Does anyone else remember that old phrase that goes something like, you’ll remember every insult you recieve but almost none of the compliments? (Did I make that saying up?) Even as someone who suffers often from a chronic case of Foot in Mouth-itis, I am here to tell you that it’s 100% true.
And the worst offenders are the unintentional slights, because for some reason, those remain with me to this day, where I play them over and over in my head (only on bad days). The blatent “I hate you’s” and “You’re ugly’s” and “Did you even make sure that your clothes matched today, Becky’s” are usually dismissed outright.
But who can forget such stellar comments as those delivered by frenemies? I vividly remember a couple of months after I had delivered Ben, I was out with one of my few Mommy friends. She casually mentioned her weight, which matched mine, so I said so (as a rule, I very seldom mention my actual numbers to anyone but Weight Watchers), to which she replied “Yeah, well, it looks better on me.” Ouch. Haven’t seen much of her since then.
Or how about the one I heard when I was picking Ben out a toy? This one’s a doozy, because I’m STILL unsure of whether or not this was intended to be rude. The comment was something like “It would be so easy to spoil my child,” which may or may not have implied that I was spoiling my own. I STILL DON’T KNOW AND IT DRIVES ME INSANE.
I’m equally guilty of doing this myself: I’ll never forget my mortification when I casually remarked to a Movado employee while I was picking out my engagement ring, “Yeah, well, heart shaped diamond engagement rings are SUPER tacky.” Oops. She was in line to inherit her mothers. That was a dick-move on my part.
Sunday, Dave mentioned that he would watch the baby overnight for me so that I could get some (much deserved) rest. Since we’re working on getting him into his crib (yeah, yeah, yeah, smirk away, assholes. He’s been in his (now with added broken motor!) swing since birth. I am a horrible excuse for a mother AND a terrible cook. It’s a friggin’ miracle anyone married me.), this came as a welcome and much appreciated break for me.
Alex rewarded Dave for his generousity by graciously sleeping 5+ hours in a row, which at this point we’re calling ‘sleeping through the night.’ I wake up more rested and refreshed than I’ve been in years. So I rewarded myself with a nap. It was like a sleep-binge and I adored every moment of it.
Later that day, Dave mentions how “easy it was to listen for him,” which translated in my greedy head into “I’ll take the baby another night, Darling Wife” (what it REALLY sounded like was “what the hell are you complaining about, woman! This kid is SO EASY and getting up all of the time is NO PROBLEM AT ALL!). I giggled wickedly, as I knew that lightening doesn’t often strike in the same place twice.
So he agreed to do it for one more night (although it took some convincing and reminding him of HOW DAMN EASY HE’D SAID THAT IT WAS. Motherfucker.). Last night, Alex displayed to his father just how “easy” it is to listen for him overnight, by promptly waking up every 1-3 hours. Hilarious but unfortunate (mainly because this means that the baby is not likely to start miraculously sleeping through the night).
Dish, now people, dish for poor, sleepy Aunt Becky. Come sit on my couch here (pats seat conspiratorially) and tell me a story about something you unintentionally said to someone that was inadvertantly nasty OR something someone has said to YOU that made you feel like dog poo, but without meaning to.