Dear Aunt Becky,
Just 3 weeks ago, I found out that my boyfriend of 7 years has been sleeping with an ugly, stupid woman he works with. He used to make fun of her all of the time by forwarding her emails to me and to other people in her office.
Her emails contained such gems as “I am staying home with a migrant today.” She meant “migraine,” but everyone speculated that she had swung by Home Depot and picked up a guy for the day. She also claims that things aren’t “worth her wild.” I still have those emails. What should I do?
You’re the best!
Oh, Prankster, how my heart hurts for you, because I have SO been there before, and I can tell you that it’s bad enough when someone cheats on you, but it’s THAT MUCH WORSE when it’s someone with half a brain. Or someone who is, perhaps, butt-ugly WITH half a brain.
So I’m sorry. That’s lousy and I have total sympathy. It’s happened to me twice and it’s brutal.
As for what you should do with the emails, I can suggest posting them on Mushroom Printing (it’s the group blog and you can post them over there if you choose), and I’ll ask my other Pranksters for advice here as well. What should she do with these emails?
Dearest Aunt Becky,
I have a dilemma that I would love your advice on. I’m not close to any of my real aunts and I don’t have any sisters, but you are the best Aunt of the Internet out there so I figured you could help. Forgive me that it’s a bit long.
Anyway, I am having a problem with men. Just like every other woman in the world. However, I feel like my own judgment can’t get any worse and I need to dig myself out of this hole I am in.
I am 19 years old. I dated a much older man for about two months. He was mostly good to me and we had a great time together. Amazing chemistry. I found myself falling in love with him very, very fast and equally hard! I was head over heels for this guy (still am…) and I would do anything for him. Including “understanding” him being with his ex-girlfriend. They had a history and clearly he wasn’t ready to let go of her, although they broke up over a year ago. He stopped seeing her altogether when we were dating. In my naive little mind, things were going my way. Then, all the sudden, he meets up with his ex, they “talk” and she ends up spending 2 nights at his house, all while he ignores my calls and ruins our plans together.
So I was done with him. Extremely broken hearted and deeply in love, the last time I saw him was when I left his house sobbing so hard I couldn’t even drive straight.
Fast forward to the present day, about 3 weeks later. I met a really nice guy on July 4th. We have been dating since. However, I find myself really…not myself in this relationship. Normally I am sweet, fun, flirty, and very affectionate. I tend to get close to people quickly.
This hasn’t happened with the new guy.
I like him a lot, he’s a very sweet guy and nothing like the last prick I dated. I just find myself not caring if he calls me, not caring if he wants to see me, and not caring about…him in general.
I feel so numb from my last relationship that I don’t give a shit if I get close to this guy. I really, really want to give a shit, though. I want to be my old self. I want to let my guard down. But I feel like the last guy broke my heart so bad that it can’t even function.
I’m way too young to even be in this situation. Aunt Becky, what the flying fuck do I do?!
Aw, sweetie, I’m sorry you got your heart trampled on. Same thing happened to me at that age and I STILL remember driving away from his house sobbing like a baby (aside: I am not sure I have a heart anymore, but that is neither here nor there). When we fall, we fall hard, huh?
Anyway, that’s a good thing that you can love so deeply, even if it hurts now. Sometimes, we need time to get over the people we loved before we can let ourselves open up to someone new. It sounds to Your Aunt Becky like your heart is still hurting from the one who broke your heart before and that’s okay. There’s no time limit on the length of time it takes to get over something like that.
I think the people we loved are always a part of us even when we’re no longer together.
That love you had changed who you were forever. Maybe for now, you’re a little more wary of opening up to someone new, but I promise, you will be able to love someone again. Just give yourself time to mourn what you lost before expecting yourself to bounce right back.
Love you, Prankster. Hard.
Dear Aunt Becky,
In the few months I’ve been following your blog, I’ve tried to come up with a suitable question for you. Unfortunately my mind seems to be stuck on a single question and until I ask it, I’m not going to be able to think of another. So, would you rather watch a porno with your parents, or one starring them?
The answer is simple, my good friend: mayonnaise.
As always, Pranksters, please fill in with the comments where I left off, yo.