In a stunning fit of Did You Really Pick THAT Day? among years of this same pattern, my mother (read: babysitter) is going to be out of town tomorrow. Which is normally no big whoop for me, since I’ve been able to function without seeing my mother every day for many years now. But it’s hilarious to me since she always happens to be out of town the on the one day (or days) that I could really use her help. The timing is always perfectly, well, off for all of us.

So, this means at 8:45 AM, instead of dropping my big son off at school, I will be dragging all of the members of The Sausage Factory into my OB appointment, where I’m hoping to get a definitive look at such irrelevant structures as “The Heart” and “The Brain.”

What? I meant the Tin Man and the The Scarecrow lived without them and they were JUST FINE.

(Thankfully, although I’m not specifically trained to read ultrasounds, I was immediately able to see the baby’s wee heart, all four chambers intact, beating away the last time. This touched me more than it should have.

Along the same lines of Things That Made Me Silently Weepy But Are Weird is this: I was looking at the ultrasound picture of the Baby Sausage and noticed that in one picture it’s mouth was open. The next photo, it was shut. Why this was so incredibly heartwarming, I don’t know. I guess I realized that it takes after it’s mother in it’s inability to shut it’s mouth for a goddamned minute).

I’m also hoping to know for certain if my Blog Poll was correct, of if I merely had a boy with an unfortunately sized weenis (not that I would care AT ALL. The respective sizes of my son’s weeniers is just not important to me. In fact, I don’t WANT TO KNOW). I’m dying to call Baby Sausage anything other than that OR “it.” Just seems kinda impersonal for something that is both causing me to eat every chocolate chip cookie in sight while sweating like a sumo wrestler, right?

Oddly, I’m not as nervous now as I was for my first, since I can feel this baby moving around and boogying around in my old uterus, and since I’m aware that nothing was wrong the first time around. Just wasn’t big enough to get real measurements.

While I’m aware that tomorrow morning could be a Disaster of Epic Proportions, I’d have to have lost both legs AND arms to stop me from going.

Alex will be, well, a destructive force the likes of which are rarely seen this far from the Mason-Dixon line and Ben, well, Ben will be the most talkative narrator on the planet, peppering my poor husband with observations about everything from the sidewalk outside of the hospital, to the inevitable vending machines we’ll pass, to the plastic potted plant in the waiting room (Hel-lo Run-On Sentence!)

Looks like Dave will have his poor hands full while I get checked out.

Wish us all luck!

Meanwhile, I’m going to give my people some pictures:

First, this is a picture of my husband, The Daver, who is rarely captured on camera. He’s elusive enough that I’m quite certain there’s a subset of people who believe he’s all in my head. Or maybe not.

Here is Ben, preparing for the addition of another sibling by reading a book about siblings. Why yes, they all have the same haircut! How kind of you to notice.

And here is a picture of Alex (whom we often call “J” after his middle initial). I asked him what he thought of having a sibling. This was his response:

Comments

comments

37 thoughts on “D-Day At H-Hour

  1. love, Love, LOVE the pictures, specially J….what a doll, and best of luck tomorrow, be sure to check in and let those of us who update the page much too frequently, how it went.

    xoxo

  2. Good luck tomorrow! Here’s to healthy, happy, human-ness!

    You know, if politicians could give looks that disapproving while retaining that level of disarming adorableness, everyone would watch C-span and vote.

  3. the Daver is hawt. well done on that!
    Will be thinking of you & your sausage links as you head out for your BIG DAY! So so excited and can’t wait to hear how great it went.
    xo

  4. I love pictures! I’m also glad I’m not the only mom whose sons’ hair comes down over their ears. It’s just such a hassle and expense to get haircuts every two weeks…that’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ to it.

  5. The cat looks like he can’t possibly stand any more excitement such as the addition of one.more.human. Thrilled, that cat.

    I’m sure tomorrow will be like a day at the circus with all the sausages in tow; but I hope the u/s is simple and reassuring. Waiting for an update, of course.

  6. Beautiful family. Just beautiful. All will be well tomorrow. And just think- back in the olden days, we didn’t even have ultra sounds. We just assumed there was a real baby in there and guess what? There always was.
    And so it will be.

  7. Can Dave stay home with the kids? I know a lot of husbands like to actually SEE the ultrasound, but J never made it to one and I never held it against him. You may want him there, but I just thought I would mention it so you know that no one would think you were weird if you asked him to keep the kids at home. Well, someone might, but not me.

  8. A handsome lot of testosterone you have there! Sending good vibes for tomorrow, teenie weenie or otherwise, healthy will be all I need to hear!:)

  9. those are some damn handsome men you have there. the last time i had an feet in stirrups appointment, i brought all of my kids with me and there was an actual earthquake.

  10. I would totally come over and watch those kids for you. YOu know, if there weren’t a whole lot of the rest of the country separating us.

    And just because I know you want to know, We call Adam T cuz of his middle name! How totally weird!

  11. Is it wrong that I think your hubby is HOT?

    and you know what a big feet and hands mean on a baby, right?

    big shoes and big gloves on a man…

  12. oh, oh, oh, how I love ultrasounds! I would have one now if my uterus wasn’t depressingly empty (yes, I think I am getting the baby bug!)

    Can’t wait to hear what you are having–maybe some pink can join the ranks?? (Please don’t give her the same haircut, though, wouldn’t want to give the first non-sausage a complex!)

  13. Those are some cute men at your house, Aunt Becky. Heartbreakers, all of them. 🙂

    Ultrasounds always made me go “awwwww”. Good luck, tomorrow. May there be many “awwwwww” moments for you! Can’t wait for the update!!

    At least Daver will be with you to wrangle the troops. Tongue depressors make fascinating toys, as my children have demonstrated on numerous occasions. Just keep the pap tests away from them – one can poke an eye out with those things. Heh.

  14. What does a house full of studly men need? A baby sista to get them all in line. Beautiful family you’ve got there, and I’m including the kitty. Good luck tomorrow on the weenis front. I’m hoping it’s a girl and NOT a weenerly-challenged boy!

  15. You’ve got yourself a pretty cute family! What an exciting time it will be if (when) you bring a baby girl into the mix. Are the kids going to see the ultrasound procedure, too? We did that with our oldest and it made things a bit more ‘real’ and exciting for him.

    Can’t wait to hear updates. Hope everything goes well!

  16. Your husband’s cute! Alex… oh he is so my favorite internet baby. Love him. I want to steal him – only for the daytimes though. 😉

    Good luck with the ultrasound. Hopefully they’ll get a good luck between the legs so you can start buying up all the pink burbly (or whatever it is you love so much) in the baby department.

    I’ll be thinking of you! xoxo

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