After a painful week of weaning Alex off of the juice (no, silly, not THAT kind of juice), it appears that I am finally victorious, because now, his appetite has returned with ridiculous force. The kid has always eaten like a champ without really being one of those hugely fat children often featured on Maury, having received the genetic gift of an awesome metabolism from his father, and food in my house is becoming more of an issue.
Primarily because the kid appears to be giving us a glimpse of life with a teenager. I literally cannot keep up with his eating schedule, and what’s worse is that many of the fuller foods I’d normally try and feed him are completely inedible for someone without teeth.
I’ve been wracking my brain trying to come up with some foods that he is able to eat that will keep him full for more than an hour at a time. You read that right: he’s eating the equivalent of what I eat for a meal every single hour that he’s awake (and I am thankful that it’s not overnight as well, because one of the last things I want to do at 3 AM is to feed my child a bowl of cheerios and milk.). I mean, I guess I could start covering everything he eats with a generous layer of butter and/or Crisco, but somehow with his genetic propensity toward heart disease in general, that seems like a poor decision.
Whole milk would be the obvious choice, but he won’t drink a drop of the stuff without chocolate syrup, and forget the breastmilk, he’s TOTALLY over it. Short of giving him his very own G-tube, I’m pretty much tapped out of high fat/high calorie foods that he’ll eat. Mainly because he’s EATEN IT ALL ALREADY.
While I am pleased that this is a food issue of a completely different color, and he’s eating more than a couple of dust bunnies and toenail clippings each day, I’m just trying to figure out how on Earth to leave the house without causing a fit when his blood sugar drops. Every hour. On the hour.
I guess it’s just time to pray to the God of Teeth that he suddenly pops a few out. I mean, shit, he’s old enough for ‘em.