(Niobe may be the only one who gets the title. Google it if you must. Or don’t. It’s cool.)
So Hey, Universe, what’s up?
I just had this simple request, okay? It’s not too hard, I promise.
But could you make sure it’s at least a month between funerals? I’m not so big on attending them and stuff, so, maybe you could just cool it on the deaths for a bit.
Respectfully (and please don’t strike me down. I’m a nice person, I swear.),
Your Aunt Becky