Dear Aunt Becky,
I am absolutely, positively sure my (future) brother-in-law is abusing my (future) nieces. If not physically, then mentally and emotionally.
However, I have pretty bad Pile of Crazy, including a long history of catastrophzing and some pretty severe PTSD from my physically, mentally, emotionally abusive (ex)father.
My (future) brother-in-law has done some things in front of me that his parents and/or wife have called him out for. My nieces get extremely upset at the idea of us leaving, but not so at the prospect of being left with us.
[identifying details removed to protect privacy]
Thanksgiving is coming up in a few weeks, and I’m dreading it. Either they won’t show up and I’ll spend the whole time obsessing over why, or they will show up and I’ll spend the whole time waiting for the bomb to go off.
How can I know for sure my nieces are safe?
Oh Gentle Reader, I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I hope that you are healing. Now, if you or anyone else out there suspects that someone is abusing a child, please don’t wait until you have proof. Report it.
Your state or county may have a number you can call to make an anonymous report. If not, below is the National Child Abuse Hotline.
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD is dedicated to the prevention of child abuse. Serving the United States, its territories, and Canada, the Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with professional crisis counselors who, through interpreters, can provide assistance in 170 languages. The Hotline offers crisis intervention, information, literature, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources.
All calls are anonymous and confidential.
I wish you the best of luck, Gentle Reader. I am sending my love and prayers to you and your nieces. Always.
And to you out there, living in my computer, please, if you or anyone you know is being abused, or you suspect abuse, do not wait for proof. Report it.
National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4A-CHILD
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Center on Elder Abuse: 1-800-677-1116
If someone is in immediate danger, of course, call 911.
Dear Aunt Becky,
How is it possible that every time a virus runs through our house my marriage also takes a hit? Is this some new bioterroist weapon?
My hubby is the best. Seriously, great guy, and I love him. But when I am dealing with our small children being sick, he becomes the most useless guy in the world.
For example, if I am tending to one sick child and he feeds the others (we are talking take out here), I will come downstairs to find all the uneaten food out, dishes everywhere, a heap of mail strewn throughout, and the overflowing garbage pails winking at me. If he bathes a child for me so I can tend to a sick sibling, I will find he has forgotten to drain the tub, and dirty clothes, wet towels and tub toys litter the bathroom.
Now, bringing home dinner and bathing children – to name just a few examples – make him feel like he is being the best, most helpful husband in the world. He is actually shocked to learn that I do not feel he has hung the moon.
How do I convey that when I really need help and he cannot complete a task, but only leaves chaos and crap in his wake that it only makes me resentful?
How can a virus infect both my children and my marriage??????
Resentful after Rotavirus
Well, apparently I am sending myself emails to Go Ask Aunt Becky while I sleep because that’s the only alternative. I cannot believe that there’s another The Daver out there who simply cannot manage to keep house without destroying it. This is precisely why I do not let him
Either that, or The Terrorists are winning and have somehow implanted some RNA into the Rotavirus that infects the host with The Apathy, rendering them entirely unable to wash a dish, put away a towel or drain a tub. By weakening the sanctity of our marriage, it will weaken us as a country and divided we will motherfucking FALL.
Hi! My blog is on Blogger, but I am thinking of changing over to Word Press. In your opinion, what are the pros and cons. I’m just starting out, but I already have some followers. How hard would it be to keep my followers while changing sites?
plus, how do i score an awesome layout like yours?
Oh, Delicate Grasshopper, I am probably the LAST person on the planet you want to answer this question but I enlisted my good friend Dr. Google and also The Daver to fill in any gaps. I cannot promise all of my knowledge is 100% correct, because I am about as good with computers as I am with bocce ball (read: not good at sports involving balls), but I will make an effort for YOU.
First. I have both. Because a lot of you have Blogger blogs that do not allow anonymous comments, I signed up. Here is my Blogger blog. You like my design over there? It was made by my friend Badass Geek. He designs those.
Anyway. Here is what I learned on my travels:
Blogspot blogs are free. Which is ALWAYS better than paying. Because OBVIOUSLY.
WordPress.com is also free and while I have a blog that uses the same software, I’m not entirely familiar with wordpress.com. I know the software, though.
Blogger blogs are easier to set up and use, which is good for a moron like me. Seriously, I set my own up in about 10 minutes which should tell you a WHOLE LOT.
WordPress blogs are much more customizable, but require a more extensive knowledge from someone who has a better knowledge of computer stuff than I do. Now, I could figure it out–so could you–if you wanted to and there are plenty of How-To Guides out there.
Custom templates are pretty cheap for Blogger blogs and there are tons of free sites out there that have really fun ones.
WordPress does have a standard subset of templates as well, but a lot of the third party templates don’t work with all of the web browsers (Internet Explorer, Safari, etc) and may just not work at all.
There are a ton of WordPress widgets and plug-ins that can be installed that do everything from greeting you with lines from “Sympathy for the Devil” or those that allow you to respond to comments via email. This is called Threaded Comments and it’s kind of my boyfriend.
Blogger doesn’t have many of these options.
Blogger, is owned by Google, and can be shut down at any time IF you violate their policies. I doubt that any of you do or will, but you ultimately don’t have full control, even if you’re still on your own domain but through their database.
With WordPress, you have full have control of your content.
Blogger loses major points with me when it comes to commenting. I’m sorry, my Blogger people, but your system sucks. I get probably 400-800 spam messages every day and they’re caught by my nifty plug-in and they do not require my people to sign in or try to translate ancient Cyrillic just to say, “I fucking love hate your blog, man.”
WordPress wins ease of commenting hands down. No one should have to have a Blogger account simply to comment and Blogger should offer some sort of spam filter better than the CAPCHA. I promise that loses you comments.
Really, the choice is yours. Both have their high points. I mean, who DOESN’T want to be greeted with “Hi Aunt Becky, please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man of wealth and taste?*”
There’s a way to redirect people from one address to another, or you can simply have people update their links by leaving a “SORRY, I DON’T LIVE HERE.” I know when I switched, Dave just had it redirect people from there to here and it worked well.
That, love, is beyond me.
Please, my friends in the computer, add in anything that I missed on any of these questions. Please.
If you read all of that, please, pour yourself a bourbon, dip a cookie in it (it’s 5:00 somewhere, right?), and then clap your hands together with glee. Because tomorrow, my loves, I have something for you. Something SPECIAL I promised you. And something I am delivering.
Something that I fully expect you to tease me relentlessly for.
So get your Depends on drink the fuck up.
*That was rhetorical.