Dear Amelia,

The first thing that I thought when I saw you in the spotlight that had been aimed at my vagina was “holy shit, I gave birth to a statue!” But you have to remember that I was in extreme pain and had just found out that there was potentially something wrong with you.

And, well, you were covered in white goo.

My second thought was, “holy shit, that baby is PISSED the fuck OFF!” It sounds indelicate, saying that about a brand new baby, but I assure you, my girl, you have the lung capacity and vocal control of someone who is going to either be an Olympic swimmer (providing you’re not physically gimpy like me) or an opera singer (providing your not singerly gimpy like me).

Amelia Birth

It was a good thing they’d put us in the back corner of the L and D unit, or you’d have probably scared all of those women OUT of labor. THAT is how loud you were. Which, had I been forcibly ejected from my comfy home, I’d have been mad too.

Your temper is legendary in our house, but so is your sweetness. While both of your brothers had first years on the planet that made my hair go grey and my hand trembly, you were sweetness and love. And thunder of doom.

Ben:Mimi

I think that combination will serve you well, actually. It’s always served me well.

I know as a mother, I’m supposed to be terrified of having a daughter. My own mother and I have a relationship that can at best be described as “complicated,” but with you, well, it’s just not. It will be maybe when you’re a surly teenager, but now it’s not.

I’ve never stopped proud when I say “I have a daughter” because to me, I always figured I would have a mess of sons. To me, having a daughter was the holy grail. The pink light in a sea of sausages. I am so privileged, so unbelievably honored to have you as my own, that I can’t imagine a day that I wouldn’t gnaw off my arm to give it to you.

(I’d do the same, of course, for your brothers)

Amelia Love

The ways that you’ve changed me over the past year, I can’t even begin to put into words. If I could go back to those weeks when you were a wee embryo and have your neural tube fuse properly, I don’t think I would. Because through you, I’ve become a better person.

The world is a good place, Amelia, and you don’t know it, but you have made yourself quite a lot of friends already. People in all kinds of places have been praying for you since you were a wee thing and they’ve been watching you grow, cheering you on as you reach each milestone, and celebrating each victory.

You are so, so blessed.

Mimi Cherries

As you grow, there are going to be times and places where people tell you that you can’t do something. Now, I’m not talking about spray painting your room silver or something stupid (the FUMES! GAH!), I’m talking about your dreams, your hopes, your aspirations.

Listen to me, my girl: DON’T LISTEN TO THEM.

Absorb every single bit of negativity into your soul and let it strengthen you. Let it fortify your resolve to do it. Let it feed you. Only you know what you need to do. Only you know the path you must take. And you do anything in your power to get there. Stop at nothing.

Live a life of no regrets, my love. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Say no when you mean no and don’t feel even slightly bad about it.

Mimi Flower

And remember that when you’ve taken over the world, call your mother. She loves you with all of her heart.

So today, my darling girl, on your first birthday, we shall eat pink cupcakes with hearts and pink sprinkles and we will play trucks and cars and trains because that is what you love.

Happy Birthday, big girl. I love you with all that I am.

I am so, so honored to be your mother.

Sparkle Mimi

Love,

Mamamamama

Comments

comments

162 thoughts on “And Now, You Are One

  1. Happy Birthday, Amelia! And do what your mama says. She knows some stuff about stuff.

    I’d write more, but I’ve got something in my eye.

  2. As a mom with only a son, I can only say… Man shes adorable πŸ™‚ Got no jokes today. I can just feel the love.

    Glad we connected if only to have read that post.

    Rock on, you and your baby girl. Lovely….really lovely

    Tracy

  3. Made me cry! My son will be one in a few weeks…I can’t believe how time flies. She is a beauty and so lucky to have a mom like you. Happy Birthday, sweet little girl!

  4. Happy birthday, kiddo.
    One is a really big step, and I’m proud of you.
    Way to go, Aunt Becky! Your little girl is getting to be awesome like you- even rockin’ that fabulous flower headband!

  5. Happy birthday beautiful girl!

    My daughter is 11…and I still can’t believe I have a daughter. The novelty of it has not worn off.

  6. Happy Birthday Miss Ameilia. Miss Leigha is singing you Rock a By Baby as we scroll through the pictures and then said “Hap Birsdays” as well. Here’s to 100 more!!

  7. Oh Gosh Aunt Becky now I have tears in my eyes. This sort of snuck up on me. I knew she’d be a year old soon, but couldn’t quite remember the date. What a beautiful post and promise me that you will keep it for her to read over and over again every year because it’s a pretty powerful piece.

    Happy Birthday Amelia!!!

  8. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMELIA!

    Now I have to go clean because it’s awfully dusty in here (that’s why I’m tearing up, right?)

  9. Happy Birthday to a very special little girl and Congrats to her very lucky Mom!!
    Aunt Becky, you have a amazing gift to make me laugh so hard I nearly pee my pants one day and make me tear up and hug my babies close the next.

  10. Sweet, beautiful little one. Happy Birthday!

    This is the second time today I’ve cried; the first was at the end of a Yes, Dear re-run. So, uh. Yeah. This time feels much more right.

  11. Happy Birthday Amelia! The internet loves you too!

    Bex, you must do some seriously good baby-growing, judging by the fat rolls on her newborn picture! All the pictures are adorable.

  12. Much of this could have been written by me. After having 2 boys, I didn’t think a girl was in the cards for us. Until she came out screaming her head off, and hasn’t stopped screaming 18 months later.

    Happy Birthday, Amelia!

  13. Awwww….isn’t that cute. But it is wrong. Seriously, why pink. Alas, the stereotype is set. Cute fucking kid though. Happy birthday.
    Now, I normally would not be happy about the sappy blog. You normally rock my socks. However, you made up for it with this jewel hidden in the text:
    The pink light in a sea of sausages

    Classic

  14. OMG you made me cry, and I don’t even *like* babies! But I’d be yours. LOL. Goodness. I’m impressed that you embrace your baby girl’s God-given right to be pissed off when the situation calls for it. Go Mom.

    Happy BDay little girl!

  15. Beautiful post, Becky. Makes me want to go home and hug my “surly teens.”

    Happy Birthday, Amelia. God bless you.

  16. You made these water-like things come out of my eyes and down my cheeks. I think some call them… tears? Beautiful post. The love you have for your daughter (and all of your chillins) is apparent. My eyes were just, uh, watering though. Yeah.

  17. *sniffs* – Happy Birthday Little Beauty, and Master of the Universe.

    (p.s. – I KNEW your mom knew how to make cupcakes, umm, I think)

  18. I can’t believe she is ONE! How amazing is she? I love her to pieces and I love you and I am SO GLAD that you have your daughter. She is one lucky little girl. xoxo

  19. Damn you Aunt Becky, got me again. Actually shed a tear. Of course, I was just thinking some of the same thoughts right before I read this as I played with my daughter ( just turned 10 months). Mimi- when you read this back, realize how much your mommy kicks ass and that she got a whole Internet to love the crap outta you. πŸ™‚ Happy Birthday Amelia!!!

  20. I have never, never wanted a girl child. I am so thankful for my boys.. but, WOWZA! You just made me want a little pink bundle of temper. (Yes, I just heard my husband scream from 25 miles away.)

    And I hope you print that out and save it for the future. So you can show her when she throws that pre-period temer tantrum, and when she gets her heart broken the fist time and when she goes off to college and when she gets married.. crap, I can’t cry in front of the class. Thanks Aunt Becky.

    Beautifully written. Why the hell did you want to be a nurse, anyway?? You write too well.

  21. Happy Birthday sweet Amelia. I love your advice, “Don’t say yes when you mean no. Say no when you mean no and don’t feel slightly bad about it.” As women, it is our downfall. We’re trained to make nice. I regret that in myself. Kudos to you for teaching her strength and empowerment in not just pleasing others, but pleasing herself, most importantly.

    Hearts and pink sprinkles-What a lovely way to usher in the rest of her sweet life.

  22. Oh, man, that? was beautiful! And as far as having girls goes, we wanted two, we got two and have never once regretted it. They are awesome, and she is absolutely beautiful!

  23. awwww . . . LOVING her cute little toes.

    And “sea of sausage”? Loved it! May have to use that one around my house.

    And Happy “Birth” Day to you to Becky. Enjoy the pink cupcakes (hope you bought them instead of baking them – we’ve all seen the Master Cake Baker debacle *wink*)

  24. How freaking cute is that picture of Mimi and Ben????

    Love it:)

    Happy birthday Amelia! May you always know what a great mommy (and daddy) you have!

  25. ??Happy Birthday Mimi??

    Now…go dump the dog food & splash in the water for us internet’s & tell Mom it’s for making my face leak. Mmk? Thanks =0)

    1. Happy Birthday Mimi!!

      Now…go dump the dog food & splash in the water for us internet’s & tell Mom it’s for making my face leak. Mmk? Thanks =0)

  26. Happy Birthday sweet Amelia! I love that hat in the last picture.

    Good for you for telling her to take on the world and that she is allowed to say no. It’s about time our girls are raised to be happy individual people instead of pleasers.

    Great blog Becky!

  27. Happy birthday to your adorable daughter!

    I LOVE this line: Live a life of no regrets, my love. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Say no when you mean no and don’t feel even slightly bad about it.

    You made me ache a little, knowing I’m forever in a house of boys and no cute pinkness thrown in.

  28. Happy birthday to Amelia and to you as a mom!
    This is my favorite line….and it’s quite amazing…and great advice!
    “Live a life of no regrets, my love. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Say no when you mean no and don’t feel even slightly bad about it.”

  29. Happy Birthday Amelia! You and your mom are going to rule the world. And it will be a better place for it because I know your mom will make my favorite vitamin V an OTC commodity:0)
    So happy you are here and so very happy you are healthy!
    xxoo

  30. Becky,
    I am Nikki’s sister. I just wanted to thank you and you’re absolutely beautiful baby girl (Happy Birthday Amelia!) so much for being a light in a very dark tunnel for us these past few days. Your words are such an inspiration to us all, especially my sister and brother-in-law.

    Miss Amelia,
    Listen to your mother, and stay strong, because you made it ONE WHOLE YEAR through such a crazy messy time. You ARE strong, and amazing and you bring hope to those of us who need it!
    Happy Happy Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

  31. I think I have something in my eye… But seriously, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIMI! Well done you for kicking life right in the balls- and well done to your mum for doing exactly the same.

    PS. Sincerely hoping for ALL of your general health that Becky did not make today’s birthday cupcakes… ;P

  32. This might be my favorite entry you’ve written since I started following you. Funny, I wrote a pretty syrupy blog myself tonight, but it was about my job – not my child. You have a beautiful little girl, and if her literary voice turns out to be as powerful as her physical one, she will obviously begin to exhibit the talent you clearly will have given her.
    Your devotion to your sweet little girl comes off so clearly and concisely – I love the honesty of your posts.
    You remind me why it is I hope to one day have one of my own.
    Thanks for another terrific entry.

  33. Aunt Becky, I tip my champagne glass to you tonight. Happy, happy birthday Mimi!! Congrats to mama for gritting through the hard parts of the year and sharing it all with us. We love you! Bless you, Amelia, and all of your dear family.

  34. Oh, Happy Day lil Mimi. And cheers to you, too, Mama. The first year is filled with so much joy (and less than joy). So glad she’s healthy and you are doing so well.

  35. Happy, Happy Birthday to your beautiful baby girl! Her story reaffirms my faith in modern medicine and in the power of the online community. Hope you all had a wonderful day!

  36. This wouldn’t have meant anything to me a year ago but after having my little girl my heart strings are a little easier to tug. Happy tears. I hope to say someone as beautiful to my daughter on her first birthday.

  37. Dear Mimi –

    Happy Birthday, sweet little precious. You have a couple hundred honorary Aunties and Uncles out here who think you’re an amazing piece of work. I forsee great things for you, since you began your life inspiring all of us with the miracles you achieved.

    No pressure.

  38. Happy Birthday little princess!

    As for YOU Grandpa Becky, you are an asshole. You’ve made me cry. AT WORK.

    Ok, so you really aren’t an asshole. But you did make me cry. At work.

    I just wanna give your little girl a big ole squishy hug.

  39. Awww crap, you made me cry…

    Happy birthday beautiful girl πŸ™‚

    My own gorgeous, gorgeous girl joined the Army a week and half ago…I can’t yet decide how I feel…

    Love to you & yours Aunt Bec πŸ˜€

  40. Happy of happiest birthdays dear Amelia, you are loved by so many its true. And no your mommma does not really want Vodka, its a long story ask her. Happy birthday dear cute flower hand band wearing girl! Send cupcakes to Cairo when you can.

  41. Amelia:
    You and your mommy are my inspiration. I am getting through this unsure and scary time because of both of you. You have kicked ass since day one, and you will continue to do so for 100 years more. Happy Birthday you precious little girl!

  42. Happy Birthday Amelia. Total sidenote that I know you will find funny….my daughter’s middle name is Amelia. Amelia is defined as the absence of an arm or leg and is something that in my undergraduate studies was a result of certain medications taken while pregnant.
    With my pregnant brain, I forgot all about that and got wrapped up in my daughter’s beautifully perfect name. Until I googled for some reason to make sure that her name combo wasn’t that of a serial killer or famous porn star thus subjecting my daughter to a life of being confused (pregnant moms are soooo goofy sometimes!). Then I was reminded.
    At that point, I spent the rest of my pregnancy just KNOWING that she was going to be born missing an arm or leg (which she wasn’t).

    Anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMELIA! I hope you (and your two arms and legs) have a GREAT birthday!

    And this post made me cry…way to go. I come to you for wit, banter, and sarcasm to start my day off right and I get weepy. Give a warning next time would ya?

  43. Happy birthday, Amelia! May you become as wonderful as your mom and dad. And if you’re made of only recessive genes from your ancestors, may you inherit at least their sense of humor and their kind hearts. That should take you far enough.

    Becky and Dave, happy baby girl day to you! If this day a year ago wouldn’t have been that hard, maybe you would have been less aware of what a true miracle Amelia is. May she be all health and happiness from now on!

  44. Happy Birthday sweet baby girl…your mom is something very special as I’m sure you’ll discover, then discard when that awful teen monster rears its ugly head.

  45. I’ve just come across your blog and just read this ..
    Happy birthday Amelia !!
    My little girl is 1 on march 16th and just wanted you to know that you brought a tear to my eye with your words to your beautiful daughter.
    I hope she had a great first birthday !

  46. OMG, you had to go and make me cry. Happy birthday, sweet baby girl. I know exactly how your mom feels because i feel that way about my “gingerbread girl”, Zoe. We have been through a lot with her, and we are still going through it- but it makes us all stronger. Your mom is pretty smart- and she loves you so very much. Enjoy your cupcakes!

  47. oh how happy it makes me that your sweet girl is alive & has just celebrated her birthday. my parents delivered a baby 36 years ago with anencephaly. different of course, but your amelia reminds me of the older sister i never knew.

  48. The best ones make me cry :p) Congratulations, Becky! I LOVE when you call her Mimi, so perfect, such double meaning when spelled Meme. The daughter thing is just huge.

  49. Did anyone else have to stop and cry for a minute before they could post? I did. And now I’m going to read the next post, and probably end up laughing through these tears. This is a wonderful blog.

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