After John C. Mayer came to my house and broke my van yesterday, because I’d forced John C. Mayer off The Twitter in a fit of Twitter Celebrity Blocking Rage, my day got infinitely weirder. I’ll spare you the gory details, but let’s say it involved trying to start a dead car by staring at the battery, scratching my ass, hoping that by sheer force of will, the battery would charge.

It didn’t. The John C. Mayer curse continued.

But then, because I suddenly had a brilliant flash of insight, I decided that I should see what happens when you stuff a post with the name John C. Mayer over and over again, like I did yesterday, when I wrote about how John C. Mayer had cursed me.

So I slipped “John C. Mayer” into the old Google Box and…

John C. Mayer's Publicist Hates Me.

Oh yes, out of 7,060,000 results, I am number 3 when you Google “John C Mayer.” I am right below his personal website and above his Wikipedia entry.

This, Pranksters, means that somewhere, John C. Mayer’s publicist is probably blowing an aneurysm. You have no idea the kind of money people pay to be this high on the search when you google something like John C. Mayer.

My life is officially complete, Pranksters. I only wish I could be Number One when you search Google for John C. Mayer.

But this, THIS Pranksters, brings me to what I think we need to do to The Internet this week. Pranking. John C. Mayer has taught me many things, up to and including, “not to fuck with John C. Mayer because John C. Mayer Karma is a MOTHERFUCKER.”

John C. Mayer has also taught me that messing with Google Search is full of the win.

Here is our mission for the week, Pranksters, should you choose to accept it, and it’s also a brief lesson on SEO tips (I was going to give you a lesson on Watermarking your Pictures in Picnik, but Picnik bit the bucket today because it’s buggy as hell) brought to you on behalf of Aunt Becky and her imaginary friend John C. Mayer:

Choose a Target you don’t normally talk about on your blog, and get yourself onto the front page of Google Search. You cannot choose John C. Mayer. He’s mine, Pranksters and I will cut you for John C. Mayer.

I’ll include a Mr. Linky at the bottom and next Wednesday, you, me, The Pranksters and John C. Mayer will meet back and compare notes. This is going to be EPIC!

Let’s begin, shall we?

SEO stands for Search Engine Optimization, which is a way of making your website more visible to Google or other search engines. It’s an internet marketing strategy and that people use to get their site to be on the first page when you search for things like “John C. Mayer.” Because people searching aren’t going to be digging through 8,000 pages to see what you wrote if you’re at the back of articles about John C. Mayer, they’re going to check the top couple pages that mention John C. Mayer.

People pay a fuckton of money to be on the first page of searches about their subject, like John C. Mayer, and to get on the first page by Pranking, well, I think this will be a delicious joke, Pranksters. John C. Mayer, I hope you approve.

The first thing you want to do is think about the things people might search for when they’re looking for your Target (like mine, John C. Mayer). If you choose a person, like John C. Mayer, maybe just a couple of John C. Mayer’s songs, like “Gravity,” or albums like “Battle Studies” or news items, “John C Mayer quits Twitter.”

These are the things you’re going to have to put into your post. If it’s a person, like John C. Mayer, or Justin Beaver, you can probably just stick with their name, but you want phrases, like John C. Mayer rather than single words, like douche, or dillhole.

If you choose a famous person, USE A MIDDLE INITIAL.

Use the phrases in the posts that you write about your target as often as you can. Like I did, when I wrote about the curse of John C. Mayer. I hadn’t INTENDED for the John C. Mayer Curse to turn into a Prank, but I think even John C. Mayer would approve of it. Plus, since you’re doing a Prank and not trying to actually draw readers about the Target for good, you can explain what you are doing to your readers. I’m pretty sure the Lovers of John C. Mayer are going to be pretty fucking pissed when they see what I’ve said about their beloved John C. Mayer.

Add some links to sites that include your Target, like their Wikipedia Page, nearish to the top of the article and name it as such. See, this is John C. Mayer’s Wikipedia page.

Submit your article to Digg, Stumble Upon, Twitter, Facebook, and all of those annoying social bookmarking sites. Do the same for the rest of the Pranksters that you see doing the same prank, so we can all work to support each other on this.

Add a picture to your posts, really, it doesn’t have to be a picture of your Target; it could be a picture of my fake cat Mr. Sprinkles, but name it Your Target’s Name. Like I named this picture John C. Mayer:

image John C Mayer
Mr Sprinkles + John C Mayer

Add tags to your post, too, with your Target’s name and all of the search terms you’re using in the post. I’ve added John C. Mayer tags to my post, even though I never tag my posts, just because I want to make sure that I give as many heart attacks to as many publicists as possible.

Cross link your posts, if you’re doing a series of posts about your Target. I linked back to my previous post about John C. Mayer and I’m doing it again here, just for effect. Apparently, Search Engines like it when you cross link between posts on the same website. And since I’m trying to increase my John C. Mayer Karma, why not?

I’m sure there are a kajillion other SEO tips, but since I normally don’t bother with the SEO stuff, I’ll let you fill in what YOU know the comments, Pranksters.

So, let’s get our PRANK on. Add your blog to the bottom Mr. Linky if you’re going to play along at home AND leave a comment letting us know who your target is, so we can laugh. Also, throw a John C. Mayer into the comments for me and let’s work together to Prank the Internet. This is going to be EPIC!

Thanks, John C. Mayer. I owe you one.

Comments

comments

269 thoughts on “For Being Pranksters, We Don’t Do NEARLY Enough Pranking. Right John C. Mayer?

    1. SEO is kind of for business, is my take on it, because really, I could stuff all my posts about vodka, but frankly, if I’m the #1 search for vodka, and you find me when you Google vodka, you’re not going to stay here. Because you’re not looking for my blog, you want booze.

      Now, I won’t stay on Google’s front page for John C. Mayer, because it’ll change, but for a week, I want to be John C. Mayer’s hero, baby. Oh, wait, did John C. Mayer sing that song?

        1. John C. Mayer and Kanye O. West will defy gravity together. We will have to continue talking about John C. Mayer and Kanye O. West once you get your post about Kanye O. West up. I look forward to reading about Kanye O. West.

  1. I can’t tell you how much I love this post and this idea. Putting my thinking cap on now about who/what I want to prank, although it probably won’t make it to my blog until Friday… Hope you magical widget is still available then!

    First page of google, here we all come!

  2. I tried this once. Sort of. I posted about Justin Bieber just to see if I’d get any traffic from crazy people searching for the Biebs on Google. It didn’t work. But I guess if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again!

  3. i was going to pick my nose and watch a movie this afternoon. but participating in the john c. mayer karma-prank program sounds like a lot of fun. now i have to try to think of an appropriate target, since john c. mayer is already taken.

    i don’t personally hate john c. mayer. i think he’s pretty funny. i also think that john c. mayer would probably approve of this.

    not that it matters what john c. mayer says, because you’re aunt motherfucking becky.

    1. John C. Mayer would love this idea, I think, and I’d bet that John C. Mayer would approve of pranking the Internet, because frankly, I think the Internet could use more pranking these days.

      How about Rob Thomas?

        1. Oh my God Rob Thomas’ middle name is Kelly. Permission to just say Rob Kelly Thomas instead of Rob K Thomas? What and I saying I haven’t even decided if I’m doing Rob Kelly Thomas yet. I mean not ACTUALLY DOING Rob Kelly Thomas, just for the prank see? You don’t get what I’m saying? You know who would? Rob Kelly Thomas… that’s who.

        1. i completely ruined it. a google search for william m. joel returns WAY over 6 million pages. i should have chosen someone else. i have failed you. and will now ingest mid-morning snacks as penance.

  4. This is so entirely full of the awesome. John C. Mayer should be proud of you. I have 2 old posts I did ranting about Lelli Kelly shoes and I still get hits daily from people searching for them, the make up phone, or for some kind of knock off of them.

  5. Delicious. I love it. And hopefully the John C. Mayer karma will stay away today. Because the John C. Mayer prank is priceless. And since John C. Mayer seems to like jokes (see John C. Mayer’s long list of past loves)…I’m sure John C. Mayer will find this much to his liking. Rock on, Aunt Becky…may you win the John C. Mayer award of SEO fabulousness. (is too a word)

  6. Aunt Becky, you are my hero. And a fucking genius. Now, who to prank John C. Mayer style? It has to be someone fairly recognizable without being overly recognizable. Now I’ll have something to think about this afternoon instead of you know, working.

  7. Damn you, Aunt Becky! I was trying to get into a routine of writing on Tuesdays and Thursdays. And then you go ahead and hatch an genius, evil plan like this. Well, this baby weight is going to stay off by itself, so now I’ll have to think of a Target while my Wii Sports Active Trainer is yelling at my to hold my squats longer. Oh, one more thing: John C. Mayer is a total TOOL!

  8. John C. Mayer….does talking about your beloved John C. Mayer in the comments bring your John C. Mayer hits higher on the John C. Mayer search engine? Like I said, Your Body Is A Wonderland totally made me want to make out with a girl who did in fact have a bubblegum tongue. But otherwise, the song, like you said…isn’t really full of good content. Would John C. Mayer approve? Would John C. Mayer fans like what I have to say about frenching another girl? What would John C. Mayer think?

    1. I’m pretty sure the more you mention pulling a John C. Mayer, the better it is for my SEO traffic about JOHN C. MAYER. But I dropped to number five today, and I’m feeling discouraged and perhaps a little sad about John C. Mayer.

  9. I laughed so hard when I saw that tweet yesterday. I am totally in. Now, who to choose…maybe Jacki Evancho, ’cause it doesn’t seem fair that a 10-year-old would be that talented….I’ll think on this one.

  10. SEO is also based on the number of hits that a site gets; Google assumes that a site that gets a lot of visitors must be legitimate. Therefore you want as many people as possible (from unique IP addresses) to visit your site to add “legitimacy” to your page.

    I also want to reiterate what Aunt Becky already said: Google values external links for establishing validity. So besides all the social networking pages, try and get as many friends or readers as possible to also post links to your page on their page, as this will increase your legitimacy with Google and push you higher in the search results.

    I am not nearly creative enough to participate in this great prank. But I shall be happy to post links for y’all and hope that this information helps you! Happy pranking!

    1. These are great SEO tips for pulling a John C. Mayer. I don’t know much about pulling a John C. Mayer on Yahoo or Bing, but Google, I seem to understand. Although I dropped to number five last night, which means that someone got mad at me for pulling a John C. Mayer.

      1. I am telling you that I laughed for about an hour about this. No, I did. My neighbors probably thought I was insane, because I was howling at you calling him “Newton Leroy Gingrich.” PULL A JOHN C. MAYOR ON THE FUCKWAD.

  11. This rocks so hard. I’m sure John C. Mayer is totally jealous of all the John C. Mayer hits you’re getting on your John C. Mayer posts.

  12. I’ve been meaning to a review of this book series of horrible yet delicious mysteries by Joanne Fluke and I think you have given me reason to finally sit my ass down, get the dozen or so books linked up and write the review, mentioning the first book and author many many times, since the first book was good and the rest sucked.

    A legitimate book review post AND a prank! It’s win-win for everyone

  13. EPIC FUCKING WIN! Yes! I’m going to think of someone, but not John C. Mayer or Kayne O. West… but it will be amazing. Oh yes. Fuck eating a tub of ice cream today or having sex with random strangers… it’s Blog Your Ass Off time and we’re going to do this! Thanks, Aunt Becky, for rubbing some of your John C. Mayer Karma off on us!

  14. OMF John C. Mayer, Bex! I so needed this – my blog has grown dust for the last couple of weeks, so I’m totally into trying my hand at this John C. Mayer prank. Mr Realist has to work uberlate, so I have nothing better to do (scrub the tub? wash clothes? are you kidding?).

    Except David Paul Boreanaz is mine. He’s my John C. Mayer with the exception that he doesn’t sing and he doesn’t annoy me and he hasn’t cursed me (yet) – I just want to fuck his brains out and then have a zombie David Paul Boreanaz who wants follows me around to eat my fucking brains. Well, he might curse me while I’m retracting said brains, but it’ll be in a dirty, “you’re my whore” kind of way. 🙂

    1. You may absolutely have David Paul Borneanaz, so long as you leave my Google Search thing to John C. Mayer, because I’m already all over the John C. Mayer searches since I tried to reverse my John C. Mayer curse yesterday.

    2. While I’m not sure I can get on board with the David Paul Boreanaz zombie thing, I certainly agree that David Paul Boreanaz deserves to join John C. Mayer. Even more, I wish David Paul Boreanaz would join me, but as neither John C. Mayer nor David Paul Boreanaz are likely to do so, I will have to go for Nathan C. Fillion of Castle. I really enjoy the work of Nathan C. Fillion, such as Firefly, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-along Blog and Castle. I hope Nathan C. Fillion enjoys being John C. Mayer-ed.

  15. I agree that that wonderland song by John C. Mayer is pretty awful, but “Neon” by John C. Mayer, on the very same John C. Mayer album, is really, really terribly good.

      1. Oh, Becky, I would never take John C. Mayer. John C. Mayer is all yours and yours alone. I did mine and it is about the elderly love of my life, Robert Loggia and how he won’t friend me on Facebook. I was unsuccessful in getting my page on the first page of the Google when you type in Robert Loggia though. Darn. Hey, I see a trackback at the bottom. How do I do that?

        1. Add a link to this post, I think, is how you get a trackback to this post about John C. Mayer. You want to get as many hits to your post about Robert Loggia as possible. Like I am doing to John C. Mayer. Perhaps you can write about Robert Loggia again.

          Also: add the link to that post to the post about pulling a John C. Mayer today and I will put it in the MIDDLE of the post about John C. Mayer.

  16. I think we should make the phrase “John C. Mayer” into something.. like “I totally pulled a John C. Mayer” on the internet”. Or “Someone just John C. Mayered me”. I mean other people have those, so why can’t John C. Mayer have one too. I bet John C. Mayer would love it!

  17. I think John C. Mayer is going to love you and want to run around without his John C. Mayer pants on.

    I got so freakin’ excited about the whole John C. Mayer prank, I totally got sidetracked from the whole point of the John C. Mayer idea and forgot to say something in my last John C. Mayer post.

    John C. Mayer.

    1. That’s awesome because I love to say John C. Mayer and people are going to be searching for John C. Mayer and coming across this post for a long, long time and wondering who the shit dropped me on my head as a kid and the answer is, of course:

      John C. Mayer.

  18. Is this where I say John C. Mayer over and over again in order to help you stay on the first page?

    Because I can totally work John C. Mayer into a bunch of sentences.

    Even if it doesn’t make sense to say John C. Mayer in them.

    I will do it anyway, all for John C. Mayer.

    John C. Mayer and you, of course.

    1. That’s pretty much all you need to do. Please help me by saying “John C. Mayer” over and over because I was at number two for John C. Mayer and really, I want to be number one for awhile when people search for John C. Mayer. Because I want to win at Google John Mayering and stuff. Like John Mayer.

    1. There are so many douchy celebs out there. B-list celebs are where it’s at, like John C. Mayer, not like Justin “dickface” Bieber, because really, that’s not worth bothering. Not like John C. Mayer.

      John C. Mayer is ALWAYS worth the hassle of stuffing his name in my comments like I’m doing.

  19. I can’t wait to see if you and John C. Mayer make it into the # space. How ingenious! I don’t even know what to post about John C. Mayer, so I can avoid your “if you write about John C.Mayer, I’ll cut you” wrath.

    I’ll have to see who I can write about- But I’m totally linking to your page in my blog today!

    1. I am not sure what else I can write about John C. Mayer except to maybe mention John C. Mayer a lot in my comments because frankly, besides HATING on John C. Mayer, there’s not much I can do with him. Except title everything from my blog, “John C. Mayer” this week.

  20. Gosh, writing about Matthew P. Damon was more fun than I thought! I’m so glad that John C. Mayer has led you to internet-wide pranking. What on earth would I have clacked about if John C. Mayer wasn’t a human on our planet?!

  21. FUCKING A, DUDE! It worked! I just googled up Matthew P. Damon and – hells yeah – I’m on top! Sure, it was only out of 320,000 (nothing compared to your level of awesomeness) but it’s a start!

    1. Yes. YES! *pumps fists* Benjamin Folds is a PERFECT choice for this project and another one I think would be flattered that we’d chosen him. Like John C. Mayer. Flattered, or take out a restraining order (who cares?).

      1. And as an added bonus, he has a new album coming out on September 28th so I get an opportunity to totally fuck with, and out-SEO, a record company.

        Ben…..brilliant.

        Nonesuch Records, a division of Elektra Records, a division of Warner Bros……die.

        1. Benjamin Folds new record will be an epic seller. Please, add your link to this post about Benjamin Folds to the post above about “Pulling a John C. Mayer” so that we can all access this post about Benjamin Folds.

  22. Who, Aunt Becky, who?

    Who could I write a post about?

    The options seem limitless, yet there’s an art to the choice.

    On my teeny-tiny blog I couldn’t possibly enter the first page of, say, Vice President Biden’s Google search. Though I do have a friend looking for a wealthy political man to keep a side piece, so I’d have something to talk about.

    I could probably dominate the original Steve from Blue’s Clues page, as he dated a friend of mine for a while. And that’d be an interesting post, as said friend is a fetish model. But I try and stay away from porn on my blog, at least porn that doesn’t star me, and having seen photos of my friend naked would hate to have that comparison lodged in people’s brains.

    Then there’s the obvious choice – Cary Grant. He’s both a gigantic star, and one without a strong Internet presence, thanks to that whole “being born in a crappy era” issue. And I would do him, given a time machine and a chance, so I’d have something to write about.

    But I’m just a fickle woman who can’t make up her mind.

    So like all women suffering from that problem, I’ll probably end up settling for Seth Rogen.

  23. p.s.~ I tried to go and look at the blogs on Mr. Linky, and most of those posts don’t seem to be about a famous person.

    Am I too stupid for Mr. Linky?

    ‘Cause even that sentence makes my soul cry.

    And my soul is tough.

    It told Marley and Me to suck it.

    True story.

    1. Your soul isn’t as tough as John C. Mayer who kicks puppies, even though he sang, “I know the heart of life is good.”

      Also: they may not be up yet. The posts about celebs. Like John C. Mayer.

    2. You are not too stupid I have the same problem, the only one I see that is “pranky” is about Matt Damon?!?!?
      Thank you John C. Mayer

  24. I am not going to choose a person, but I have an idea. 🙂 Oh happiness, I’ve been having writers block and this is a god send, thanks Aunt Becky!

    1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! PLEASE, link back here with your idea so that John C. Mayer and the rest of the Pranksters may see it. Also, the link will increase SEO visibility and get you on the front page more easily. And, obviously, JOHN C. MAYER.

  25. I don’t have the time, energy or talent to write a blog. I can however mention John C. Mayer in this one’s comments. John C Mayer may get a kick out of all this if he’s as witty as you say. John C. Mayer may also want you to shut your whore mouth, or else he’ll break more of your stuff, but hey, if John C. Mayer can’t take a prank, who can?

  26. How awesome are you? Well, I’d say more awesome than John C. Mayer, that’s for sure!

    I am going to have to lay dibs on Jeffery Dean Morgan, I think.

    1. Oh, do not forget to link back to Gwyneth K. Paltrow in the links here AND with Mr. Linky so we can visit you. This will increase your traffic and your ability to get to the first page on Google. Thereby, we can all win.

      Like John C. Mayer, and his single “The Heart of Life” which we know, Suniverse, we know the heart of life is GOOD!

      BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

  27. Okay, so if I go to Google and search Adam M. Lambert I don’t show up at least on the first two pages, but BUT if I click on the link on the bottomish of the page that says “Blogs about Adam M Lambert” the page that comes up next…there is a link to my blog about Adam M Lambert!. It’s on the bottom of the “Blog” page of links, but it’s something for a little ole blogger like me, right??!!

    1. You must continue this blogging about Adam M. Lambert. All week, continue blogging about Adam M. Lambert. Link back to this article about John C. Mayer and so we can come visit you through that link which should bring your blog search about Adam M. Lambert higher up. Like my article about John C. Mayer.

  28. While I already posted, your blog always thinks I’m a blog if I use my iPad to post here..so its waiting in the wings.. I just had to come back and say..John C. Mayer can bite it..

    Oh, and why the hell did I pick Jeffrey Dean Morgan? I have no idea about him..now I have to go research (Aw..shucks..heh).

    1. Jeffrey Dean Morgan sounds like a super-secret super spy, unlike my John C. Mayer who is just a love master, master of love, baby. Yep, that’s my John C. Mayer.

      Be sure to link back here with that specific post URL. You want a bunch of links about your Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

  29. John C. Mayer may make a SHOW and have YOU, our favorite Aunt, ON IT. If so, he should name it “John C. Mayer invented Douche Rock” and have Rob Thomas and his feel good buddies on it.

  30. My fingers couldn’t type fast enough! I am writing this post tonight, or tomorrow. Depending on my level of creativity tonight. You know who has a lot of creativity, John C. Mayer. Well I think, some people would argue that John C. Mayer reached his peak singing songs like Your Body is a Wonderland. Which was a great song by John C. Mayer.

    I think I’m going to pick Sophia A. Bush from One Tree Hill. Does it help if I include her characters name from One Tree Hill? Brooke P. Davis? And if I repeat the name of her show time and time again?

    Oh I can’t wait to write this post.

    It sounds like a good time.

    Sorta like John C. Mayer.

    1. I think it helps if you pick phrases about the show One Tree Hill that Sophia A. Bush was on, cast members, etc. Didn’t John C. Mayer sing a song about bushes? Or maybe John C. Mayer just liked bushes. IDK. John C. Mayer seems like a bush loving guy. Like Sophia A. Bush.

      I’m DYING to hear about your experiences John Mayering Sophia A. Bush tomorrow. Please, link us on this John C. Mayer post. In the comments and Mr. Linky.

  31. Oh man. I love a good prank more than anything else. I’m 110% in. My blog is small, but I’m a force to be reckoned with. Whoever I target best watch out…

    I kind of want to go after John R. Edwards (aka “Johnny Edwards”). Also, who uses John as a nickname for Johnny? An assclown, that’s who…

    1. EXACTLY MY POINT. I think Johnny Edwards is the perfect Target for pranking. I cannot wait to read this post. Please, be sure to link it in the comments on this here John C. Mayer post and we shall John C. Mayer him tomorrow.

  32. Yesterday I wrote a post about Billy Ray Cyrus, it’s scheduled for tomorrow so I went in and John C Mayer’ed it up, just like Aunt Becky suggested. Now I’m hoping tomorrow, with our help maybe John C Mayer and ole’ Billy Ray just may blow up google!

    1. Oh, I think that so long as we can John C. Mayer your Billy Ray Cyrus post, and LINK IT UP HERE and at Mr. LINKY so we can read it and comment and stuff (Pranking only works if we do it together), we can John Mayer the entire internet.

  33. Meh, I don’t care where John C. Mayer shows up on google… he still sucks. I’m so saddened that you’ve given up hope on your hatred of him. *i’m tearing up as we speak* Don’t abandon us!

  34. Oh hey… I just realized I played all wrong. MY target is assbag drivers who suck a fart ( outta my ass) NOW, hopefully Ive played right.

  35. My person of choice is Chuck Norris. I didn’t use his real name, Carlos R. Norris because it didn’t make any sense. Who the hell looks up Carlos Ray Norris? Probably not a single damn person. But people best recognize Chuck Norris or he will roundhouse kick you in the face.

  36. Hmm. I have no idea who I could John C. Mayer on my blog. I’ll have to think about that. Perhaps Val E. Kilmer, but it would be completely complementary because, despite the awful things that some say about him — which seems to be something he has in common with John C. Mayer — I love Val E. Kilmer. I’m looking forward to seeing Val E. Kilmer in MacGyver as soon as that film is available on Netflix.

    Wow, that wasn’t so hard.

    John C. Mayer and Val E. Kilmer could make an album together. Val E. Kilmer has written songs before and, as anyone who has seen Top Secret! knows, he can certainly sing well. Oh, and there was that Doors movie too. Mmm. Val E. Kilmer.

    And just for Aunt Becky, “John C. Mayer”.

  37. I’m in! Tomorrow I’ll be writing about my rock & roll husband, James Alan Hetfield. Who is more rock & roll than John C. Mayer.

  38. Well I’d like to John c Mayer my asshat neighbor of the gun standoff with police fame but I don’t think that would accomplish much. So I’m thinking I may do the Hoff, especially as he is about to debut on dancing with the stars. ( in case it was unclear by do I do not mean have sex with, I mean abuse on google.)

  39. Well I’d like to John c Mayer my asshat neighbor of the gun standoff with police fame but don’t think that would accomplish much. So I’m thinking I may do the Hoff, especially as he is about to debut on dancing with the stars ( in case it’s not clear by do I do not mean sleep with, I mean abuse for the benefit of myself and google.)

  40. hysterical idea. love it.

    i might just have to steal this post, and put it on my blog, and then I’ll be in competition with you on google, AND have you write a post about me blasting me for plagarism. it would be a banner day

  41. This is the most awesome of awesome ideas EVER. I am totally going to John C. Mayer Perez A Hilton! That would make me happy, like almost as happy as wine or xanax but not quite. More like, as happy as unicorns and rainbows.

  42. This is hilarious! I love this idea…it’s a prank on the whole effin interwebs! I want Jason F. Brown (Colt Ford), cause I gosta stay true to the redneck roots. Also? I have no idea how to write his name that many times without sounding crazy.

    John C. Mayer.

    And PS I love your John C. Mayer idea. John C. Mayer would be so proud of you that he would want you to change your name to John C. Mayer so that people would confuse the two of you just so that John C. Mayer could be as full of The Funny as Aunt Becky. Mwuah!

  43. I love it! Fucking LOVE this idea! So, I did it. Yes, Aunt Becky, I did it. Say hello, a lot, to James W. Marsters! He might not be as much fun as John C. Mayer, But is way fun!!
    Now, I hope that James W. Marsters and John C. Mayer dont get drunk a lot together, cause then my car might be totally fucked!!!! Someone should think of a drink, and name it John C. Mayer, cause.. obviously!

    you are the BEST!!

    http://garyandandra.blogspot.com/2010/09/i-think-i-love-you-james-w-marsters.html

    1. Also, this was the first attempt at adding James W. Marsters links and things to a blog, only because I very rarely write on it! Although It doesnt yet appear on Google, I will be making a point to write a ton more about James W Marsters, and not John C. Mayer. Only because I do not find John C. Mayer worth getting You all pissed and stuff. And James W. Marsters? Sure.

      This is awesome!!

  44. I gotta be honest, Aunt Becky, I kind of love John C. Mayer’s pot-smoking ass. And his music is good for those chill times. And pot smoking, I suppose. Ha ha! Aunt Becky rox John C. Mayer’s SOCKS.

  45. After some thought I am changing my mind! Ok. To be honest I had a random thought out of the middle of freakin’ no where.
    Chelsea Joy Handler is going to be my new best friend. She just doesn’t know it yet.

    1. That will be awesome! I can’t wait for the link to that. Chelsea Joy Handler is going to love you. She may even get you on her show! Maybe you could take the douche rocker John C. Mayer with you.

  46. Man, I LOVE it when the Internet gets psychic. I’d written this thing last night about how Val Kilmer may or may not have had the clap at some point (though he was a total manslut once I bet so probably) and my connection was buggy so I couldn’t post until this morning. Then I see Aunt Becky’s call to arms, so to speak.

    (PS I am not trying to start a Val Kilmer/STD campaign. This is just what happens to me when I watch bad movies and drink wine by myself.)

    Right, John C. Mayer?

  47. Ok, so I initially thought about doing Rob Thomas, but just in case the person Aunt Becky suggested him to wanted to do it I decided not to. Then I thought of John C Riley, but since he already goes by that full name, the middle initial thing wouldn’t be nearly as effective. Then I thought of doing Mel C. G. Gibson, but anything I write on him would not be flattering and he may come kill me. So I’ve settled on Russell I. Crowe. I is for Ira. So yeah, think I’m going to go with that and see how I make out. This should be fun. For the record, I hate Russell Crowe.

    HM

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  49. I just wanted to say that my ex-girlfriend went to high school with John C. Mayer. They were in the same home room. So, in the land of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon I can connect myself to John C. Mayer and all of his lady friends pretty quickly. I wish I had time to John C. Mayer someone before I leave for vacation!

  50. I totally pulled another John C. Mayer today on my page and made another post about Adam M. Lambert. Funny thing is that when I Googled some form of his name (can’t remember which) your page came up ahead of mine. Mine was nowhere in sight. However, when I did another search of Adam M. Lambert, mine came up somewhere near five. Also, I’ve mentioned John C. Mayering people on other pages who have left linky’s. You’re going to be Number ONE!

  51. Lol, maybe I didn’t read the John C. Mayer instructions carefully enough because I forgot to comment….oh, hopefully I will get this right since Paul W. Walker IV needs some attention. Although I have to say it’s not nearly as funny or creative as many of you!!

  52. So I am thinking about this devilish John C. Mayer’ing idea you planted in my brain and I am thinking I need to target a French person with whom the rise to the top might be easier. You know, someone like John C. Mayer who could enjoy this prank-sting joke as much as John C. Mayer did.
    I will take votes on Twitter. Need your help Aunt Becky to find out who in the kingdom of France deserves, according to your Pranksters, to get John C. Mayer ‘ed.
    Brain is steaming with ideas…!!

  53. I hope that others are as interested in Gerard J. Butler as I am.

    lol

    I hope this one doesn’t backfire and I lose one of my only 10 precious followers. If they don’t read the linkback to this post, I am fucked and they will think I am even *MORE* batshit crazy than I am!!!

    How long does it take to show up, me wonders?

    1. I also totally forgot to mention that John C. Mayer would probably approve of the post, but I bet that John C. Mayer would be all jealous of Gerard and stuff, because John C. Mayer is such a douchebag most of the time.

      Did I mention I saw John C. Mayer in concert while he was dating Team Aniston? So it sort of seemed okay? Now I am ashamed that I paid to watch John C. Mayer in concert.

      Should we be googling each other’s posts?

  54. I am sad. Google no longer cares that Ben Folds stole my new Twitter. For awhile, yesterday, they cared that I blogged about Ben Folds. Then some other non ‘you’ve been John C. Mayer-ed’ site took over the #1 spot on the Google blog page.
    But I will don my ‘you’ve been John C. Mayer-ed’ t-shirt and press on. I’m not going to let Google, or John C. Mayer, or Ben Folds get me down!

  55. Well Aunt Becky … you now have your first DOUBLE John C. Mayer over on my blog. Quite the hoot, I’m definitely going to pull a john c. mayer WHENEVER I get the chance.

  56. I pranked the entire Tea Party! I sure hope it makes it to the top, that would really get a few panties in a wad. lol 😛

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  58. I’m doing a series of 3 blog articles about Fair Trade, Organic and Biodynamic tea. It’s kind of dry, and to make it more fun, I’m having Soulja Boy teach each topic.

  59. The John C. Mayer Project is something I am definitely on-board to do. The hard part will be choosing my Target. John C. Mayer is a fabulous choice. How will I ever even compete with John C. Mayer? We’ll see, I guess. Sure wish I would have thought of John C. Mayer first.

  60. I have been reading all of your entries (and I do mean all of them. I was going to make my way to the most recent post and then comment, but I had to tell you that you are the number two result when googling John C. Mayer!), and I find them hilarious! But you are not only witty, you have the ability to express any emotion in your writing, be it deep sorrow or extreme elation.

  61. So I’m working through your archives, and I thought I’d check on your progress. 10 or so months after the fact, you’re still in the top 5, with extra points for being responsible for 2 of the top 5 for John C Mayer.

    Aunty Becky, you’re seriously the best. even more than giant metal chickens.

  62. You’re so awesome! I don’t believe I’ve truly read a single thing like that before. So nice to find another person with genuine thoughts on this subject. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This website is one thing that’s needed on the internet,
    someone with some originality!

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