Blogging For Dummies.

June 18th, 2009
  • Most blogs have about a one year shelf life.
  • There is such a thing as over-posting, but I’m unclear as to what that is.
  • Blogging takes a ton of work. Really, it does.
  • The trolls will come and they do not read most of what you say before they chew you out in the comments.
  • It’s really up to you whether or not you allow the trolls to have their say on your blog.
  • No one will read you for a couple months. It’s okay. Soldier on.
  • If you want people to read you, read other blogs.
  • You may be 1000% certain that you are The New Dooce, but you’re not. Now, you might be as talented as fucking Hemmingway, but you’re not going to get the same press that she did. No press = no instant popularity.
  • There’s more politics than you can imagine in blogging.
  • If you want more comments then comment until your fingers bleed.
  • Get a reader and subscribe to the blogs you like. Comment the shit out of those blogs. People will (eventually) come.
  • I’m more likely to comment on your blogs if you’re a loyal commentor on my blog.
  • There will be bloggers who will NEVER visit your blog no matter how many amazing and witty comments you leave. Period. Move on if it hurts your feelings.
  • Begging for comments is distasteful.
  • Support each other as best as you can, in good times and in bad. Every comment helps.
  • Every couple of weeks, some new trend will piss off a number of (especially) mom bloggers  and they will become annoyingly polarized.
  • Resist the urge to chime in about Your Take On This Trend. Seriously.
  • Every time the Today show features Dooce, there’s a bazillion start up blogs that believe (hehe) that you can $40,000 a month blogging. Maybe if you’re Dooce that’s true, but for the rest of us? Bwahahahahaha! I don’t mean to sound mean, and if you do manage this, pat yourself on your back for me but don’t get your hopes up.
  • Whenever one of those stupid blog contests gets started, everyone freaks out. It will blow over.
  • If you’re totally blocked for ideas about a post, describing the boring minutiae of your day is probably not titillating to others. Write it if you must, then delete it. Hopefully that will get your juices flowing and you can write about something more interesting. A turd of a post will always look like a turd  no matter how you dress it up.
  • Talking shit about anyone–especially behind their backs on your blog that they presumably don’t read–is a bad fucking idea. Password protect those, or better yet, don’t write them at all. Although they may be satisfying, remember, those are the posts that the very same people you talk about may find. It’s a smaller Internet than you think it is and you’re not as anonymous as you think you are.
  • If you don’t want people to respond in a negative manner, then don’t let it all hang out there. Not everyone will agree with you and there are people who will happily tell all of the ways you are wrong. You don’t have to like it, but if you put it out there, you do have to deal with it.
  • There is something about being able to hide behind “anonymous” that makes people say really dick-ish things that they probably wouldn’t say to your face. It can hurt, I know this, and people will get you all wrong and it will suck, but if you don’t want to deal with it, go private or password protected.
  • Your feelings will get hurt. I promise you this.
  • Although most of your followers will wish you well, there will always, ALWAYS be a contingent that hopes that you will fail. And fail badly.
  • Sarcasm doesn’t always translate well through the written word, so be careful when you use it.
  • Music on blogs is universally hated. If you want to put it on there, it’s wise to leave the playlist on mute and allow other people to turn it on should they want.
  • Don’t clog up your sidebar with crap. Especially blinky crap. Because it makes the page take like 40 hours to load and then people will click away because who really wants to sit there, waiting for the page to load?
  • Don’t put shit on the Internet you wouldn’t wear on a tee-shirt.
  • Beware of the donate button. It causes many people to be very, very mad.
  • Begging for money pisses people off.
  • Constant self-promotion can be a real turn-off.
  • Meme’s, although a nice tool to get the writing juices flowing, are usually boring to read. If you like doing ‘em, then fuck it and do ‘em anyway.
  • Edit your posts. Edit them religious.
  • Paragraph breaks are a necessity. I cannot read anything not broken up by paragraphs.
  • The background of your post needs to be something that is appealing to the eyes. Some colors (especially pink, which is a favorite color of mine) although lovely, leave the reader squinty and headachey. Check out what your finished post looks like YOURSELF and see if you can read it without adjusting your monitor.
  • A black background is very, very hard to read.
  • If all your tweets on Twitter are links to stuff that people can buy from you or ways to get a zillion followers overnight, you’ve probably pissed off a good portion of your readers.
  • There is such a thing as over-sharing.
  • Remember that your kids may one day read whatever you’ve written, so choose what you share (especially about them) well.
  • Writer’s Block does end.
  • Don’t lie. And for God’s sake, don’t fake a dead baby. I don’t even have words to describe people who do that sort of thing.
  • Don’t idolize the success of another blogger. Also, don’t hate them for it. In blogging, you often get what you put into it. And the higher you climb, the more pressure there is.
  • Be kind to other people. You gain nothing by being cruel.
  • Blog for yourself, not for other people.
  • Stuff on the Internet–even the stuff you erase–is never, ever, EVER gone. EVER. So make DAMN sure you want to live with whatever you say.
  • Remember, it’s all supposed to be fun. Enjoy what you write, take pride in it, and if someone else comes along and tells you that you suck, tell them that Aunt Becky told them to shove it up their pooper.

————-

What am I missing here?

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131 Responses to “Blogging For Dummies.”

  1. avasmommy on June 18, 2009 12:19 pm

    I think this is an awesome post. I started my own blog last month. I’ve had a few folks read it, and the feedback is nice. But I’ve found writing to be cathartic. It’s made me more introspective. If nobody ever reads my posts again, that’s ok, because *I* get something of writing it.

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  2. Creepy Mommy on June 18, 2009 12:32 pm

    This great and really, really thorough! Also, love the tag. I’m also fond of rum and Simon and Garfunkel. But mostly just Simon, Garfunkel’s got a little too much of that crazy-man-on-the-bus thing going on. Maybe it’s the hair… Ya, that’s probably it.

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  3. kerrie on June 18, 2009 12:37 pm

    I would say…bit of advice for anyone starting out…Posts CAN be too long. Like, say for instance, if it rivals your college thesis….Edit. Chances are your readers don’t need 47 pages about how PISSED AT YOUR HUSBAND YOU ARE FOR PEEING ON THE SEAT. I’m to blame for this as well. Breaking a post into a separate days is totally fine.

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  4. Notesfromthegrove on June 18, 2009 12:39 pm

    I love that you posted these rules! But the funny thing is…aren’t they mostly just common sense? I mean…the music, the bad-mouthing, the faking a dead baby…people are just, well, not very smart.

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  5. kbrients on June 18, 2009 12:39 pm

    I would have to agree with all of them! great list!

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  6. Kristin on June 18, 2009 12:41 pm

    “Too many fucking posts?” Hmmm….Lately I’ve been averaging about 40 posts a month. I think that is good for me. However, my friend Monnie over at Rantings of a Creole Princess posts a bazillion times a day and it works for her. A lot of her stuff is simple, quick, this or that opinion stuff…and you can post that more often.

    Laughing my ASS off (I wish) about trolls. I right about abortion and get mucho bloggy love and I right about Turkey Tetrazzini and I get a troll…go figure.

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  7. Sunny on June 18, 2009 12:42 pm

    Very well said! Blogging feels like like the popularity structure of high school, really. Some people are popular because they are awesome, and others… leave you scratching your head. And there are many brilliant people out there who don’t get the attention they deserve.

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  8. Sunny on June 18, 2009 12:42 pm

    Oops, I meant “kinda like” not “like like.” :D

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  9. Jennifer on June 18, 2009 12:46 pm

    Love the list. Could have really used this years ago. I’ve been blogging for 4 years and I had an online diary thingy for about 2 years before that. I’ve always used it as a way to vent more than anything else. I would have quit a long time ago if I did it for fame and fortune. Hell, I think I got my first comment about 2 years in.

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  10. Suzy on June 18, 2009 12:47 pm

    So glad you wrote this post! As a new blogger, it’s great to get the inside scoop.

    Thanks!!!

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  11. Badass Geek on June 18, 2009 12:49 pm

    We seem like some effing smart people.

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  12. amy on June 18, 2009 12:49 pm

    I was so excited the first time a non-family member commented on my blog. I was floored that a person would take time out of their day to read what little-ole-me had written. It’s really cool that you’re such an open and friendly blogger. Thanks for the tips!

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  13. Avitable on June 18, 2009 12:51 pm

    I think most of these are very appropriate. Nice job.

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  14. Posts about Dooce as of June 18, 2009 » The Daily Parr on June 18, 2009 1:01 pm

    [...] about Dooce as of June 18, 2009 Blogging For Dummies. – mommywantsvodka.com 06/18/2009 So you’ve started a blog ….now what? (compiled with a lil help [...]

  15. Ginger Magnolia on June 18, 2009 1:21 pm

    I’ve been writing for a little over a year, and I can say that mst of the things you said would happen have happened. I had my first troll, I alienated someone accidentally, I posted way too much sometimes, and I think I have gained a few readers. I didn’t, however, make up anything or believe that I would make a living by writing every day.

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  16. GingerB on June 18, 2009 1:23 pm

    I have not yet had a troll. Should I feel unwanted? I must confess I do love comments, but mostly I am blogging for me. But comments make me feel all warm and fuzzy, like a G & T, which is only a bonus after I have just cathartically dumped all my mental crap on the blog and purged my head. It’s perfect! Did I mention I love blogging and the ‘osphere?

    Now, since we’ve come this far, I’d like to ask a question – do you (I mean both Becky and her readers) post links on your own blog to a big blogger’s blog entry, and if so, when? Say I am reading Girls Gone Child, and I love her post, and I want to write about it and so I do, am I supposed to link to it, to follow blog etiquette? On just my page? She often has links showing up at the end of a post that when you visit don’t mention her at all – are these people just coasting on a bigger blogger’s tail, and why does GGC let it stay up? Now if you are all laughing at me, just remember, on my blog I am very candid about the fact that I have no tech skills. Zip, zero, zilch. I couldn’t get my link on GGC if I wanted to but anyway, what are the rules of linky love?

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  17. Kristina on June 18, 2009 1:23 pm

    I love this post, it will be my blogging bible.

    P.S. I totally stole your ghost topic for my latest post. You are an inspiration :)

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  18. m.pink on June 18, 2009 1:24 pm

    lol , thanks for the tips , you left one thing out though
    when you comment on other blogs in the website spot remember to put your blog site address and remember to make sure its the right one.
    *looks guilty
    i have been posting the wrong address with my comments for a week now and only realized it last night .
    ya ta go eh ..

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  19. daisybv2 on June 18, 2009 1:28 pm

    Thanks so much for posting this I just started a blog the advise was very useful

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  20. DG at Diaryofamadbathroom on June 18, 2009 1:29 pm

    I really could have used this post about six months back. There is no guidebook for beginning bloggers. Nothing prepares you for the deafening silence your first posts will fall upon. If not for sheer stubbornness, I would have quit half a dozen times already. It’s great that someone cares enough to expose the uglier side of the process. Should make the journey easier for the next wave (assuming they are hip enough to read it and don’t troll-out on you).

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  21. Katie on June 18, 2009 1:31 pm

    I love the comment about Dooce. I think each time she’s on TV somewhere, Google Adsense gets a million new members.

    My account is up to $0.04! WOO!

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  22. a on June 18, 2009 1:32 pm

    What?!? Do you mean that the internet does not instantly recognize my star quality the moment I post the first word of my internal dialogue??? How can that be??

    (Come on, really. You HAVE to recognize that as sarcasm!)

    Nice list – very thorough.

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  23. Danielle on June 18, 2009 1:34 pm

    I can see the want to make a shit ton of money through blogging, it’s totally “doable” but if that’s why you start a blog, then it’ll never happen. I enjoy blogging and I enjoy the connection I get from other bloggers. If it weren’t for connecting with others, I honestly, wouldn’t be where I am today. Have fun in LA!
    *HUGS*

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  24. Sarah on June 18, 2009 1:35 pm

    This is great advice. I’ve just started my blog a few months ago (I did have livejournal for 6 or 7 years before blogger though) and I’d been wondering about a lot of this. With livejournal you make friends through all the communities it has, where as with blogger I am starting to realize you just have to find blogs you like and comment like crazy hoping the comment or add you back. Thanks, I’m going to read over all this again later tonight. Cheers!

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  25. Jenn on June 18, 2009 1:57 pm

    You wrote this just for me, didn’t you? Am I the dummy to which you refer? Because I already knew that….

    I can agree with every one of them. I notice that you make no reference to the F-bomb. Must bother some more than others…

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  26. The Mommy on June 18, 2009 2:15 pm

    I have to be honest, I only comment because I think my opinion is THAT important to people I don’t know…

    Seriously, I enjoy blogging and I think I follow most of these rules (with the possible exception of griping about my SIL but shit, I don’t care if I tick her off). I would add one for the “trolls” (which I haven’t been blessed enough to have, thank God) – if you don’t enjoy reading it, DON’T READ IT! I can’t figure out why that’s so hard! Sheesh!

    One thing I would add: It’s possible to not post often enough as well. I hate it when I find someone who I think is an entertaining writer (or simply has an entertaining life) and then they don’t post for months…or they change blogs and don’t tell their faithful stalkers, er, readers.

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  27. Ms. Moon on June 18, 2009 2:16 pm

    I think this is all great advice. And true. But you know what? I have only had like one or two negative comments in over two years. Does this mean I’m too nice? Probably too boring.

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  28. Mrs Soup on June 18, 2009 2:39 pm

    As always, Badass Geek and you are 100% correct. And awesome.

    You did forget the biggest one.

    Correct spelling and grammar!!! Now, an occasionally error in its/it’s is okay. But if my eyes start bleeding because of the misspelled words, horrible sentences and too many damn commas? I won’t stay and read.

    <3 for the two of you.

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  29. Hope on June 18, 2009 2:57 pm

    After you’re done reading your own blog at a computer in a library next to the office where you work, be sure to click on Tools, Internet Options, Delete everything there is to be deleted before you leave said computer.
    ‘Nuff said about that little experience!

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  30. Hope on June 18, 2009 2:58 pm

    oh, and also – sex sells – not that I have any recent experience with that!

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  31. Tina on June 18, 2009 3:00 pm

    Love the list! Thanks for all the great information. I was reading some of the other comments and laughed at how similar I was when I started out. That first comment on my blog was AWESOME! I could not believe someone found my story/life interesting enough to read!

    I always enjoy your posts (usually lauging my a$$ off)!

    Tina

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  32. Anjali on June 18, 2009 3:11 pm

    This is great, and a perfect analysis of blogging.

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  33. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:14 pm

    so my blog is unpopular because it has music?

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  34. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:14 pm

    but if I comment like a motherfucker then my blog will become popular?

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  35. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:15 pm

    how does a motherfucker comment?

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  36. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:15 pm

    I can’t comment like a motherfucker because Wordpress keeps telling me to slow down.

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  37. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:15 pm

    I cannot become popular because Wordpress keeps telling me to slow down.

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  38. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:16 pm

    is there such a thing as over-commenting? what is it?

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  39. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:16 pm

    what about over-questioning?

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  40. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:16 pm

    maybe I should stop now.

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  41. SciFi Dad on June 18, 2009 3:17 pm

    or not.

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  42. Your Aunt Becky on June 18, 2009 3:24 pm

    Sci-Fi, you should NEVER stop. EVER.

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  43. Susan on June 18, 2009 3:34 pm

    Genius. Do you have all that shit on a tshirt?

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    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    Dude. I totally am printing one up. You might need a microscope to read it, but, you know.

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  44. Pamela on June 18, 2009 3:40 pm

    best advice ever. like seriously. twittering this shit right now!

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  45. Em on June 18, 2009 3:58 pm

    You got trolled over the leash law post? Seriously? It has to be in my Top 10 Best Aunt Becky posts ever. You utilized such great imagery.

    Oh, and you forgot to mention not sucking up to “big” bloggers – it’s really just embarassing.

    Love you! :-)

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  46. Calliope on June 18, 2009 4:01 pm

    hey foxy! I have been sucking ass at commenting over here but I pinky swear I am reading! This post is so funny and SO true.

    Here are my additions (you DID ask!)

    1) use the return/enter key- reading a blog with NO effing paragraph breaks kills me
    2) know that the stuff you wrote the first 6 months of your blog will be the BEST writing you will ever do. (at least that is how I feel when I go back and reread my stuff..total loser moment for just admitting that I go back and read my own posts)
    3) Use photos or art or something…this could just be me, but I TOTALLY connect more with blogs where I can see day in the life type photos
    4) If you are a newish blog (or even an oldish one) and someone leaves you a comment that starts with, “delurking to….” be nice and write them an e-mail back and let them know they can be part of your bloggy world.

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  47. Sandy on June 18, 2009 4:06 pm

    AWESOME POST! There is a lot of fantastic advice here and a lot of it works. You can also ask people to come to your blog and help you settle an argument about whether or not your child’s toy is a chicken or a duck (as in my latest post, lol). Thank you, by the way, for your comment!

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  48. foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog) on June 18, 2009 4:40 pm

    The music! Oh, the music! Often the volume on my computer is sky high and when I click on a page with a music player loaded, I damn near die from the fright when it fires up! I love music as much as the next person, but I like it down a notch at midnight!

    I think you have very good points here. I’d also say that it can be easy to get excited about blogging and you’re blogging all the time, or at least pretty regularly, but if you’re going to suddenly disappear, when it’s possible, give your readers a heads up. There are blogs I’ve enjoyed and commented on regularly in my nearly 3 years of blogging, and some have fallen off the earth. No warnings. Call me crazy, but from time to time, I wonder what happened to some of those folks.

    Also, do your best to acknowledge your readers. It’s summer and that coupled with some life things have gotten in my face, so I’ve been lax in the responding thing, which makes me feel guilty, but when you can, if you can, let a reader know you appreciate them coming by. When you do, thank them for not having a music player loaded on their site, too!

    I think your first comment on my blog, you asked if we could be besties, and the answer, my friend, is, was, and always will be hell yes!

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  49. Kendra on June 18, 2009 4:51 pm

    What great advice! Especially, I think, the “You’re not going to make a fortune doing this.” When I started my blog just a few months ago, I was initially hurt that it seemed no one in the world was reading it. After all, is there not an internet awesome-o-meter that will alert the entire world that I’ve arrived? But after that, I realized that I was really touched by every person who visited and commented. And though I don’t really know anything about blog etiquette, usually I end up visiting their blogs and commenting–not out of politeness but because, lo and behold, it turns out that most people actually have really interesting lives! (Either that or I’ve just been lucky enough not to have found the painfully boring ones.)

    What was initially a “maybe this will make me rich and famous, because I certainly deserve to be” whim has turned into a surprisingly valuable way of feeling that my voice is being heard. Thanks for the great advice!

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  50. Eva on June 18, 2009 5:01 pm

    Very nicely done. I have no arguments. I do think people participate to varying degrees in the I’llcommentonyoursyoucomment on mine thing. My comments, and certainly my readership, are not directly correlated to who comments on my blog. And definitely not to who reads it, since I of course only know about the commenters.

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  51. niobe on June 18, 2009 5:31 pm

    These are, like, just about the best tips EVAH!!! (and I mean that in all seriousness. Kudos for this post — I think every blogger should read it)

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  52. eden on June 18, 2009 5:43 pm

    Becky this is way cool. I will probably link to it at some stage, if that’s ok.
    I have a few trolls …… one troll in particular tries to tell me they know me IRL. If you ever find out how to track a blocked IP address, please let me know :)

    Actually … I have found the trolls to be helpful. They make me want to blog MORE, and BETTER. F*ck you, trolls. Seriously, why would you invest so much energy into dissing someone??

    You rock.

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  53. Betts on June 18, 2009 5:44 pm

    Where were you 10 months ago when I was starting up? Oh yeh, you were here; I just hadn’t found you yet.

    I feel guilty when I don’t get to read all the post of the bloggers I follow. I worry that they’ll never visit my blog again. Yes, I’m so high school.

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  54. Parenting and Blogging « A Day In The Life. . . on June 18, 2009 5:54 pm

    [...] onto this blog post from Twitter. A hilarious and must read for all bloggers (beginners and expert) Blogging for Dummies by Mommy Wants Vodka Leave a Comment No Comments Yet so far Leave a comment RSS feed for [...]

  55. Lori in Denver on June 18, 2009 6:02 pm

    Yeah, I’m confused about the Dooce thing. Tell me again when the $40K checks will start to arrive? I’ve been oh so patient.

    I’m saving your last point in my back pocket, just in case.

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  56. Mimi on June 18, 2009 6:10 pm

    You’re sooo right! While my blog is “anonymous,” I realize most people either know who i am or will figure it out, and I’m fine with that. I agree with the comment about writing being a great stress relief, although having people read your stuff is nice too. :-) And are you serious about the dead baby? I assume this was done for money?

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  57. Dora on June 18, 2009 6:21 pm

    So much in this post that I agree with completely. But this is the standout:

    “Music on blogs is almost universally hated. If you want to put it on there, it’s wise to leave the playlist on mute and allow other people to turn it on should they want.”

    LORD, YES! I often read at work and having music unexpected blare from the computer is horrid. Even worse is that I usually have the speakers on mute and have several browser windows and tabs open, then when I need to listen something I have to figure out which site has the music playing! ACK! Sometimes it’s more than one. STOP THE INSANITY!

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  58. Meg on June 18, 2009 7:10 pm

    Yeah, I’m taking a break until I find something way more amusing to write about escept for whineing about life. I like the rules tho. It is a more confusing world the life of a blogger but it does help when you know how it all works.

    But you may want to add that once it’s up there posted for the world it’s up there forever, no deleting can make it go away.

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  59. heather on June 18, 2009 7:23 pm

    I for real wish I did have tshirts with some of the stuff I’ve said written on it. That would be more awesome than you know.

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  60. Daddy Files on June 18, 2009 8:19 pm

    I haven’t read all the comments but I’d add the following:

    If you don’t have a witty comment, don’t leave one. Commenting for the sake of commenting is a bad idea. “Good post” or “Very funny” simply doesn’t cut it.

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    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    See, now I don’t mind the comments that aren’t earth shattering. Sometimes it’s just nice to know that other people are here.

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  61. heather on June 18, 2009 8:47 pm

    You know you’ve made it when anons are swearing at you over dog shit in someone else’s yard, eh? ‘at a girl, Aunt Becky!

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  62. Petra aka The Wise (Young) Mommy on June 18, 2009 9:02 pm

    EXCELLENT post. It is ALL so true.

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  63. Jenn on June 18, 2009 9:04 pm

    Ugh. My stupid google reader freaked out and I didn’t even realize you were posting! Tonight I was thinking “what the fuck happened to becky?” so I click on over and here you are and I’m 5 freaking posts behind. Just wanted you to know I still love you and I’m going to catch up eventually. I also checked through and it happened to 4 other people. Suck.

    I completely agree with pretty much everything you wrote here. Especially the music thing. I really super hate music on blogs.

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  64. Jenn on June 18, 2009 9:05 pm

    4 other people on my list I mean. I feel compelled to clarify although I’m 99.99% sure you don’t give a crap. Haha.

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  65. Betsy on June 18, 2009 9:07 pm

    That list is perfect. I will bookmark this post for others I know who might be thinking of starting a blog. I wish I had had this to read when I started. Thank you!

    I always read blogs with the mute on. I really hate bloggy music…more than I should share here.

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  66. swirl girl on June 18, 2009 9:08 pm

    great list –
    I broke one of these rules and it came back to haunt me…

    pay heed fellow bloggers!

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  67. mountainmomma18 on June 18, 2009 9:19 pm

    I just recently stumbled upon a few hate blogs whose sole purpose is to hate on some other blog. Maybe I’ve been living under a rock, but this was a new one to me, and I guess I just don’t get it. Why would you start a blog to complain about another blog? I am missing the whackadoodle gene to understand this. Yes Dooce makes crazy money, but she also has to deal with (or probably ignore) nutjobs. i guess blogging isn’t always puppies and rainbows.

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  68. Westcoast Weirdo on June 18, 2009 9:46 pm

    Well said. Even tho my WP blog is new, I’ve had an online diary for about 10yrs now & everything you said is true. And I’ve found out that when people say they’ll follow you, they don’t. Too much effort for them to get outside of their circle ;) Doh.

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  69. Employee No. 3699 on June 18, 2009 10:08 pm

    Great and thorough post. I usually like to read all the comments but it’s past my bedtime so I’m just going to address your first bullet point and come back tomorrow.

    I must say my blog almost hit its shelf life at six months when I got my review from Ask. I naively requested a review after only two months of blogging because I was honestly looking for constructive criticism. My ‘Meh’ rating didn’t bother me, but the lack of an actual review did. She, my reviewer, said I was a Mommy Blogger (I’m an empty nester) and went off on a rant on said mommy bloggers without saying anything pertaining to ‘my’ blog; which was the point of the review. I could have let that slide, but it was the crap I got after I called her out that had me questioning the whole blogging thing.

    I’m glad I got past it because I’ve made some great friends and connections since…and I really do enjoy it.

    [Reply]

  70. Lola on June 18, 2009 10:39 pm

    So, you’re calling me a dummy?

    [Reply]

  71. Taking Heart on June 19, 2009 3:38 am

    hahaha.
    You are good.

    [Reply]

  72. Kerri on June 19, 2009 4:41 am

    Thank you aunt Becky! (and Badassgeek of course)
    I will be commenting on every single blog from now on!!
    Also just a note about ass-kissing the famous bloggers ~ they have so many ass-kissers already, you are bound to fall through the crack(s)…
    Did you see what I did there?? Ithankyouverymuch

    [Reply]

  73. nicole on June 19, 2009 5:12 am

    Having blogged to ‘the universe’ for a year before I got comments… I have a question:
    I’m still new to comments. What’s the answering etiquette? Sometimes I comment in my comments and sometimes I send direct, though I’m never sure I’m doing this quite right.

    [Reply]

  74. The Expatresse on June 19, 2009 6:26 am

    I recently acquired a troll. He is so bitter and nasty . . . I spent waaaaay too much time thinking of witty responses. I finally decided just to leave his nasty-ass comments so others will see what a bitter, nasty soul he is.

    Ha! Take that!

    [Reply]

  75. WiseGuy on June 19, 2009 6:52 am

    There’s more politics than you can imagine in blogging. ???

    Is that so?

    Anyways that’s a nice list….very provocative and slick!

    [Reply]

  76. Inna on June 19, 2009 7:04 am

    It just took me 20 minutes to read through all the comments and the post. Was well worth the effort.
    I try to keep my spelling errors and grammatical mistakes to a minimum.
    And no music. I also like blogs with pictures, but I’m not a very good photographer so my blog has very few pictures.
    Thanks for the very detailed tips (and no, that was not sarcasm)!

    [Reply]

  77. Lesha on June 19, 2009 7:15 am

    I have to say I won’t consider myself a TRUE blogger until I get my first troll. Who wants to come troll my site for me? Anyone?

    Okay, nevermind.

    Thanks for the list Aunt B, it rocked.

    @nicole regarding answering comments, I am still totally confused on this one! If they have an email, I email a reply, if they don’t I sometimes reply in my own comments, other times, I just leave my own comment on their blog, not really in a “reply” sense, just a “thanks for stopping at my blog” sense.

    [Reply]

  78. Dot on June 19, 2009 7:47 am

    Geez, I thought I’d never get to the end of the comments. I guess writing this post is how to get comments. :-) I have just two things to say.

    1. Another way to get readers is to make comments expressing a different point of view than that of a blog author and her/his readers. However, be aware that it will probably tick off the author. I did this on ZenHabits, and I gained quite a few readers, and I really did have a different point of view.

    2. I wasn’t exactly sure what “troll” was, but once I found out, I wanted to say this. Leo on ZenHabits, who is someone I admire and aspire to be like, wrote about how he handled negative messages, and I’ve found it works well. He would thank the person for writing and bringing these things to his attention. If their message was general, he would ask them to give him more specifics on exactly what made them feel his blog “sucked” or whatever, so that he could improve it and make it not suck. And he meant it.

    [Reply]

  79. zelzee on June 19, 2009 8:05 am

    My daughter blogs and pretty much warned me about some (not all) of this……thanks for the advice.

    And you are certainly not kidding when you say your feelings will get hurt!

    Great advise from a great blogger!

    [Reply]

  80. ryanandjoesmom on June 19, 2009 10:29 am

    This is awesome. You should so hold a seminar, especially if drinks are involved. I would so show up for it.

    Took this advice to heart and edited my post from last night. While it felt good to type it all out, definitely not info the internets needed to hear/read.

    Hope your weekend turns around!

    [Reply]

  81. lady lemon on June 19, 2009 10:59 am

    Good advice for us nooblars out there. But, nothing about memes? Wtf?

    [Reply]

  82. Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » Why The Chicken REALLY Crossed The Road on June 19, 2009 11:26 am

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  83. Kristine on June 19, 2009 11:31 am

    All of this was spot on!

    [Reply]

  84. Coco on June 19, 2009 11:55 am

    Bwah! I love it.

    Here’s my little contribution:

    If you put a picture of a coconut crab in your sidebar, you will immediately see your blog hits skyrocket. It’s not because anyone who finds you via that picture (which somehow made it to the top of the Google Images results for coconut crabs) actually cares about what you say, because they just want to know how to avoid being attacked by coconut crabs (answer – don’t act like a coconut). Nevertheless, your falsely improved stats will make you feel like a Supah Star anyway. For about 5 minutes.

    [Reply]

  85. Mwa on June 19, 2009 12:22 pm

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m totally taking it personally and will follow all the advice. Love it!

    Oh – one question: what would you consider to be overblogging? I’ve tried to do five posts a week, but being superovernewlyeager I’ve occasionally posted twice a day, keeping the second one short. Too much?

    Also – I agree with you that comments don’t need to be earthshattering. Just nice to get them, even if they’re just to say “I read this”. (Thanks so much for the comment. :-) )

    [Reply]

  86. docgrumbles on June 19, 2009 12:41 pm

    I firmly believe that the number that equals “too many posts” is entirely based on the content of the posts. If you write many entertaining posts, people will bother to catch up. If you clog your blog with dull-ass crap, then people won’t bother combing through it for something worth reading.

    [Reply]

  87. Nancy on June 19, 2009 12:46 pm

    Damn, yo – I’m taking half that shit personally! Just kidding, I do’s what I wants on my blog. And will probably live to regret it, eventually.

    [Reply]

  88. Dana on June 19, 2009 12:57 pm

    *gigglesnort* I missed this post while on vacation and am so glad I came back to read it! Yes! Absolutely! All of these are so spot on.

    I was a blogger who got into blogging having no clue what a blog even was. NO ONE (other than the person who dared me to start a blog) read me – OK – maybe 2 people did. I knew nothing about blogging but learned soon enough that getting more readers was the proverbial double-edged sword. I never intended to draw an audience, but it happened, and now I deal with the good and the bad of that.

    My piece of advice would be that although it is important to write for yourself, having a blog “theme”, and thinking about the audience you want to (or may accidentally) draw is critical.

    Oh! And please don’t “reinvent” yourself every time you screw up and post something to your blog that you didn’t really want to share with the world then send me an email asking me to pimp your new blog. You’ll get a “HELL NO!” Although I really enjoy sharing great blogs with my readers, it’s my personal integrity on the line and I won’t compromise that for a flaky blogger.

    [Reply]

  89. Anita on June 19, 2009 1:00 pm

    I’m guilty of reading and not always commenting. It’s not because I don’t like what the person has had to say, it’s because I always feel like whatever I could say is never clever or witty enough. It’s something I’m working on.

    Great list Becky. Thanks!

    [Reply]

  90. Thomas Houseman on June 19, 2009 2:02 pm

    Hey…. who won the book for daddies give-away?

    [Reply]

  91. birdpress on June 19, 2009 3:21 pm

    “There is such a thing as over-sharing”

    Did you really write that? LOL

    I’m flattered that you come over to my little blog sometimes. I don’t post often and I’m probably boring to a lot of people, but I don’t aspire to much.

    My biggest pet peeves about reading blogs are ones you did mention: white text on black backgrounds, and no paragraph breaks. I just can’t read that stuff at all.

    [Reply]

  92. Chris Mancini on June 19, 2009 5:15 pm

    Sarcasm doesn’t translate?! Yeah. Right. Sure. (pause) Hmmm. You may be right…

    [Reply]

  93. Dana on June 19, 2009 6:14 pm

    Oh! One more!!!

    Please don’t blog in text. UR 2 hard 2 read!

    [Reply]

  94. Caroline on June 20, 2009 5:55 am

    Great tips girl! Looking forward to my own blog soon and am totally gonna bookmark this advice! Making you my mentor LOL :) smilinggreenmom *tweet me!

    [Reply]

  95. lettergirl on June 20, 2009 10:06 am

    Nice list, and really solid advice, Becky. Especially the no sparkly stuff advice, lol.

    [Reply]

  96. Amanda on June 20, 2009 11:30 am

    Sing it, Aunt Becky, sing it loud.

    [Reply]

  97. Painted Maypole on June 20, 2009 9:51 pm

    ha. i wish I had read this when I started blogging. it is all very sensible and I have learned it ALL in the last 2 years. brava!

    [Reply]

  98. Jamie on June 22, 2009 1:20 am

    I am an avid blog reader, a pitiful writer. I thought about going to blogHer, but I am only interested in the party part. So, that is how I found you- the Social Luxe Lounge. I have one avid follower, but I hardly doubt my mom counts for much.

    My least favorite things about popular blogs:
    A contest to get to the next million
    Bloggers calling themselves celebrities.
    Posting a PO Box for gifts, or really any hints about wanting gifts whatsoever
    This one could get me flamed, but recipe sharing. Does anyone actually ever make them?

    [Reply]

  99. Anonymous on June 22, 2009 11:23 am

    I shared this with my readers . . . it’s very, very good!

    [Reply]

  100. magpie on June 22, 2009 5:14 pm

    this is a great post. :)

    [Reply]

  101. Henriette Jordaan on June 24, 2009 1:46 am

    So glad I read this post. Thank you for great advise. I am VERY new to blogging.

    [Reply]

  102. CLC on June 25, 2009 7:47 pm

    I took your advice and got rid of the pink! I was getting sick of it anyway!

    [Reply]

  103. Roshni on June 30, 2009 2:06 pm

    these are great simple no-nonsense suggestions! About politics in blogging…wow! I never knew but as a one year blogger, I totally get what you’re saying!
    As you say, now I just keep my head down and write. That’s why I started in the first place after all!

    [Reply]

  104. Merritt on July 2, 2009 10:37 am

    Great tips, I wish I’d seen them a year ago. I’ve had my blog for about a year, and I spent that year doing various incarnations of the “mommy blog” because that’s what I thought was most popular and would work best. Problem was, it wasn’t me at all and my writing sucked ass. When I finally just wrote for me, my writing improved, as did my readership. Granted I average like 10 people a day, but they’re 10 people who for some reason keep coming back (and aren’t my mom or my husband) and I think that’s pretty kick ass.

    [Reply]

  105. Kathy Scovill on July 16, 2009 1:50 pm

    Are there really bloggers that fake dead babies?

    [Reply]

  106. Latest blogging news – So what is blogging? | Alex Brooks | cbtestaddedit on July 18, 2009 5:37 pm

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  107. MG @ MommyGeekology.com on July 20, 2009 10:35 am

    Love this. I think it’s great advice. I’ve somehow managed to get past the one year mark, and still blogging…. going to BlogHer, even, and with that I would add this:

    BlogHer is awesome, but its fine if you aren’t going. Seriously.

    [Reply]

  108. Rebecca on September 6, 2009 10:41 am

    I am so late in commenting to this post… I read it back in June and then mulled over everything you said and finally started my own blog in August. Then I wanted to make sure I was following “the rules” and had to come back and check the list.

    So, thanks for being my super-secret-you-didn’t-even-know-I-was-there mentor, Aunt Becky.

    [Reply]

  109. Mommy Wants Vodka » Blog Archive » Go Ask Aunt Becky on September 20, 2009 12:01 am

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  110. Chrissy on September 21, 2009 5:44 pm

    This is really awesome. Really. Thanks for writing it!

    [Reply]

  111. Michelle on October 5, 2009 4:08 pm

    You have an awesome site and thanks so much for this list!

    As a pretty new blogger (one that really only got started as the result of an unexpected lay off) I can say, that’s there’s almost nothing more therapeutic and entertaining (for me at least!) than sharing my funny, anecdotal stories online.

    These are fantastic tips. Thanks for sharing. Within the first 3 days of posting I had my first “blog hater”.. which while, I stand by my own words and shrugged it off, was an odd experience. So, I love that you have a few points on negative comments!

    Feel free to stop by and check out The Hubby Diaries

    http://thehubbydiaries.wordpress.com

    [Reply]

  112. submom on November 7, 2009 12:29 am

    I don’t know why I haven’t chance upon your blog until now. I LOVE Vodka to begin with, and judging by the number of comments, your blog is very popular. Though I have only just read a few, it deserves such attention. After I read this post, I think I know why the popularity. Well, I can’t really explain it, but I am Stumbling upon, Tweeting, favoring etc. this post. This has got to be the most honest, truthful, and helpful blogging advice I have ever seen. (And I have seen MANY because I spend a lot of my free time on Twitter…) You manage to tell it like it is in a kind way. That is a talent. Anyway, I am prone to rambling. So quickly, a simple thank you.

    [Reply]

    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    Why, you’re very welcome and it’s a pleasure to have met you. I will be visiting your blog as well. I’m glad the advice was worth something and helped you out. YAY! for new friends.

    (and you’re talking to the QUEEN of rambling!)

    [Reply]

  113. If you keep a “life” blog, written for yourself (at least at first), you’ve got to read this… | The Absence of Alternatives on November 7, 2009 2:25 pm

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  114. Nancy@Ifevolutionworks.com on November 8, 2009 6:25 pm

    great post! All so very true!

    [Reply]

  115. American in Norway on November 10, 2009 2:12 pm

    What a super post & great blog…I look forward to reading more from you.: )

    [Reply]

  116. Q & A With Bloggess, Becky Harks « Old Dog Rehab on November 18, 2009 11:04 pm

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  117. Maria on November 20, 2009 2:26 pm

    OK, so I still don’t understand the Dooce thing. I heard a bunch of rumblings when the nominations for whatever award came up, googled & found the blog. I still don’t get it. Is she super successful & rich or something?

    [Reply]

    MimiRuse Reply:

    This post is just FANTASTIC. I attended a small blog conference last weekend (I_Blog), and nearly everything you said here was said there. You’re very wise. I want to be the next Dooce (minus the scowl), as does every other mommy-blogger. I know that’s not likely to happen, but it drives me to keep writing and keep commenting. I recently started getting comments, and blogrolled. It’s a good feeling.

    -MimiRuse, http://www.iheartmimi.com

    [Reply]

    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    She’s considered like the founder of all Mommy Blogs and people think she’s the bees knees (also, she has a lot of haters). She is crazy successful at what she’s done and she makes the rest of us look like novices.

    [Reply]

  118. MimiRuse on November 20, 2009 10:54 pm

    This post is FANTASTIC. I attended a small blog conference last weekend (I_Blog), and nearly everything you said here was said there. You’re very wise. I want to be the next Dooce (minus the scowl), as does every other mommy-blogger. I know that’s not likely to happen, but it drives me to keep writing and keep commenting. I recently started getting comments, and blogrolled. It’s a good feeling.

    -MimiRuse, http://www.iheartmimi.com

    [Reply]

    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    I probably peed myself the first time I saw myself on a blogroll. And my first non-friend comment? TOTALLY A SPAM BOT. I didn’t realize it until later, but man, it was totally redeeming until I realized it was a fake person.

    [Reply]

  119. Matthew on November 23, 2009 2:02 am

    This is very good. Wish I’d read it months and months ago.

    [Reply]

    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    Aw, why thank you. It’s a post I wish I’d seen when I started blogging because it would have saved me a lot of confusion. All of those “blogging tips” I’ve ever seen the “experts” give are so pointless.

    Maybe I should republish this.

    [Reply]

  120. HomeValley on December 10, 2009 9:24 am

    A huge thank you for this! I have just discovered your site today, and I think I am in love. Although what do you have against chick flicks? That aside, I adore these rules. I have been blogging for years, and I now realize I did some things just completely wrong starting out. This list is invaluable!

    [Reply]

  121. Pineapple Princess on January 5, 2010 11:13 pm

    Holy smokes!
    That post was amazing!

    [Reply]

  122. Dawana on January 8, 2010 2:25 pm

    This is awesome. It’s great advice for us just starting out bloggers. And you’re right- no one will be Dooce status and who wants to be? She is her and I am me. Moving on…

    [Reply]

  123. Will on January 17, 2010 1:57 pm

    My Mom (irissilk.blogspot.com) and sister (gamecockmama@blogspot.com) both told me about this one – I wish I’d come here sooner! I absolutely love that post, and learned one or two of those items the hard way. Thanks for sharing, I can’t wait to go back now and read some more!

    [Reply]

    Your Aunt Becky Reply:

    Aww. I’m so glad that you liked this post. Please, disregard anything you don’t like because really, the rules aren’t RULES. Plus, really, WTF do I know?

    [Reply]

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