Aunt Becky’s Family Reunion: Knotty By Nature takes to the high seas on March 7, 2011 for a four day cruise of the Bahamas out of Port Canaveral, Florida.

This is a mobile mischief, tomfoolery, drinking and merry-making trip where you can learn all about how to properly swear, blog, and lazily lounge about the bright blue ocean. There’s nothing not full of the awesome about this.

ALL ARE WELCOME. Let me repeat that for you in case you didn’t believe me: ALL ARE WELCOME. That means YOU, Prankster, who is lurking out there, reading this and wondering if I mean it. Oh yes, I do. We’re calling it a FAMILY REUNION, after all, because when you’re here, you’re family. SORRY.

You can bring your family, your friends, your kids, your spouse, your lover, your mistress, your master, but probably not your pet. I mean, unless it’s a pet rock. Because I don’t think that’s up to health code, not because I have a problem with pets. But that’s between you and the cruise ship.

If you have a vagina, you can come*.

If you have a penis, you can come*.

Frankly, if you have both, you can come*.Aunt Becky's Cruise, Yo

I have a feeling it’ll be a mix of both sexes because who doesn’t want to see THIS HOT ASS in a bathing suit? *smacks ass*

You don’t have to be a blogger or even like blogs because frankly, The Internet costs 6 bazillion dollars when you’re wearing your flipping floppy’s on the Lido deck, and while we may talk some shop, you won’t be out of place BECAUSE YOU’RE ON A BOAT.

So shut your whore mouth, quit your worrying, and GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR, PRANKSTERS!

Are you IN?

Slap the official badge (code OVER THERE in the sidebar —>) up on your blog to let the world know you’re gonna be ON A MUTHER TRUCKIN BOAT.

We’ll have the t-shirts to match that you’ll pretty much want all over your chesticles up and ready to buy in the next few weeks. For now, Mr Linky yourself here when you’ve paid your deposit.

Itinerary

Monday, March 7th – Port Canaveral, Florida, Depart 4:30 PM
Tuesday, March 8th – CocoCay, Bahamas 8:00 AM-5:00 PM
Wednesday, March 9th – Nassau, Bahamas 7:00 AM-11:59 PM
Thursday, March 10th – At Sea (DRINKING)
Friday, March 11th – Port Canaveral, Florida 7:00 AM Arrive BACK TO REALITY

We wrangled the services of a group cruise agent to help us out (another Prankster, Amber) so if you want to be a part of this, which, you do, because obviously, you want to go through her (details below).

Cruise Rates

Rates are as follows (and may be subject to a fuel surcharge that will be no more than $10/guest/day):

Category H Oceanview Cabins: $426.34/person which includes all taxes, port charges AND gratuities.
Category N Inside Cabins: $381.34/person, which also includes all taxes, port charges AND gratuities.
(download this PDF flyer for more detailed information)

Here’s where it gets awesome. Deposit is $200 per cabin (or $100 per person), but the rest of the amount can be paid with payment plans up until December 1st. I mean, it would be MORE awesome if it were free, but hey, PAYMENT PLANS. Just like a vacation layaway plan.

Our cruise agent, Amber, will work with each of you individually to work out payment plans.

All deposits are fully refundable until December 1st, so if something comes up, you can pull out. Nothing will come up.

If Royal Caribbean drops fares, we’ll get the reduced fares. *score!*

We can also book other categories of rooms and still be a part of the group.

Booking Information

We convinced you, didn’t we? The promise of floating in a large ship on an Internet Family Reunion with Your Aunt Becky and Angie was too good to pass up. FLOATING BLOGGING CONFERENCE, yo. Want MORE information? Download this brochure.

So this is what you do. I don’t want to deal with money because I’d spend it or lose it and it’s not my thing.

If you are a US citizen, you DO NOT NEED A PASSPORT. It’s highly suggested, but you don’t need one. If you have one and it’s expired, no problemo – it’s still accepted. If you don’t have a US passport, then a certified copy of your birth certificate and driver’s license is all you need. If you’re not a US citizen, well, duh. Yeah. You need a passport to get into the country. doof.

Contact Amber, our group cruise booking agent. She’ll talk you through everything you need to know about a cruise, including passport information, travel insurance, the best things to wear for formal night, and whether or not I am actually insane.

amber@cruiseresource.com
Cruise One
4195 S. Lewiston Cir., Aurora, CO 80013
p: 303-690-8997 | f: 303-690-8986
TOLL FREE: 888-SAIL-123 (888-724-5123)
http://www.cruiseresource.com

Ship Details

I tried to get the ship named the S.S. Pranksters, but sadly, they insisted that the name was actually the Monarch of the Seas which has a sort of stately ring that made me happy in the pants. I accepted it THIS time, Royal Caribbean, but I WILL be back. *shakes fists.*

Port Canaveral, Florida

I don’t live in Florida, I live in Chicago, so I’m commuting in, which, I’m guessing, a bunch of you will be, too. The ship leaves out of a big ass dock in the port, but the area is RIGHT BY Orlando, Florida. And in Orlando is…DISNEY WORLD. It’s a pretty sweet set-up, yo.

Florida is also ASS HOT, so get used to it, those of you who will be coming from cold places, like me. In fact, I’ll probably be almost as white as a larva coming from Chicago in the dead of winter (March = winter in Chicago). In March, however, Florida is the land of tres awesome weather. Meaning, really, it’s nice. Nice as in high in the 70s, nice.

Angie lives in Orlando, but really only has room for 10-15 people to cram their asses on the floor, so unless you want to sleep 69-style on the floor in her Messy House, it’s suggested you either fly/drive in on Monday morning or find yo’self a hotel near the Orlando airport for Sunday night. Questions? Just ask Angie.

Additional Information

We’ll be adding more information as needed, so we’ll let you know when and what you need to to make this a crazy-awesome vacay.

Questions? Leave a comment on the cruise info page (DON’T ASK CRUISE QUESTIONS ON THIS POST, only “yippee! i’m going! squeeee! comments here, please) and we’ll answer them cruise info page for everyone to see. Ask a question someone else has already asked in the comments? Lose a finger.

________________________________________

*that’s what she said

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

67 Responses to Aunt Becky’s Family Reunion Cruise, Bitches

  • BABY JEEBUS WILLING, I WILL BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!

  • Kate says:

    I so WISH I could go! There are not very many bloggers I’d want to meet IRL, but you are so definitely one of them and a cruise sounds like so much fun! However, there’s no way for me to make it happen…. I don’t think….. then again, my birthday is March 5th and the hubs did NOTHING for my 40th, so maybe I could convince him to let me have this for my 41st? And we’ll have been home with the new kiddos for 6 months or thereabouts, so maybe……… hmmmm……. guess I’ll have to look into the possibility.

  • The Sweetest says:

    Ditto! Oh, my, I will be dreaming of this cruise for the next 9 months!

  • a says:

    Dude, I am always white as a larva. Except when I have had too much sun, at which point I become red as a boiled lobster. But then I peel and am back to white as a larva again, so it’s cool.

    Will discuss this with the husband tonight. We’ll see what he says…

  • Andygirl says:

    ohmigod I so want to do this! it will all depend on me finding a new job and therefore having income. *crosses fingers*

  • habanerogal says:

    This might the best thing ever hope I can manage to keep my skin milky white possibly party all night sleep all day might be the answer.

  • Cass says:

    Well I have been thinking of coming to the States for the first time to visit friends anyways… If i figure out finances, I may be the first international prankster to cruise?
    Woo Aussie!
    Damn thats cheap too. Our cruises here are hell expensive.. Even for a short one its like about $1000

  • Katie G. says:

    I’ll definitely be thinking about it.

  • I have totally put this on the calendar, and will begin informing the Paulo of my need for a mommy vacation in March of next year. I am willing to do almost anything to be on this mother truckin’ boat!

  • I’m going to do it, assuming DH stays employed. If that man’s job survives the summer presumably it will survive long term & we’ll both be there. Otherwise just me will be there. He’ll be home with the kids but it will be ok because he’ll be unemployed so he won’t be missing work.

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  • MamaCas says:

    Did ya all know there’s a hotel IN the Orlando airport?! We just flew into Orlando a few weeks ago and were shocked to find a hotel attached to the airport! Isn’t that the most convenient thing you’ve ever heard of?

    Sadly, I will not be joining you…although I would love nothing more than to meet my precious Aunt Becky. But me and cruises? Not BFFs. All that water? And I can’t swim? And I can’t see land? And the small bedrooms with the narrow hallways? Holy shit. I’m already hyperventilating. Have fun without me. *sigh*

  • Badass Geek says:

    Sounds like a blast, but everyone would have to deal with my motion sickness and subsequent barfing. Might be a buzzkill.

  • Amy Mayfield says:

    What if I just want to run away from my spouse/bratchild and not tell them where I am going? Is that okay?
    Maybe I just want to drink margaritas and chill with you and the other pranksters.
    Crap. Now I am going to have to find someone to room with.

  • Tracie says:

    Dude, I’m the same color as the Cullens – sans sparkles.

    Sounds like Awesomeness on a Boat to me. Not sure if it’s in the cards for me or not. :(

  • Alisha says:

    Say Hi to the BeerMan for me on CocoCay! Went on that cruise this past January….Awesome!

  • Suzy Voices says:

    OMG, this is happening during my BIRTHDAY! Or, I guess my birthday is happening during the cruise. Whatever. Both very important events!! Going to have to seriously muddle this one over…

  • Michelle says:

    it would be full of awesome if I could go but the plane ticket from Hawaii would probably be more than the cruise but at least I’, already in Hawaii so what the hell am I complaining about? The cruise gal’s address is like right down the street where I used to live for like 20 years…wierd…wonder if she went to my HS…

  • Can’t make a promise yet but I’m going to look into expected time off for next year to see if I can swing it. Fingers crossed!

  • This sounds like more fun than I can shake a stick at… If only I could remember where I left that stick at…

  • Tara says:

    Wow, I might have to break my “I don’t leave the continental U.S. for anyf**ckingthing because that’s how people get snatched up and never seen again” rule for this…..

  • mumma boo says:

    To do:

    1) Bribe husband with promises of lewd and lascivious behavior while on cruise without children;

    2) Find unsuspecting relatives to take kids to Disney while hubby and I go on cruise;

    3) Get passport;

    4) Practice lounging, shuffleboard, and pole dancing.

    I’ve got a lot to do in the next few months.

  • Anna says:

    Just sent this to my pal in SC… she’s sort of my very own Prankster, if you can relate. If she’s in, I’m in. Because YES, I am one of those people that won’t go anywhere without knowing at least one person.

    I would love to spend a few days yelling FUCK at someone that won’t cringe!

  • Angel says:

    I would love to do this but there’s this whole thing with me and a passport and lots of hoops I have to jump through. :(

    • Katrina says:

      Just got back from the Bahamas and only used my birth certificate and a drivers license. The cruise was with Carnival, but that shouldn’t matter. Call the cruise line. 1-866-562-7625

  • kalakly says:

    Can round two of the cruise-a-palooza happen in Cali?! We have lots of ships here who, luckily, regularly hapen to tke lots of people on jaunts to exotic locales….I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

  • kalakly says:

    Obviously I should uncross my fingers when typing….geezus.

  • Kristin says:

    I’m so happy my bestie Amber was able to help you guys with this!

    Sadly, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make this cruise :(

    But a lot can change between now and next March…

  • Hockeymandad says:

    Hmmm, depends on some things but I might….

  • Melissa says:

    I dont have a blog so I cant do the linky loo, but I am in!

  • I am SO IN!

    (That’s what he said)

  • Rebecca says:

    I so want to go, just so that I could meet you (and hang out with other bloggers and blogger wanna be’s and all the blog world commenters)………….*sniff* *sniff* Hold me.

  • Maria says:

    You said pull out. Hee hee. hee hee.

  • Jennifer B says:

    Oh fo shizzle dudes. I’m so effing in. After the LONG weekend I’ve had and continue having…. I am ready to go NOW! but I will just convince my hubs that this is what he is getting me (us) for our 6th anniversary, which is like a month after the cruise, but who’s keeping track? He probably can’t get the time off from work, and I may have to go alone, and then come back to hear what an awful mother I am from his family, but who the fuck cares, right?

  • Mary says:

    I think my husband can get off from work that week. How many spots do you have?

    • Amber says:

      Limited spots guaranteed at the listed prices (so get that deposit in FAST!), but we can keep adding at current prices until the ship fills.

      You know you wanna, gonna, so do it!

  • Alexandra says:

    That’s OK, have fun w/o me.

    I don’t mind… I actually like being alone…and I won’t miss you , either…so, have fun and go on and get drunk and bloated from all the alcohol and fall overboard in the dark endless sea…go ahead….

  • GingerB says:

    Why do you taunt me so?? Shut yer whore mouth, I can’t stand all this damn joy.

  • Best be sending me a tshirt biatch, for totally leaving me out.

    You told me I was your favourite…

    *sob*

  • Joan says:

    This would be so full of the awesome, but imma thinkin that gettin there from Western Australia might be just a leetle bit outta my reach at the mo. Maybe I’ll win Lotto tho cos I would soo love to come…

  • Dorothy says:

    Dude –
    Aunt Becky NOTHING, and I kind of really mean NOTHING would mean more to me than coming with you. But unless I can find someone to stay with my Pop then I can’t go (which f***ing sucks). However, I am taking my dog to become a therapy dog and so know I wondered if I were to find someone to eldersit (trademarked word please) could I bring my “therapy” dog?
    I want to go.
    Damn.
    Dorothy

    • Amber says:

      Assisstance ani-mules are permitted onboard! They have to be certified, all the lovely shots and such, letters from docs about the necessity, etc., but those are the only 4-footed critters allowed on the ships.

      • Dorothy says:

        I don’t need assistance. I just love the fact that he is going to be a certified therapy dog. My 90 year old father however does need assistance and that means that I stay here in Texas and assist him unless I can find someone to eldersit while I go.
        BTW where do therapy 4 legged creatures use the facilities on a cruise?
        I’ll look into finding someone to eldersit and see if I can swing it.

  • Sabreena says:

    I am going to convince the husband we need to go. He’s been trying to take me on a cruise and this one is totally reasonable. I’ll get my yes then put up the ransom/deposit. Great idea Aunt Becky! A cruise sounds like fun but one with you and all of the Pranksters sounds effing awsome!!!

  • Sabreena says:

    The button isn’t working on my page. When I put it up the picture won’t show. Is it just my blog?

  • Brandi says:

    Deposit is PAID. Amber is great to work with. She said my cabin mate and I are the first to be officially booked (besides the organizers, of course). I think that should earn us special seating beside Aunt Becky at dinner or something… :)

  • Coleen says:

    GAH! My newest crotch parasite would only be 5 months old then, and they have to be 6 months to go on a ship. This pasty New Englanderl can dream of Florida and the Bahamas in March…

  • Abigail @ Skywaitress
    Twitter: skywaitress
    says:

    Omg, I so want to come. Now to convince the other half. ::plots::

  • Nancy from Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas says:

    I’m on the fence here. My little guy’s birthday is the 7th. Yes, we’ll probably be celebrating the previous weekend, but I can’t imagine not seeing him on his actual day.

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  • MommaKiss says:

    i’m plotting wicked ways, too. SO FUCKIN WANNA COME!!!!!! I’ve already met (and hugged) Angie in Boston. Now it’s Becky’s turn to be assaulted, erm, hugged.

  • Leslee says:

    :-/ I WANT to go. You have absolutely no idea how mother fucking badly I not only want, but NEED to go. I just don’t know that I can. Stupid health and losing my stupid job have pretty much made me become a hermit and I have no idea how long I’ll be like this. I read all the details up thar, but I can’t remember if I read or if it said that there was a cut off date for being able to be all, “HELLZ YES BITCHEZ!!! I WILL BE ON A MOTHER FUCKING BOAT WITH MY FLIPPY FLOPPY GETTING WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDD WITH GRANDPA BECKY!” and I’d like to know if there is one so’s I can see if I can possibly make the deadline.

    On a boat, mother fucker, on a boat.

    Mhmm.

  • Leslee says:

    Comment? Where’d you go?

    Shit. Am I spam again?

  • Hmmm – this could totally be do-able! I’m off to do some checking and what not.

  • I will be putting my deposit down by the end of the month. I live in Central FL, so YAY! It’s a short drive to Canaveral for me.

    I think I may be rooming with Bellaventa. She’s one of my beeches, yo.

    Can’t wait!

  • Brandi says:

    Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!!!!!! My husband (who is in the army) just found out he will be deploying to the middle east 2 days after the cruise starts. So, I just had to e-mail Amber and cancel my reservation. DAMN the effing army to the pit of hell.

  • QCMAMA says:

    I am figuring out how to come up with the money. But I am wondering is it all inclusive? Or do you have to pay for your own meals? Just trying to figure out how much money total I am going to need. Cause this sounds like an awesome mommy vacation! and mommy can drink lots of vodka on a boat! lol

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