Who IS Aunt Becky?

Becky Sherrick Harks, or Your Aunt Becky, as the Internet knows her, is the creator of her very own weblog, Mommy Wants Vodka. You should know this by now if you’re reading these words on your own computer screen. In 2007, after blogging on another blog for four years, she launched the sarcastic blog, Mommy Wants Vodka.

In this time, she’s gone from exactly zero followers (save for some spam bots that she likes to call “Harry”) to becoming a household name. She’s been nominated numerous times for the most esteemed blogging award, The Bloggies, and won exactly zero times.

Becky Sherrick Harks is, shockingly enough, a bachelor’s prepared nurse, who has retired from the hospital life to spend her days surfing the Internet and annoying friends and family with stupid Facebook status updates.

She’s also a freelancing writer of humor and satire, although, upon occasion, can be a heartfelt philanthropist (just don’t tell anyone that – she’d hate to lose her cool edge).

Sherrick Harks lives in a suburb of Chicago with her three kids, imagining her life married to men from television and hoping that one day, ONE day, she’ll see an actual pony on roller skates.

What Does She Look Like?

Yup. Maybe a little less blurry, though.

Does She Sell Crap?

Again, yuppers. Aunt Becky has a t-shirt line AND a Zazzle Store full of inappropriate stuffs.

You should buy some.

Aunt Becky Is A Philanthropist? I Don’t Believe It.

Yup, the rumors are indeed true: Becky Sherrick Harks is a philanthropist. She created, launched and web-masters (totally a word) her soon-to-be-non-profit site, Band Back Together. Band Back Together is a group blog for anyone to share their stories of abuse, trauma, mental illness, infertility, baby loss and other dark things.

Here’s a bit more about The Band:

Who are we? We’re The Band.

We’re a band of survivors. We’re here to put a face to everything once kept in the dark. We’re here to show the world that you can go through hell and come out the other side.

So, pull up that old tattered leather chair and make yourself a drink. Pull your skeletons from their closet and make them dance the tango. Alone, we are small. Together, we are mighty.

We are all connected.

We are none of us alone.

Share your story.

It’s time to get the Band Back Together.

What’s Your Email? I Want To Send You A Pony on Roller Skates:

becky.harks@gmail.com is my email. I’m not sure you can email a pony, tho. Maybe you could fax one?

What’s This About Freelancing?

Like everyone else on the planet, Becky Sherrick Harks works as a freelancing writer, writing for such sites as Nickelodeon, Cafe Mom, Aiming Low, Savings.com, and Felicity Huffman’s new site: Flicka.

Sherrick Harks is available to write for you, too, should you be so inclined.

Okay, So You Say You Have A Book?

Sherrick Harks is in the middle of three books, ranging from humorous memoirs to life with a medically fragile child. While she once had agents, they parted ways, so Sherrick Harks is always looking for a new agent, as she’s already got a fantastic platform for promotion.

Are you an agent? Go ahead and email Becky: becky.harks@gmail.com

You should totally publish her book.

What Are Your Current Stats?

These are Mommy Wants Vodka’s current stats from Google Analytics:

What Do Those Stats Mean?

I don’t know, but I think it’s pretty.

Social Media’s A Big Deal Right Now. What’s Your Number(s), Baby?

Twitter @mommywantsvodka: 20K followers, including several celebrities such as Judy Blume and Felicity Huffman, and, her most prized follower: Little Debbie.

Her current Twitter Klout score is 61. She’s not sure if that’s good or bad.

Personal Facebook Profile: 2,500 friends. This makes Sherrick Harks feel popular, even though most of those are spam bots.

Facebook Page: 2,300 likes. It doesn’t show the amount of DIS-likes, but she guesses they’re probably far greater.

Tumblr Profile: A whopping 250 followers on Tumblr.

Pinterest Profile: 1,000 followers subscribe to see all of the crappy pictures she posts.

LinkedIn: Unsure of why she even HAS this set up, Sherrick Harks has 280 connections.

Google Plus Profile – presuming it’s the “better Facebook,” Sherrick Harks set it up and has over 1K followers.

Woah, I So Totally Need To Advertise With You:

Aww, that’s so sweet! You’re right: you do.

For advertising, here are a couple of options:

• I offer BlogAds, which allows you to create your own ad for my sidebar.

• I’ll also do a mention of your site, product, or whatever, at the bottom of my posts, in a nice blurb, starting at $150.

• I no longer do graphic ads on the sidebar unless they’re through BlogAds.

What About Contests – Will You Do A Contest For My Product?

Likely no. If you think we can strike a deal, in which you pay me for my time, for sure. I mean, you’re taking away precious seconds I could spend watching youtube videos of cats playing the piano.

If you think you can make me an offer I can’t refuse, email me: becky.harks@gmail.com

What About Product Reviews? Are You A PR Friendly Blogger?

What does that even mean, “PR Friendly Blogger?”

Anyway.

Not so much. I’m really not into spending my time testing out shampoo or whatever because my audience, my awesome Pranksters, they’re not going to care much about it. Frankly, neither would I.

But…if you think you’ve got something I might like to review, email me: becky.harks@gmail.com

Can You Put Up My SEO-Keyword-Heavy-Article About Stuff TOTALLY Unrelated To Your Blog So I Can Have A Link Back To My Blog?

Nope.

I’m a writer. I write words. I have an audience that likes words too. So there’s no way I’m going to abuse my audience by putting up something for them about 27 uses for hair gel. Unless they involved rats. Because a rat with a mowhawk is hilarious.

Can I Send You A Yacht?

I thought you’d never ask. OF COURSE you can!