It’s a good damn thing that my Vitamin Z is making me feel loads better, otherwise I would feel completely overwhelmed by my youngest son’s newest trick.
He has gone from being pretty immobile to crawling literally overnight.
Now, by this age (10 months young) Ben was walking shufflingy along (I love how toddlers walk like little drunk people. It makes their tantrums completely endearing), so I’ve been pretty spoiled by Alex’s lack of movement.
I mean, it’s not like I’d planned on breaking his ickle legs to get him to stay where I put him, but I knew full well once this began, my hair was going to turn even more grey (as my kids are apt to do for me, God bless their hearts), and doing even a simple load of laundry was going to require a cocktail chaser.
It has, no doubt, but it is also completely endearing, watching him explore the house and finding joy in such things as splashing in the dog’s water bowl. The toilet holds a special fascination for him (probably because he has spent many months sitting on the floor as I
crapped my brains out did my business) as does the diaper pail (mayhap he’s a bit bowel-obsessed, a habit which I can blame only on myself).
The animals are suitably underwhelmed by his sudden ability to follow them around screaming alternately “KATTY-CAT” or “DOOOOGIE” in their faces while he grabs handfuls of their hair. Maybe I should feel sorrier for them, but since this is something he has done to me for as long as I can remember, I can only find it humorous.
(Put down the phone, Dear Internet, and don’t bother calling DCFS on me; I don’t allow him to abuse them too much, and over archingly, they seem to like him. He’s a likable dude)
He is just doing his best to live up to his nickname of “The Monkey” with his ability to get into absolutely everything possible, and leave a trail of wreckage in his merry-making. It’s what he does best, afterall.
And I can always hire him out as a floor duster. He’ll be like a Swiffer, only more interactive. Shit, spray him down with Pledge and he’ll polish your furniture! Man, I am FULL of good ideas.
Any takers? Any suggestions?