guy Number B it is!
See, it’s much easier when I make decisions for you. Also: when I go on a Campaign of Terror, everyone around me who I am not chewing out laughs their ass off. The Daver turned blue in the face trying not to laugh where the person on the phone could hear him.
Dear Aunt Becky,
I have a problem. I’m 18 years old and I only attract older guys. The youngest guy I have ever had interested in me is 21. Now, this isn’t such a terrible thing except that they all make big deals about my age. They say they like me but they just can’t bring themselves to do anything about it because I am too young! So, what do you propose I do?
Way Too Young
P.S. I live in Australia, so I am legal to vote, drink, drive etc. so it’s not like it would be illegal!
HOLY SHIT, YOU’RE YOU...bwhahaha! I’m teasing you.
You’re mature for your age. I think that your email shows that and that’s full of the awesome. My guess is that your boyfriends are all, “she ACTS like she’s 25, not 18!” and then when they think about it, they feel all old and stuff.
I’d take it as a compliment as best as I can.
I say that because every time I do something with my eldest son, Ben, I get the same treatment. I had him at 21 and while it’s not geriatric or anything, it’s not scandalously young. I get mistaken for the babysitter. When I inform people that I’m his mother, it’s all “YOU CAN’T HAVE A CHILD THAT OLD,” and I’m all, “uh, wow, this is awkward now.”
Try to remember that it’s their issue, not yours. Remind me of the same, okay?
Dear Aunt Becky,
I am in love with a wonderful man. A man who loves me and loves my daughter as his own. A man i could never turn my back on. I am keeping a secret from this man and i have no idea how i will ever be able to tell him. I have herpes. I got it from an ex (i was extremely committed to him. him, not so much in return) who cheated on me and passed it to me.
I have told this man that i want to wait until marriage until I have sex again because of all the messed up relationships i’ve had in the past. We have talked about getting married. I’m able to tell him everything except this….Do you have any help on how i can and should tell him?
It sounds, Prankster, like this guy is a keeper. And if this guy is a keeper, then I can’t see The Herp scaring him off. But I can absolutely see why you wouldn’t want to tell him.
But you can’t wait until marriage. That, I think, would put a serious kink in your relationship, and not the whips-and-chains kind.
So I’d approach him armed with the facts and tell him openly and honestly what happened and how terrified you were to tell him about it. If he’s as good of a guy as you say, I don’t see herpes scaring him off. Plenty of people continue to have perfectly normal and happy relationships with only one infected partner.
As always, Pranksters, please fill in where I left off in the comments. You can always submit your burningest questions to Go Ask Aunt Becky.
Also: you need to check out Froggy Girl’s Etsy shop, Hamlet’s Mistress AND Shui Teas, all of whom were brave enough to get ads on my blog, allowing me to get out from under The Man. And robots. Always with the robots.