Dear World,

Do not, under any circumstances whatsoever, eat over a half a package of bacon. Sure, it may taste good going down, the grease lovingly filling your guts, but I assure you that 12 hours later, when you’re curled up in bed weeping, you’re going to wish you’d never seen a pork product in your life.

Not that I would know anything about it.


Your Aunt Becky

45 thoughts on “Aunt Becky Does A Public Service Announcement

  1. My stomach hurts just thinking about it.

    Um….I will just add do not eat a raw garlic and olive oil sandwich. It may sound like a good idea at the time, but the consequences are almost deadly.

  2. Oh my gosh I just ate whole canteloupe I am scared my ass is going to explode.

    I wish I had bacon I am going to go look.

    Someone needs to stop me because I think I am out of control.

  3. I went crazy a month or so ago and talked my dad into making me Pork Belly. Which for the uninitiated is basically the biggest fucking slab of bacon you could imagine. This makes sense as it is, literally, the belly of a pig. In other words, blissful obscene yumminess.

    I porked out on it (hur hur hur) and ate lots of slimey fluffy amazing rendered fat and then died for like seventeen hours straight burping piggy tastes and swearing to never, ever approach pork products again.

    But I still love bacon. A lot.

  4. Yep, been there, done that, the WHOLE package. Yummy. And that was when I still thought of myself as a “vegetarian”, at least a non red meat eater, cuz bacon, it’s really just fat, not meat, right?
    I never did like “labels” much…
    Gotta run I hear a pig calling my name.

  5. Bacon always smells so good too! I hope you’re feeling better soon and without your tummy ache. I ate a whole bag of doritos yesterday and paid dearly about 2 hours later. You are very sweet to me and good for my self esteem 🙂 And for that I thank you! If it makes you feel better – after I ate the doritos, I swear even my poo smelled like the orangey powder, LOL! Now that is sexy. Eww I’m grossing myself out – I’ll stop. Hugs!

  6. Yum Yum. Try eating at least half of it wrapped about cream cheese filled jalopeno’s. YUM….LOL

    I tagged you sweetie. I apologize now. 🙂 I promise one of these days I’ll find more bloggy friends to tagg.

  7. You just made me hungry even though I am so stuffed I could vomit. I think I’ll have bacon for breakfast and a BLT for lunch. You can eat half a package, but you have to break it up into two meals. Moderation, my dear.

  8. Oh that is a good thing to know…lol..
    I am sure you are still draggin your arse on the ground like a dog 😉

    poor thing..I feel for you…

  9. oh, wait! i got one!!

    “the sausage does NOT like bacon”

    i actually thought about that and had to come back and tell you… yeah, i’m lame. so what?

  10. Pork was a serious craving that became an addiction while I was pregnant with my little man. Oh yeah, and here’s what you need to know, prior to being pregnant I hadn’t eaten pork in about 10 years because my dermatologist told me that the sulfites caused acne!
    Hope you feel better soon. And you know “giggleblue” probably has a point there-if you had eaten sausage you might not be sick! LOL!

  11. I saw a site somewhere (yes, I could look it up, but I’m way too lazy) giving directions on how to weave a handy, yet decorative, placemat out of strips of bacon.

    Just in case you’re looking for something to do with the other half of the package.

  12. this could have been easily avoided had you invited some fellow bacon fans over to SHARE… just sayin’…

    hope you are feeling better now!

    your BBFF,

  13. you ONLY ate half? What’s WRONG with you?? I lurve bacon…mmm..

    but the warning goes for jalapenos too-they are just as fiery on the way out!

  14. Ahhh shit! I just got back from the Philippines and I missed eating bacon. So what do I do as soon as I got home, I ate a package full.

  15. mmmm….I love me some bacon! At least you have a good reason ~ you’re pregnant. I have no excuse for eating an entire package of bacon…which I have done on several occasions! 🙂

  16. You need this:


    It’s “an alarm clock that wakes you with the smell and sizzle of cooking bacon.”

    (I come across some weird shit in my research at work…)

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