tough question…I’m pretty up to trying ANYTHING!! I’d have to say it’s toss up between bungee jumping and crawling into a tank full of cockroaches (got that from Fear Factor–remember that show?)

For love? Amour? Amore? Anything…Including getting married three times…

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*Butt- I won’t do that*
For love, I’d do a lot of things. Keep it out of my butt, though.

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well, I wouldn’t kill anybody. Probably I would avoid anything that risked jail time in prison, unless it was one of those country club white collar crime prisons you hear about.

other than criminal offenses…and riding on ferris wheels… I’m open to suggestion.

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Well, there’s obvious things like I’d never go down on my Grandpa. Then there’s less obvious things like I’d never touch a squirrel.

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I won’t listen to Miley Cyrus. It’s against my religion.

I won’t get plugs in my ears.

I won’t own a ferret or a hamster or any rodent, everrrr.

I won’t wear spandex as a fashion statement.

I won’t wear a bluetooth or crocs.

I won’t drink white zinfandel.

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Fizzle Reply:
December 25th, 2009 at 8:00 pm

Hey I have a chinchilla. She’s adorable. Not all rodents are bad, Ms. Mannix.

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Have you ever seen the show on Spike called “1000 ways to die”? Buy a tapeworm off the internet was one of the ways! Baaaaaaaad idea.

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A Tapeworm? Guh-Rody. My sister is on the heavier side and her MIL suggested that she try meth. No lie.

I would do anything to be skinny…but I won’t do THAT.

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I think anal leakage is something I’d do ANYTHING to avoid.

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I totally guffawed at Miss Spoken’s comment. BLECH. VOMIT.

Are we talking about what I wouldn’t do ever, in general, or to lose weight…? To lose weight, I’m desperate right now, so I’d probably do anything. A tape work sounds quite appealing if I don’t focus on how said tape worm has to leave my body. I grew up hearing about tapeworms escaping while one swims in warm pools…

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(correction – a tape worm, not a tape work)

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I got e-coli once in Morocco and thought it was pretty horrible. But then I dropped 10 lbs in 7 days and everyone told me how good I look and the best part was I could eat anything. I was in a huge hurry to get rid of it, and then I did, but now I realize it was a super easy way to lose weight quickly.
Another awesome way to lose weight… having a baby in the NICU + pumping all the time – eating = skinniest I’ve been since HS

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I will not get my belly button pierced because I would never find that shit ever again.

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What happened to pashmina? Why is she your former blogging friend? Did the tapeworm kill her? Did anal leakage come between you?

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Never? Never is a long, long time. I don’t think I can commit to never. Wait? Is that something I’d never do? What was the question again?

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I would never use a Ouija board. Because too many fucked up things happen.

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Tapeworms… the ideal gift for the glutton who is hard to buy for.

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I clicked on the link to the worm site. I don’t think the “after” of the before and after shots on the front page look any better. You go though all that and it doesn’t even cure your psoriasis? WTF! Plus I’m not convinced that it’s the same body part in the pictures.

What wouldn’t I do? Hmm…hard to say. I probably wouldn’t go sky diving. There is no reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane (as my Dad always says).

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So..this just caught my eye:

“introduction of small doses of intestinal worms may be effective in the treatment of asthma, allergies, and some autoimmune conditions.”

’cause I want to get a tapeworm to cure my allergies!

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Why did it not work? Did you get the explosive diarrhea with the inability to control it while wearing white pants in the grocery store?

Cuz, that is why I wouldn’t try it. I mean I feared for the office so my fear after that would be another public place with fluorescent lighting.

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No skydiving, no bungee jumping. Yet I have zero fear of flying.

Anything else that I say is situational. I would never kill someone for no reason, but if someone tried to hurt my family…well, the cops wouldn’t even be able to determine exactly what happened.

Also, my friend has lost 89 pounds since April with HCG. No complaints of anal leakage whatsoever.

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My go-to answer has always been “I would never jump out of a perfectly good airplane”. But last time this post was here, someone told me there is no such thing. So I’m at a loss.

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Ok, first off. I tried Alli. I can’t tell you how many times I nearly sharted. And when I say “nearly” I mean, “really.” No. Just no. I will say though, I took it once before eating Sonic, and when I actually finally shit out the Sonic, it was actually pretty macabre to see all of that fat floating on top of the water.

Second, I love that you can buy tapeworms off the internet. You really can buy ANYTHING off the internet. I’ve always wanted one, but I was always afraid that it would try and make its way out and that’s really just a feeling I don’t ever want to experience.

Maybe I’ll just try and get Mono.

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you know I have often thought about getting a tapeworm to help in this weight loss thing. Nice to know that I can do it online if I want. Thanks LOL

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 pm

The Internet is WONDROUS.

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I think someone slipped some Alli in my Chinese food the other day…

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 pm

Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me this week. Someone switched my water with Alli. Because SERIOUSLY.

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First of SHARTED – I am dying laughing. Because I may or may not have done that on numerous occasions (IBS is such fun, its when you learn that sometimes a fart is not just a fart)

Second. I just realized you said that Meatloaf song was about a DONUT. And it just hit me that you said that. Won’t do a donut? Won’t EAT a donut (he doesnt look that picky) TELL!!!

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katryn Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:24 pm

I’ve always wondered about that Meatloaf song. Saying it’s about donuts is the same as saying the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. It doesn’t make sense! It is a case of TLI (as opposed to TMI). Aaargh *head explodes with frustration*

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:05 pm

Trust me. It took me banging my head against a wall to get that reference. Apparently, the dude is fat, right? So his wife is all “LOSE WEIGHT” and he’s all “NO” and she’s all “YES” and he’s all “I will do ANYTHING FOR LOVE, but I won’t do THAT.”

Hence: donuts.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:09 pm

Okay: so the dude is fat, right? Whatever, I’m not being mean, OBVIOUSLY, I’m trying to get the baby LBS off too. And his wife is all “lose some weight, yo” and he’s all “NO” and she’s all “YES” and he’s all “NO!” and she’s all “lose weight or I’m leaving you” and he’s all “I will do anything for love, but I won’t do that.”

See? DONUTS.

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Melissa Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 10:55 am

Brilliant! I am going to use this at dinner tonight. My family will of course look at me strangely and ask if I am drunk (which I probably will be) and give me The Blank Stare. Because they so totally dont get My(your) sense of humor.

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I don’t understand the idea of Alli. I mean…why not just quit the fast food in the first place? I tried it, but I already don’t eat a lot of fatty stuff so it did like…nothing.

Also. Tapeworm officially grossed me out!!

When are you going to get your tattoo?

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Melissa Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Because its all about the cheeseburgers and pizza sometimes Melanie.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:07 pm

I had the same issues with Alli. I didn’t eat enough garbage for it to do anything for me besides make me, uh, well, gain a pound.

I’m getting my tattoo on Sunday! YAY!

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Well lover there are not many things I won’t do so I will give you a list of things that I won’t get to do.

1) I will never get to be a famous pop star.
2) I will never get to experience an erection longer than 4 hours.

AND SADLY

3) I will never get to have sex with Dave Grohl.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm

I totally have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours for Dave Grohl.

WAIT…

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It’s amazing what people can make money off of these days isn’t it??

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm

You’ve got to imagine it’s a booming business, too, right?

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Never do? Go into politics. Talk about worms and intestinal discharge…

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:06 pm

Bwahahahaha! GOOD ONE.

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One thing I would never do? My twenties. The fucked-upped-ness that was my brain at 22-27 is not welcome here. Never. Again.

Oh, and naked bowling. Let’s never do that.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:05 pm

I’m really looking forward to kissing my 20’s goodbye. And naked bowling is wrong on EVERY level I can think of.

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I will absolutely not ever have my nipples pierced. I can say that with absolute certainty. Definitely not ever. Never.

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I tried alli and it caused a very embarrassing situation. And I would not do much naked. My tummy jiggles. Nor would I do Meatloaf (speaking of.) That dude is fug. But I would so go for a doughnut right now.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm

Alli is MASTER of embarrassing situations. Good thing I didn’t wear OR OWN white pants. HA.

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I’d like to think that I’m pretty game for just about anything that is legal.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:03 pm

That’s why we love you, Rebecca. (Why does spell check hate our name?)

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Rebecca Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 10:59 am

I think that spell check hates our name because we don’t spell it the biblical way. Rebekah see, no red marks on that one. I’ve never met one Rebekah….but have meet several Rebecca’s which, according to spell check, is spelled incorrectly. Whatever, we are both smarter than some dumb spell check.

Just for the record, I’m Lutheran and try to attend church whenever possible, I’m not dissin’ on the biblical spelling.

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Oh there was a question there?

Ok, I would never go onto that show “The Fear Factor”, not because of the stunts, but because of the parts where they make you eat, chew and swallow things like various kinds of animal penis, large bugs, etc.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm

Is that show still ON?

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Melissa Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:29 pm

No idea. They lost me at deer penis. Or was it moose? And I had the audacity to WATCH people CHEWING. It was a done deal from there.

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I wouldn’t eat bugs. Or have anything to do with mice. Euuuw!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 6:59 pm

GAH. No. Mice are okay, but I wouldn’t eat bugs.

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Amy Reply:
December 24th, 2009 at 6:19 am

Oh c’mon, am I the only mum who’s been forced to watch The Lion King (a thousand million times) lately? Hakuma Matata? Bugs are supposedly slimey but satisfying!

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Hmm. There are a lots of things I’d NEVER do; because I’m an overanxious worrier type. LOL. Listing them would take TOO LONG.

This tape worm talk grosses me the heck out, lol.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Shit, I know. I couldn’t reread this because I was all EWWWW and I’m nauseous already.

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i wouldnt go on any reality tv show, other than that Im pretty open minded, well actually I should say I always cave to peer pressure…

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Best comment ever!

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I must ditto Miss Spoken. Because I am extremely unoriginal.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 pm

I’m as freaking UNORIGINAL as they come and I sloshed water all over the damn keyboard as I read that. I’m so sending her the bill.

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You can buy a tapeworm? Sign me up!

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 5:47 pm

Isn’t that the AWESOMEST (yet grossest) thing ever?

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Eff Alli, I’m going back on Adderall when I stop nursing. I dropped 15 lbs in two months AND got a 3.5 GPA that quarter! Ha.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 11:02 pm

Hells YES! The topamax helps tremendously too. I have NO appetite.

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All I want for Christmas is a post from you without anal leakage being mentioned.

But like the Stones say, You Can’t Always Get What You Want.

Merry Christmas, my friend.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 pm

Merry Christmas, Sci-Fi. Here’s hoping that Santa brings you an anal leakage free weekend.

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I’m a little bit freaked out about how said tapeworm would enter the digestive track. Do you have to swallow it? Can it be balled up and covered up with soemthing like peanut butter (though that is probably a poor choice to help one quickly swallow a tapeworm down)? I could do it as long as I didn’t have to slurp it down like a long, slimey string. Ewww.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 pm

Apparently, it’s a larvae that you swallow, but I’ve HEARD that you have to travel to get it. I would rather have my colon removed than get a tapeworm, though. It’s tempting, but not THAT tempting.

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I will be fat and fabulous before I will swallow a goddamn worm…..unless said worm were ground up and incorporated into a nice hummus and served with some blue corn tortilla chips and a glass of cabernet…and I didn’t know it.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 23rd, 2009 at 10:54 pm

Now I’m craving some tortilla chips. And I’ll be dipped in shit before I eat a worm. Hell no.

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I double-dog dare you to try Alli. And triple-dare you to post your results. $10 says you shit yourself within a month. (I may or may not be speaking from experience.)
Matter of fact, I have the remainders of a bottle I could send you to try it out.

I wouldn’t let anyone handcuff me to a bed naked. Because I’d surely be the girl that wakes up naked, hungover, and alone. Then what?

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What a fantastic question. I would never let anyone film me. Period. Doing anything. Because the internet and Movie Maker can be cruel, malicious tools.

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I’m usually game to try things…although sometimes I have to steel my nerves. I WON’T eat innards, though, and my days of eating what’s put in front of me for politeness’s sake are long gone.

I won’t intentionally do something that would harm another, and I won’t allow someone to come to harm if I can help it. I won’t let a child go without Christmas, or Chanukah, or a birthday gift if I can help it.

And I won’t take a pill that could make me dump buckets of horrible just because I wanted a dang egg for breakfast.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who wonders what it was Meatloaf wouldn’t do for doghnuts…)

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I will NEVER try anything that involves “falling”. Like skydiving or bungee jumping. I have fallen in love so that doesn’t count.

Oh, and I would NEVER try Alli. Anal leakage and I don’t get along. I have allergies. I hear sneezing can really cause problems.

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Wow, a whole new take on Meatloaf, must dig out that CD. I don’t know what I wouldn’t do, I have done so much I said I wouldn’t so now I hesitate to say, “Of course I won’t do that!”

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I tried it, too. I lost about 5 lbs before I began not taking it if I was going to eat a fatty meal. Which was about 3 times per day. Waste of money and nice underwear.

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There was a show on Nat’l Geographic (or similar station) that had a Doctor/scientist who gave himself tapeworm on purpose by eating raw meat infected with the larvae. You could see the larva eggs all over it. He did it in the name of science he said. UGH! Then as the show progressed, maybe a day or so went by, & VOILA, he went to shit in the bushes, washed it off his hand & showed the camera the tapeworm. How’s that for an educational tv show? Ewww! LOL

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I’m too consumed by all out falling off my futon laughter to think about that question right now but really had to tell you that I love your blog. Since finding it a few weeks ago it’s been my comic relief and I think it’s actually really good for my mental health. You’re f ing hilarious!
Much love to you and your family, Hope you’re having a great Christmas!

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On a serious note, I would NEVER let my “love” screw over my family and let him steal money from my dad’s business… I would never do that for love.
On the funny side I would uhm never jump off of a high dive. Because it combines two of my fears heights and deep water. My palms are sweating just thinking about it.
Oh and I would never like U2 for love. Eww. Sorry to the U2 fans out there. (I just shuddered)
I looked into Ali as I eat fatty food all the time and figured that anal leakage would be a good deterrent for me to stop eating all the fatty food. But then the price got me. I don’t have that kind of money to spend on sharting.

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Your Aunt Becky Reply:
December 26th, 2009 at 1:55 pm

I would never, ever jump out of an airplane. Even with a parachute. Because it’s not socially acceptable to poo yourself in public unless you’re very young.

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