But I really want to, because it’s incredibly toxic. Especially when it’s about a friend. It was doing so much damage to my relationship with them, and everybody else too – instead of telling THEM ‘hey, you really hurt me’, I was raging to our mutual friends. So I was poisoning my friendship with them, and their friendship with everybody else.
I realised I couldn’t honestly say I was their friend when I was saying nasty things about them to other people. And, hell, let’s face it: it makes me a bitch. Not the fun kind of bitch either. The nasty, makes-her-friends-feel-uncomfortable-because-they-LIKE-the-person-she’s-complaining-about kind of bitch. It’s making me the kind of ugly you can’t cover up with a good eye-shadow.

Your friend has been incredibly supportive towards you. Maybe this is a chance for you to return the favour? All you have to do is, next time you want to have a whinge, call somebody who doesn’t know the person who’s upset you. Or, as Becky suggested, get a blog. Then, when you’ve finished venting, call your best friend and talk about pie, kids, or something that might be bothering her. Friendship isn’t just about what they do for you, it’s what you do for them, too.

Final thought: I want you to picture your BFF, sitting with the friends you’ve complained about, and all those things you’ve said to her about them, they’re saying about you. ‘She’s so inconsiderate, can you believe she did did THIS to so-and-so and THAT to such-and-such!’ ‘Oh, let me tell you what she did to me, I was so mad!’

Makes you feel a little bit sick, doesn’t it?

*big hugs all around*

I miscarried my first baby, too. I was 1 week away from my wedding. The best day of my life and the worst day of my life are separated by 7 short days.

This I can tell you…your pain will subside. You will never forget your baby, but your pain will not be as great. I hope you can find someone to talk to and get through this. Miscarrying a baby is more common than you think. And remember…you didn’t cause this.

Grieve your own way. Name your baby if you think it will help. Even though you don’t know the gender, just name your baby. Use your favorite name, or a special nickname.

Most of all, remember that you are not alone. There are support groups. If you don’t think you can sit and talk to someone face to face, find an online group. There are several free groups.

I am truly sorry you are having to go through this. Sending thoughts and prayers to you, dear girl.

(I hate wrapping too…)

for the last question – I am so sorry to hear about your loss. In your mourning, you do not need to tell anyone that you do not feel comfotable telling – and you shouldn’t tell anyone who won’t be supportive and sympathetic. This is not something that you should have to suffer alone, but you also shouldn’t be subjected to criticism or negativity.

1) Get over it. I know, I know, I am one mean bitch. But seriously, you are in a happy relationship with a NOT GAY dude, so why dwell on the past? Maybe you are gay? Just kidding! Obviously you are attracted to men with a keen sense of style and a love of all things fabulously antique, it’s totally awesome and if it were me I would be all proud of that shit. I mean seriously girlfriend, you helped 5 dudes come clean about who they really are. Instead of saying “I turned 5 men gay” (which you KNOW you did not do!) you should say “50% of my exes have hotter home decor than yours”.

2) Mmmhmm. Hate to sound harsh but your friend is tired of your whining. Sorry! I have done this to people. I am all about The Gossip. I love it and want to fuck it. I’m 100% sure most girls are this way. So when your friend uses this as an excuse, she’s la-hiiiiiiii-ing. Sure as shit. Do you reciprocate this with your friend? Do you support her, listen to her, build her up? If so, awesome. If not, you suck! I say take a step back. Are you whiny, clingy and negative? Do you really talk shit about a lot of people? Are you talking shit about a mutual friend (even if it’s just the facts?). If you feel you are 100% innocent, drop this bitch and go call another friend to talk shit about her. You’ll feel much better.

3) I am a mom. I have one (1) toddler. I work full time. I have shit mixed with cookie-barf and ground-up soggy bread for brains. You know what they say, once you pop one out of your hooch you never regain your gooch. Er. I meant, once you have a kid you never recover anything. Body. Spirit. Mind. Tropical vacations in which you are being fanned by a native Island boy who, luckily enough, is 18 years and 7 days. When I have conversations with my co-workers I am thinking that they surely think I am either a) Mentally Handicapped or b) On a high dose of illegal narcotics. I am, of course, neither. I am a mom. And I am dumb now.

4) I have had losses and I am so, so sorry. I don’t think you have to tell him. Especially if you think he will make you feel worse. Instead, call him and tell him to come over for sex. When he knocks on your door, open it and punch the ever loving shit out of him and slam the door. (Then lock it so he can’t come in.) You will feel so much better. In all seriousness, I am so very sorry. Nothing hurts as bad as losing your child. I am so sorry.