- Most blogs have about a one year shelf life.
- There is such a thing as over-posting, but I’m unclear as to what that is.
- Blogging takes a ton of work. Really, it does.
- Proof-read your posts religiously and make liberal use of spell check.
- No one likes a Grammar Nazi in the comments, so back off.
- The trolls will come and they do not read most of what you say before they chew you out in the comments.
- It’s really up to you whether or not you allow the trolls to have their say on your blog.
- No one will read you for a couple months. It’s okay. Soldier on.
- If you want people to read you, read other people.
- While you’re reading other people, why not make some friends while you’re at it?
- Use a full RSS feed in the reader because a partial feed makes a lot of people unsubscribe.
- You may be 1000% certain that you are The New Dooce, but you’re not. Now, you might be as talented as fucking Hemingway, but you’re not going to get the same press that she did. No press = no instant popularity.
- Find your own writing style and realize that no matter what you’re blogging about, someone else has probably already done it.
- Try to keep your audience in mind when you’re writing because it will help you to focus your post into a more coherent whole.
- There’s more politics than you can imagine in blogging.
- If you want more comments then comment until your fingers bleed.
- Get a reader and subscribe to the blogs you like. Comment the shit out of those blogs. People will (eventually) come.
- There will be bloggers who will NEVER visit your blog no matter how many amazing and witty comments you leave. Period. Move on if it hurts your feelings.
- Begging for comments is distasteful. If you want comments, ask for advice or opinions.
- Nothing – not even the “official” de-lurking day – will coax 97.2% of your readers to comment.
- Support each other as best as you can, in good times and in bad. Every comment helps.
- Every couple of weeks, some new trend will piss off a number of (especially) mom bloggers and they will become annoyingly polarized.
- Resist the urge to chime in about Your Take On This Trend. Seriously.
- Every time the Today show features Dooce, there’s a bazillion start up blogs that believe (hehe) that you can $40,000 a month blogging. Maybe if you’re Dooce that’s true, but for the rest of us? Bwahahahahaha! I don’t mean to sound mean, and if you do manage this, pat yourself on your back for me but don’t get your hopes up.
- Whenever one of those stupid blog contests gets started, everyone freaks out. It will blow over.
- If you’re totally blocked for ideas about a post, describing the boring minutiae of your day is probably not titillating to others. Write it if you must, then delete it. Hopefully that will get your juices flowing and you can write about something more interesting. A turd of a post will always look like a turd no matter how you dress it up.
- Talking shit about anyone–especially behind their backs on your blog that they presumably don’t read–is a bad fucking idea. Password protect those, or better yet, don’t write them at all. Although they may be satisfying, remember, those are the posts that the very same people you talk about may find. It’s a smaller Internet than you think it is and you’re not as anonymous as you think you are.
- If you don’t want people to respond in a negative manner, then don’t let it all hang out there. Not everyone will agree with you and there are people who will happily tell all of the ways you are wrong. You don’t have to like it, but if you put it out there, you do have to deal with it.
- There is something about being able to hide behind “anonymous” that makes people say really dick-ish things that they probably wouldn’t say to your face. It can hurt, I know this, and people will get you all wrong and it will suck, but if you don’t want to deal with it, go private or password protected.
- Your feelings will get hurt. I promise you this.
- Although most of your followers will wish you well, there will always, ALWAYS be a contingent that hopes that you will fail. And fail badly.
- Sarcasm doesn’t always translate well through the written word, so be careful when you use it.
- Music on blogs is universally hated. If you want to put it on there, it’s wise to leave the playlist on mute and allow other people to turn it on should they want.
- The Blogger word verification system will cause you to lose comments because it’s often very hard and very confusing to use.
- Don’t clog up your sidebar with crap. Especially blinky crap. Because it makes the page take like 40 hours to load and then people will click away because who really wants to sit there, waiting for the page to load?
- Put your blog awards on a separate page and link to it from your sidebar.
- A nice clean uncluttered background is preferable to something that makes it hard to focus on the content.
- If you write long posts, use larger, not smaller, fonts.
- Don’t steal other people’s stuff. Stealing gives you herpes.
- Don’t put shit on the Internet you wouldn’t wear on a tee-shirt.
- Beware of the donate button. It causes many people to be very, very mad.
- Begging for money pisses people off.
- Constant self-promotion can be a real turn-off.
- Meme’s, although a nice tool to get the writing juices flowing, are usually boring to read. If you like doing ‘em, then fuck it and do ‘em anyway.
- Edit your posts. Edit them religiously.
- Paragraph breaks are a necessity. It’s really hard on the eyes to read anything not broken up by small paragraphs.
- The background of your post needs to be something that is appealing to the eyes. Some colors (especially pink, which is a favorite color of mine) although lovely, leave the reader squinty and headachey. Check out what your finished post looks like YOURSELF and see if you can read it without adjusting your monitor.
- A black background is very, very hard to read.
- If all your tweets on Twitter are links to stuff that people can buy from you or ways to get a zillion followers overnight, you’ve probably pissed off a good portion of your readers.
- There is such a thing as over-sharing.
- Stuff on the Internet–even the stuff you erase–is never, ever, EVER gone. EVER. So make DAMN sure you want to live with whatever you say.
- Remember that your kids may one day read whatever you’ve written, so choose what you share (especially about them) well.
- Don’t lie. And for God’s sake, don’t fake a dead baby. I don’t even have words to describe people who do that sort of thing.
- Don’t idolize the success of another blogger. Also, don’t hate them for it. In blogging, you often get what you put into it. And the higher you climb, the more pressure there is.
- Be kind to other people. You gain nothing by being cruel.
- The success of your blog should be determined by how you feel about your blog, not the number of comments or followers, because ultimately you are blogging for you.
- Blog for yourself, not for other people.
- Remember, it’s all supposed to be fun. Enjoy what you write, take pride in it, and if someone else comes along and tells you that you suck, tell them that Aunt Becky told them to shove it up their puckered pooper.
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this is a really generous list to put together. It must have taken forever, but it is much appreciated!
This is probably the best blogging tutorial I’ve seen yet, and I’ve read MANY. Thanks for the tactical advice. And may I suggest one more?
- Don’t talk about your blog to people who don’t blog. They don’t get it, they don’t care, and now they think you are lame.
Great list! Thank you )
My fav is stealing giveS you herpes!!! I love this list!! I must share it.
love this post. thanks for writing it.
“Don’t steal other people’s stuff. Stealing gives you herpes.” hahahaha – this made me actually laugh and choke on the chips I was eating. And then I started to wonder – which type?!
Thanks for all the handy and useful advice.
Awesome! Thanks for the tips!
This. Is. Epic. And thanks for rtelling us (and reminding others) just how it should be done.
As a very new and uninitiated blogger, this is like some kind of bible or something. Start a blog cult and I may change my name, shave my head, and join you. Long time lurker says thanks.
LOVE.
It’s hard not to to blog about my take on a Mommy Blogger Drama, but it helps to remember that my readers don’t give a shit, don’t use Twitter, and have no clue what I’m referencing.
Can I say that I’m loving this new layout? Classy, simple, and totally READABLE. Yeah!
I love the ideas! Thank you! Funny, my background is black and hot pink accented! I have deleted posts in hopes they don’t bite me in the ass. Let’s hope it stays that way and the zombies don’t reappear! Thanks for the reminders about the comments (or lack thereof). How is it that someone like me who normally could care less about what others think (or don’t think) of me could get so damn wrapped up in having so few comments on my blog! I will continue to comment til my fingers bleed! =)
Very informative, especially since I’m finally ready to start my own blog. Thanks for being so open and sharing this list. Hope it’s okay to pay it forward and share this list one day.
Must find time to read other’s blogs and comment.
Looking for a blogging mentor (could be in the form of a person, book or site) to provide advice on setting up an actual blog and offer more wonderful tips like these. Would love suggestions.
you have noooo idea how much this list helped me! i’m so excited about blogging now, lol. thanks again for putting this together. i love your posts.
You’re awesome. Thanks for the tutorial, it is epic in its awesomeness. Really!
Great tips! My second day of blogging, I wrote a post “OMG the pressure” … describing my concern with so many of the points you have listed above… Thanks!
I love this. Thank you for writing it. Even after almost 2 years of blogging, I pretty much feel like an ignorant rookie… and now I know I have an Aunt Becky who can teach me stuff.
But wait… stealing gives me herpes or syphilis?? Or is it BOTH?
Stealing gives you herpes, but linking to something you want to steal so they get credit and traffic gives you good karma!
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Now this is great material – awesome tips delivered in an even more awesome way. Excellent use of “turd” and “puckered pooper” kept me laughing
Great advice, Auntie! (I am loving my new Aunt.)
Awesome. Thanks. You just saved me a whole lot of time trying to figure some of these things out.
Love this post. Your blog teaches so well while being so damn funny at the same time. You have a gift.
I love you Becky! I wish you weren’t depressed and I wish I had some magic wand to help you out of it. I would love to tell you that “it will pass” but wtf do I know? Anyhoo…You’re awesome for posting this advice!! Thank You sooo much!! I promise not to post about any dead babies
This is so great! Thank you so much for taking the time to give us your knowledge and doing it such a way that I want to just keep reading. Really it’s one of the best blogging bibles I have seen in this space. I would like to buy you a martini, shaken, not stirred with 3 olives.
Becky,
I have been wanting to hit “publish” for about 2 weeks now. Although I have been writing information blogs for my health and wellness line, I have been wanting to make it more personal and introduce ME….. I think reading your list of tips might have helped me muster a little more courage. I’m not quite there yet, but I’m closer
Debbie
“Blog for yourself, not for other people.” Best advice ever!
Just found your blog and I love all of this advice! It’s always great to hear tips from bloggers like yourself. Thanks for sharing!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!! So you’re saying I am NOT going to get rich quick with this blogging thing??? Crap, LOL!!
Great list, I’m glad I found your site, there are so many out there that it’s hard to pick which ones to visit on a regular basis. Yours is definitely on the list now!
Thanks!