Last night it was deemed to be Let’s Let Ben Make A Scummy Ring Around The Tub Night, and so The Daver threw the Big One into the bathtub (the Little One had just been bathed, Bon Jovi mullet and all). I sat downstairs on my (shrinking!) ass playing Free Cell obsessively while Alex thought of new and ingenious ways to make my life difficult. Well, that, or just obsessively go from room to room pointing out Balls! and Wind Chimes! and Kitty-Cats!

Eventually Alex made his way to the bottom of the stairs where he could see his father and brother shamelessly hanging out WITHOUT HIM, and his patented Rage ™ began. HE wanted to be with THEM upstairs! HOW DARE THEY HANG OUT WITHOUT HIM?

Sensing his mewling plight, I plucked him up from the bottom of the stairs and carried him up to see what was going on with the Elder Sausages.

I plopped him onto the 70’s tile floor and he looked as happy as a pig in shit. Ben was close, Dad was close and Mom was RIGHTTHERE next to him. Life was good.

Ben suggested that I give Alex some of his old bath toys to play with (although Ben is NOT too cool to play with Alex’s new walker-thingy he IS too cool for bath toys. Whatever.), so I craned my body over (our upstairs bathroom is not quite a model of elegance or size) to select one that was not too dingy looking for Alex to bang incessantly on the ground.

In this process, I edged myself over to the door, where Alex noticed his new favorite toy, a DOOR! and promptly began to shut it on me.

At 11 months old, Alex has now begun requesting politely insisting upon Dude Time. No Vagina’s Allowed.

Shit, I need a daughter.

25 thoughts on “And So On, And So On, And Scooby-Dooby Doo

  1. You should be happy now that you will have extra time to yourself… Just think of all teh stuf you will be able to get done!

  2. No kidding. Now you can just be like, sorry Daver, no Giners allowed. I’m going back downstairs and the offspring are ALL YOURS!!!

  3. I say take you and your vagina to a secret quiet room in the house and play free cell until your fingers cramp. They’ll come looking for you eventually. Here, have a diet coke..on me.

  4. LOL. Be careful what you wish for.

    I did not appreciate the girl free zones when I had them. All that peace. Now I have a girl who only wants to hang with me. 24/7 hanging with me. I am so very tired.

  5. Enjoy this. I have 3 boys ( Men now)
    I will never forget the same feeling, but my deer
    this will pass. And you will get used to it. I think it is so sweet how the boys love to be with there dad.
    My oldest (28) they still bound with there father.
    My middle son ( 27) does not live home but is @ our house
    after work & has coffee with his dad ever night
    Works good for me if I’m going to be late he dosn’t even notice.

  6. Tee hee.

    Makes me think of my friend’s husband declaring “There’s just too much vagina in this house!” in reference to his 3 daughters.

  7. Enjoy your free time! Daughters are just mini-over dramatic-versions of you. Or at least mine are.

  8. Sounds like you have quite the sausage fest going on over there.

    Come to my house where my daughter and I like to torment our boy with our estrogen-induced super powers…


  9. Things I like about closed doors, me time. Things I don’t like about closed doors, opening them = me having a huge mess to clean up time.

    Hope you are on the mend and congrats on the shrinking thing, what’s that line, “I’m just a stomach flu away from my goal weight!”

  10. Your ‘girl’ could be like mine and think she’s one of the guys – they both prefer hanging with Dad (perhaps because I’m a cranky ass by 5pm? No….). Given that, take the break and RUN!

  11. You can mine. The short one. I’ll have her packed and ready to ship, priority mail, within the hour. Where am I sending her?

  12. I say enjoy the sausage free time while you can. My daughter would much rather hang out with her dad than me…however when he’s not around she’ll hang on me for hours. I enjoy the first hour after he gets home from work when she forgets I exist for a little while…

  13. Breaks your heart just a little, don’t it? Me too until I realized I got through an entire shower alone yesterday because Pas & M. were playing without me. Wooo!

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