I pretty much live in the awesomest neighborhood ever. There’s a house that passes out beer and “severed fingers” (hot dogs) to the parents. Someone up the block makes Irish coffee. A couple other people make mini-haunted houses for the older kids. Really, you can’t go wrong.

And I love Halloween. I haven’t been feeling well lately, so I didn’t get as into it this year as I normally do, but you know, can’t win at life ALL THE TIME.

I didn’t know what to expect this year. Ben shrieked for his first three Halloweens, Alex was flabbergasted for his first two, and Amelia was merely indifferent last year.

This year, Alex and Ben were full of the excited for Halloween.

I’m motherfucking fluttering, okay?

When Amelia saw Ben dressed like this, she ran around the house going, “ARRRR!” Because she knows a pirate says, “ARRRR.”

She rules.

Now the only child without a costume was Amelia. It’s not that we didn’t WANT to get her a costume or that we were all, “YOU CAN’T HAVE A COSTUME, AMELIA,” it’s just that every time any one of us tried to explain the concept of Halloween, we realized how absurd it sounded:

“So, we dress up as other people and then go ask our neighbors for candy.”

“We put on costumes and trick-or-treat.”

“We go door-to-door dressed up and say, ‘trick or treat.'”

Yeah. It sounds like that.

So of course, Amelia was baffled and I wasn’t about to drop a significant amount of cash on something that baffled her, so instead, I picked her out a reasonable costume at Old Navy, and figured at worst, she could wear some jammies. She’s a little girl. Who cares? If someone had an issue with a non-dressed up ickle girl, they could talk to my Fists of Fury.

When I got the costume in the mail, though, I made a big deal of presenting it to her, like it was this big prize. “OH AMELIA, LOOK AT THIS PRETTY PRETTY THING!”

She took a look at it, grabbed it from my hands and threw it on the ground and began to stop on it. I grabbed it away before she could take a shit on it. Her fury was hilarious if not slightly baffling. It was a fairy princess costume, not something that should really have evoked ire in a toddler. I mean, this is the child who loves pink, sparkles and Mary Janes. She’s my daughter, after all.

But…okay. To the closet it went.

Until yesterday.

She saw her brothers dressed up, and as she was getting on her ballerina jammies, on a whim, I grabbed out the Fairy Princess costume to show her.

She grabbed it from my hands, and instead of attempting to take of her diaper to take a whizz on it, she lovingly caressed it, then hooted her desire to put it on. When it was safely on, she ran over to the mirror to take a look at herself in the pretty dress. She smiled.

Then she went up to her eldest brother, stole his sword and the costume was complete:

It’s Amelia The Pirate Fairy, BITCH.

Where Alex, my ickle Jay was afraid to go from house to house the first year he could toddle around, Amelia marched up to each door, hooted when she got her candy, and ran as fast as her thunder thighs would allow her to the next house, keeping handily up with her brothers.

I swear, Pranksters, I was misty with pride. My girl, she’s fierce.

AMELIA, FUCK YEAH.

P.S. You should visit my home slice Peggy and her Etsy shop. Why? Because she’s crafty and I’m not.

Comments

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60 thoughts on “A Pirate, A Manly Butterfly and A Fairy Pirate Walk Into a Bar…

  1. Awww. Thanks for the shout out to my Etsy shop. I am ashamed to say when I was reading this post and got to the bottom and saw you shouting out someone named Peggy with an Esty shop I was like “UM, what? Another Peggy with an Etsy shop? WTF copy cat bitch!!” And then remembered you might be talking about ME!! I promise I don’t smoke crack.

  2. Yay! Halloween is the best holdiay of all time. I LOVE that you let Alex wear the butterfly costume and it totally rules that Amelia got into it at the last minute. Now I gotta brag. http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fdesmoines.metromix.com%2Fevents%2Fphoto_poll_gallery%2Fvote-finalists-in-2010%2F2271611%2Fphoto%2F2272023&h=81c57 That’s me with the Mariachi costume and the Tamborine. ^_^ ANYONE (including my Aunt Becky) can be crafty on Halloween I guarantee it.

  3. she might love the book “Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots?” Or she might pee on it.
    I had two fairies (alas, just regular fairies, not pirate fairies) and a little pumpkin. The fairies kept trying to turn the pumpkin into a carriage. And all this time I thought they liked their baby brother . . .

  4. I had no doubt that Mimi would rock this Halloween, despite the instant rejection of the costume. See, Aunt Becks, she was just pissed she didn’t have any appropriate ACCESSORIES to go with it!!! When she grabbed the sword, it was her way of letting you know that she will Kick ASS in this life and she will do it with her beauty and charm shining like a pretty fairy princess. 🙂 And I’m pretty sure “Arrrrgh” counts as a word. Just sayin.

  5. jealousy works every time. she just wanted to be like her brothers! and she was kind of a combo of both of them: the butterfly and the pirate. soooo cute! ps? Alex rules the butterfly!

  6. You must have been the most entertaining family out and about on Halloween. Alex is definitely going to have a lifelong love for this holiday – he really gets the whole idea! Amelia is one bad-ass fairy pirate. But, my only concern is, could Ben see?

  7. LOVE it! We spent Halloween with a stomach virus. Trick or Treat 2010 was officially cancelled at our house. I would have died if I had to leave the couch.

    Mimi and my daughter would be great friends. They have much in common… a love of pink, sparkles, girly stuff in general… oh yeah, and they would cut anyone who gets in their way. Love having me a badass girl!

    P.S. you ROCK as a mom for letting Alex wear what HE wanted for Halloween. I think he’s an AWESOME butterfly, and the boy gets points for originality! I was going to fucking vomit if I saw another Toy Story character (oh yeah, my son WAS one of those annoying characters… oh well!)

  8. Arrrr Mateys! Your kids are so adorable. “A Pirate, A Manly Butterfly and A Fairy Pirate Walk Into a Bar…”is awesome… you now have to figure out the rest of the joke and come up with a great punch line (maybe make it a contest on your blog with you as the judge?)

    I love Halloween, too, but was cranky this year. Sigh. I have to wait until tomorrow to blog about it because today is Autism Shout-Out day and I needed to be all over that.

    Thinking of you as it heads towards Wednesday. Hugs.

  9. Ok … must find costume for Dolce (our little yorkie ) or hey, we can say he is going as a “yorkie” lol… and need to find a neighbourhood that really knows how to celebrate… sounds like its well planned – and something for all ages!!!

    Amelia , you are doing just fine!!! HHL

  10. They learn so quickly don’t they…. when Ash was three she didn’t hesitate to tell people “No chocolate, don’t like it”.
    I went trick or treatin’ for wine and scored at a couple of the neighbors places… you’ll never get me outta here as long as I can T or T for wine!!! AARRRR!!!!!

  11. I LOVE the butterfly costume on him! I love your little pirate, too, of course…and Amelia. Well. Best fairy EVER. I think the last photo shows her spotting something she needs to behead. Or SOMETHING.

    Really enjoyed the reference to your Fists of Fury.

  12. You have an awesome and beautiful family. Pirates arrr also awesome. And your Princess of Bells is awesome and fierce. I’m gonna go sit over for a minute, I have something in my eye.

  13. OMG they are all too cute. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Manly Butterfly, you owned that look Alex.
    And The Fairy Pirate is priceless. She’s a girl after my own heart.

  14. As usually, you cracked me up. But Amelia’s initial reaction to the costume is exactly why I didn’t dress up K for Halloween. Next year, when he has a say for what he wants to be he can wear a costume. Otherwise it’s purely for my entertainment… oh wait! Shit, i should have totally dressed him up.

  15. Adorable! I love that you let Alex do his thing in his manly butterfly costume.

    Mea was a kitty, and her cousin was a doggie. They have a little buddy that came out to do trick or treat with us who was Batman. All night, he kept yelling, “Batcat, Batdog!” At first I seriously thought he was calling them “Bad Cat! Bad Dog!” I’m so slow at times.

  16. “A Pirate, A Manly Butterfly and A Fairy Pirate Walk Into a Bar…” Why? Because she’s crafty and I’m not.

    Ellen DeGeneres would love you.

    I love these pictures and the accompanying story!

    Cheers,

    Mitch

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