While I’m totally aware that there are some nasty people who lurk around on the internet looking to leave mean comments for people going though some shit or another, with the express purpose of making the author feel bad. I’ve seen ‘em in the darnedest of places, popping out now and again to spew nastiness and bad karma around, but they’re not here.

I expected some woodwork crawlers to come out to chastise me for a) feeling badly during such a (to quote my friend Five Husbands) blessed time AND to rail on me for b) considering taking druuuuggggsss while *gasp* pregnant. And while I haven’t closed comments, so the woodwork trolls might pop out at some other time, I was shocked and overwhelmed by the support that The Internet provided me when I really, really needed it.

Thank you sounds more hollow here than I’d like it to, but it’s all I’ve got, unless you want me to stick my coffee-coated tongue down your throat. Which I totally will (if you’re not sick).

With the placebo effect of my Vitamin W on board AND the triumphant return of coffee! to my diet, I admit to feeling loads better. I’m sure the actual omission of struggling and the embarrassing revelation that I might have feelings also contributed to my new feelings of almost-well-being. Honestly, I don’t quite care WHAT it is, so long as I feel more hopeful than I had been feeling.

So, without further long-winded adieu, I welcome you to a new feature on my blog. One that won’t slow down page loads or alert the Work Authorities that you are Not Working. AND, it’s my favorite kind of post since it involves audience participation.

3 Of The Most Cornball Songs I Cannot Live Without (But Can Barely Admit To Liking):

1) Aerosmith’s Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing.

Now, I saw Armageddon, which appeared to me to be one gigantic Pepsi ad (don’t believe me? Go look at the end of the movie, when everyone is all old tyme-y and pretty much everything is covered in American Flags), but had kind of a cute premise. Plus, it had Ben Affleck in it before he got covered in fug, which at the age I was when it came out, was a huge bonus.

But that song. Oh, that song. Oh, how I longed to have someone care about me enough to wonder if I was dreaming about me. Now that I look back on that song, after looking up the lyrics, I’m suddenly shocked that I never saw how creepy it was.

“I don’t wanna close my eyes
I don’t wanna fall asleep
‘Cause I’d miss you, babe
And I don’t wanna miss a thing”

*shudder, shudder*

Who doesn’t like SLEEP? CRAZY PEOPLE, THAT’S WHO.

I suddenly feel relieved that no one seemed to associate that song with me. Because they might be very well polishing my skull into a nice ashtray as we speak.

2) Rod Stewart You’re In My Heart

It’s always been with great trepidation that I inform people that not only do I *like* Rod Stewart, but really, I *love* him. You see, I cut my teeth on good classic rock and metal and Rod Stewart is pretty much Easy Listening, a genre of music I tend to despise.

Regardless, You’re In My Heart is one of the most honest love songs I’ve ever heard, even if the singer has that foppy, weird hair on his head. It’s not all I loved you since the moment I saw you, which makes me believe it, because seriously, the first thing I thought when I met Daver was “Holy shit, he’s wearing black jeans. Who wears black jeans anymore?” Answer: The Daver.

When Rod “The Bod” sings,

“You’re a rhapsody, a comedy
You’re a symphony and a play
You’re every love song ever written
But honey what do you see in me?”

I might even get shivers. Seriously. Maybe even goose-bumps.

3) Bryan Adams Have You Ever Loved A Woman?

Now let’s be clear here: I’ve never really, really ever loved a woman. Sure, I’ve made OUT with them (remember that Ashley? Don’t even pretend it didn’t happen), but I’ve never loved them in the way Mr. Adams implies. In fact, I’ve often been glad that I *didn’t* love them. But alas, I digress.

Really, I don’t even know WHY I love this song so much. Much like Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing, the lyrics certainly leave much to be desired. I mean, when he says stuff like, “she needs somebody to tell her that it’s gonna last forever,” I struck by the way that Daver will remind me of this by cackling wildly and saying, “You’re stuck with me FOREVER.”

But something about his stupid soft voice makes me kind of want to make love on a beach with a hot male model like that Chris Issac video. Or with the guy from House, MD. Or both. Then again, when DON’T I want to do that? Answer? NEVER.

————–

Your turn. C’mon lurkers. I admitted that I liked BRYAN ADAMS. BRYAN “I SUCK” ADAMS.

Comments = full of the awesome. Like gravy. I can haz an RSS RSS feed .

53 Responses to A Gigantic Pile of Cheese

  • 1. Can I Have This Dance, by Anne Murray (my grandma’s influence), so sweet.

    2. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6c9eaxN9HQ
    This song was written for me, so I love it, but can’t listen to it anymore.

    3. Okay, totally random, but my boys and I love this song called “Two-Step ‘Round the Christmas Tree.” I’m not even sure who sings it, but it’s on one of our holiday cd’s and we love it.

    I probably could have come up with something better/more embarassing, but I don’t have any music loaded into my laptop yet, and I’m too lazy to go to the car and get my mp3 player.

  • Oh yeah, thought of one more…every time I play this one for someone they give me THAT LOOK…Bob Segar’s Come to Poppa. Try listenting to it and not boogie-ing.

  • kat says:

    Avril Lavigne’s “Complicated” – did i just type that? she is so my guilty pleasure music. AND i was (and am) obsessed with this little piece of musical bubble gum.

    Rod Stewart’s “Maggie” – well, really, anything by Roddy Rod Rod. I also fall into the ‘i-love-rod-stewart-don’t-tell’ category.

    Taylor Swift – “Our Song is A Slammin’ Screen Door” … i just want to roll all my car windows down and scream (sing) it.

  • Oh, this is so hard! There are so many. However, I will reveal that I am a 70s disco freak! I just can’t help but start boogieing when I hear it. C’mon…admit it! If “Shake your Groove thing” came on you’d be shaking it! It’s ok, I won’t tell.

  • Most of the songs I really love make me cry.

  • Badass Geek says:

    If Bryan Adams had not written that song, he probably would never have gotten laid.

    Anyways, here are my 3 Of The Most Cornball Songs I Cannot Live Without (But Can Barely Admit To Liking):

    1) Pink Floyd – “Wish You Were Here”
    I don’t think I need to explain this one.

    2) Billy Joel – “She’s Got A Way”
    This song almost always makes me cry when I sing along to it. I have a lot of memories associated with the song, too.

    3) Maroon 5 – Anything from their Songs About Jane album.
    I don’t really know why I like this album. I hate their newest one, but for some reason… I just really enjoy their SAJ album.

    But I’m not ashamed.

  • Em says:

    I’ve been blessed with XM Radio – so I get all those great 70s, 80s and 90s right at my fingertips. I never want to get out of my truck.

    1. “Unpretty” by TLC – so deep for such a shallow era.

    2. “Right Here Waiting for You” by Richard Marx. Exposing myself here, but I cannot listen to this song without crying – seriously.

    3. “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn” by Poison. Sigh. This soccer mom loves her some Hair Rock Ballads.

    P.S. Great minds think alike (check me out if you get a second). Warning: do turn down your speakers if you are at work.

    Em

  • Daddy Files says:

    1) “More Than Words” by Extreme. But I’ll bet I’m not alone here.

    2) “Closer I am To Fine” by the Indigo Girls (Tell anyone and we will have issues!)

    3) “Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm” by Crash Test Dummies. His voice is completely comical yet I still listen to the song. “Onnnnce there was this gggggirlllll who, wouldn’t go and change with the gggggirlllls in the change room…”

  • T says:

    I hope you dance.

    More than words.

    And I’m with you on the Aerosmith song. I’m not sure why but it pulls on the appropriate heart string.

    I think for me it had something to do with the daughter/father dynamic of the Tylers on that one but I’m not sure.

    I am adding my bit of support and cyber cheer to your recently confessed issues late here but they are none the less heartfelt. I hope you are feeling sassy again soon!

  • mumma boo says:

    Oh we’re talking serious embarrassment here, but what the hell..

    1) “I’ve Done Everything For You” – Rick Springfield. Yes, Dr. Noah Drake and I go WAY back. *sigh* One of the best f**k off songs ever written.

    2) “You’re My Home” – Billy Joel. Bawl my eyes out every time I hear it – if we’d had a band/dj at our wedding, that would have been our first dance.

    3) “Have You Ever Loved A Woman” – Bryan Adams. Like you, I’m not sure why I like this one, except (mush alert! mush alert!), it reminds me of the hubby. (who also wore black jeans, btw)

  • Hey – you won my guess the sex contest from the other day. I knit stuff and since you are having a girl, I was thinking about knitting something pink. Email me to give me some idea of what you might like!

    Oh, and caffeine… I had to reintroduce it as well. I blame it on my super low blood pressure and it seems to be working at keeping it more reasonable. Or something. I just like my tea. ;)

  • heather... says:

    I’m not going to lie, I love that Brian Adams song too. But mostly because I imagine Johnny Depp kissing me every time I hear it. mmmmm.

    All my other music taste is impeccable…meaning, I’m not telling about my secret affection for Debbie Gibson or 80′s power ballads.

  • Kgrrrl says:

    I played Bryan Adams’ “Everything I do I do it for you” for my mom and stepdad on the piano at their wedding. My mom played that and good old Roddy til the ‘tapes’ yes tapes, died. I know all the words to both their albums. I cry when I hear: At last – by etta james, but I think a lot of people like that.
    Yes, good old Extreme – LOVE that “More than words.”
    my boyfriend is a HUGE rock ballad guy – and likes to put random music on my ipod – it’s weird, but kinda cute at the same time.
    Oh when my best friend was preggers, I insisted she still keep coffee! Much nicer of a person and two kids later? Nothing wrong with them!

  • Ashley says:

    I completely agree on both Aerosmith and Mr. Adams. I can in fact take it a step further and say Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams does it for me to…

    The on thing I’m sure of (dramatic pause ) is the way we make love. The one thing I depend on (dramatic pause) is for us to stay strong.

    Oh yes, I am singing to you baby…

  • Ashley says:

    Oh, and I forgot. I considered Aerosmith for our first dance, but would be too ashamed for people to know how much I love it.

  • Brooke says:

    Oh wow…so many great songs mentioned in the comments! Love both More Than Words, and Right Here Waiting for You. Richard Marks was the first concert I ever went to. I was 7 and I fell in love. lol Oh…and I am a total Disco fien.

    My top 3 totally embarrassing songs I love:

    1) “Still the One,” by Shania Twain. I really thought this song was written for my ex and I. And then I thought it was written for the guy I dated after him, my sons father. Turns out I just pick really bad men! lol This song was playing though when I told Matt that he was going to be a dad, music courtesey of my BFF. It was a perfectly cheesey, chick flick moment.

    2) “Wind Beneath My Wings,” by Bette Midler. Really…it doesn’t get any more cheesey than Wind Beneath My Wings. It never fails to make me tear up a little though. When I was in 7th grade my BFF and I (the same one who added the sound track in Cheesey Song #1) sang this song as a duet in the regional Solo Contest. So it reminds me of her, and my sister. The two constants in my life. I totally wrecked everything beautiful about that song, and she shone like a bright star. She truly was the Wind Beneath My Wings. (How is that for laying it on thick?)

    3) “Jet Plane,” by Chantal Kreviazuk on the Armageddon sountrack. My son and I listen to this soundtrack all of the time (he likes Come Together by Aerosmith) and it never fails to pull at my heart strings. It does kind of piss me off that she is talking about fooling around on her lover, but in the next verse promises to marry him when she gets back. I kind of want to tell her lover to grow some balls. But the song still makes me weepy.

    Fun game, Aunt Becky!

  • Karen says:

    You are such a sap! My guilty pleasure songs are more peppy. “This is how we do it” by Montel Jordan, “Wanna Be” by the Spice Girls, anything by Hillary Duff. So sad.

  • I like “don’t take the girl’ Tim McGraw (who has quite the fine ass…) circa 1994
    http://www.lyricsfreak.com/t/tim+mcgraw/dont+take+the+girl_20137360.html
    I almost ALWAYS cry to this song. I swear.
    lol
    I am a HUGE geek..

    and screw the trolls..they can all take a flying leap of off the nearest bridge..meddling fuckers anyways..

  • Allman Brothers: Sweet Melissa

    Dave Matthews/Carlos Santana: Love of my life (still rips me up every time, used to dance with my ex to it)

    Grateful Dead: Brokedown palace

    I bet Youtube has all of them if you look them up

  • p.s. so glad you’re feeling a little better!

  • Meg says:

    I love your description of how you felt listening to the aerosmith songs. I too have pathetic teenage memories of wishing for someone to sing such beautiful power ballads for me. Blick.

    Check these out, 80s power ballad lovers!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p61Q_DOwtps

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLc_Vug7mS0

  • heather says:

    Daniel – either Elton John or Wilson Phillips. Oh, hell, I totally heart Wilson Phillips whatever it is.

    Cold November Rain – is this Guns N Roses? I think.

    Man in the Mirror – Jacko

    Some sappy, some not. All shameful, no?

  • Calliope says:

    first you try to steal my Vincent and NOW you are angling for my Rod (heh- that sounds so good and dirty). ‘You’re in my Heart ‘ is my 2nd favorite song in the whole universe (after ‘You can’t Always get what you Want’).

    Other guilty pleasure songs; ‘Everything’ by Alanis Moreohshit I can’t spell her last name; also a total pushover for select songs of Dan Fogelburg, James Taylor and “Jolene” (Dolly’s version)

    But man oh man…I do love the Rod. I have every album. Just this morning I was listening to ‘Sailing’…man I love that song.

    I need to e-mail you about the W. I am having envy!

  • Madame Yu See says:

    I remember “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing,” more from the movie “The Sweetest Thing” than from Armageddon – you know the scene I’m thinking of?
    I can’t think of 3 songs right now, that’s sad.

  • Elizabeth Ann says:

    I love the Bryan Adams, especially during his “comeback” 5 or 6 years ago he came out with “The Only Thing That Looks Good on Me is You!” While it is not a love song it is so awesomely trashy. Everytime it comes up on my iPod and other are around, I hastily skip it and mumble something about “how did that get one there?!”

    “Shadow Dancer” by the BeeGees I cannot help but bust out my crappy moves when I hear this. Their etherally effeminate voices call to me.

    “Don’t let me be the last to know” by Britney Spears. jesus tap-dancing christ I cannot believe I just put that into the great wide internet.

    I’m sure I have worse offenders than that lurking in the depths of my music collection.

    I’m glad you’re feeling better. I admit I never know what to say when people are having a hard time. I always end up making some sort of innapropriate joke. Jokes with words like Nantucket in them, or Thats What She Said jokes. I’m really quite bad at consoling people.

  • giggleblue says:

    i think everyone else has already named every suck balls song known to man.

    btw, i moved. just delete blogspot and put wordpress. simple enough, no?

  • Cricket says:

    Becky, I haven’t read for a couple days, so I didn’t realize how you’re feeling. Congrats for trying to get a handle on it.

  • A Soldier's Girl says:

    And I have missed you!!!!

    One of the things I hate most about being so damn busy is that I can’t keep up with you & your funny stories!

    I am sorry you are feeling so crappy…I say take all the meds you can! What good is a mom if she is feeling like shit?!?

    Take care!!!!

  • Fancy says:

    hey, Dollface, I gave you an “award”. Please check out my last post, when you get a chance.

  • kate says:

    i would be happy to point my snarky commenter karla your way. want me to?

  • Edward says:

    Right now atleast…I’m in a particulllarly “gay” mood as in I love dudes….um well…

    Lets Go to Bed …The Cure
    I wanna Be Your Dog….Iggy Pop
    Damn…something by Nine Inch Nails…the devil wants to fuck me in the back of his car…yeah like that.

    I’m glad to hear that you got some real support for being a little down….it’s o.k.really!

  • Collette says:

    What’s more scary than liking Bryan Adams? Picking “I Finally Found Someone” by Bryan Adams and Streisand as your wedding song. Whats worse…my husband picked it, not me.

    My songs: Endless Summer Nights by Richard Marx, Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson, and Eternal Flame by the Bangles.

  • Lola says:

    Well, there’s no way you’re more of a Rod fan than I, and I ain’t ashamed to admit it. I had that rooster-haired sex machine plastered all over my walls when I was a kid, and my iPod is full of the old chap.

    However, I think I’m going to go with:

    1. Queen – Fat Bottomed Girls (or anything from them)

    2. Cyndi Lauper – Time After Time

    3. ‘Til Tuesday – Voices Carry

    4. The Smiths – The Queen is Dead and/or I Know It’s Over

    5. Cher – Gypsies, Tramps & Thieves. I sing that sucka every day!

  • The entire Rod Stewart Unplugged and Seated release, plus “Forever Young.”

    Mmmbop. (Don’t be a hater, yo.)

    The Ballad of Jayne

    My iPod is littered with shameless nuggets of wonderfulness!

    Glad you are feeling better!

  • SCY says:

    Hmmmm, I hate to admit this but I love “Tiptoe through the Tulips” – it is so cheesy and the singer can hardly sing but it brings back school memories…

    Also Islands in the Stream (that is what we are, no-one inbetween) by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers *le sigh*

    Amazed by Lonestar (our wedding song – very cheesy but I LOVE it…)

    xxxx

  • Jenn says:

    I only like GOOD music. Ahahahah.

    Umm I really, really do hate that Bryan Adams song you mentioned. I am mostly “eh” to all of his songs (though I do like that Summer of ’69 one) but I can’t stand that one at all. And I have never heard of that Rod Stewart song but I do get a bit weepy at “Forever Young.” I blame that on having kids, though. Ahem.

    Hmm… songs I’m embarrassed to admit that I like? In no particular order:

    “Photograph” by Nickelback
    “Ice Cream” by Sarah McLaughlin
    “What a Girl Wants” by Christina Aguilera

    I’m actually not that embarrassed to admit that I like them. There isn’t any song that I own that I would lie about. I like what I like and I can’t help it so meh.

    I’m relieved to hear that no one was unkind regarding your other post. Anyone who knows you at all also knows that you wouldn’t do anything that you believed would hurt the baby. I’m just happy that you are feeling better! xoxo

  • honeywine says:

    But…but…I love Bryan Adams (I may have to never again hear “Everything I Do” since it was mine & M.’s song)…what dost thou mean, he sucketh??? NEVAH!

  • heather says:

    I love those songs and any music of that genre. I also really like a lot of 80′s music, or as my husband refers to it Gayties. Some of those songs have awful lyrics, but I love them anyway.

  • Maria says:

    Elton John, I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues

    Crosby Stills and Nash, Southern Cross

    and worst:

    Dixie Chicks, Wide Open Spaces

  • stacey k says:

    okay…..my turn
    #1– blame it on the rain— mili vanilli—yes i realize they didn’t really sing the song and got a bogus grammy…but i like ‘em anyway.

    #2–it might be you—stephen bishop (an oldie but a goodie)

    #3 I can only imagine—mercy me—i 1st heard this on a you tube video about a father of a grown man w/ cerebal palsy who runs marathons, iron mans, and triathalon—all w/ his son it tow–be it by boat or modified bicycle—a very moving video

  • Ms. Moon says:

    Bruce Springsteen’s Thunder Road.

    “The screen door slams.
    Mary’s dress waves.
    Like a vision she dances across the porch
    As the radio plays.
    Roy Orbison singing for the lonely.
    That’s me and I want you only.
    Don’t turn me home again
    I just can’t face myself alone again.
    Don’t run back inside, darling
    You know just what I’m here for.
    So you’re scared and you’re thinking that maybe
    We ain’t that young anymore.
    Show a little faith!
    There’s magic in the night.
    You ain’t a beauty but hey
    You’re all right
    Oh, and that’s all right with me.

    You can hide ‘neath your covers and study your pain
    Make crosses from your lovers,
    Throw roses in the rain……”

    God. I love Bruce.

  • Mark says:

    Bryan Adams does not suck!!! When Jimmy quit and Julie got married, he stuck with it and made quite a career for himself.

  • Miss Grace says:

    Stand By Me, All By Myself, I don’t know if I can list anymore and remain sufficiently badass. Sorry.

  • momumo says:

    I cannot freaking believe I’m putting this in writing –

    Mandy – by Barely Manenough (Barry Manilow)

    that’s it, but seriously, it’s cheesy enough to be all three right!

  • Jane says:

    “Shameless” as sung by Garth Brooks. Oh god, I can’t believe I just admitted that.

  • Ellie says:

    First of all, I love “without further adieu” — I’m using that. Screw “ado”.

    Second of all, Engelbert Humperdinck’s “After the Loving”. It is THE best cornball, and yet highly emotional with beautiful sentikent, song. Ever.

  • Coco says:

    OK, listen. First of all I am so sorry I wasn’t around to lend moral support while you were in a bad way. I think about you all the time, I am happy to hear about Little Taco on the way, I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better, and you must NEVER apologize for venting and needing some of the lurve to get you through your day.

    You know your beloved Interwebz Aunt Becky Groupies, of which I am one, will attack any trollz who ever did crawl here with vicious efficiency, and send them shrieking back over to the political blogs where they belong.

    Now, here are my Cheese Nominees:

    The entire soundtrack to “Flash Gordon” by Queen. I know I’m not the only one, all the rest of you know that you sing along too. ‘Fess up.

    “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” – Cutting Crew. Yes, I am an 80′s Pop Music Survivor and I LOVE it.

    “Pour Some Sugar On Me” – Def Leppard. See above. Also, I once made out heavily to it with a guy who was so beautiful that my friends admiringly referred to him as “Jesus”. Yes, it was heretical and disresepctful. But hey, we were 17 and dang, he WAS that hot.

  • Ann says:

    I cannot believe that I am going to admit this, but I am:
    For you:
    *ahem*

    Goodbye Earl.
    (I know!)

    She was a fast machine she kept her motor clean she was the best damn woman that I ever seen….is another crazy fave. =/

  • Sandy says:

    The fact that I absolutely lurve anything that Kid Rock ever puts out should be my 1,2 and 3, right?

    Seriously, I am so ashamed of my love for that man and his music. I think it’s my parents’ white trash influence that I’ve tried to overcome, but still lives deep down inside me.

  • Catizhere says:

    I’ve seen Rod in concert 4 times. Love.that.man!
    My fave Rod song is: I Don’t Want To Talk About It”
    Makes me cry every time.

    Embarrassing? How ’bout Barry Manilow?

    I think he is one of the finest songwriters alive today(he IS alive right?)

    1. Wildfire – Can’t think of who sings it… It’s a song about a horse.

    2. Wildflower- skylark

    3. Home – Michael Buble Oh, to be loved like that…

  • mandy says:

    Hi darling, I will be so pleased if my comp doesn’t crap out before this comment posts..

    I am going to admit that I can never think of a song off the top of my head, HOWEVER, I too am a mushpot over that brian adams song. Have you ever loved a woman? When I hear it, I sing along as loud as I can and think I sound good. Then I cry, I really cry as I am singing it. I haven’t heard it since I got married, but I don’t think I would cry if I heard it today-because I have someone to love me like that…awww. (puts arms around self)

    I love the pumpkin patch stuff too, the farmy stuff-that doesn’t cost a lot. We just went for a field trip and the farmy kind is all you can find around here, so we were in luck. The first and second years I lived here, I was so clueless about the area and didn’t find a place to go. I was sad. Now, I am satisfied. Except it wasn’t very cool when we went, it was sorta hot actually. I don’t like that. It should be cool in the autumn.

    I am so glad vitamin w is on board and working well. Makes me happy.

  • tash says:

    Is it bad that I’m not wholly embarrassed that I actually like things on Lola’s list above?

    Yes?

    Augh.

  • PajamaChick says:

    um, the Pina Colada Song.
    Straight Tequila Night
    Beautiful – by Christiana Aquilera (whatever I can’t spell)
    So much like my dad – George Strait.

    Yeah, I am going to go cry in a corner now. LOL
    Thanks,
    PajamaChick

    And I am on the narcotics and the xanax and the vitamin C (Cymbalta) and the nicotine and I still feel like shit.
    Watch me get knocked up. Lordy.

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