Hi, Aunt Becky!
I saw your article on Toy With Me, and thought you might be able to help me with my problem.
*whispers* I’ve never had an orgasm…while having intercourse. I have a GREAT time with my husband, but alas, I don’t know what to tell him to do to get me there!
Also, *ahem* using my fingers isn’t really my thing. But I’m up to trying other stuff!
Trying for the Big O
Well, my friend, you are not alone, and for that I am sorry. I appear, actually, to be in the statistical MINORITY here, because I can get my rocks off by sex alone. Thankfully, though, for you (and I suppose for my Google Search Engine, which is already blessed by things like “Ron Jeremy” and “Debbie Does Dallas” as well as “what does rabbit poo look like?”)(don’t ask)(also, am I the only person who thinks of my Google Search Engine as a person?), my sex-a-licious friend over at Toy With Me, Dear RedHead tackled this on Friday.
Good luck, and Godspeed.
I recently married a really great guy, but he is a bit of a “Momma’s boy”. Now, this wouldn’t be so bad, but this woman feels the need to get involved in or comment on every aspect of my life. She wasn’t like this before we got married, but now, she won’t leave me alone! How do I fix this situation before I accidentally kill her or something?
Well fuck me seven ways from Sunday, that sucks.
My very conservative mother-in-law may or may not loathe the ground that my heathen walk on which may or may not have something to do with the Thanksgiving that I accidentally showed up wearing a “Too Busy To FCUK” shirt (say it with me now “WHOOPS“*!), but actually we get along okay.
So here’s the kicker of this: you’re going to have to deal with this with your husband. This is one of those “united we stand, divided we fall” type of situations, because if you do not, it’s going to go around and around and you’re going to look like the bad guy.
It’s going to be all, “SHEILA (that’s your pretend name) said that you can’t come over and talk to her that way, MOM” and then it looks like you went whining to Bill (your husband’s pretend name) about Mary (your mother-in-law’s fake name). You look like an asshole. Not just like any asshole, but a WHINY asshole. Which totally isn’t fair.
No, you and Bill need to set some boundaries TOGETHER when it comes to your mother-in-law because if you don’t, she’s going to show up when you’re doing the nasty one day and tell you that you’re not boning him properly. And that is BULLSHIT.
This is going to be one of those ugly talks, or maybe it won’t be, I don’t know. Dave’s not one to stand up for me, in fact, if you, Sheila, or ANY of you were to be all, “Hey Dave, your wife is a bitch,**” he’d be all, “DUH” and I’d be all, “HEY!” So, if I had an issue with my mother-in-law, like a real one (she’s a state away, heh) or anyone else, it would be me against them. Or Ben and I against them. He always takes my side.
I wish you the best of luck.
Why does my husband watch football all weekend? And by watch football, I mean yell at the television all weekend long and generally pollute the atmosphere of our home with his ranting at the little uniforms moving around on the TV screen. I don’t mean this in a wifey, woman-y way, but I really hate football season, because my husband acts like Sybil- ecstatic when his teams when, menopausal when they don’t.
Am I a hag if I tell him to get a new hobby? Or ask him to go have his heart attack at a sports bar?
Well, I don’t think you can tell him that he can get a new hobby because, well, I think he might beat you with his commemorative Bears 85 (THANK YOU!) Superbowl Shuffle Gold Record, but yeah.
Dave’s a soccer guy and while he’s not thrilled when The Fire lose, he’s not exactly moping into his bag of chips. I don’t see why sending him off to the sports bars is a bad thing, or having him build himself a Man Cave somewhere where you don’t have to listen to the bellowing.
But I am turning this question over to you, my people, who can probably answer this better than I. Sports fanaticals are just something I’m not familiar with (she says as she strokes her orchids).
So have at it, my friends, fill in any gaps I have left for my desperately seeking advice-rs above. And, as always, feel free to submit your questions through the sidebar.
**You don’t really need to test this theory because he doesn’t read my blog and besides, what if you hurt my extra sensitive feelings. SHUT UP! I have sensitive feelings. STOP LAUGHING.