Last week was pretty much the best week ever. It was one of those weeks where everything, for once, just fell into place. Even my therapist and I joked, “you’d better watch out for falling anvils this week.”

So far this week hasn’t been the absolute antitheses of last but I do have a case of the Bluey-Blues. It’s mostly related, I think, to a migraine that I’ve had since Saturday. I’m tired of migraines and after awhile I do end up feeling kind of sad. Pain has a way of doing that to you, I guess.

Last night, I was determined to make myself feel better in the only way I know how: bedazzling things.

Now, you all know that Your Aunt Becky is not crafty, right Pranksters? If I tried to bedazzle anything, I’d end up gluing my face to the wall or accidentally bedazzling my cat. I’m not crafty. I’ll never be crafty. I’m okay with this.

So when I popped onto The Twitter and said that I was going bedazzle something, and quickly, I meant that I was going to BUY something sparkly. Because, OBVIOUSLY.

My go-to thing to buy when I’ve come down with a case of the bluey-blues are necklaces. I’m a fan of proFANity, but I’m also a huge fan of things that make me sparkle like a diamond. Pretty sure I’m part crow. Or magpie. Or, at the very least, octopus.

I’d been meaning to buy a Becky Necklace to match my Becky Belt for years. Last night, I thought happily to myself, was the night! The necklace, though, had to be sparkly (not real diamonds, of course), unlike my belt, which is a drab silver. That was my one stipulation, and I figured that would be no big deal.

I set my happy fingers to google and went to work.

I found many websites where I could easily make a “BECKY” necklace. That wasn’t going to do. I required bling.

I found a website where I could make a BECKY necklace out of diamonds. That also would not do. (if I am going to make a horrifyingly tacky necklace out of diamonds, I will go to the diamond district, thank you)

I found a website where I could add a single crystal to my BECKY necklace. Also, not enough.

It seemed that absolutely nowhere could create the masterpiece that I wanted. I simply couldn’t believe it. Certainly, I was not the only tack-a-rific person out there.

The best I came across was this:

I mean, not the Corinne, but “BECKY” because, obviously. But those aren’t crystals, they’re bits of silver. Which photographed well, but I’m not sure it will be as full of the awesome under the the lights of day. Which make me wonder, is it living up to it’s full bling potential? I can’t be sure.

Google, you’ve failed me. My bluey-blues have returned where they could have been easily fixed by a tacky necklace with my name in blinged out letters.

That makes me full of the bluey-blues, Google.

P.S. Pretty sure I’ve lost all “Becky” privileges. I will forever be known as Aunt Becky. EITHER WAY, I WANT A BLINGY NECKLACE WITH MY NAME ON IT, GOOGLE.

47 thoughts on “(fake) Ice, Ice Baby

  1. You should totally turn this post into a “pulling a John C. Mayer” on Google. People googling google only to find your blog,.. Hehe. That would pay google back for failing you. 🙂

  2. You should totally turn this post into a “pulling a John C. Mayer” on Google. People googling google only to find your blog,.. Hehe. That would pay google back for failing you. 🙂

  3. Just give Amelia the glue gun and the rhinestones, and I’m sure she’ll come up with a fabulous design. After all, she is the second most responsible person in the house (after The Daver, of course, and he’s busy working). 😉

    1. I LOL’d… really. And then I had this vision… Aunt Becky walking around with one of those babies around her neck, and then I paired it up with the story she wrote about going to the sex toy convention and trying to find a sparkly butt plug or something, but the I couldn’t find the article. I fail.

      But it was funny at the time.

  4. I kinda want a Becky necklace too. Not to copy you necessarily. But since we share a name I guess it’s okay. I’m not that into the bling. As long as it looks cheap and tacky I’m all in.

  5. You could always ask her to take a photo of her with one on in normal daylight and with no post-processing. Though, I have had bad experiences with etsy people never responding to my messages regarding seeds for planting. Maybe it is just the farmers who are jerks.

  6. That is the cutest one I’ve seen. And for sure the blingiest, without having the real diamonds of course. If you squint while looking at it, it looks just like pave set diamonds…

  7. Guess you’ll have to go with your old standby…the va-jay-jay necklace. I bet the person who makes those would be willing to vajazzle it for you…just a thought.

  8. You will post photos when you get that bling, right? Don’t forget to wear your purple fedora with the huge-ass feather in the photo. Gotta complete the outfit, you know.

  9. Oh, Becks, you made me laugh.

    Sorry I haven’t been around much lately. It’s not because I don’t worship you. It’s every fucking thing else. It’s just…yeah. Anyway.

    I trust that the Internet will shower you with Becky Bling, but if you ever want an apron that says “Who wants a weiner?” complete with applique sausages, I’m your girl.

  10. Hi Aunt Becky! loveyouloveyourblog.. newish reader, first-time-commenter.. ha ha.
    Try her: (owner) She is so awesome, and can make you a necklace with WHATEVER YOU WANT on it. its not sparkly, persay, its mirrored… but is way tacky and super curly and fun! She’d probably even make you a “shut your whore mouth” necklace. That would make me laugh…

  11. Hi Becky,

    I am from the marketing department at

    I would love to send you over a “Becky” necklace to show on your blog, or any other inscription you want on our personalized necklaces.

    Please send me an email, and we can hash out the details to send you a necklace.


  12. There is a store in North Texas called Sam Moon Trading Company. I think. They have all kinds of bedazzalled (I can’t spell) in there. If you come to Texas I’ll take you but not on a weekend because there is not enough Xanax in the world to get me into that store on a Saturday. Maybe on a Tuesday around 10? I’ll buy you lunch afterwards.

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