Last week, I was watching American Idol* and admirably substituting “Becky” everywhere in the songs that they sung “Baby” which is ALWAYS what I do. Dave was laughing at me when he wasn’t grumbling about the lack of talent this year because that’s ALWAYS what he does.
(aside time!! When I started dating Daver, I likened our relationship to that of Mr. Wilson and Dennis the Menace. What’s most full of the awesome is that I was motherfucking RIGHT.)
Anyway, since I use all social media to be a moron, I decided to be annoying and tweet the pointless shit that I always do rather than the deep and purposeful shit that other people do. So I said something to the effect of “I always substitute “Becky” for “Baby” in songs because no one ever sings about a girl named Becky.”
Well, Twitter is fucking smart. And before I knew it, I had a kajillion responses that were all, “you know what, duder? There IS a Becky song.”
And they were fucking right. There is. Only if your name IS Becky, you don’t want to know it, I assure you. Like, you really don’t want to know it.
I’m embedding it here, but I am telling you RIGHT NOW, do NOT listen to it at work or around kids and if Aunt Becky is warning you, you know it’s bad. It’s SO dirty that even I blushed and that takes WORK.
Anyway, after I saw that, I went to Urban Dictionary to read about my name. What I saw made me immediately want to change my name.
1) to give a blow-job (apparently, white girls give the best blow jobs, for those of you who didn’t watch the Becky Song)
2) cocaine (that white girl Becky)
I’d always thought that Rebecca, my Hebrew name taken directly from the Bible from Rebecca, the wife of Issac, meant “to bind” and really that’s not all that sexy either. Often the “binding” part is in context with a noose. Wow. That’s hot. Rebecca makes you want to die.
So I’m sort of thinking it’s time to change my name to something that doesn’t mean:
I’m sort of batting 0/3 here with the meaning behind my name. And I can’t be all “oh, but my MIDDLE name is awesome, so I can go by that” because when I got married I LEGALLY dropped my middle name (Elizabeth) and switched to my maiden name (Sherrick). So unless I want to go by “Sherrick” I am pretty much in need of a whole name renovation.
But first, I’m gonna have to scour Urban Dictionary to make sure I’m not inadvertently renaming myself something that means “Cow Shit” or “I Love John Denver” something.
So, Pranksters what does YOUR name mean? Is it better than “blow job?”
*Shut up, like YOU don’t watch it, too.