Dear World,

Do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, eat over a half a package of bacon. Sure, it may taste good going down, the grease lovingly filling your guts, but I assure you that 12 hours later, when you’re curled up in bed weeping, you’re going to wish you’d never seen a pork product in your life.

Not that I would know anything about it.


Your Aunt Becky

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