Comments on: Does This Mini-Van Make My Ass Look Big? http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/ Purple Should Be A Flavor, Dammit! Wed, 08 Feb 2012 05:12:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Best in Show: Week of August 10th – bethsix http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-74723 Best in Show: Week of August 10th – bethsix Mon, 24 Aug 2009 16:37:21 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-74723 [...] Wants Vodka – Does This Mini-Van Make My Ass Look Big? – Every time I have to deal with something related to Ben’s schooling, I feel like at any [...] [...] Wants Vodka – Does This Mini-Van Make My Ass Look Big? – Every time I have to deal with something related to Ben’s schooling, I feel like at any [...]

]]> By: astarte http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73607 astarte Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:09:36 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73607 Don't shake your cane too hard - you'll break a hip! Oh, the memories of those bangs, and how!long!they!took!to!grow!out!!! still make my eyes itch and my forehead sweaty. Yuck. Don’t shake your cane too hard – you’ll break a hip!

Oh, the memories of those bangs, and how!long!they!took!to!grow!out!!! still make my eyes itch and my forehead sweaty. Yuck.

]]> By: Love Notes http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73553 Love Notes Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:54:46 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73553 I have faith that one day we will meet in the back of a dark van while gagged and blindfolded, abducted by the soccer moms that which to cleanse the school/neighborhood of the moms that don't comply with the unwritten rules. I have a 5 yo and 2 yo and I swear to you I keep thinking that their mother must be really proud of them, because they are awesome and then it dawns on me that I'M their mother, and then I feel really bad for them. I have no idea what I'm doing. I have faith that one day we will meet in the back of a dark van while gagged and blindfolded, abducted by the soccer moms that which to cleanse the school/neighborhood of the moms that don’t comply with the unwritten rules.

I have a 5 yo and 2 yo and I swear to you I keep thinking that their mother must be really proud of them, because they are awesome and then it dawns on me that I’M their mother, and then I feel really bad for them. I have no idea what I’m doing.

]]> By: The Modern Woman http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73545 The Modern Woman Sat, 15 Aug 2009 15:30:49 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73545 I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you too! Love your writing style and your honesty. You rock! I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you too! Love your writing style and your honesty. You rock!

]]> By: Venti Vixen http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73503 Venti Vixen Fri, 14 Aug 2009 23:11:49 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73503 Yeah, why do all the other parents suck? I tell my hubby that all the time. Yeah, why do all the other parents suck? I tell my hubby that all the time.

]]> By: charmedgirl http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73411 charmedgirl Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:49:26 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73411 elle told me a few months ago (fashionista that she is) that i had to "take her bangs away." the other day, i saw a picture of her with bangs and i was horrified...and SHE will be horrified one day, and be really mad that i did her hair like that. HAHA!! fucking bangs. minivan: i had triplets and STILL denied the minivan!! i got the wagon, and suffered for the first 3+ YEARS!!! i finally broke down and got the friggin mom vehicle last year and it was the best thing i ever did. i'm an idiot. other moms: i hate them. i love that they snub me at the park; i wear tank tops with my humongo tattoos out so they can snub me even more. i hate their conversations. i hate that they want to do nothing else, talk about nothing else in life than kid shit. they are obnoxious and want to talk to someone new for no reason but to wait for the other person to say something to make them feel better about themselves. maybe i'm the asshole, but i'd rather not join that group. BLEH!! i think about the kids going to school next year and i know it's gonna suck in a way...omg the other moms...i just hope the teachers are OK. the eighties clothes...i laugh when i see high school kids wearing it...those kids are THE ONLY PEOPLE who should be............ elle told me a few months ago (fashionista that she is) that i had to “take her bangs away.” the other day, i saw a picture of her with bangs and i was horrified…and SHE will be horrified one day, and be really mad that i did her hair like that. HAHA!! fucking bangs.

minivan: i had triplets and STILL denied the minivan!! i got the wagon, and suffered for the first 3+ YEARS!!! i finally broke down and got the friggin mom vehicle last year and it was the best thing i ever did. i’m an idiot.

other moms: i hate them. i love that they snub me at the park; i wear tank tops with my humongo tattoos out so they can snub me even more. i hate their conversations. i hate that they want to do nothing else, talk about nothing else in life than kid shit. they are obnoxious and want to talk to someone new for no reason but to wait for the other person to say something to make them feel better about themselves. maybe i’m the asshole, but i’d rather not join that group. BLEH!! i think about the kids going to school next year and i know it’s gonna suck in a way…omg the other moms…i just hope the teachers are OK.

the eighties clothes…i laugh when i see high school kids wearing it…those kids are THE ONLY PEOPLE who should be…………

]]> By: Jenn http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73406 Jenn Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:18:27 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73406 I always feel like "the new kid" whenever I take Monkey to school. I am also a lot younger than most of the other parents and I feel out of place in a big way. I'm used to being the social outcast but I'm just hoping that doesn't end up translating to my kids being social outcasts. I feel like the parents are whispering in their kids' ears: "Don't talk to that kid, his mother's a FREAK!" I had a minivan before I had kids, hahaha. I don't know anything about fashion and even I know the shit from the eighties should stay in the eighties. I always feel like “the new kid” whenever I take Monkey to school. I am also a lot younger than most of the other parents and I feel out of place in a big way. I’m used to being the social outcast but I’m just hoping that doesn’t end up translating to my kids being social outcasts. I feel like the parents are whispering in their kids’ ears: “Don’t talk to that kid, his mother’s a FREAK!”

I had a minivan before I had kids, hahaha.

I don’t know anything about fashion and even I know the shit from the eighties should stay in the eighties.

]]> By: Maggie http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73383 Maggie Fri, 14 Aug 2009 03:57:53 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73383 OMG! I'd like to say you grow out of some of this shit, but you don't.... or, I haven't. Imagine the fraud I feel like getting my son registered for 7th grade. Oh jeez.. and lets not mention the parent/teacher meetings where the teacher gets on to me because I don't stand over his shoulder for 4 hours every night to make sure he gets ALL of the homework done... because if I mentioned all of that, I'd also have to mention a certain 'mother' calling the teacher a homework facist and reminding her that his homework cut into both of our Warcraft raiding schedules..... So, uh, yeah... I know all about the unmarked van paranoia OMG! I’d like to say you grow out of some of this shit, but you don’t…. or, I haven’t. Imagine the fraud I feel like getting my son registered for 7th grade.

Oh jeez.. and lets not mention the parent/teacher meetings where the teacher gets on to me because I don’t stand over his shoulder for 4 hours every night to make sure he gets ALL of the homework done… because if I mentioned all of that, I’d also have to mention a certain ‘mother’ calling the teacher a homework facist and reminding her that his homework cut into both of our Warcraft raiding schedules…..

So, uh, yeah… I know all about the unmarked van paranoia

]]> By: baseballmom http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73373 baseballmom Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:22:51 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73373 God, the other day, I caught myself yelling at the kids to "Turn that dooowwwnnn!" when the iPod speakers were up too loud. I HATED the shit out of my parents when they used to do that. I also was grilling T about where he was going and what he was doing, and with whom. I am old. I hate back to school bs functions too...it always seems like everyone thinks they are better at this parenting gig than me. Hey, if my kids are fed, clean, and alive? I'm doing something right. fuck 'em. God, the other day, I caught myself yelling at the kids to “Turn that dooowwwnnn!” when the iPod speakers were up too loud. I HATED the shit out of my parents when they used to do that. I also was grilling T about where he was going and what he was doing, and with whom. I am old. I hate back to school bs functions too…it always seems like everyone thinks they are better at this parenting gig than me. Hey, if my kids are fed, clean, and alive? I’m doing something right. fuck ‘em.

]]> By: Mandy http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/does-this-mini-van-make-my-ass-look-big/#comment-73367 Mandy Fri, 14 Aug 2009 00:31:34 +0000 http://www.mommywantsvodka.com/?p=1764#comment-73367 Oh gosh. Bangs. I had horrid straight ones, too. And then my mom CURLED them with a TEENY curler for pictures. So they were straight straight straight then randomly curled under and I looked AWFUL. Then they made me hold the pet turtle and my brother got to hold the dog. Oh gosh. Bangs.

I had horrid straight ones, too. And then my mom CURLED them with a TEENY curler for pictures. So they were straight straight straight then randomly curled under and I looked AWFUL. Then they made me hold the pet turtle and my brother got to hold the dog.

]]>