After getting some shit for writing about how uncomfortable I was in my skin when I was heavier, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to talk about weight, so let me preface all of what I say with this: I write satire and I also write from the heart. I do not, have not, and never will care about what anyone else does, weighs or looks like. I am not about to attack anyone for their weight because your weight does not matter to me (Aunt Becky loves you as you are) and I never have attacked someone on or offline for it.

When I talk about my struggles with weight, I am being honest. When I talk about my struggles with headaches, I am also being honest. I am not a doctor. I am not telling you what to do. I am also not asking you what you think of what I have done. You do not have to agree with it to be my friend.


In the LONG GONE days when I was skinny, I always had a bit of a pot belly. While the chick in Pulp Fiction thought they were cute, I counted down the years until I could have a tummy tuck. I think everyone has that feature they dislike tremendously about themselves. My stomach was mine.

The pooch got worse after I gained and lost 60-70 pounds three times (thanks, crotch parasites), most of the weight in my torso, and by the time I’d gotten down to the weight I was three weeks ago, (sixteen pounds away from my high school weight), I probably could have worn the excess skin as a handy scarf. It was a matter of when I’d get the skin lopped off and when always fell into the nebulous future along with “achieving total world domination” and “learning to make jello.” I figured I’d get to it when I’d get to it.

When I did end up in the plastic surgeon’s office to discuss a possible breast reduction, I’d made the appointment to discuss a tummy tuck as well. Figured I’d at least DISCUSS it with the guy while I was in there…right?

The breast reduction, he said, was probably going to leave me unhappy. Especially because according to the weird insurance criteria, it wouldn’t be covered, at least (according to you Pranksters) not without some major legwork. He said I’d probably want an augmentation with some reduction and other things I can’t remember and I trusted that coming from him.

The tummy tuck, I learned, could fix some of my abdominal muscles, something that had been long busted since I’d gotten pregnant with my first. Plus, it was going to fix something else I’d hated: my pooch.

My abdominal muscles were in sad shape, even I knew that, and were likely contributing to some of my migraines. Not my normal migraines, but the ones triggered by muscles spasms in my back and neck. It wasn’t necessarily a reason to do the surgery. It wasn’t necessarily going to fix anything.

Medicine is, after all, an imprecise science.

We all know that I signed up for a full abdominoplasty and had one three weeks ago tomorrow.

I paid out of pocket. Entirely. (for all of you who asked)

The full abdominoplasty differs from the mini-abdominoplasty in that it deals with tightening the muscles underneath. In my case, he repaired a diastasis recti (separation between the left and right side of the rectus abdominis muscle, which covers the front surface of the belly area.). A full abdominoplasty is also a more major surgery.

The surgeon thought that he could remove 2-3 pounds from my abdominal area. He removed 6 and fixed my abdominal muscles.

Not going to lie. The recovery has sucked far harder than I’d thought it would. I’m sawed more than in half. I’m in pain most of the time. I have to wear a delicious (read: hideous) binder all of the time, too (which reminds me, I need to buy a new one. I’m thinking that I’ll buy a Spanx or a Yummy Tummy rather than a medical one. Which do you recommend?).

As one of my Pranksters said, it does get better every day. And the results are amazing. My headaches are better. I’m swollen, but every day, I’m a little less so.

I’m happy that I did it.

I don’t have a before picture of my pooch before my operation. If I go up on the doc’s website, I’ll show you, but I didn’t take one. I was too embarrassed.

Instead, I can give you this:

Meet Fetus Amelia, Pranksters.

It’s the only shot I have of me while pregnant.

Now, for the dramatic reveal. Please excuse the lighting in my bathroom. I am not orange. I swear.

I know you want my binder. AND my phone.

And here’s the dramatic NO BINDER reveal*

The lines you’re seeing are mostly from laying on the binder. And yes, I am a little swollen.

My stomach, Pranksters, even swollen, has NEVER been so flat. EVER.

This totally beats a pair of boobs.

*I’ll take another picture next week BEFORE I get cast onto Baywatch**.

**Is that show even on anymore?

114 thoughts on “3 Weeks Post-Op

  1. HEYY!! When I got a boob reduction, my doc threw in a lift, since…ya know, he was gonna be in there anyways. But now I feel cheated. I want a new tummy too!

  2. I have the same problem, a pooch. My friends and I used to call it a Peter Pouch. Three kids later, I would be at least a size smaller if I could get rid of the pooch.
    Kudos to you and hope you feel better soon!

  3. You look awesome. I’ve wanted a tummy tuck for as long as I can remember. Even when I’m thin, I have a pooch. It was there prior to having kids, but they certainly didn’t help.

    And I’m with ya, I’d rather have a flat tummy than boobs.

  4. WOW. That is one great looking belly. I so wanna get my tummy tuck. I am so tired of looking 8 months pregnant. I have a hernia, they are refusing to take care of too. Which my mom, grandma, her mom, and her mom also had, so it runs in the fam. I have a 3 inch gap betweem my muscles due to 3 c-sections, geez.

  5. You look GREAT!!! I’m a little envious. I have always had a poochy tummy too and my little darlings added to it. I can’t wait till the day I cant get those fat cells sucked out.

    Best wishes…

  6. Go, you!! Lookin’ good!!

    I’d totally go under the knife if I could, except that I don’t have a ‘problem area’ – unless ‘body’ is an area. I’m built like a sequoia, so they’d have to trim down *everything*…which sounds a bit more invasive than I can handle.

  7. You look awesome. 😀 My stomach and muscles were wrecked by my ginormous set of twins. I was supposed to get a tummy tuck in February, but sigh…. It has to wait. You didn’t happen to get your insurance to cover it, did you??

  8. Oh man, I’m jealous. As soon as I crank out this kid I’m currently gestating and I save up enough money, I AM SO DOING THE SAME THING. I’m going for the full “mommy lift” – boobs and tummy. I cannot wait.

    And p.s. you look awesome. Good for you.

  9. I had a breast reduction when I was 17. I needed it desperately physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m 51 now. I have NEVER regretted it. It allowed me to feel better and even more importantly, be comfortable in my own skin. That’s the most important thing. Liking who you are is awesome so I say KUDOS to you. Surgery sucks. Anesthesia destroys me which is why I hope to NEVER have surgery again. Recovery takes time but no pain, no gain.

    Take care and Happy Holidays!
    Lynn MacDonald

  10. You look fantastic, and I can’t wait to see the results when you are all healed up. I’ve always had a pooch too, and pregnancy has only made it worst. The rolls of skin just drive me crazy. Even at my best weight, which is better than my high school weight, the rolls are still there. Am I completely happy with my boobs? No, but I can buy a bra for that.

    Also, Spanx is fantastic, and you can get it for much cheaper at Target. I forget what they call the Target brand, but it is made by the same people that make Spanx.

  11. Go Aunt Becky!! Woooo hooooo!!!! Even a little swollen, your stomach looks better than mine ever has in my entire life. Such a great outcome! And I agree: SO much better than boobs.

  12. Go Aunt Becky!! Woooo hooooo!!!! Even a little swollen, your stomach looks better than mine ever has in my entire life. Such a great outcome! And I agree: SO much better than boobs.

  13. CONGRATS B. Yah…we are all Jah-Jah-Jealous of your phone! Although I do LOVE LOVE LOVE my Twist it needs a total BLING make-over! But I digress, Congrats on having the courage to get your tummy fixed. I have the same problem with mine after 3 kids. No matter how I exercise I just can’t get my abs to mend themselves back together. My back really suffers from the separation, but you know how it is being a mom…. we are just like little energiser bunnies…. no matter what we keep going and going and going! Have a Happy Thanksgiving EVERY ONE!

  14. Yippee! You look great! My BFF had a tummy tuck and was really pleased with the results. I can’t wait to see the results once you are fully healed!

    You are totally right, I am jealous of your binder!

  15. The binder is hawt! Reminds me of a friend of mine who had a thing for chicks in knee braces.

    I’m glad your new tummy makes you happy. My wife is thinking about having the same procedure, and this will probably encourage her.

  16. Aunt Becks!!! YOU LOOK FANTASTIC! But you FEEL better too, which is awesome. So glad you made the decision that was right for YOU, and that you’re happy with it. Aunt Becky is BACK!!!

  17. What I want is for them to invent the procedure where they take all the goop from one place in your body you don’t want it and put it somewhere else you DO want it. Like putting my body through a pasta maker feet first. Just squish is all up from the bottom to the boobs thanks. I am glad you chose to do something that makes you feel good about yourself, fixes a few thing and write about it too.

  18. I waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant a new tummy!

    I can’t even imagine being able to get plastic surgery. (I’m poor) But I’d totally get my tummy done, too. I like my boobs, so they can stay. My butt may need some work, too. Sigh.

  19. Looks great! Wait til the swelling goes down! It makes even more of a difference. I would say you will continue to get flatter for about 5-6 months. My tummy tuck was the best thing I have ever done. MAYBE a slight second to having my kids or marrying my husband, but thats really pushing it.

  20. OK … I have to say it (’cause I am like that) …

    I am so UNREASONABLY jealous! I want to say mean and nasty things about you. I want to leave some passive aggressive, vile comment under some made up name and email address. Not because I think what you did was “wrong”, but because *I* want to look “normal” … maybe even good … and I want to lash out at the world because I feel so bad about myself.

    Which brings me back to YOU! My guess is that although this surgery was primarily to address core strength and its relationship to your headaches, you too, felt very “not normal”, and this has to be a wonderful (although painful) opportunity for you.

    And you know what? I’d be a real slime ball if I didn’t celebrate that with you rather than try to take it away from you.

    It is a good thing for you, this abdominoplasty, and jealous as I might be, I am so very happy for you!

    1. You are totally allowed to be jealous. I’m still reeling that it all happened so quickly, you know? And I’m glad you didn’t chew me out, even if you wanted to. It would have hurt my feelers. This comment didn’t.

  21. Thanks for writing this. I can’t not wait until I get my tummy tuck and a boob job. It’s the first thing I am doing when I finish paying off my college loans from 10 years ago. Next year!

  22. I’m so jealous. My friend got medicaid to pay for smaller boobs. It highlighted the need for the tummy to be tucked to. She was so happy to have smaller chesticles that she didn’t care, but it seriously made her look heavier once your eyes weren’t drawn to her giant rack of mams.
    That’s totally why if I ever have to fix one I want the works. Hubby would be sad but I do get tired of sporting my rolls and ‘H’ cup ladies.

  23. yow!

    my stomach is wear I gain all my weight. luckily all I have are cats and that doesn’t affect my stomach so much except when they lay on me and purr. but I see myself potentially in your shoes on day. hopefully. perhaps.

    or maybe I’ll just purchase some children. it could happen.

  24. You look fabulous!

    I prefer the Flexees tank tops. Not as omg-I can’t breathe as Spanx. You can usually find them at TJMaxx on mega sale or Kohl’s or Macy’s.

  25. Congrats! You look great!

    The flat-belly boat sailed away from me long ago. Now it is docked across the bay and laughing at me because I’m pregnant with twins and will never be able to get a ticket for that cruise again…

  26. Aunt Becky, I love you; you are so freaking *real*. And you look amazing!! Thanks so much for sharing the photos and your thought process. It makes wanting a tummy tuck seem not as selfish and an actual possibility for the future. You’re awesome!

  27. Go B you look Fab and like many of the other ladies I’m supremely JEALOUS. I want a tummy tuck so bad, I’m 10 pounds shy of my pre baby weight and I’m pretty happy with my pants size but I hate, hate, hate the pouch. It seriously looks like a freaking cows utter if I bend over. But the husband and I haven’t decided if we are adding any more rugrats to the mix so I totally have to wait for the surgery. Ahh well one day. For now I guess I’ll just celebrate yours and keep dreaming of the day I get to go see my surgeon for mine

  28. You get sexier every time I see a photo of you. Seriously. I am so glad that you did this for yourself and screw what the world thinks. We need more women like that. I’ve personally always wanted to get a little work done but I just can’t afford it right now (and I feel like I need to work on the things I can change before I let a doctor in there). But seriously? SO STINKIN’ PROUD OF YOU! Seriously. You’re awesome. Full of the win.

    And plus, you look better in a sports bra than I ever have. And I’ve got some awesome tits… just sayin’. When I’m ready to get hacked up by some quack, I promise half my drugs and to hire a trained monkey to do our bidding if you come hang with me. You bring the kids, and of course yourself, and I’ll make sure we have some good times.

  29. I’m surprised you didn’t steam up the bathroom mirror with your smoking hotness! Who needs a boob job when a tummy tuck makes them look bigger? You have the body of a Goddess! Love ya lady 😉

  30. Are you sure you’re not my long lost sister or something? I swear we have the exact same problem with our pooch. My husband wants another baby though before I get the tummy tuck. Btw, how much did it cost you if you don’t mind me asking.

  31. You are looking awesome. I hope that you don’t have to change your boobs too much, in this picture, they look fine. No wonder why the Daver was smiling in that picture you posted lol.

  32. I really need to thank you for posting your post tummy tuck pictures. I posted mine, too, and some people got their panties in a wad over it. (mine are here, in case you want to compare brand new belly buttons: )

    You look great! Oh, and be careful with the binder–I ended up with a permanent crease from mine. (For real, I’m not exaggerating. It’s there forever and ever).


  33. You look freaking amazing!! Your new whore pants are going to be spectacular!!! All of the boys will be hanging out at your house!!! Congrats to you!!!!!

  34. You look AMAZING. I’m so happy for you. And i’m calling my husband over here to look at these pix because now I’m getting all kinds of ideas. (I want boobies too, tho.)

  35. I totally feel ya! I have hated my tummy since I was old enough to give a shit. Then I had 4 kids … the youngest was born half grown (10.2) & I was a beached whale when I had him then stayed at 200 lbs for a good 3 yrs. Then dropped my dead weight first (stupid ex) then lost all my weight. Now thirty seven year old body has a 95 year old stomach with not a boob to mention!

    I dream of one day having a boob job – nothing huge but something that fits my body & a tummy tuck with it! Nothing sexier on a woman than a pretty tummy. My husband now says Oh I love you the way you are but we know they say whatever to make us happy then lust over beauty.

  36. I love you for being brave enough to do it, then ballsy enough to talk about it and show it. AND, I cannot (literally) count the number of times my bff and I make fun of that stupid French chick and her pot belly thing. Who wants one? OTHER than her? No one. (And then, we usually segue way into the whole Zed’s dead thing.)(Naturally.) You look great and I bet you feel even better! 🙂

  37. I’m probably looking at getting a skin tuck someday, too. I should weigh 200 (getting back there), and I used to weigh 340 or so. Yeah, I wish it would magically shrink as well as it stretches.

    1. Oooooh, I’m trying so hard not to think of that part. I’m two months post-op on my lapband, and the part that really makes me cringe is the knowing that it’s very likely that once I get to goal, I’m going to have like this extra person hanging around my middle that is going to desperately need to be hacked off. I’m just hoping that maybe I’ll also be able to get the girls put back where they belong, too (no, I don’t want them smaller, I just want them to go back home).

  38. those core muscles are important. I was lucky: my yoga instructor wanted to go to see some pre-eminent north american physio when I was 5 months with the first and I learned about diastisis (or whatever the heck that separation is) so I — for the first time in my then 35 years — really looked after my preggers abs. I’m so glad you could get ’em fixed …

    Do you have metal fillings in any of your teeth? I have been slowly getting all of mine replaced with white fillings over the past 10 years and one of my kinds of headaches have all but disappeared …

    Just a thought for those pesky migraines that you still get.

    Heal fast, dear heart! I’m so glad you are taking care of you because we all neeeeeeeeeeeeeed you.

  39. In spite of your pain, you must be ecstatic! And, of course, the pain will pass… Guess you’ll be having blended turkey for Thanksgiving; no? Have a happy one, with lots of family and friends and good memories… You’re just too cool! Come visit when you can…

  40. Congrats, you hot sexy flat-abbed woman, you! Darling, you look FABULOUS. I’m so happy for you and jealous at the same time, I’m not sure whether to do the happy dance or find the voodoo doll. Maybe happy dance with the doll….

  41. Oh Wowzers, I am totally coveting your belleh…in the non-creepiest, non-commandment breaking (for coveting my neighbors goodz…LOL) kind of way. I so want to get rid of my pooch, but methinks surgery isn’t in my budget in the near future. So I’ve been thinking about a way to make my pooch work for ME…to score some cash to be able to afford the belleh work. I’m thinking of pulling up the bottom of the pooch and stuffing some warm fuzzy stuff inside of it and fastening it to the top of the pooch and becoming a surrogate mom for kangaroos. I’ll charge out the ass, of course, because seriously – that is a HUGE commitment to carry a joey around for an infertile ‘roo. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be buying my own belleh work in NO time! P.S. You look FAB!!

  42. Good for you! I think you look great! Fuck anyone that has a problem with it. I’ve always been skinny w/a tummy and I hate it. Now 3 kids later i have a belly AND loose wrinkly skin that hangs off it. I do ultrasound and it’s so irritating to do an OB or pelvic ultrasound on someone who has had several kids and she still manages to have a flat tummy w/not a stretch mark in sight. I see it everyday and I want to cry each and every time. My body was ruined at 22. People who talk shit on these kinds of plastic surgery are probably either A) male or B) them bitches that don’t have battle scarred bellies!

  43. I’m really happy that you did this for yourself. You do so much for everyone else, and mama deserves something just for her. So good for you. You look fucking awesome!

    Big hugs…

  44. Now that you’re looking fabulous with a nice flat belly, you can probably focus on the important thing…gathering up all of your bills, and notes from your doctors regarding muscle spasms and migraines, and write up a lovely justification (because, um, you’re a writer) to send in to your insurance company. Get them to reimburse you – at least for some portion of it. Then you can use that money to get your boobs done! Seriously, though. You can do it – you just have to harass them until they give in.

    My husband would probably spend all of our savings if I would consent to a tummy tuck and a boob job. He’s very invested in appearances. I just keep telling him that this is probably the best I will ever look so he might as well enjoy it while it lasts! I do need to get my hernia fixed, though.

  45. Your phone looks like you stuck marshmallows to it using ABC bubble gum. On a serious note, though, it’s good to hear you’re happy with the operation!

    On a down side though, you just know someone is taking those exact same photos … with a colostomy bag.

    Happy Wednesday, Becky!

  46. You look marvelous dahling! Spanx is the answer…if you can stand pulling it up and over your sore tum, then it will probably be the most comfortable support. Sadly, Spanx costs a fucking arm and a leg. Wish you lived closer so you could take mine out for a test drive before spending the money.

  47. I’m always tempted by the reduction.

    But getting my chin laser-lipo-ed was as much as my pocketbook can afford for a long time.

    Plus, the laser-lipo was a minor fix to what is a MAJOR genetic double chin-jowl combo.

    Mean. The genetics in my family are mean.

    But…am WAY happy that the results are so fantastic and am equally happy that each day is a little less puffy and a little less painful.

    Can I get a WOOT!

  48. You do look great and I am glad you are feeling better. I was considering a tummy tuck. I have a hernia and thought I might be able to slip it in 🙂 Oh, also don’t sweat the thing about writing about being heavy. I go through the same shit. We write about how we feel. Not sure why people don’t “get” that.

    Have a great thanksgiving!

  49. TC Fine Intimates makes some GREAT shapewear. I believe it is better technology than Spanx though not as cute as Yummy Tummy. And the edge does NOT ride up (or down).

  50. Aurgh! I have terrible pangs of envy eminating straight from my scarred, stretchy, wobbly pooch. Congratulations!! I fully intend to slice and dice me back down to “normal human being” shape after I finish up with the crotch parasites, so there’s no judgement here.

    P.S. How is one to incur more parasites with all the wibble and the wobble detering any sort of pro or creation?

    P.S.S. Target now carries a line of shirts called “Suddenly Skinny!”. Try lugging an armful of *that* into a dressing room without chuckling and muttering like a bag lady.

    (But they might make good binder replacements. The Daver would have to stuff you into it like a sausage, though- no clips or zips, and those suckers are tight.)

  51. Thanks for sharing your everything with us Aunty B. The good, the bad and the ouchie. It’s very much appreciated. Before I’d read about your experiences I’d pretty much decided I’d never bother to get a tummy tuck. But…you’ve been very informative and inspiring. You’ve got me thinking…hhhmmnn, maybe I should!

    Even if only to have pants that friggin ‘fit’, if you know what I mean and I have a feeling you do. Life is too short not to wear some sessy sessy jeans or god help me – nice slacks for once! (Post kids bod + cute pants = yikes!). Thanks Aunt Becky. You’re a true inspiration. Speedy recovery. oxo

  52. I’m sure you will hear this from many, but yes, it truly does get better every day… and at 3-4wks post-op you are totally smooth sailing. I am 3.5months post full-TT. I blogged my whole journey on a friend’s site (have my own less-G rated one now), including my post-op. It’s at
    I formed a love-hate relationship with my compression garment. It feels unfamiliar when you function without it! I weaned myself.
    Best of luck!!!

    1. AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THIS. Thank you fo telling me. I’m SO SORE. I keep overdoing it on the good days because I hate being stuck on the couch. My bad. I’m totally reading your story now.

      1. No worries, we all did the same thing…

        I had a unfortunately common complication from my surgery – on the side my drain was on, I got a ‘dog ear’. I couldn’t tell when I still in the ‘swollen-days’ but once the swelling subsided, I had a POUFF on the top region of my incision in the very corner. It sucks a little bit. My 3mo post-op my Dr said its really common and takes 10 minutes to remove under local. Other than that, I am very pleased with my results. From your pic, we have the same body type, so you WILL be pleased with your results.
        Keep me posted! 🙂

  53. I’d totally do you!! WOWZA!!! You know what they say, natural beauty takes time…money…and a really great plastics doc!

    Way to go and kick some ‘body issue’ ass, Becky!


  54. Damn girl I about wore my finger out working the roller on my mouse scrolling down to this box. I love that you have so many people that adore you and yes you do look amazing and I cannot believe a gal that looks as good as you do will be “alone” for very long. Thanks for sharing your experience with us and know you are loved in a very special way.
    Odie in NC

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