I was warned that the recovery from the abdominoplasty would be hard. The pain, I expected. I didn’t expect it to be so long, so omnipresent and I didn’t expect that I’d frequently say, “holy fuck, I miss my abdominal muscles.”

But when my surgeon suggested that I might have some postpartum depression-ish feelings during my recovery, I sort of dismissed it. Not that I hadn’t had postpartum depression (hell, I’d had antenatal depression, that’s depression DURING pregnancy), just that it hadn’t been the sort of surgery that I’d been building up in my head for MONTHS or anything.

I kept the possibility in the back of my mind.

And after three weeks on the couch, I realized that I was getting pretty depressed. I don’t sit around well. I’m a terrible patient. I hadn’t expected the recovery to take so long. I ran out of help and couldn’t bring myself to ask for more. I was in pain all of the time. And furthermore, I just didn’t feel very good.

When I don’t feel very well, I get sensitive. When I get sensitive, I don’t feel like writing. When I don’t feel like writing, I get depressed.

For the first time in my incredibly mediocre blogging “career*” I felt stifled. After a couple semi-personal attacks, I simply didn’t feel like writing on my blog. I was tired of feeling like I had to defend my life.

I think therein lies the crux of blogging: we write about ourselves and our lives and that’s what brings people in. But sometimes, when we spill our secrets and expose our underbelly, it’s almost impossible not to open ourselves up to an attack. When they happen, what then? Knowing you have a legion of people out there rooting for you to fail, how do you continue?

I’ve been thinking about that all week.

It’s made me really sad, too, because I love what I do. I’ll never achieve fame and fortune, but I do have a Band of Merry Pranksters who (mostly) understand me and that’s always been more than enough. Telling stories, making people laugh, making people cry, stringing all of my words into sentences that flow into paragraphs; telling stories, that is what I do. Without it, I don’t know who I am.

So there is my answer. I will keep doing what I do because that is what I do. I’m not about to let anybody stop me from doing what I love. When I stop blogging, it’ll be because I choose to stop, not because I feel frustrated or full of the sads.

My life isn’t on trial here. It’s not open for debate.

And moreover, I’m nobody’s bitch.

*career is used VERY loosely** here.

**after seeing “loose” misused as “lose” for so long, it looks bizarre now.

120 thoughts on “Defending Your Life

  1. I still remember the first time I found your blog, I laughed, then I found Amelia’s Grace and stayed up until two in the morning crying my eyes out and hugging my baby girl tight.
    Live your life, speak your truth, we will be here supporting you. And feel better!

  2. I was tired of feeling like I had to defend my life.

    Due to a few too many times of doing this very thing, I find myself getting defensive – writing “FUCK YOU IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT” before I even start the meat of a blog post. I hate that that’s what I’ve become.

    Damn feelings. They suck – almost always.

    And maybe next time I should bring my help instead of my bacon wrapped turkey πŸ™‚

  3. Post-partum depression after abdominal surgery? What the fuck? Does that doctor think anytime a woman takes something out of her lower torso she gets depressed about it?

    1. I’m sure your mother was dancing to get you the hell out.

      Postpartum and post-surgery depression are real things. It must be nice to look down from your hallowed hill onto all of us mere mortals.

      1. I took the above comment differently. My take was that he was questing the “post-pardum” part not the depression itself….as if women only get THAT kind….but I could be wrong

    2. Yeah, I absolutely took it as just being caught by the whole “postpartum” warning, when really the dr. should have said post-surgical depression.

  4. I hear so much of my own thoughts in your description of why you blog. I blog to entertain people – nothing more, nothing less. Keep writing new friend. You’re my kind of crazy and I’d hate to think I was the only one of our sort on the planet. πŸ˜‰ And feel better!

  5. Write what you want when you want. It’s what makes us all keep coming back for more. You write your truth. And I love you for it. I will totaly be your bitch too. πŸ™‚
    You will get through this Becky. You will.

  6. You are amazing for putting yourself out here for us to read, if anybody has a problem with it you tell them to come downtown Chicago and I’ll show ’em how we Chitown girls deal with crappy people. I want to buy you a vodka martini when you’re able to drink again… if I still have a job.

  7. When someone attacks that soft underbelly, ignore it. I mean, really. Who are they? They have NO idea and they are nothing and nobody. Keep writing, babe. At least if that’s what makes you happy. I’m just coming back to it after nearly 2 years away, and it feels great.

    I hope you feel better soon. <3

    1. But wait! The awesome part about all of this is that when this is all over, you SHOULDN’T HAVE a soft underbelly any more! And so you can take a picture of your taut post-post-surgery-cockroach-existence belly (totally jealous of your future there, by the way) and be all “TAKE THAT, BIOTCH!!!” and let it bounce right off.

      Which will be Teh Awesome.

      Hang in there. It sucks, but you’ll be back to your motherfuckin’ self before long. You better be! You gots PRANKSTERS relying on that! (((HUGS)))

  8. Totally feel like I should say something supportive but all I can think is how I REALLY thought that wearing a toga would be a bold fashion statement after seeing Meryl do it. Which then lead me on a 10 minute troll of the internet to find stills from the movie. Then I was on youtube for another 15 minutes trying to find a scene I really liked. Then I somehow ended up searching golf carts. So I’ve lost my ‘supportive’ vibe and technically only remembered how the whole thing started because I didn’t close the comment window….

      1. Yes, I know. My god, I’m self absorbed, now all I’m thinking is why I’m a blob on your blog instead of a picture. Wasn’t this post supposed to be all about you? The thing I love about me, is my ability to make any and every situation about me. It’s my trademark.

  9. Please stop reading my mind (“When I don’t feel very well, I get sensitive. When I get sensitive, I don’t feel like writing. When I don’t feel like writing, I get depressed.”) Also, please feel better soon and promise me you’ll never stop blogging. Even when your blog is all “My bowels moved today. My great-grandchildren came to visit. Where are my pants?” and I have to have one of my great-grandchildren read it out loud to me.

    I only mean that in the most supportive, non-stalker way.

  10. I’m a terrible patient.

    Would that make you an impatient, then?

    Also, glad to see you’re staying on. πŸ™‚

  11. I completely related with this blog (as with many of your others)! We as children are always told to be ourselves, then we grow into adults and realize thats not good enough for everyone! It’s very disturbing that people will try to break you just because you are not who they want you too be. To them I say I don’t have to be you I just have to be me. You don’t like me ok f*ck off! Because if you didn’t birth me or marry me you have no right to judge me!

  12. I kind of don’t understand when people go on blogs and write shit. Um, have you been FORCED to read crap you didn’t want to? You know this internet thing is an OPTION, right? JUST TURN IT OFF! whatever.

    I had antenatal depression with my first son. I never had PPD, but #2 was sort of unplanned (we said, “we should try and talk about when we’re going to have our second child” and I got pregnant that night. Bad timing for my career. Now, lack of career. ) Anyway, I felt awful for not wanting him, for being mad (at myself) and I just sort of spiraled. Not the best feeling. I understand, and when he was 4 months I was in a car accident that left me in a cast on my right arm for 6 months (clean break at my wrist). I wasn’t able to change his diapers, give him baths, make his bottle (I DID however continue to nurse him). More depression. I was always in pain. SO my point is, though it feels like you will never be whole again, You will. I promise.

    And loose v. Lose? DRIVES ME NUTS!!

  13. I can see depression coming from being stuck on a sofa for weeks. Even when the idea of laying around on a sofa doing nothing for weeks initially has a high appeal. After awhile you get all “Fuck this! I want to do something” because choosing to lay on the sofa and *having* to lay on the sofa are two different things.

    I say we hold the haters down and waterboard them.

  14. So, Aunt Becky, some unsolicited advice. I felt very much the same after I had surgery to remove a fallopian tube, cause I had a tubal pregnancy. What got me through was thinking about the near future, when I wouldn’t feel twinges of pain every time I tried to move, and reminders of why I was hurting. Secondly, this is YOUR blog, which is pretty much the same as saying that here on these pages, it’s YOUR world, and you don’t have to defend shit! If people have a problem with anything on here, that’s a reflection of them, not you, and if they don’t like it they can feel free to go read some other shit and leave you the fuck alone. Haters deserve nothing from you except maybe some pity, cause obviously they have shitty self esteem and their lives must suck balls, or they wouldn’t be tryin to fuck with someone as full of the awesome as you. So I say, as soon as it doesn’t hurt to laugh, giggle your ass off about what crappy lives they lead, and what a great one that you have.

  15. Exposing your underbelly…isn’t that gone now? πŸ™‚

    I don’t know if I’m one of your “pranksters,” as I don’t know you nor do I really comment, but I do read everyday and I would miss you if you left or didn’t post anymore. I think as a parent of 2 little ones, sitting on the couch sounds FANTASTIC, but I can only imagine after several weeks of it, it would get really hard. There is an end to your healing and it will come soon. I pray for your peace in getting there.

  16. The only blogs I read and love are the shameless ones that tell us every dirty detail. People’s quirks are what make them interesting.

    Fuck the haters, hon. Anyone who is reading a blog and attacking the writer personally has so many of their own issues that they have to lash out to feel better about themselves.

    Your blog is fantastic, so you must be fantastic as well. πŸ™‚

  17. I have about 7 readers and I’m not afraid to say, “Don’t let the mouse hit your ass on the way out.” I do it for me. You have many, many admirers (I count myself among those), so don’t let a few detractors ruin your party. πŸ™‚

  18. Yes, depression due to chronic or serious illness, which can include the awful downtime after a serious surgery, is very real. I’m so glad you are on the mend and that you are going to stick with your (very illustrious) blogging “career”. In the meantime, just get well. We’ll wait.

  19. Please don’t stop. With all of the work you have done, with creating other blog sites, most importantly Band Back Together, people need you. You have provided something people desperately need.

    More selfishly, I need you. Hang in there – just keep thinking nothing lasts forever. πŸ™‚

  20. Dude, you also have a larger legion of people cheering your success. Keep us in mind…

    Hope you’re feeling better soon – physically and mentally.

  21. You’ve got the whole package, sweetie. Smart, hilarious, sensitive, loyal,understanding and full of spitfire. You’re cute, too. Focus on the awesomeness that is you and keep writing. I NEED you. πŸ™‚

  22. Also, my husband just gave me a wireless mouse for my computer and it’s really irritating me because the scroll button rolls the wrong way and I can’t figure out how to change it. So, I don’t want to hear any more about your petty problems, when there are real crises in the world.

    Also, thank you for pointing out the loose vs lose controversy. Another crisis that deserves attention.


  23. AWESOME. Knock them out sister- we are here to read all you got. Even if all you talk about is cockroachin’ it on the couch- you write it in a way we all way to know about it. πŸ™‚

    Hope you keep heeling well.

  24. Aunt Becky YOU of all people shouldn’t feel bad about being honest. You’ve given others the courage to be honest and expose their underbellies without the risk. You’ve taken some hits that you shouldn’t have had to and believe me I will kick any bitch in the taco that you deem fit … but look at all the love around you and all the good you’re doing!

    I may be an absolute nobody to you or anyone here but … look at Band Back Together. I never would have had the courage to try and bring others strength if it hadn’t been for you.

    So don’t let the man get you down. I know that’s so much easier said than done, and that there’s more to it than a couple people trolling around on the Internet, but hey, we all love you. Where would we be without you?

    Plus, if nothing, else, when you’re back in prime fighting condition you can beat the ever living shit out of the people who mess with you.

  25. I do not understand why people feel the need to judge other people based on what they write on their blog. DON’T READ IT. Stop googling it, take it out of your feed, whatever. Problem solve, folks.

    Seriously, what whiners. They’re just jealous because they don’t have anything to write about.

  26. I go through depressions, like every few months. I let the guilt of how I have no career, my β€œkids” (who are between the ages of 20 and 26) are STILL having problems (did I do something wrong?), and a life-long inferiority complex, overwhelm me. I started reading your blog (something about the vodka appealed to me, I guess). And I laughed mostly, cried occasionally and at times prayed for you. Thanks and a gentle hug (till you’re feeling less sore).
    And do these assholes know who your pretend husband is?

  27. What do you mean when you stop blogging? You can’t stop blogging. How will I get ideas to bling shit out? Who will inspire me to put more of myself into my blog? Where will I go when I need to laugh? Or cry? Or laugh and cry at the same time? No, my friend. You can’t stop writing. Writing is you. Writing is me. Writing is us. You can’t stop being you. And I love my Aunt Becky something fierce.

  28. Your words are inspiring and helping so many people with every single thing you write. I can read a post by you on Curvy Girl or Band Back Together and I don’t even have to look who the author is because the way it is written, obviously. You are amazing and have such a wonderful gift. Keep writing, it helps you, and of course it helps us pranksters too! Oh yeah, and FUCK the naysayers. They suck at life if they think they need to put others down to build themselves up. You win.

  29. Sorry you’ve been feeling so crummy on so many levels lately. Rooting for you over here. And hoping that the haters get food poisoning or something.

  30. Oh, Auntie Becks…I loved you with a belleh and now with no belleh. You are still my favorite Aunt.

    Kick the jealous haters in the taco, they are only saying stuff because they want your new belleh, and they can’t afford it, or are too fat for just a little nip/tuck to work.

  31. I’m so glad that you didn’t let some people stop you from doing what you love too do. People are always going to have their opions and that’s ok but that doesn’t mean that their opinion has to influence your choices and actions. Its your life and you DON’T have to defend it.

    I hope you start feeling better soon!

  32. I’m so glad that you didn’t let some people stop you from doing what you love too do. People are always going to have their opions and that’s ok but that doesn’t mean that their opinion has to influence your choices and actions. Its your life and you DON’T have to defend it.

    I hope you start feeling better soon!

  33. You rock Aunt Becky!! I read your blog always, rarely comment, but had to today. Screw the Negative Nellie’s who are probably just jealous of your amazing talent! Not to mention your abdominals. Although I ‘m jealous of those too and I’m not mean…

  34. Whatever these people are being mean to you about is really their issue. They are trying to make it your issue. Don’t let them. If they have a problem with your surgery, it’s really their problem. And this bewilders me because it’s not even a choice tha effect them. So tell them to go piss up a rope or click away.

    I think you need to make a new T-shirt that says “Aunt Becky’s not your bitch, yo!”

  35. Who are these assholes you speak of. Are they the same ones that come over to my blog and wish my children death because I like peanut butter and gave my circumcised son formula? The same ones who copy my shit and try to pull it off as their own original thoughts?
    I have a theory that is only one person who does all the hating. She is very tiny and lives in a mouse hole with a dial up modem.

  36. When the asshats come calling, I’d like to suggest posting the email they sent you along with their contact info. I’m sure the Pranksters would talk some sense into them.

    1. I’m thinking Chris has a point here. My first thought was to let all replies go to a mailbox and let someone else read through them, delete the junk and post the love. But then, I don’t know how the whole blog world works, so whatever.
      The point is, C who commented a few below is right. You aren’t going to make everyone happy, and unfortunately jackasses seem to know how to reply just like us pranksters. Focus on what makes YOU happy and your pranksters will be here for ya. :o)

  37. Glad to hear it. I have had several of these moments over the years and it’s hard to come back after some anonymous person has just attacked you and you can’t even defend yourself because you have no idea who they are. I for one am one of your faithful pranksters and am glad that you can ignore the cynics. πŸ™‚

  38. The naysaying turkeys don’t even know what they’re talking about. Hope you’re feeling perkier soon and please do remember the vast majority of us are normal and support you completely.

  39. Oh FUCK THAT!! You get your ass back in the rights again. You are too kool for …something.

    Anyway, yes, you have a delete button, use it. Dont let the haters get to you. And yeah, even though you dont WANT to ask for help? Do I have to punch you in the head? The people that helped you helped because they love you. And I am sure they are willing to stick it out until you are recovered. ASK FOR HELP! Do I have to give you a sign like Sandra Bullock?

  40. You know, Aunt Becky, you have to know that for the very very few people who are dicks enough to want to see you fail (and it would be silly to deny their existence), you have a HUGE band of merry Pranksters who love and respect you and what you do and the things that you stand for.

    Please keep being awesome, and don’t let the haters get you down!

    PS: I’d still totally hump you.

  41. You know, Aunt Becky, you have to know that for the very very few people who are dicks enough to want to see you fail (and it would be silly to deny their existence), you have a HUGE band of merry Pranksters who love and respect you and what you do and the things that you stand for.

    Please keep being awesome, and don’t let the haters get you down!

    PS: I’d still totally hump you.

  42. Aunt Becky, you’re so full of the Awesome, that anyone who would even think to diss you is clearly full of shit and should be tarred and feathered. Seriously. And anyway, what are there, like 3 trolls compared to a whole band of tambourine shakin merry pranksters? I say we gang up on them and let them know how it feels to be put in their place. *cracks knuckles loudly*. I’m so sorry you’re stuck on the couch hurting, that sucks big hairy donkey balls, and it would drive me absolutely bonkers, although one day of it would totally rock! Just remember how awesome it’s going to be when you need some new whore pants!!!! I’m completely and utterly jealous, though I really am sorry you are still in pain. Makes me really think twice (or 8 times) about having it done myself. I guess maybe I can live with the exaggerated muffin top syndrome and loose (proper usage) skin. Ugh. Here’s hoping your recovery speeds up exponentially. Love and hugs… but not the creepy stalker kind. Just prankster bonding, ya know?

  43. I’m pretty sure I’ve read your blog, top to bottom and inside out. And I love it. <3

    In massage school, when we were doing clinics they told us that we'd be able to help 90% of the people we worked on, the other 10% would be unhelped or dissatisfied, and probably kind of douchey (okay, they didn't say "douchey," but it was implied… or maybe I just put it in there for my own piece of mind) Anyway, we were supposed to focus on the 90%, not the 10% because the 10% were just unhappy, sucky folks anyway (again, I may have taken some liberties.)

    What I'm trying to get at its… fuck the lowly 10%, you've got a massive, loving 90% that would cry if you didn't write for us. <3

      1. What, Barney likes hugs too. πŸ˜‰ You’re welcome.

        and up there… in my non-focused comment I totally meant ‘peace of mind.’ Good lord. I get into the glorious glow of Aunt Becky and my brain goes on the fritz. πŸ˜‰

  44. I think you’re awesome and I don’t even know you. Been silently following your blog for awhile, yours is my favorite. You have inspired me to get my blog going. Thanks

  45. I was kind of bummed when I read this. When I first saw the title, I was stoked thinking you’d be writing about the awesome Meryl Streep movie where you could eat whatever you wanted all day long without gaining any wait, while judgey assholes decided if you were to go on to heaven or hell. And then I got even more sad when I realized that you had been attacked. How can people attack when you have no core muscles to defend yourself?! Jerkholes. But then, THEN, you went ahead and tied it all in to a little bow while politely saying FU aholes! Kudos! (including the yummy freakin’ chocolate sprinkled Kudos! Those are the best snacks ever.)

  46. All I could think when I read today’s post was how familiar that cycle sounded. And if we were neighbors, I’d come over and bedazzle that binder until it was a hot pink glittery elastic form of AWESOME. And because I’m thoughtful, I’d bring vicodin and liquor and we could bitch about our kids and our lives and living in the shadowlands of depression – which I think is a huge douche, by the way. As my GBFF-in-recovery likes to tell me, all emotions are temporary. I’m not sure that helps, but it’s true, I guess. Feel better in ALL ways – and write whatever you NEED to write, because dammit, it’s YOUR blog and the haters can suck balls.

  47. Because I am a talentless hack I get a LOT of this kind of thing but I just keep ignoring it mostly because I’m bad at taking constructive criticism that tells me set my computer on fire, throw it out a second story window, have the dog crap on it AND never to write another sentence as long as I live. Not even in an email.
    So me I can understand, but I’m a little sad that someone would say it to you.
    I hope you feel better and that your abdominal muscles become rippling oily and muscular. I’m not really sure why that’s attractive but I just saw a commercial for bally total fitness so I went with it.

    1. Your comment made my oily abdominal muscles ache because I laughed so hard.

      I think half of my problem was me feeling bad and the other half was people being…crabby. Sometimes, people tend to forget that the person on the other side of the computer is human, too.

  48. Fuck ’em! WE love you and your Merry Band of Pranksters ain’t goin’ nowhere.

    As for you, you have had major surgery with a long recovery. You are limited in what you can do and dealing with pain. That shit’s got depression written all over it. Don’t beat yourself up over that. Just know that you are doing what is best for you, your recovery will take time, but it WILL happen, and you WILL feel better.

  49. Oh, Becky, I get that part about laying on the couch, feeling like crap. It is nice for a day or two. You can relax, sleep, read, thinking about how you could guest star on Sesame Street as the letter “C”, think about what color you want to paint the walls….. Then, you are forced to lay there. You want to be up, doing things, and you cant.

    To add insult to injury, you have assholes out in the world (but not me, not today anyway, and never to you! ), who, I swear to God, love to find blogs, and comment ignorant hateful things, because they can. I think they get off on it.

    But, to insult you, Aunt Becky, you who created a place for us to come, to share without feeling judged, to bare our hurts, and sorrows, and hopes…. What fucking nerve. Anyone who does that does not deserve a second thought. If they dont like it, they need to go somewhere else and haunt. They need to keep the hell off of here, and leave you the hell alone!

    Getting off of my soapbox now…
    Many hugs to you!

  50. Beautifully put. I also had depression after my tummy tuck 4 months ago and I remember crying to my husband saying “I know they said it but I wasn’t expecting this!!” πŸ™‚ Don’t worry hun, it’s VERY temporary. You’ll feel like a tight-tummied version of your old self in no time.

    Fuck the people who naysay and attack – yes we expose our underbellies but that doesn’t mean we can’t roll over, stick our bums in the air and say “Kiss it!”

  51. I know how long it took me to recover from a c-section, girl. You had the super advanced version of abdominal surgery, so I give you credit for even being vertical at this point.

    I’m dedicating this video to you to help you become bulletproof to the mean bastards of the world. Also, it’s a great “fashion and make-up don’t” tutorial.

    Big (but not too squeezy) hugs for you, my friend.


  52. A friend of mine recommended your blog to me and I’m so glad she did! Good on you for the courage to write about your surgery and being candid about your feelings. I can see why you have so many followers, I mean Pranksters.

  53. Hang in there and for those a-holes who think they have ANY business criticizing you or your life or your choices or your hairdo or the way you wipe your butt, well they can just shut their whore mouths! Seriously!

  54. Hang in there and for those a-holes who think they have ANY business criticizing you or your life or your choices or your hairdo or the way you wipe your butt, well they can just shut their whore mouths! Seriously!

  55. Ohhoney – I know exactly how you feel! I had depression pretty severely at two points this year – one when I broke my ankle (I was 16 weeks preggers at the time and had to have surgery!!) and was completely laid up for 6 weeks and then recently with the birth of my second child. I can totally relate…but please don’t stop blogging. I love your blog!

  56. Personal attacks on blogs are insane. As much as we share ourselves, spill it all, no one really knows us. And it’s usually people who drop by one and feel like they can judge. WTF with that?

    Just keep being the fabulous you. Like you could do anything else.

  57. I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that people have to see an attack as a reevaluation. I’m annoyed that you also had a previous post where you had to preface it by saying “I don’t hate fat people, I don’t call people fat” …blah blah blah.

    I’m annoyed because I love Aunt Becky and I love her because she is completely uncensored and unapologetic. So when Aunt Becky has to apologize, it makes me mad..yo.

    I get what you’re saying. People have to get all judgey when they don’t like what you say, like they are so perfect. Like they know what kind of person you are from one stupid sentence in one blog in one millisecond of your life. Give me a break.

    Do what you do, sista. I love it. All us Pranksters do. And anyone who wants to throw stones shouldn’t be called a Prankster…cuz we ALL live in glass houses.

  58. there is nothing mediocre about you. you’re a true maverick (and not in a sarah palin/john mccain way. you’ve been an inspiration to so many. a trendsetter. a google topper. anyone like that will be controversial and will get strong reactions. you should be patting yourself on the back that people follow you so closely and want to criticize. they’re hooked. they’re riled. they’re passionate. that means you had impact. and that’s motherfucking MONEY!

  59. Abdominoplasty. Isn’t that where they take out your human abdominal muscles and replace them with Adamantium ones instead? Cuz that’s awesome. I need to look that up on WebMD to make sure, though.

  60. soo….do we now live in a society where one must hang a “disclaimer” sign before we say/write anything…WTF….Aunt Becky—the reason i started following ur blog was BECAUSE you say what you want/think & throw a big middle finger up @ the haters. You are honest–and I find that super sexy—;)….you keep it up it’s American DAMMIT!!

  61. I just did myself a major injury and I am so sick of my sick self I could scream. But then folks will just know I am crazy and that I don’t have enough percocet, even though I reall shouldn’t take more, but damn, I hate pain. I think we deserve to be down, feeling like shit is, well, shitty.

  62. Where are these dirty bastards. I will beat them down with my own two hands. Don’t stop blogging, that would be a sad day indeed. Do your thang, girl. Haters gonna hate.

  63. I heard Nigella Lawson say something today that my sister didn’t get when I was repeating it to her, but she doesn’t always get me so … hoping I’m right and you (and all pranksters) will:

    “What bloody right do you have to worry about what other people think about you.” I might be getting it wrong, or out of context it might not work as well as all that so … you can find the interview on CBC here …


    I say, Fuck all those people who bring their shit into your blog and … delete! delete! delete!

    I don’t know about you, but after 3 kids I can’t remember any of the emails I’ve received, no matter how bad, once I’ve deleted them. *poof*!

    Oh … and I have a loose career that seems to prefer to be losed. bwa ha ha ha!

  64. Oh honey. I feel like that all the time. Like I could just close up shop and sign it off. But I blog IN SPITE of that. I blog BECAUSE of the people like that, BECAUSE of the misperceptions surrounding being an active duty wife (like I got married because I was pregnant- WRONG, I got pregnant 18 months AFTER I was married- I am uneducated- 2 degrees anyone?!- and I cheat- NEGATORY). I am the real deal, and while it’s not glamorous or even entertaining sometimes, this is the life of an active duty wife. The ups and downs and everything in between.

    Keep blogging sister. You’ll get back to normal (well, normal for US anyway) in no time. Love you, sister!

  65. Wait..what? someone attacked you because you got a tummy tuck? You’re fucking kidding right? Well just straight to hell with them. Rock that new tummy babe.

  66. Becky — who is writing smack about you? Random internet idiots? That is so completely ridiculous, it makes my heart hurt. You are a writer. Keep writing. Ask for help. It’s okay.

  67. Crap woman, don’t defend shit. That’s what the delete button is for. (also, I love to use the expression ‘go piss up a rope’ in those sorts of situations). (also, also, easy for a woman with exactly 2 blog readers to go on about, but I’m fairly confident that I’d still resort to piss up a rope if the haters came a knockin’.)

    My question though is how to cheer you up without causing the burning death pain of guffaws after surgery. Or maybe I give myself too much credit *g*

  68. Never stop blogging and please never let others get you down. I know it is easier said than done, but you really do have so many people rooting you on and we far outnumber the haters.

    Recently I wrote a post about having workmen in my house. 3 people did not read the post the entire way through or if they did, they skimmed it and made assumptions and they assumed I was racist.

    I just about died. I was so angry and so upset.

    It left me feeling like what’s the point? If people can’t even read this damn thing all the way through, what’s the point of writing?

    1. Trust me. I get it. Like the time I recently got compared to a homophobic gay person for admitting I didn’t like being hefty after I had the babies? WHY IS THAT SUCH A BIG DEAL TO SAY?

  69. All your other commenters probably said this already, but you do realise there are a ton more people rooting for you to succeed than there will ever be for you to fail, right?

    I hope you crawl out of the whole soon, because depression is a serious bitch.

  70. Seriously, the haters can step off.

    Oh, I felt very dangerous right there. See! You bring out the ghetto fun times in people like me!

    Keep living your life, and sharing it with us. Or else we’ll be very sad sad Pranksters and miss you and your whore mouth.

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