I was breastfed. More, I think, because my mother’s mother had 10 kids and no money, thus…formula never came into play… I don’t think my mom ever really questioned breastfeeding.

I, however, did. I WANTED to breastfeed. I wanted to somebody to tell me before my daughter was born how much of the medication that I have to take daily penetrates breastmilk… I know very little actually penetrates the placenta. I had doctors give me the standby, breast is best. But only one ONE study with a handful of kids… relating to breastfeeding & my meds and infants. Formula it was. She grew and thrived (challenges & issues aside) and my husband helped to feed her…. and he cherished his part in middle of the night feedings (if not the lack of sleep). I don’t regret per se.. but I do wonder what if?

I was breastfed, as were my two younger brothers. My mother was VERY active in La Leche League, and even educated doctors on the benefits of breastfeeding. I had listened to her give advice on the phone on everything from mastitis to nursing an adopted baby. She was there to help me learn to nurse when my first child was born.

You know what I discovered? Nursing is NOT easy for everyone.

I had cracked nipples, no milk, and a kid who latched like a vice grip. The lactation consultants brought me formula. My very supportive mom told me it was fine give up. But, since it was the only thing I knew (or maybe I was just so freakin sleep deprived), I stuck with it. The nipples healed, the milk came in (seriously, I probably could have fed triplets), and well, at least the second kid had a better latch.

So, in spite of the fact that I nursed two kids until they weaned themselves (yeah, one of them actually told me “Boobies broke”), I’m a lot LESS pro-breastfeeding than I was before kids. I get it now.

Yay for having options!!!!

I love this post. Thanks for writing it.

I agree that we do not, as a culture, support breastfeeding enough. And as a nurse and as someone who has helped hundreds of women learn to nurse their babies, I know how difficult it is. I also know the value of breastfeeding and all of the amazing benefits of breast milk.

However.

Sometimes, things do not work out. And for those people, they do not need to feel ashamed for it.

Why?

Because this is about PEOPLE. Not about who is right or wrong. Yes, breastfeeding is the right choice on paper for most women. No one is denying that. Yes, mothers should be more supported in their efforts. I agree with you.

The debate makes me so sad.

This is about people.

Not about who is right and who is wrong. Because when it turns into that, no one wins.

I also think that it is easy to assume that not having enough milk is “normal” if you don’t know that it is only the industrial world that experiences the numbers that we do of women who “don’t have enough milk.” Also, you would assume it was normal if you don’t know that hospital practices interfere with breastfeeding as does lack of education generally in the population. It is no longer “natural” to breastfeed. It has become something that needs to be learned and we have very few people who are good lactation educators. Yes, lactation specialists can be awful. They often have very little lactation education. To get good advice you really have to go to an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant).

Finally, due to the general population’s lack of education about breastfeeding, we really don’t know what the REAL difference is between breastmilk and formula. And there is a very significant difference. If we were more educated, we would know why breastmilk was better, we wouldn’t just know that that is what we have been told. Aside from the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding, there are significant immunological benefits. But there are also many other benefits to breastfeeding.

But in the end, it’s just like exercising and eating healthfully ourselves. It’s inconvenient and it’s not fun and it’s much easier not to do. Yes, this is true. It also does not help that as a culture we don’t live very healthfully, and as such, we do little to promote or support healthy living or breastfeeding amongst our population.

I’m sorry if this sounds judgmental and it is, but of our culture and not of you. I did a google search on the issue of not enough milk for a friend of mine and I came across this blog. I felt there had to be at least one voice in favor of breastfeeding.