Sometimes, Pranksters, even Your Aunt Becky likes to take a couple of moments to pull her head out of her bejeweled ass to do some good in the world. Today is one of those days. I’m simply going to direct you to Save The Children, a charity that is trying to help local health workers bring basic first aid and health care to children around the world.
Every four seconds, a child survives THANKS to the health care provided by local health workers on the front lines.
Using our blogs, our facebook profiles, and our Twitter accounts, we can help Save The Children get the word out about this campaign. Throw up the badge, visit the site, see what you can do to help. You don’t have to pull out your wallet to help.
As a nurse, a member of the local medical reserve corp (stop gasping in fear, Pranksters, I won’t accidentally give you vodka rather than normal saline!), and a future traveling health worker, I can think of no cause I’d rather get behind.
<a href=”http://goodgoes.savethechildren.org/r/goodgoes?r=badge200″ target=”_new”><img src=”http://goodgoes.savethechildren.org/assets/goodGoesBadge.gif” border=”0″ alt=”GoodGoes.org”></a>
(that’s the code for the badge, display it with pride!)
Let’s do what we can.
Dear Aunt Becky,
So, I did something awesome today. I paid off the remainder of my unsecured rediculous debt (yeah me!)
I am so overjoyed.
… and I feel like humping my own leg.
My question, aunt becky, because you are so FULL OF THE AWE and a little bit of the SOME (AWESOME!) How do YOU keep from humping your own mother humping leg all the time?? Ya know, besides it’s physically impossible?
More importantly, how to reward yourself for something so cool without going out and spending money??? HMMM???
Now YOU are so full of the awesome that I’m here humping your leg from Chicago, which means that you either have insanely long legs or I have a very, very bendable crotch which is probably the grossest image ever so let’s move on, shall we?
Congrats, you! That’s a huge responsible thing to do and I’m super proud of you.
Clearly celebrating by going out and blowing a fistful of cash on stuff isn’t smart–even though it’s fun–so maybe you should go do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Give a concert for the homeless (snort!) or do some crossword puzzles (double snort!).
Sorry, I always hate those lists of things that “you can do while NOT spending money!!” because they always sound hokey to me. Not that they always ARE hokey, just that they SOUND that way. Taking a walk is nice, but when you’re all, “Strolling through the park on a spring day,” suddenly you’re in a Nicholas Spark novel and I’m vomiting in the corner.
So, if I were you, and you were as compulsive as I am *ahem* I’d pick some projects around the house to do that give you some sense of satisfaction. Clean your closets and purge the hell out of your basement. Or come to my house and give me a hand doing it. I’m swamped.
Bottom line: projects are an excellent distraction until you get used to not swiping that credit card all of the time. So long as they’re not like “take up scrapbooking” which is hella expensive (what the fuck?).
And if you’re still stumped, like I said, COME ON OVER AND HELP ME OUT.
Dear Aunt Becky,
About three weeks ago, I left my jerk of a husband a note telling him I was filing for divorce. Why a note, you ask? Because if I hadn’t, there was sure to be a scene. And he hasn’t let me finish a thought or a sentence in years. Anything on my heart was dismissed, ignored or argued with. (Sadly, there are two small children involved. So I’ve held on so long for them and for what!)
I wonder, if he hadn’t been so emotionally unavailable and such an ass all these years, would I still feel the same? I don’t think so. I don’t think I would have ever left. But would I have been in love? I don’t know that either. They (whoever they is) say that love grows over time and that love has its seasons – its ups and downs. And they say (again, who the hell) that when all is said and done at the end of the road, who you end up with after all the years is what matters most. I am not sure who that would have been for either him or me. Of course, I don’t have a crystal ball and there is no way I would have known, but I am not sure I would have been ME.
What I am doing now is trying to find myself (so cliché, but damn. So true!). I am just having such a hard time with this. I don’t want to be married to him. But I don’t want to be married at all. I know it’s probably still so fresh and I am still so raw. So I know I should give it some time.
While I have all these conflicting feelings, I do still want to be close to a man. I want to feel that desire and fulfillment. I think I now understand why some women in my position just go nuts and screw their brains out. I’m not that kind of girl, but I feel like I could be.
I think I am learning that I am a very loving person. And it’s soooo hard to be going through this and feeling this near-hate for the man I’ve been married to and supposedly in love with for years.
Do I need to just get this out of my system? Is this normal? Should Jesus be my husband for a while? I’ve always been annoyed at women who say that. Should I be chaste? Should I just get a boy toy for a while? I don’t think I have it in me to do either. Dr. Feelgood, what do I do?
Aw, Prankster, I’m so sorry. It’s hard when the relationship is insidiously difficult and there isn’t a simple explanation to why things were so hard. It sounds like you’re making some positive decisions for yourself now.
But you’re spinning.
So take a deep breath. Finding yourself is no easy task. You’re not hidden under a bed or around the corner and it’s not as easy as just snapping your fingers and wishing it was all better (trust me on this).
You’re on the right path, but you need to just step back and start living again. Start by breathing slowly, finding the joy in small things, and taking care of yourself one small thing at a time. It’s in those small places you’ll find yourself.
The beauty of it all is that you don’t HAVE to make up your mind as to whether or not you want a new relationship right now. Rushing into anything right now is a bad, bad idea, because it’s just too soon. These fresh wounds need to heal and you need to focus on you for awhile without having the pressure of any other adult to care for.
In time, you’ll know what you want, and you’ll be able to find it. But just remember to breathe and take care of yourself. There’s no rush.