On Saturday, thirty of my favorite people in the world came to celebrate my daughter’s birthday – finally. She was so excited (read: crabby) while waiting for her party to begin that I nearly sold her into slavery. But I didn’t.

We prepared by getting into our party dress:

sweet shoppe party dress

Shockingly, she allowed me to help her pick it out. Generally my suggestions are bullshit in Mimi’s book.

sweet shoppe birthday girrrl

She showed a little sass before complaining that her party wasn’t ready. Guess that next time, I’ll start the party at 8AM. Hope she doesn’t mind if I’m not there. SO not a morning person.

She promptly spilled her morning coffee on her dress, which pissed her off, but she quickly got over it. Her aunts Dawnie and Teala (all the way in from Texas with her boyfriend Brian) and uncles were arriving to help set up the party.

Now, I’m not a party person. I mean, I can do a keg stand like nobody’s business, but when it comes to all artful “this should go…THERE. PERFECT!” I’m pretty useless. One might argue that I’m ALWAYS useless, but that is neither here nor there.

While The Daver and The Guy On My Couch strung streamers, Dawnie and I got relegated to salting the driveway.

(P.S. we did a shitty job)

SPOILER ALERT!

(P.P.S. No one died)

Once the streamers were strung, it was time to bust out the real sweet shoppe stuffs I’d been hoarding.

sweet shoppe table spread

Kinda looks like Willy Wonka barfed everywhere, right?

Right.

I don’t actually know what this is (it could be tampons) – but it was purdy and colorful.

heart candies

I can’t resist something shaped like hearts. It’s against my DNA. Plus COLORS!

Then, an old favorite (that’s a lie) that can double as a toilet brush!

ROCK CANDY!

rock candy jar

Gratuitous snap of rock candy:

rock candy in apothecary jar

(no one ate the rock candy.)(I’m going to pretend it’s because it was pretty, not because it tasted like raw ass)

button candies

Remember these? I do. Back before I had common sense (shut up, I do SO have some now. Like 5. At least.), I remember eating these. By the time I was 8 or so, I was all, WAIT A MINUTE, THIS CANDY TASTES LIKE GARBAGE EVEN IF IT IS SOOOO PRETTY!

I think I got tired of accidentally eating the paper.

And where would a good sweet shoppe party be without weeeee cuppy cakes? (answer: I don’t have an answer)

tiny cuppy cakes

These cupcakes, made by Dawnie (who cannot salt a driveway to save herself), were not only freaking adorable, but delicious. Mmmmmmm….cuppycakes.

Also made by Dawnie were these:

lollipop cookies

Tell me these aren’t beyond full of the awesome. Because you’d be a lying liar who lies.

birthday party ballooons

Instead of adding ribbons to the balloons so they could be dragged around the house, plastering my poor allergic face with latex, The Daver had the bright idea to simply fill the room with balloons.

If I teach you NOTHING else, Pranksters, let it be this: DO THIS FOR YOUR NEXT CHILD PARTY. I swear, the balloons occupied the children for at least three hours.

hello kitty cake

And a Hello Kitty cake for my birthday girl. Made by Dawnie. If she can’t properly decorate the house, at least she can bake. Right?

(I can’t even do that)

For all of the chocolate cake lovers, Dawnie made this:

The birthday girl was quite thrilled by her cake.

sweet shoppe birthday

The day after her party, the kids opened some presents. We always buy the children who aren’t celebrating their birthday buckets of trinkets and stuffs to play with. It helps a little.

Amelia decided to show off her cannibalistic tendencies.

(lookit Alex. Bwhahahahaha!)

OH GOD, MY EYES!

Hello Kitty did NOT go gentle into that good night.

Alex, tearing into his bucket. Ben was hiding from the camera.

sweet shoppe birthday boyGirlfriend is going to be a better photog than me any day now.

hello kitty camera

And lastly, I made people sign something for her bedroom.

I’m totally leaving that fake baby in there.

Comments

comments

43 thoughts on “A Very Sweet Birthday, Indeed

  1. Cuties!
    BTW, how many people attended this party? Like 50? You had two cakes, plus cupcakes, plus those could-be-tampons, plus all those zots and stuff?
    Haven’t you used the your age=number of guests axiom?

  2. So cute. 🙂 I admire your ability to pull that off. I’ve given up on “parties” and instead try each year to convince my children to pick something special to do with us. Like camping, or the waterpark or whatever. So far, so good.

  3. I don’t know who did decorations since you mostly listed who DIDN’T do them. But I am like ready to hire them now. Except that my kids are WAY past 3 (like 12 years or more past… sigh) and would be all “Mom, that is so f*%king lame”. And then I’d have to banish them to their rooms for swearing and eat all the candy myself. (Wait, I guess we have no problem here after all.)

  4. Holy Crap lady!!

    Your kids must think you’re the best mom in the whole wide world!! Also they are going to be high for weeks.

    My girls are never to see your blog ever, or they will surely stage a bad-birthday intervention and I’ll have to start serving cupcake towers and candy tampons what-have-you and well, that will just cut way to far into my drinking, writing time.

  5. Rock candy is NOT BULLSHIT!

    How can it taste like ass? It’s sugar + water = awesome! It’s a socially sanctioned way to basically eat a bag of sugar. I promise to take all the leftovers off your hands!

    My dentist will thank us both.

    That party is full of awesome. Hope you all had a great time!

  6. It warms my heart, like only an uncrustable can, to see what a wonderful party you gave. My only complaint is you live too far for me to party with you 🙂

  7. Love it. Every cavity ridden, barf inducing, sweet bit of it. It seems like a good time was had by all. Even if it was only due to a sugar high.

    And also…can I have my son’s baby picture back now?

  8. Not gonna lie, I love it! However, SOOO glad I’ve only got a boy! It’s nice doing the barfy-girly stuff for my nieces, but one can only take so much!
    P.s. You’re right…FULL OF THE AWESOME!

  9. Now that is a party fit for the Princess of the Bells. I’m in awe, and just a wee bit jealous of your party-producing-prowess. (And you’re right, rock candy does taste like ass. Blech.)

  10. You are awesome! I didn’t even realize they still made those dot candy things. I want to bring my brood to one of your parties! Or maybe you could fly out to Jersey and handle a party for me? I’m not awesome.

  11. I am so happy to see these hipy papy bthuthdy bduth pictures. Mama Maria loves you all, Curly Girl, and Aunt Becky, always in my heart. And the rest of the wiener factory – but wait? If The Daver isn’t the Guy On Your Couch, who is???

    <3

  12. Amazing cakes and candies! REALLY wishing I could have been there, only I might have been hiding in the corner with sugar all over my face snapping at anyone who tried to take my candy tampons from me! So it’s probably best that I was here and not there.

  13. Looks like a great party! I hope you’ve finally broken through the January PTSD, and can enjoy that beautiful girl’s birthday from here out.

  14. AB—–
    Congrats! You have celebrated the 3rd birthday of that sweet baby girl, and in doing so, with all that sugary sweetness, I hope you have erased all the negative things that cross your mind when you think of the day of her birth.
    I love you AB! You rock! Your boys rock & sweet Amelia rocks most of all! You are an inspiration to me, and have helped me through some tough shit in the past 12 months.
    HUGS!!!
    ~A

  15. OoooOOooOOoooo… I’m mesmerized by the whole shebang. The candy! The paper poofs hanging from the ceiling! The colors! THE COLORS!!!

    P.S. Emma- it’s rock candy in the US of A. What you linked to is “stick candy” here. Either one: delicious. (But I do have an extra-soft spot for rock candy. Aunt Becky? Want my mailing address??)

  16. There are different types of rock candy here – maybe it’s my pseudo-Canadian upbringing. I seem to remember pebble-like candies that were mottled and usually badly flavored. We used to try to make sugar crystal candy as science experiments.

    Beautiful party. I now must make my daughter a hello kitty cake. She’s going to want me to produce a party as cool as Mimi’s. good job, AB!

  17. That table looked FAB!

    We used to eat Dots to practice taking pills. I guess for when we grew up to be housewives and downed pills and booze ’til the bus came home or something. I dunno.

    Dawnie’s cake skillz are totally awesome!

  18. Those cakes ROCK! That party ROCKS!
    ROCK candy – notsomuch….
    Happy Birthday Mimi! You’re beautiful!

    So how did inviting just any ole crazy that wanted to come work out? Did any of them come and did they stalk you like a bad movie? I wish I lived closer to you……I wouldn’t stalk you….really…

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