Comments on: Go Ask Aunt Becky

By: Your Aunt Becky

Your Aunt Becky — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 21:12:22 +0000

Bwahaha! Maybe WordPress thinks you’re a spammer! I always go in and rescue you from the bowels of my spam filter.

By: Mrs Soup

Mrs Soup — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 18:16:09 +0000

Don’t forget, y’all who think you aren’t techie enough for WordPress, that is what the joys of wordpress.com are. The awesomeness of the original, without needing your own hosting. Threaded comments, easy commenting, and free!

Tis lovely!

And thank you, love, for the props! <3

By: excavator

excavator — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 17:19:49 +0000

“How do I convey that when I really need help and he cannot complete a task, but only leaves chaos and crap in his wake that it only makes me resentful?”

Your second questioner said it so well. Interestingly, I’ve been in serious discussions at my middle-school child’s school about his trouble with task completion. Coincidence? I think not. I’ve got to do something about this and break the cycle for his someday wife. I can’t believe it’s an ‘in the genes’ thing. It’s called, “follow-through, guys!” Don’t you know that when you take short cuts to make life easier for you, you’re doing it at the expense of someone you love? Who is already overwhelmed? Complete the fucking circle!

This can be healed from, but not if the resentment that results from being dumped on is then resented.

A little bitterness leaking through, but it’s brought my marriage down. It’s all over but the formalities.

By: Joanna

Joanna — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:52:36 +0000

Hurry up and post that photo of the gay Hitler costume of yours! Cause, yeah, that’s what I have pictured in my mind. Your hints led me there, so it’s your fault.

By: Christina (Apron Strings)

Christina (Apron Strings) — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:49:14 +0000

1. I heart typepad. I do pay for it, but it’s not much.
2. Men will also suck when they get sick and are the only ones in charge of the children. My answer would be to lower your expectations-that way you won’t be disappointed.

By: Kristine

Kristine — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:34:21 +0000

Lack of an in house techie is exactly why I’m on blogger.

By: Caron

Caron — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:11:33 +0000

I have to say that wordpress is not all that friendly for commenters, unless of course it’s just myself that is totally effed up while commenting and I can’t seem to figure out how to do it. Many, many comments I leave disappear on wordpress blogs. I know now that this is because I have to (yes, even when the blog KNOWS who I am), hit submit twice. It used to make me feel like maybe I said something wrong and my comment was deleted, but my comments are so dull who could be offended?

By: Jacquie

Jacquie — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:38:53 +0000

Late to chime in on this, but it’s important so I will. Good advice to encourage the first person to call and make a report, and I just want to add that a phone call to your local CPS (Child Protective Services) office is scary but not terrifying. There will be a person on the other end of the line who can talk you through your observations and your doubts, who will ask you a ton of really specific questions and who will accept your answers for what they are – the concerns of a family member who is worried about the children. Once the info is out there in the cosmos, the decision about whether or not your suspicions were right is taken out of your hands, the agency will determine whether or not a visit is warranted. You need to keep an eye on it, God knows govn’t agencies are typically overworked and underfunded, but your burden will be shared and your suspicions will probably be validated. Good luck.

On the husband front, what I’ve learned over many moons is to be SPECIFIC. “honey, please bathe the child and then drain the tub and pick up the wet shit in the bathroom.” And also, to act sweetly surprised and thankful when/if he gets even remotely close to accomplishing the goal of the endeavor. They are simple, shallow beasts, these boys of ours. They thrive on repetition and positive reinforcement. Like puppies.

By: submom

submom — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:35:00 +0000

I should be doing something else I couldn’t resist to see whether you have a new post up, and you did! Great responses to your first question-sender (?) [I pray to all the forces out there that everything turns out ok for the nieces]. And indeed all states have mandatory child abuse and neglect reporting laws (or legal languages of some sort): so it actually is illegal if you know something and you choose to ignore it. Now about the 2nd question: I am sure I magically influenced the sender’s mind and had her post this question on your blog. It is the main source of our fights: if he “helped”, I can’t complain otherwise I am just an ungrateful biatch. I read once somewhere that men in this generation feel they have done enough in the house when compared to their fathers. *sigh*

By: catherine

catherine — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:22:47 +0000

About the useless husbands thing. See, even though multi-tasking on a computer was invented by a bunch of men (maybe, it’s a stretch) in real life, they’re not so good – read incapable – of multi-tasking.
If you asked him to bathe the kids, that’s what he did. Focused on that and forgot everything else. Once the kid is bathed, he thinks he’s done the job that you asked him to do.
Now, otoh, if you ask him to give the kid a bath, and “Honey, when you’re done, can you help me teach Insert-Kids-Name-Here how to leave the bathroom clean and tidy by List-Desired-Results-Here. It would be a huge help.”
Mostly they want to help, they just have no freaking idea how.