Dear The Internet,
My name is Aunt Becky and this is my blog. I’m writing to you today to ask you for some prayers for a new friend of mine whose baby has been diagnosed -in utero- with the same type of posterior encephalocele that Amelia had.
In my travels around The Internet, I haven’t found many of us. In fact, she’s the only other person I know whose child has had this type of neural tube defect, and she’s understandably shocked and terrified. She has a much longer road to travel than I did because she’s only about 20 weeks pregnant, and I know how much your thoughts and prayers lifted me up.
If you could, please spare a thought and a prayer for my friend and her baby.
Your Aunt Becky
P.S. Have you lost weight? Because I’m not just saying that to butter you up or anything. You really do look amazing. Want to make out?
Last night I was telling DH that when I get my check from the remainder of my student loan, I’m going to buy my breast pump. He immediately said “No! I forgot to tell you, [his sister] is buying it for me because she knows a good one”.
First of all, I’ve done a ton of research on pumping…reviews, word of mouth, recommendations from moms on message boards, and even my own doctor’s office. I’m very set on the pump I want.
Second of all, even if she did happen to get me the one I want, it’s $300. She borrows gas money and money for her own kids’ clothes and daycare from DH’s parents all the time. Why the heck would she spend that much money on a gift for me?
Third of all, we are not close at all. In fact, she’s never liked me and that’s obvious, yet she picks the most personal item to want to buy me for the baby.
So, DH mentioned to his mom that the pump is already taken care of, and she freaked out, basically saying that not letting my SIL get me the pump she wants to get me will ruin the semi-good relationship we all have going on right now.
WTF do I do? It’s supposed to be a surprise, so I can’t say to her “I know you want to get me the pump, but don’t”, and I see her once every month or so and she barely says hi to me. How do I make this go my way without causing WWIII? Drinking heavily isn’t an option, due to the mini human being I have wiggling around in my uterus, so what the hell do I do, Aunt Becky?
Well, now THAT’S awkward, isn’t it. And no, that wasn’t a question. I mean, anything related to breast pumps and in-laws who don’t like you is kinda awkward. Hell, BREAST pumps are kind of awkward. I mean, have you TRIED attaching them? (I kid, I kid) Alas, I digress…
So, you’re really stuck between a rock and a bigger rock, and when it comes to this, it seems you’ve got one big choice to make: do you want to potentially cause a fight? Because if you really want what you want (because, hello, they’re you’re boobies) you need to get the message to your sister-in-law that you want the breast pump you picked out.
If you’re not interested in rocking the familial boat, I’d sit back, see what she brings and if you don’t like it, return it and buy what you wanted in the first place. Either way, it’s a win-win. And it’s never a bad idea to have a back-up pump.
Dear Aunt Becky,
Are we supposed to wear pantyhose anymore? Pictures in In Style magazine, and the people on What Not to Wear never seem to have hose on. What’s up with that?
Am I supposed to expose my blinding white calves to the world?
Apparently, it’s not in vogue to wear pantyhose anymore and it’s better to blind your date with your pasty whiteness than to wear the hose. Who knew? No seriously, WHO KNEW? You flash your crotch around like the celebs to to distract from your white skin.
Tights are apparently okay, pantyhose are not.
My very best friend rocks. She is a great person and has the greatest family who always make me feel like part of their family too. She and her husband have no children, but being the only married sibling, she has been feeling pressure to have children for her 60ish year old parents (and obviously herself and her husband too.).
Friday she found out that her dad’s lymphoma is back and in a secondary location. On Monday he went to another doctor and found out that his cancer is inoperable and the only treatment is painful and usually unsuccessful. They told him he has 6-9 months which obviously doesn’t give them time to have a baby. My question to you Aunt Becky is how can I help my amazing friend and her family in their time of need?
‘Need help being a great friend
Oh Gentle Reader, it’s obvious that you already are a great friend because you care so much about her and her family. She’s so lucky to have you. I’ll give you some advice here and then I’m sure my readers chime in. Here’s a website I found.
Be sure to give her time to talk about what she’s feeling and going through without trying to make it all better. Just shut your mouth and listen if she wants to talk.
Bring over meals, clean the house, take care of chores that you can without waiting to be asked. It’s really hard to ask for help, so it’s good to just DO rather than sit around waiting to be asked.
Try and follow through with anything you’ve promised you’re going to do.
Allow her to be upset or sad without interrupting her grieving.
Give her a break when you can by taking her out to do fun stuff that you both enjoy doing when you both are able.
Help coordinate any care-related stuff for her dad and see if you can be of any help (picking up medication, etc)
And really, just avoid saying stuff like, “I know how you’re feeling,” “don’t worry,” “I don’t know how you’re handling it all so well” because it’s really offensive. I have a feeling you know better than that, but I figured I’d mention it.
You’re a wonderful soul and I wish you and your friend and her family all the best.
As always, dear Internetters, please fill in the gaps where I’ve left off and feel free to share your wisdom in the comments. If you are so inclined, you can vote for me in the Bloggies under Best Humor Blog.
Then I might be inclined to show you my hooters.