Once a year, every year since dinosaurs typed out blog posts with their wee dinosaur hands on their gigantic Stone Age laptops, I do a Meme. Generally speaking, I do not like Memes. I do not think that my Pranksters give a fucking shit how I best like my coffee or what is in my purse right now. HOWEVER. I am compulsive. And since I do this every year, I do this EVERY YEAR.

(As proof that I do not actually have a life, I offer this:  2009 here, 2008 here, 2007 here, 2006 here.)

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

Lost my marbles and managed to find them all again. I also got a phoenix tattoo on my back that I’m incredibly proud of (although it’s not yet finished).

I started two new user-submitted blogs, both of whom call me Site Master Aunt Becky Mushroom Printing and Band Back Together.

They call me Miss Site Master Ma’am, I call them schnookems.

I also went to Las Vegas for the first time. You can see how excited I was by this particular picture. You might want to get up and dance around the room because you will be unable to contain your own excitement upon seeing this photo.

Ready?

Naked Vegas Pictures
Aunt Becky can Party

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I wrote this last year: “2010 is going to be the year Aunt Becky Gets Her Groove Back. And hopefully, her fucking figure too.”

Done and done.

And as far as the New Year, we have a project in the works on Band Back Together that we’re putting together.

In the end, I hope that 2011 will bring me less bullshit and more happiness. More orchids and less backstabbing. More writing and less email. More cowbell and less synthesizers. Clearly.

There’s always room for cowbell.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My food baby just kicked!

More interesting, I birthed MY FIRST VIDEO!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

I’m trying to think of the happy, Meme.

5. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

A disco band and a rock star husband.

6. What countries did you visit?

Las Vegas is considered a country, right?

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why:

Meme, I’m on The Max (Topamax). Dates were the first thing to go.

I guess I’ll choose July 28. My new birthday.

Okay, let me explain. I had to change my date of birth. Turns out that my first DOB, July 15, it’s kinda cursed. After I ended up in Urgent Care for like the 34th birthday in a row, I decided that I was done with that birthday. So I chose a new one!

HAPPY NEW BIRTHDAY, AUNT BECKY!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Creating Band Back Together is probably what I am most proud of. Having a safe place for people to share their stories about really, anything, even the good things in life, ALONG WITH the resource pages (some of which, of course, still need to be created), so that the reader may find the help that they need, I think that was something that was needed.

Also: we pulled a John C. Mayer on the Internet. That was fucking rad.

OOOH! And how could I forget this! MY DIRECTORIAL DEBUT!

9. What was your biggest failure?

I did NOT get molested by the TSA, even though I tried really, really hard.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I always hate to answer this one positively because I feel like I’m tempting fate to drop a piano on my head or something. I had abdominal surgery in November. Does that count?

11. What was the best thing you bought?

That seems braggy and slightly obnoxious. I bought new abdominal muscles. They’re nice, if you’re into that kind of thing.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone who has been brave enough to contribute to Band Back Together.

Also: every person who nominated me for a Bloggie last year. I don’t need to tell you that being a finalist for Best Humor Blog was the biggest honor of my (blogging)(possibly adult)(okay, not possibly, FOR SURE) life. Thank you.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

OH LOOKIT, A BLUE CAR.

I’m kidding. I don’t actually remember having a real beef with anyone this year. I did, however, realize that I was holding onto some old friendships that I probably should have let die awhile ago. I let those go.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Um, Meme, we clearly need to have a talk. Isn’t money a particularly tacky topic of conversation, especially on blogs?

Unless, of course, you want to give me some, in which case, OBVIOUSLY NOT.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Uncrustables.

And that time I was Aunt Becky, Fugitive On The Lam for like 14 hours.

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

G-Love and Jack Johnson, “Rainbow.”

also

Gin Wigmore, “Hey, Ho.”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Very, very much happier. I don’t think it even compares.

ii. thinner or fatter? By a magnitude that even I cannot comprehend, thinner.

iii. richer or poorer? Shut your fucking whore mouth about the fucking money, Meme.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Blocking celebrities on The Twitter. Also: Pranking The Internet.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Accidentally flashing my neighbors.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Dude, Meme, Christmas is over.

21. There was no #21. I don’t know why there was no 21.

I’ll make up my own question because I like to hear myself talk.

Why are you so damn sexy?

I guess I was just born that way, Meme.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?

Over and over again. With myself.

23. How many one-night stands?

How many days are in the year?

THAT many. Plus 20.

24. What was your favorite TV program?

Dexter. Because he and I are in a “relationship.” It’s exclusive because we’re actually married. Even if he doesn’t know it yet.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

*whistles*

*Looks around*

OH LOOK A BLUE…Eh, no. Actually, I don’t. Like

26. What was the best book you read?

Complications: A Surgeon’s Notes on an Imprecise Science.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m not a record producer. I don’t “discover” anything. However, I do love music. The new Santana album is pretty full of the win.

28. What did you want and get?

A discernible waistline. Unrelated, many cups of coffee.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

*scratches head*

Um.

Shit.

I don’t remember.

I’m going to make up a new question:

Where are your pants?

I have no idea. Pants are bullshit.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I went to Urgent Care. No. Fucking seriously, that’s what I did after I went off on a rant on The Twitter about how much clothing sucks these days. Because SRSLY, metal embellishments can kiss my fucking ass.

Then, I decided to change my birthday to another day of the month. My mother, the one person who might have a say in it (she did, after all, pop me out of her vagina on that date) completely agreed with me that the day is cursed.

I celebrated my birthday instead in Las Vegas in December. I was 30. I am beyond happy to be 30.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

This:

Swarovski Toilet

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

First half of 2010: “Holy shit, why did the 80’s come back? Holy shit, does complaining about fashion make me old balls? Holy shit, don’t answer that.”

Post-abdominal surgery 2010: “My abdominal binder brings all the boys to the yard.”

34. What kept you sane?

Um, I write a blog on The Internet where I call myself “Aunt Becky.” I haven’t been “sane” in years.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

BILLY MOTHERFUCKING MAYS.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Butter-side-up or butter-side-down?

37. Who did you miss?

I’ll always miss my friend Stef. She passed away in 2007 at the age of 26 due to complications of chronic alcoholism, leaving behind her two sons.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

My Band of Merry Pranksters.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:

It’s time to be all EYE OF THE MOTHERFUCKING TIGER, AUNT BECKY.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

(God, that seems so MySpace/Emo).

First, I’d like to quote this very, powerful and meaningful song. I think you’ll agree with me that this may be the most important song of our lifetime:

“C is for cookie.

That’s good enough for me.

C is for cookie.

That’s good enough for me.

C is for cookie.

That’s good enough for me.

(cue guitar solo)

Oooooh! Cookie cookie cookie starts with C.”

And one more…for the road:

“Ring your bells that can still ring,

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That’s how the light gets in.”

—————-

The rest of the meme says I should tag some people but, eh, I don’t like lists. They make me twitchy. Mostly because I’ll forget someone and then, then I’ll feel sad in the pants.

INSTEAD.

I’m tagging each of you. If I can do one Meme a year, SO CAN YOU, Pranksters. DO IT. It’s full of the awesome. JUST like 2011 is going to be. Even if I have to beat it into submission and make it my fucking bitch.

Happy New Year, Pranksters. If I you need me, I’ll be hiding under my bed until it’s officially the New Year. There are still a couple of hours yet for an anvil to drop on my head.

Comments

comments

57 thoughts on “2010: A Space Oddity

  1. When I win the Mega Millions tonight, I’m totally buying that Swarovski toilet. And of course you’ll be invited over to use it…but only to pee. No one, and I mean no one, shall crap in my Swarovski toilet.

  2. First & foremost ~ there is No Band without a cowbell!! Rock on!!

    I feel ya on the birthday situation…they kinda suck ass for me too the past 7 years…I may need to steal your idea & adopt a new one. I mean only if you say it’s Ok b/c I really don’t want herpes 😉

    BBT & MP are the Shiznit & I think we should nominate you your the Nobel Peace Price next year girl!! (Thanks for both of them.)

    For #3 next year you can answer YES ~ b/c I will have given birth in June 2011! Shut your whore mouth I KID NOT!!!! I’m so happy I just peed my pants, oh wait, maybe that was b/c I just sneezed.

    Happy New Year Aunt Becky!!!

  3. Really? You are actually going to make me clutter up my pristine blog with a meme?? I might do the evens … or maybe the odds would be a better choice?

  4. Thanks again for the whole Bringing Aunt Becky thing. It inspired me more than you know. (Unless you read my Year-End Review post that I left on your fb wall. Then maybe you know).

    Here’s to an awesome 2011!!

  5. Aunt Becky, You are full of the awesome and you know it! It was all I could do not to send you a Christmas card.

    I’ve been doing this meme since, what, 2008? So thanks for that. Have a rockin NYE and we’ll catch you on the flip side. Does anybody even know about the flip side?

    Sloppy girl kisses to you.

  6. Aunt Becky stop being a bad influence on my 3-year old! She is enchanted with the ‘sparkle toilet’
    Let me just say I’m not sure what dark corners of the internet I was stumbling around in all these years, but I’m sure glad I found this site (and your other new ones!) this year.
    Hugs and smooches just because it’s that kind of day.

  7. Love, love, love you! So glad I found you a couple of months ago!
    I pray to GOD that 2011 is better that 2010! Seriously. I may be hiding with you under the covers until it is tomorrow!
    Keep rockin’ on Aunt Becky!!
    May we all have a balls out fantastic 2011!!!!!!!

  8. Pondering joining you. But sad I wasn’t the most interesting person you met this year! (though I know I am) (you know I am, too) (because I talk Southern) (and offer to push your old-lady-wheelchair so you could see Leonard Motherfucking Cohen) Here’s to 2011!

  9. So glad you finally trashed your obviously cursed birthday. If I had enough time to do more than read one blog a week, I would consider the meme, but it is not meant to be.

    Also, Max and I have come to an agreement, finally. He blocks out the bad memories and I don’t dump him in the bedazzled toilet. Or maybe I did. Oh hell, I can’t remember where I put Max.

  10. So glad you finally trashed your obviously cursed birthday. If I had enough time to do more than read one blog a week, I would consider the meme, but it is not meant to be.

    Also, Max and I have come to an agreement, finally. He blocks out the bad memories and I don’t dump him in the bedazzled toilet. Or maybe I did. Oh hell, I can’t remember where I put Max.

  11. Can I tell you what totally rocked the party that rocked par-tay in 2010? Finding mother F’n Aunt Becky! Meeting you at Blogher and getting your card was like God came down and said “here is one of those fucked up people like yourself that you will totally get”. And then I wanted to go out and buy us BFF necklaces and pimped your ass out to any other fucked up homies I know (which seems like everyone)!
    Happy new year to you and your new abs!

  12. I forgot to add that Band Back Together has been the best therapy for me I have had in YEARS! Not only has it set words into the universe that I have been dying to say, it also made me realize I am not alone. I will forever –eva –eva applaud you for this.

    1. I am going to take this and use this today in my post. I may put it up on Monday. But you know. It needs to be shown and I doubt very many people read this far into my comments to see it.

      THANK YOU.

      I love you.

  13. I am on far, far too many prescription drugs to write a meme that long (this time they even gave me ‘roids, dude. Steroids, not hemroids.), so I will simply say this. Happy F’in New Year.

  14. I do it every year for the same reason – because I always have. So, even after I stop blogging completely (if that ever happens), I will probably come back at the end of every year just to do this post, haha.

    I need to watch Dexter. It’s one of those shows I have always been curious about but never bothered to watch.

    Happy New Year!

  15. Happy New Year Aunt Becky…but, I gotta tell you, my new year isn’t off to a great start. My husband said I can’t get a Swarovski toilet when we redo our bathroom. What a party pooper.

  16. I love you enough to tell you I might do the meme, but that doesn’t mean that I actually will do the meme. But I am glad that your evaluation of your year puts you on a definite upswing. Happy in the pants for you. I do promise to put some stuff on Band Back Together, one of these days. Come see my funny Christmas present on my blog, I guarantee you one free laugh. Fur sure.

  17. Funny I read all of that and all that stuck with me was the Uncrustables. Best food invention ever. Happy New Year! Thanks for the laughs!

  18. Happy New Year, Aunt Becky!

    Just so you know. Your new birthday?

    Is the day Halley’s Comet is due to arrive back here on earth in the year 2061. So on your 81st birthday — there it will be saying “Happy Birthday to you” in a blaze across the sky. So you have to stick around to see it. Me, I’d be 101, so I’m not counting on getting to see it again (but one can always hope).

    And I know all this because Ethan and I were looking up periodic comets on Wikipedia because of Sozen’s Comet on Last Airbender (the cool animated TV series, not the lame-o movie). And so found out that Halley’s Comet will be coming the day before his 59th birthday.

    Also? That’s still my favorite Leonard Cohen quote. Just perfect.

    Hope 2011 is good to you!

  19. Happy fucking New Year Aunt Becky! You totally made 2010 so much better especially here on the internet. And just for you I’ll do a Meme. If you ever decide to change your birthday again May 5th is a good date. And sadly I didn’t win the Powerball last night so no Swarovski crystal toilet for me but maybe next week

  20. Happy new year, Becky 🙂 Hope 2011 will rock your socks off… WITH cowbell. As for 28 july, your new birthday? That’s actually mine, but I’ll gladly share it with you. 😀

    Best wishes to you and yours <3

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