As I’d assumed would be the case, because everything requires that it be turned to Maximum Humiliation Factor, it turns out that after a visual and fluid check of my privates, I have merely peed myself. And then taken myself to the hospital in order to pay someone to tell me so.

I couldn’t be happier to be incontinent. There’s a phrase, along with My Bowel Prep, or visiting my father in the ICU I never thought I’d use. And yet, here I am. Happy to be pissing my pants.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

30 Responses to Dx: Idiot

  • kalakly says:

    One word…Depends

  • LilSass says:

    It looks as though my previous comment left others to think you were actually doing the L&D part of L&D. So ugh … congratulations on not being in labor and merely pissing yourself. Or something

  • THIS is the shit that no one tells you about pregnancy.

  • Sarah says:

    Ha ha! I totally did the same thing. I paged my midwives at like 2am and told them my water had broken. Of course, it did turn out, after a ferning test, pH test and an NST that I had, in fact, just peed my pants. Fortunately it seems to happen so often that they don’t seem think twice about it.

  • Sillycakes says:

    *whew*

  • Everybody pees their pants. It’s the cooooolest!

  • Mrs.spit says:

    Nice. .. . . .

  • Betts says:

    I couldn’t cough, sneeze, laugh or fart at the end without peeing my pants. If all women were told about this stuff ahead of time, no one would have babies.

  • Rachel says:

    It’s okay, I sometimes feel like peeing myself just to stay warm on a cold morning.

    And kegels don’t help, so don’t bother.

  • tash says:

    So I did something akin to this (they told me it was my plug? But some people’s are watery? Or somesuch?) and 48 hours later I had a baby. that’s all I’m saying.

  • Ms. Moon says:

    My advice: Get some litmus strips.
    And it was wise of you to go into the hospital to be checked and you know it.

  • CLC says:

    Thanks for making me laugh. And I am sure you won’t be the last one to do this…

  • did you at least get your free lollipop ;)

  • The Mommy says:

    I once waited so long to see my OB (you know, naked from the waist down with a paper sheet over me) that I was sweating enough “down there” that they had to check to make sure my water hadn’t broken. You decide…more or less humiliating?

  • Jenn says:

    I was told that if it smelled like semen, it was prolly amniotic fluid. How’s that for “full circle”?

    PS: I did that with all 3 kids. Luckily for me, it was 3 different birth attendants so no one person thought I was bat shit crazy.

  • kate says:

    oh honey. eat some good chocolate. a lot of it.

  • Collette says:

    When I was pregnant with number 1 I did that at 38 weeks. I sat in my OB’s office for 2 hours just so they could tell me I peed myself.

    Then, when I was pregnant with number 2, I coughed in Target and peed myself. I left my full cart, grabbed number 1, and ran out so I could go home and change.

    My bladder still isn’t the same.

  • Karen says:

    Oh Becky! LOL. Sorry. I am going to laugh at you for a bit.

    I love this.

  • giggleblue says:

    oh, holy hell.

    so this is what i have to look foward to? i swear, i’m going to start wearing depends. this is horrible!!!

    meanwhile, i’m happy to hear it was “just piss” considering the circumstances.

  • Miss Grace says:

    I just laughed, and I peed myself. A little bit. Just kidding. Or not.

  • Ha! No worries on your part. Hell, when I was laying on a triage table, in labor with my second, my water burst forth like a dam break, and the nurse helping me looked down at me and then over to my husband and said, “What’s that noise?” and I was all, “Um, hi! I’M SOAKING WET DOWN HERE!!”

    So I say bill them!

  • Kristen says:

    Oh my gosh, I am so sorry…
    that I am laughing so hard!

    Glad almost all is well. As as a woman who has had 6 vaginal births, I so feel your pain:)

  • Heather P. says:

    You poor dear!

  • Ames says:

    The whole time I was pregnant with #2 I peed myself every time I puked (and I puked at least 3-4 times a day for 23 weeks). It happened once when I was watching my 10 year old niece…and as I walked out of the bathroom to change my clothes she says to me while trying to hold back her laughter “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you peed your pants, it will be OUR secret”. *sigh*

  • J says:

    All I’m saying is, honest mistake. And I agree with @Ms. Moon, I think everybody’s happy you got it checked out.

    We all know that by the time the baby gets that big, there is really no such thing as a pee-free existence. The only question is, do you buy Depends and if not – how many times a day do you change, and are you or are you not ashamed to tell your husband why the hamper is so full of undies. Ahh, the joys of pregnancy.

  • Lola says:

    Hehehe! I almost peed myself just reading that ;)

  • Shanna says:

    See, it was just the excitement of getting that carseat delivered. Glad all is well and I missed the peeing of the pants. ;)

    We made it home faster then we made it to your house. Tell Daver big hugs and kisses from Marjorie and Me for the directions. I would still be driving around northern Illinois if it wasn’t for him.

  • mumma boo says:

    Ha! I just peed myself in sympathy. Just think of it as doing all your peeing now, because you know once the baby arrives, you’ll only have time to pee once a day. Hang in there – you’re almost done!

  • pamajama says:

    Better than pooping on the table with a cadre of medical professionals standing in perfect visual range. Yep, did that. Also, when they broke my water with baby #2 it blew like an amniotic tsunami & soaked an intern from the neck down. The advantage, of course, is that children demolish your embarrassment factor.

  • KT says:

    I DID THIS!

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